dear alt dot slack personal shopper

Correspondent:: SubGenius Spice
Date: Fri, 26 Nov 2004 17:08:55 GMT

--------

usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?






Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Fri, 26 Nov 2004 10:31:15 -0800

--------
On Fri, 26 Nov 2004 17:08:55 GMT, SubGenius Spice
wrote:

>
>usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?
>
>
>

howz about a pocket-sized Starbuck's coffee squeezer?


--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
No S in MONTER

- The Rev. Ivan Stang



Correspondent:: SubGenius Spice
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 2004 15:47:45 GMT

--------
In alt.slack, Zapanaz was all like...

:: On Fri, 26 Nov 2004 17:08:55 GMT, SubGenius Spice
:: wrote:
::
:: >
:: >usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?
::
:: howz about a pocket-sized Starbuck's coffee squeezer?

lemon and lime juice is available in little plastic squeeze fruits, i
guess for when you need to do a tequila shooter on the bus, so having
coffee in a portable squeeze container makes a lot of sense.

even though you probably didn't mean to.






Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 2004 08:30:26 -0800

--------
On Sun, 28 Nov 2004 15:47:45 GMT, SubGenius Spice
wrote:

>In alt.slack, Zapanaz was all like...
>
>:: On Fri, 26 Nov 2004 17:08:55 GMT, SubGenius Spice
>:: wrote:
>::
>:: >
>:: >usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?
>::
>:: howz about a pocket-sized Starbuck's coffee squeezer?
>
>lemon and lime juice is available in little plastic squeeze fruits, i
>guess for when you need to do a tequila shooter on the bus, so having
>coffee in a portable squeeze container makes a lot of sense.
>
>even though you probably didn't mean to.
>

NO I mean like if coffee is good and espresso is even better then you
need something to make your coffee even more press on teh run.

>
>

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
Winching that baby into the cage is going to be no picnic.



Correspondent:: SubGenius Spice
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 16:47:50 GMT

--------
In alt.slack, Zapanaz was all like...

:: NO I mean like if coffee is good and espresso is even better then you
:: need something to make your coffee even more press on teh run.

why not just eat the grounds out of the can with a spoon.



Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 17:38:36 GMT

--------
In article ,
SubGenius Spice wrote:
> In alt.slack, Zapanaz was all like...
>
> :: NO I mean like if coffee is good and espresso is even better then you
> :: need something to make your coffee even more press on teh run.
>
> why not just eat the grounds out of the can with a spoon.

Yeah and while you're at it, why not keep a pinch of alum in one cheek
and a thick slice of lemon in the other and then complain about how they
turned you down as a Big Brother candidate because your all-but-inverted
countenance scared the pee out of the interviewer. SHMOON! SHMOOOON!

--

HellPope Huey
Religion is like dropping sea urchins in your pants
and then trying to convince others
that they should do it too, because its "good."
Oh, SHUT UP.

The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
- Mark Twain

"Smoking and drinking go together,
like porn and nachos."
- "The Oblongs"


Correspondent:: SubGenius Spice
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 17:44:06 GMT

--------
In alt.slack, HellPope Huey was all like...

:: In article ,
:: SubGenius Spice wrote:
:: > In alt.slack, Zapanaz was all like...
:: >
:: > :: NO I mean like if coffee is good and espresso is even better then you
:: > :: need something to make your coffee even more press on teh run.
:: >
:: > why not just eat the grounds out of the can with a spoon.
::
:: Yeah and while you're at it, why not keep a pinch of alum in one cheek
:: and a thick slice of lemon in the other and then complain about how they
:: turned you down as a Big Brother candidate because your all-but-inverted
:: countenance scared the pee out of the interviewer. SHMOON! SHMOOOON!

with a combination like that, you'd win the gilbert godfreid look-alike
contest.




Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 17:50:09 GMT

--------


SubGenius Spice wrote:

> In alt.slack, HellPope Huey was all like...
>
> :: In article ,
> :: SubGenius Spice wrote:
> :: > In alt.slack, Zapanaz was all like...
> :: >
> :: > :: NO I mean like if coffee is good and espresso is even better then you
> :: > :: need something to make your coffee even more press on teh run.
> :: >
> :: > why not just eat the grounds out of the can with a spoon.
> ::
> :: Yeah and while you're at it, why not keep a pinch of alum in one cheek
> :: and a thick slice of lemon in the other and then complain about how they
> :: turned you down as a Big Brother candidate because your all-but-inverted
> :: countenance scared the pee out of the interviewer. SHMOON! SHMOOOON!
>
> with a combination like that, you'd win the gilbert godfreid look-alike
> contest.

