Just Fun (Humour.).
Correspondent:: tjswank@hotmail.com (Man's Best Friend)
Date: 23 Nov 2004 11:08:52 -0800
--------
J U S T F U N .
Featuring
HORT &
MORT
***
FUN ON THE PHONE [1]
CLERK: Joe's Tobacco Shop.
HORT: Yes. Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
CLERK: Yes we do.
HORT: Well, let him out!
[APPLAUSE.]
***
MORT: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
HORT: Mort. MORT! MORT!
MORT: Huh? Wha--? Whazzit?
HORT: Wake up! It's time to take your sleeping pill.
[APPLAUSE]
***
FUN ON THE PHONE [2]
BARTENDER: Jackie's bar.
HORT: Yeah. Could you page Mike Hunt?
[APPLAUSE]
***
FUN ON THE PHONE [3]
CLERK: Johnson Bowling Supply.
HORT: Do you have sixteen-pound balls?
[APPLAUSE]
***
HORT: Is your refrigerator running?
MORT: Uh, yeah.
HORT: Well, you'd better catch it before it goes away!
[APPLAUSE]
SOLO ENCORE
HORT: Where four Catholics gather, there's always a fifth.
[APPLAUSE. STANDING OVATION]
= T H E E N D . =
Written & Directed by E. Knawder Titzoff
Editorial Direction by Hubb Kapp
Produced by Ova Anne Dunwith
Executive Producer Hugh Manity
(ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: Special thanks to Dr. William Power, DD for his
invaluable contributions.)
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 19:46:43 GMT
--------
In article ,
tjswank@hotmail.com (Man's Best Friend) wrote:
> J U S T F U N .
> Featuring
> HORT &
> MORT
> ***
> FUN ON THE PHONE [1]
>
> CLERK: Joe's Tobacco Shop.
> HORT: Yes. Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
> CLERK: Yes we do.
> HORT: Well, let him out!
> [APPLAUSE.]
You should be ground into kibble, mixed with mercury and fed to an
endlessly-yapping neighborhood dog everyone hates.
--
HellPope Huey
The abject beauty of the blah blah blah
is directly and inversely proportional
to the grinding horror of the ungh urgh argh.
For every human problem,
there is a neat, simple solution;
and it is always wrong
- H. L. Mencken
"I like my sex the way I like my basketball:
one-on-one and with as little rimming as possible."
- "Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult"