The Fundamental Truth of Starbucks
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Thu, 18 Nov 2004 17:05:27 GMT
--------
Anyone who tries to serve you a cup of coffee for $4 should have it
served back to them in an enema bag. Jump on the bag once the nozzle is
in, too. Jump HARD.
--
HellPope Huey
I am not a conservative crossdresser, but IT COULD HAPPEN!!
YES!!! MY KIND SHALL something something!!
And if you gaze for long into an abyss,
the abyss gazes also into you.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
When you gaze into the abyss,
Mrs. Barstow pokes you in the eye
and screams at you to plug up that hole in her shower stall
or she'll KICK YOU INNA NUTS.
- HellPope Huey
Correspondent:: hjkl@hjkl.com (hjkl)
Date: Thu, 18 Nov 2004 17:39:15 GMT
--------
On Thu, 18 Nov 2004 17:05:27 GMT, HellPope Huey
wrote:
>
> Anyone who tries to serve you a cup of coffee for $4 should have it
>served back to them in an enema bag. Jump on the bag once the nozzle is
>in, too. Jump HARD.
Shit, they might pay you $25 for that. I worked at a fancy-pants fat
farm in upstate NY years ago. Even met Gloria Steinem there (yeah, I
know -- big fucking deal). Anyway the ONLY reason they made coffee was
for the enemas.
Correspondent:: reflex
Date: Thu, 18 Nov 2004 13:31:58 -0500
--------
In article <419cddc3.1852231750@news.itd.umich.edu>,
hjkl@hjkl.com (hjkl) wrote:
> On Thu, 18 Nov 2004 17:05:27 GMT, HellPope Huey
> wrote:
>
> >
> > Anyone who tries to serve you a cup of coffee for $4 should have it
> >served back to them in an enema bag. Jump on the bag once the nozzle is
> >in, too. Jump HARD.
>
> Shit, they might pay you $25 for that.
Well, then, logic dictates that you then turn around and charge
*$50* for the now colon-ejected coffee, this time as beverage.
Correspondent:: "Mortimer Schnerd, RN"
Date: Thu, 18 Nov 2004 20:03:30 GMT
--------
reflex wrote:
>>> Anyone who tries to serve you a cup of coffee for $4 should have it
>>> served back to them in an enema bag. Jump on the bag once the nozzle is
>>> in, too. Jump HARD.
>>
>> Shit, they might pay you $25 for that.
>
> Well, then, logic dictates that you then turn around and charge
> *$50* for the now colon-ejected coffee, this time as beverage.
Well, of course they would; it's been improved.
--
Mortimer Schnerd, RN
mortschnerd@XXXXcarolina.rr.com
Correspondent:: BELANGER
Date: Thu, 18 Nov 2004 15:19:40 -0500
--------
reflex insists:
>In article <419cddc3.1852231750@news.itd.umich.edu>,
> hjkl@hjkl.com (hjkl) wrote:
>
>> On Thu, 18 Nov 2004 17:05:27 GMT, HellPope Huey
>> wrote:
>>
>> >
>> > Anyone who tries to serve you a cup of coffee for $4 should have it
>> >served back to them in an enema bag. Jump on the bag once the nozzle is
>> >in, too. Jump HARD.
>>
>> Shit, they might pay you $25 for that.
>
>Well, then, logic dictates that you then turn around and charge
>*$50* for the now colon-ejected coffee, this time as beverage.
$85 if you say it was from an ocelot.
--
BELANGER
Just wear the appropriate hospital mask.
Correspondent:: andy_christ@yahoo.com (Ian)
Date: 21 Nov 2004 02:07:13 -0800
--------
BELANGER wrote in message news:...
> reflex insists:
>
> $85 if you say it was from an ocelot.
I think you're thinking of the civet. You know, our friend who gave
us SARS. (well, not exactly, but a close relative.)
On Civets, SARS, and coffee:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/3409359.stm
Wikipedia article on civets and related species, which mentions their
use in the perfume industry (they scrape the musk from glands in it's
ass...that's almost as tasteless as making coffee from their shit):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viverridae
An ocelot is a cat, a civet is not.
Here's a puzzler: How many animals can you name which are submitted
to more degrading exploitation than the civet? I mean, hell, at least
most other animals are KILLED before anything especially nasty is done
to them.