A middle aged woman decided she wasnt getting any younger and her sex life wasnt
getting any better. So she decided to spice it up a little by getting a tattoo.
So she goes to a tattoo parlor and tells the artist she always thought the
beatles were cute.

So she asked him to tattoo John Lennon on the right side of her upper thigh and
Paul McCartney on the left. When the tattoo was finished and she got the bandages
off to her astonishment they looked nothing like the beatles.

She went to the parlor and the tattoo artist disagreed. They then decided to get
a third opinion. They then found a drunk on the street and brought him in. He
then proceeded to ask the drunk if the tattoo on the right looked like John
Lennon.

The drunk replied, "I dunno". How about the one on the left, Paul McCartney. "I
dunno" he said. "But the one in the middle with the big long beard and the bad
breath sure does look like Willie Nelson."






Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 11:22:39 -0800

--------
On Mon, 29 Nov 2004 16:47:50 GMT, SubGenius Spice
wrote:

>In alt.slack, Zapanaz was all like...
>
>:: NO I mean like if coffee is good and espresso is even better then you
>:: need something to make your coffee even more press on teh run.
>
>why not just eat the grounds out of the can with a spoon.

well nobody would pay 5 bucks for that.

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
HONK IF YOU'RE ONTOLOGICALLY ALIENATED



Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 20:04:41 GMT

--------
Zapanaz wrote:
> On Mon, 29 Nov 2004 16:47:50 GMT, SubGenius Spice
> wrote:
>
>>In alt.slack, Zapanaz was all like...
>>
>>:: NO I mean like if coffee is good and espresso is even better then you
>>:: need something to make your coffee even more press on teh run.
>>
>>why not just eat the grounds out of the can with a spoon.
>
> well nobody would pay 5 bucks for that.

Not without a serious marketing campaign, anyway.


Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 21:00:42 GMT

--------
In article ,
Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
> Zapanaz wrote:
> > On Mon, 29 Nov 2004 16:47:50 GMT, SubGenius Spice
> > wrote:
> >>In alt.slack, Zapanaz was all like...
> >>
> >>:: NO I mean like if coffee is good and espresso is even better then you
> >>:: need something to make your coffee even more press on teh run.
> >>
> >>why not just eat the grounds out of the can with a spoon.
> >
> > well nobody would pay 5 bucks for that.
>
> Not without a serious marketing campaign, anyway.

The trick is this: if you only charge $5 per, you'll get nowhere.
People will think "low-quality" more than "bargain."

If you charge $25 or even, say, $30 for your scam, they'll LINE UP for
a bite of your claims of minor medical cures, increased ambient good
luck, salvation and tail. People equate price with value, so up that
fee, up yer numbers and up yer flues, you shifty bastards. Milk the
monkeys until that golden money-honey drips from your lower lip like the
drool of a schizo with a fresh snootful of Prolixin. I am going to Hell
for my metaphors.

--

HellPope Huey
Religion is like dropping sea urchins in your pants
and then trying to convince others
that they should do it too, because its "good."
Oh, SHUT UP.

The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
- Mark Twain

"Smoking and drinking go together,
like porn and nachos."
- "The Oblongs"


Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 21:13:47 GMT

--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
> In article ,
> Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>> Zapanaz wrote:
>> > On Mon, 29 Nov 2004 16:47:50 GMT, SubGenius Spice
>> > wrote:
>> >>In alt.slack, Zapanaz was all like...
>> >>
>> >>:: NO I mean like if coffee is good and espresso is even better then you
>> >>:: need something to make your coffee even more press on teh run.
>> >>
>> >>why not just eat the grounds out of the can with a spoon.
>> >
>> > well nobody would pay 5 bucks for that.
>>
>> Not without a serious marketing campaign, anyway.
>
> The trick is this: if you only charge $5 per, you'll get nowhere.
> People will think "low-quality" more than "bargain."
>
> If you charge $25 or even, say, $30 for your scam, they'll LINE UP for
> a bite of your claims of minor medical cures, increased ambient good
> luck, salvation and tail. People equate price with value, so up that
> fee, up yer numbers and up yer flues, you shifty bastards. Milk the
> monkeys until that golden money-honey drips from your lower lip like the
> drool of a schizo with a fresh snootful of Prolixin. I am going to Hell
> for my metaphors.

If you can go to Hell for metaphors, the authors of the books of the
Bible are all frying.


Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 15:04:47 -0800

--------
Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>
> HellPope Huey wrote:
> > I am going to Hell
> > for my metaphors.
>
> If you can go to Hell for metaphors, the authors of the books of the
> Bible are all frying.

I think he meant that's where he gets them.


Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 23:21:34 GMT

--------
In article <41ABAB0E.B1EB4A60@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:
> Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
> > HellPope Huey wrote:

> > > I am going to Hell
> > > for my metaphors.
> >
> > If you can go to Hell for metaphors, the authors of the books of the
> > Bible are all frying.
>
> I think he meant that's where he gets them.

