SubHomeland Fecal Alert: "How full of shit am I?"
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Tue, 02 Nov 2004 17:12:58 GMT
--------
Green - Low
"All-consumingly wonderful and feces-free. Delightful, quick to
laugh, slow to anger, magnanimous, sharp-witted, tripping the light
fantastic, flying through the air shooting alternating puffs of lilac
and sandalwood from your ass. Probably getting sexed up right nice-like,
debts well in hand, with car not making any unsettling noises at all.
Slightly annoying to people at lower levels, but you are swell, so they
don't mind that much. Running with the big dogs through the canyons of
your mind and just really super in general, thanks for asking!"
Blue - Guarded - general risk
"Beginning to emit a bit of gaseous warning-foulness. Not exactly
appalling, but definitely lacking in the golden glow of the Green level.
Holding your own relatively well, but making that face which says
'Warning! Possible Cranky Pants!' Medication holding the line to within
spec, but also not making you the master/mistress of all you survey,
either. Minor, one-word, first-degree expletives heard from time to
time, especially when safely aimed at the television, traffic or pets.
Vein in temple delivers occasional small pulse."
Yellow - Elevated - significant risk
"Skirting the near side of Buttheadism. Random stamping of foot
beginning to appear. Objects being thrown from time to time. Angry
comments about work, society, religion and/or politics in evidence.
Expressions of desire to whomp someone increasing. Hot Pockets and
chocolate no longer cutting the mustard. Personally comforting
mini-delusions showing signs of strain. Even sarcastic adult cartoons
and video footage of political figures stumbling over their tongues or
falling down not eliciting grins as they once did. Someone needs a hug,
but odds of getting one decreasing steadily."
Orange - High
"In grave danger of being full of it. Others being lightly splattered
with warning flecks of your emissions. Outside facts, opinions, wants
and needs having no effect on your personal headlong plunge into Me-ism.
You are presenting as unreasonable, grossly inconsiderate, petty,
bullying, selfish, virtually humorless. Imminent danger of screwing a
pooch as tall as a Clydesdale. Debating doing personal damage to
others. Listening to both Art Bell and the O'Reilly Report and taking
them at face value. Basically being a stinkpot. Bad moon rising from the
back of your pants."
Severe - Red
"Filled to overflowing with crap. Far past the point where a mere
apology will suffice; jewelry and submissive showing of buttocks
required, just to get rolling again. A clear and present, highly-active
pinwheel, coating everything and everyone in sight with a thick layer
any time you open your mouth or take an action. Even flies are revolted.
Someone may get punched right inna moosh. Maintenance at this level
threatens to burn all bridges and permanently soil your dickey with the
Brown 'A'. Get a grip, FUCK you, SHUT UP, I'll see you in COURT,
motherfucker!"
I recommend trying to stay as near Green as possible, but as I am
usually somewhere between Blue and Yellow at best, I'm sure not claiming
any uppity moral high ground. Same to you.
--
HellPope Huey ~ www.subgenius.com
Pull my lever, you lush hottie
Doesn't matter who you vote for,
the Goverment gets elected.
- Mr. M. J. Lush
"Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos."
- Homer Simpson
www.georgecarlin.com
Correspondent:: ""
Date: 2 Nov 2004 17:32:10 GMT
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HellPope Huey posted:
> Personally comforting
> mini-delusions showing signs of strain.
i've noticed a bit of that around here the last few days...
;p
--
TheTruthHurts.
Correspondent:: kdetal@aol.com (KD et al)
Date: 04 Nov 2004 02:28:54 GMT
--------
>Green - Low
> "All-consumingly wonderful and feces-free. Delightful, quick to
>laugh, slow to anger, magnanimous, sharp-witted, tripping the light
>fantastic, flying through the air shooting alternating puffs of lilac
>and sandalwood from your ass. Probably getting sexed up right nice-like,
>debts well in hand, with car not making any unsettling noises at all.
>Slightly annoying to people at lower levels, but you are swell, so they
>don't mind that much. Running with the big dogs through the canyons of
>your mind and just really super in general, thanks for asking!"
>
> Blue - Guarded - general risk
> "Beginning to emit a bit of gaseous warning-foulness. Not exactly
>appalling, but definitely lacking in the golden glow of the Green level.
>Holding your own relatively well, but making that face which says
>'Warning! Possible Cranky Pants!' Medication holding the line to within
>spec, but also not making you the master/mistress of all you survey,
>either. Minor, one-word, first-degree expletives heard from time to
>time, especially when safely aimed at the television, traffic or pets.
>Vein in temple delivers occasional small pulse."
>
>Yellow - Elevated - significant risk
> "Skirting the near side of Buttheadism. Random stamping of foot
>beginning to appear. Objects being thrown from time to time. Angry
>comments about work, society, religion and/or politics in evidence.
>Expressions of desire to whomp someone increasing. Hot Pockets and
>chocolate no longer cutting the mustard. Personally comforting
>mini-delusions showing signs of strain. Even sarcastic adult cartoons
>and video footage of political figures stumbling over their tongues or
>falling down not eliciting grins as they once did. Someone needs a hug,
>but odds of getting one decreasing steadily."
>
>Orange - High
> "In grave danger of being full of it. Others being lightly splattered
>with warning flecks of your emissions. Outside facts, opinions, wants
>and needs having no effect on your personal headlong plunge into Me-ism.
>You are presenting as unreasonable, grossly inconsiderate, petty,
>bullying, selfish, virtually humorless. Imminent danger of screwing a
>pooch as tall as a Clydesdale. Debating doing personal damage to
>others. Listening to both Art Bell and the O'Reilly Report and taking
>them at face value. Basically being a stinkpot. Bad moon rising from the
>back of your pants."
>
> Severe - Red
> "Filled to overflowing with crap. Far past the point where a mere
>apology will suffice; jewelry and submissive showing of buttocks
>required, just to get rolling again. A clear and present, highly-active
>pinwheel, coating everything and everyone in sight with a thick layer
>any time you open your mouth or take an action. Even flies are revolted.
>Someone may get punched right inna moosh. Maintenance at this level
>threatens to burn all bridges and permanently soil your dickey with the
>Brown 'A'. Get a grip, FUCK you, SHUT UP, I'll see you in COURT,
>motherfucker!"
>
> I recommend trying to stay as near Green as possible, but as I am
>usually somewhere between Blue and Yellow at best, I'm sure not claiming
>any uppity moral high ground. Same to you.
Life being life, hormones being hormones and assholes being assholes, I can run
from green to blue to yellow and back again ten times an hour.
--
Oh yeah? Well FUCK YOU.
Correspondent:: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Date: 4 Nov 2004 08:32:39 -0800
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kdetal@aol.com (KD et al) wrote in message news:<20041103212854.06541.00000014@mb-m24.aol.com>...
> Life being life, hormones being hormones and assholes being assholes, I can run
> from green to blue to yellow and back again ten times an hour.
I THOUGHT I smelled something burning.
--
HellPope Huey
Never mind the bollocks,
where's the bleedin' cordiality?
Where would this country be
without this great land of ours?
- Ronald Reagan
"Two dogs died, one from guinea worms,
the other from you."
- Hunter S. Thompson