Correspondent:: BELANGER
Date: Sun, 21 Nov 2004 22:58:32 -0500
--------
andy_christ@yahoo.com (Ian) insists:
>BELANGER wrote in message news:...
>> reflex insists:
>>
>
>> $85 if you say it was from an ocelot.
>
>
>I think you're thinking of the civet. You know, our friend who gave
>us SARS. (well, not exactly, but a close relative.)
NO I MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT THINKING OF A CIVET HOW DARE YOU
Correspondent:: soylent_purple@hotmail.com (Roy. Just Roy.)
Date: 22 Nov 2004 09:33:45 -0800
--------
andy_christ@yahoo.com (Ian) wrote in message news:<51b1a42d.0411210207.2d920dfc@posting.google.com>...
> I mean, hell, at least
> most other animals are KILLED before anything especially nasty is done
> to them.
You mean like the lobster?
Oh, yes, we're going to emasculate you with rubber bands around your
claws, and overpack you into a clear tank until you're crapping all
over each other, naturally without food. A large, fleshy creature will
come along and pick you out, and just when you're about ready to
proclaim your rescuer as your lord and savior, he pops you into a
steel tank and boils you alive with hot steam.
It's kind of like Christianity without the little wafers.
Correspondent:: hjkl@hjkl.com (hjkl)
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004 18:14:36 GMT
--------
On 22 Nov 2004 09:33:45 -0800, soylent_purple@hotmail.com (Roy. Just
Roy.) wrote:
>Oh, yes, we're going to emasculate you with rubber bands around your
>claws, and overpack you into a clear tank until you're crapping all
>over each other, naturally without food.
The LAWD in his wisdom has made them cannibals.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Fri, 19 Nov 2004 00:04:42 GMT
--------
In article <419cea9e$0$12259$1c4686b2@selenium.club.cc.cmu.edu>,
reflex wrote:
> In article <419cddc3.1852231750@news.itd.umich.edu>,
> hjkl@hjkl.com (hjkl) wrote:
> > On Thu, 18 Nov 2004 17:05:27 GMT, HellPope Huey
> > wrote:
> > >
> > > Anyone who tries to serve you a cup of coffee for $4 should have it
> > >served back to them in an enema bag. Jump on the bag once the nozzle is
> > >in, too. Jump HARD.
> >
> > Shit, they might pay you $25 for that.
>
> Well, then, logic dictates that you then turn around and charge
> *$50* for the now colon-ejected coffee, this time as beverage.
Okay, now we have to consider the best places to serve it for top
dollar. The Congressional cafeteria seems like a logical starting point.
Then Oral Roberts University, Red Cross units aiding disaster victims in
California and the Carolinas and, of course, Subgenius Devivals.
Gee, we should freeze-dry it and sell it online. Great new revenue
stream for Stang. Starbuck's would be a natural customer. Now THERE'S
some recycling for you. All we need is a good name for it..... (wait for
it)....
--
HellPope Huey
I am not a conservative crossdresser, but IT COULD HAPPEN!!
YES!!! MY KIND SHALL something something!!
And if you gaze for long into an abyss,
the abyss gazes also into you.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
When you gaze into the abyss,
Mrs. Barstow pokes you in the eye
and screams at you to plug up that hole in her shower stall
or she'll KICK YOU INNA NUTS.
- HellPope Huey
Correspondent:: ichorwhip@netzero.net (ichorwhip)
Date: 18 Nov 2004 19:30:12 -0800
--------
reflex wrote in message news:<419cea9e$0$12259$1c4686b2@selenium.club.cc.cmu.edu>...
> In article <419cddc3.1852231750@news.itd.umich.edu>,
> hjkl@hjkl.com (hjkl) wrote:
>
> > On Thu, 18 Nov 2004 17:05:27 GMT, HellPope Huey
> > wrote:
> >
> > >
> > > Anyone who tries to serve you a cup of coffee for $4 should have it
> > >served back to them in an enema bag. Jump on the bag once the nozzle is
> > >in, too. Jump HARD.
> >
> > Shit, they might pay you $25 for that.
>
> Well, then, logic dictates that you then turn around and charge
> *$50* for the now colon-ejected coffee, this time as beverage.
Asspresso? No thanks.
i
"piop"
Correspondent:: "NeuroManson"
Date: Thu, 18 Nov 2004 19:29:08 GMT
--------
And, AND, make sure it's still scalding hot when you do it.
"HellPope Huey" wrote in message
news:hulkturds-16DC7A.11064418112004@news1.west.earthlink.net...
>
> Anyone who tries to serve you a cup of coffee for $4 should have it
> served back to them in an enema bag. Jump on the bag once the nozzle is
> in, too. Jump HARD.
>
> --
>
> HellPope Huey
> I am not a conservative crossdresser, but IT COULD HAPPEN!!
> YES!!! MY KIND SHALL something something!!
>
> And if you gaze for long into an abyss,
> the abyss gazes also into you.
> - Friedrich Nietzsche
>
> When you gaze into the abyss,
> Mrs. Barstow pokes you in the eye
> and screams at you to plug up that hole in her shower stall
> or she'll KICK YOU INNA NUTS.
> - HellPope Huey
Correspondent:: hexanthic@techemail.com (Den Mu)
Date: 18 Nov 2004 17:45:30 -0800
--------
Yo here is my barista rap
Move over yo cause this cat can grind the beans make it fine or coarse
have steamed milk like the proz make designs like a daoist make your
boss impressed with my prowess show up at the interview and dressed
for success honey I will make you a Mocha so smooth like chocolate
yeah I rock it cause I keep the utensils stocked have the Atlanta
baristas shocked.Yeah boy you better recognize I was a 206 Java
Regulata you better know that area code that's Seattle Queen of the
Sea no not that Starbucks shit I am talking Northern Italian Style
Extraction techniques.
That's right mofos I am going bust a bean in yo ass!
Correspondent:: "another insane democrat"
Date: Thu, 18 Nov 2004 23:13:55 -0500
--------
"NeuroManson" wrote in message
news:8K6nd.630479$8_6.42443@attbi_s04...
> And, AND, make sure it's still scalding hot when you do it.
Sure, then just watch, some stupid putz someplace
will go an spill a cup on their lap or hold the cup
between their legs while driving, cause a multi-vehicle
MVA, they it'll cost you $6 a pop because they'll
have to label the freakin cups and lids like McDees
does now. If they do his already at Sb's that's nice.
I'll take my black caffene water at the Dunkin Donutz
from Hashneesh Patel and his extended family who
run the place 24/7.
Correspondent:: chaos_israel@antisocial.com (The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel)
Date: 18 Nov 2004 19:16:15 -0800
--------
HellPope Huey wrote in message news:...
> Anyone who tries to serve you a cup of coffee for $4 should have it
> served back to them in an enema bag. Jump on the bag once the nozzle is
> in, too. Jump HARD.
Have you ever actually *had* Starbucks coffee?
If not I'd recommend the Cafe Mocha. Like hot chocolate with a kick. Perfect.
>
> And if you gaze for long into an abyss,
> the abyss gazes also into you.
> - Friedrich Nietzsche
So.
What color are her eyes?
Or did she refuse to send you her picture, too?
--
C.
Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Fri, 19 Nov 2004 03:23:39 GMT
--------
"The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel" wrote:
> HellPope Huey wrote in message news:...
> > Anyone who tries to serve you a cup of coffee for $4 should have it
> > served back to them in an enema bag. Jump on the bag once the nozzle is
> > in, too. Jump HARD.
>
> Have you ever actually *had* Starbucks coffee?
>
> If not I'd recommend the Cafe Mocha. Like hot chocolate with a kick. Perfect.
>
> >
> > And if you gaze for long into an abyss,
> > the abyss gazes also into you.
> > - Friedrich Nietzsche
>
> So.
> What color are her eyes?
> Or did she refuse to send you her picture, too?
>
> --
> C.
Well, ya know coffee prices are at a 60 year
low, but you'd never know it from the shelf
prices. You got to buy green beans by the
fucking shipload, and get one of the small
antique vertical roasters so that you can
smell coffee roasting for blocks, that's
how you kick Starbucks ass!
Correspondent:: HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer
Date: Thu, 18 Nov 2004 23:15:45 -0600
--------
On 18 Nov 2004 19:16:15 -0800, chaos_israel@antisocial.com (The Rev.
Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel) wrote:
>HellPope Huey wrote in message news:...
>> Anyone who tries to serve you a cup of coffee for $4 should have it
>> served back to them in an enema bag. Jump on the bag once the nozzle is
>> in, too. Jump HARD.
>
>Have you ever actually *had* Starbucks coffee?
>
>If not I'd recommend the Cafe Mocha. Like hot chocolate with a kick. Perfect.
>
>
Cheap substitute-->Gas Station Cappocino
Sometimes you can find a place with the fat free flavors *squee*
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Fri, 19 Nov 2004 17:30:22 GMT
--------
In article <72e1e1e3.0411181916.7812150e@posting.google.com>,
chaos_israel@antisocial.com (The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel) wrote:
> HellPope Huey wrote in message
> news:...
> > Anyone who tries to serve you a cup of coffee for $4 should have it
> > served back to them in an enema bag. Jump on the bag once the nozzle is
> > in, too. Jump HARD.
>
> Have you ever actually *had* Starbucks coffee?
Yes, Biblically. I bought a bottle of it from Scagg's and then fucked
the bottle. Hey, I was lonely, shut up.
> > And if you gaze for long into an abyss,
> > the abyss gazes also into you.
> > - Friedrich Nietzsche
> So.
> What color are her eyes?
> Or did she refuse to send you her picture, too?
She only has one eye and its blue. It rolls around a lot, though.
--
HellPope Huey
I clicked my ruby slippers together,
but nothing happened
and the bikers beat the crap out of me anyway
We are here on Earth to do good to others.
What the others are here for, I don't know.
- W. H. Auden
"In the event of an emergency,
I stand in a field with a cow and wait to be airlifted."
- "The West Wing"
Correspondent:: your weight in my toilet bowl
Date: Fri, 19 Nov 2004 18:24:58 -0500
--------
The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel wrote:
> HellPope Huey wrote in message news:...
>
>>Anyone who tries to serve you a cup of coffee for $4 should have it
>>served back to them in an enema bag. Jump on the bag once the nozzle is
>>in, too. Jump HARD.
>
>
> Have you ever actually *had* Starbucks coffee?
>
> If not I'd recommend the Cafe Mocha. Like hot chocolate with a kick. Perfect.
>
>
>
>
>> And if you gaze for long into an abyss,
>> the abyss gazes also into you.
>> - Friedrich Nietzsche
>
>
> So.
> What color are her eyes?
> Or did she refuse to send you her picture, too?
... I WILL NOT SELL INTO THE HYPE!!!" dunkin' donuts french vanilla
suits me fine!
b
>
> --
> C.
--
... this is my sig. it's one of the best
sigs on the net.i know what you're asking
yourself. 'did he post 5 or 6 messages'?
well, in all the confusion i kinda lost
track myself. so you gotta ask yourself
one question 'do you feel lucky'? huh,
DO YA? DO YA PUNK'? GO FOR IT, MAKE MY BED!!!'
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Sun, 21 Nov 2004 21:40:55 -0800
--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
>
>
> Anyone who tries to serve you a cup of coffee for $4 should have it
> served back to them in an enema bag. Jump on the bag once the nozzle is
> in, too. Jump HARD.
>
If I could get a coffee enema for $4 I sure wouldn't be wasting my money
on all those filters.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004 17:33:14 GMT
--------
In article <41A17BE5.59911DF4@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:
> HellPope Huey wrote:
> >
> > Anyone who tries to serve you a cup of coffee for $4 should have it
> > served back to them in an enema bag. Jump on the bag once the nozzle is
> > in, too. Jump HARD.
> >
> If I could get a coffee enema for $4 I sure wouldn't be wasting my money
> on all those filters.
Now you KNOW people began dumping out their penny jars and making sure
they had fresh tape & batteries in their camcorders the minute they read
that.
--
HellPope Huey
In real life, I am a warm and playful companion
hampered only by being a telekinetic alcoholic.
I never have to pay for a drop.
"You haven't hit rock bottom
until you've fought off three other drunks
to suck on a Hungarian booby-pickle."
- "The Drew Carey Show"
"They'll let anyone foster a kid.
They'd let me and I'm 100 years old and a Communist to boot."
- Don Rickles, "The Wool Cap"
Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.comsucks (AssCo Assc)
Date: 22 Nov 2004 17:54:33 GMT
--------
<< > If I could get a coffee enema for $4 I sure wouldn't be wasting my money
on all those filters. >>
Have you met purple's ex?
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