An' dey smells jist like CHICKEN, b'wana!

--

HellPope Huey
Religion is like dropping sea urchins in your pants
and then trying to convince others
that they should do it too, because its "good."
Oh, SHUT UP.

The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
- Mark Twain

"Smoking and drinking go together,
like porn and nachos."
- "The Oblongs"


Correspondent:: SubGenius Spice
Date: Tue, 30 Nov 2004 15:53:24 GMT

--------
In alt.slack, Cardinal Vertigo was all like...

:: If you can go to Hell for metaphors, the authors of the books of the
:: Bible are all frying.

i think they were frying when they wrote them.

http://www.shamanshop.net/mushrooms4.htm


Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Tue, 30 Nov 2004 16:08:01 GMT

--------


SubGenius Spice wrote:

> In alt.slack, Cardinal Vertigo was all like...
>
> :: If you can go to Hell for metaphors, the authors of the books of the
> :: Bible are all frying.
>
> i think they were frying when they wrote them.
>
> http://www.shamanshop.net/mushrooms4.htm

The Amanita muscaria grows around here, too.
I pick them and string the caps on a thread to dry,
then build a small fire for coals, and break a cap
into quarters, drop on coals and inhale. In Mexico,
Luis made a big point of telling me that Aminita muscaria
means that the flies love them, and indeed the flies landed
on the 'shrooms and died!

Between Mexico City and Cuernavaca in the hills, I found
a small pool of water surrounded by some small brown mushrooms
that were good.

Also, here, even when it is freezing cold, which seems to be the best
time for this kind, there is a small brown mushroom with a purple spot
on the center of the cap which grows on fallen trees.

Do not eat the big white ones, Death's Cup. They have a hemotoxin
similar to rattlesnake venom, but there is no known antidote. The buzz
isn't too bad, but it causes extreme muscle pain.





Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Tue, 30 Nov 2004 17:27:20 GMT

--------
In article <41AC9AE0.34474984@ranunculus.org>,
Konig Pruss, GfbAEV wrote:

> The buzz isn't too bad, but it causes extreme muscle pain.

Oddly enough, this is one of my definitions of Life.

--

HellPope Huey ~ www.subgenius.com
SubGenius approval is a mercurial thing of suspect merit
and like expecting to get all of your nutritional needs
from just Sugar Frosted Flakes, likely to lead to scurvy.

"Its funny because its poison!"
- "Futurama"

"I am a turkey. Kill me."
- "Addams Family Values"


Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Tue, 30 Nov 2004 16:37:12 GMT

--------
SubGenius Spice wrote:
> In alt.slack, Cardinal Vertigo was all like...
>
> :: If you can go to Hell for metaphors, the authors of the books of the
> :: Bible are all frying.
>
> i think they were frying when they wrote them.
>
> http://www.shamanshop.net/mushrooms4.htm

And the Scribe wasn't, when he was given the word of "Bob?" C'mon.


Correspondent:: Artemia Salina
Date: Fri, 26 Nov 2004 13:44:06 -0500

--------
On Fri, 26 Nov 2004 17:08:55 +0000, SubGenius Spice wrote:

>
> usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?

I don't know, that's a tough choice. I think I'd go with the USB
christmas tree if it could be hacked. I wonder what undocumented
features a christmas tree might have and what the cheat codes might
be?

I'd like to see a USB fiber optic christmas tree that you could upload
JPGs to so that each pixel would be displayed on the fibers. Think of
the skins you could make for it!

--
0:-) 0:-) 0:-) 0:-) (-:0 (-:0 (-:0 (-:0
0:-) Artemia Salina (-:0
0:-) Surrounded by Angels (-:0
0:-) 0:-) 0:-) 0:-) (-:0 (-:0 (-:0 (-:0



Correspondent:: "BEN"
Date: Sat, 27 Nov 2004 20:28:17 +1100

--------

"Artemia Salina" wrote in message
news:pan.2004.11.26.18.44.05.586217@sheayright.com...

> I'd like to see a USB fiber optic christmas tree that you could upload
> JPGs to so that each pixel would be displayed on the fibers. Think of
> the skins you could make for it!

thats the coolest idea since satan invented bingo.


hochihochihochihochihochihochihochihochi
ho chi ho chi zen is in da house!




Correspondent:: SubGenius Spice
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 2004 15:50:06 GMT

--------
In alt.slack, Artemia Salina was all like...

:: On Fri, 26 Nov 2004 17:08:55 +0000, SubGenius Spice wrote:
::
:: >
:: > usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?
::
:: I don't know, that's a tough choice. I think I'd go with the USB
:: christmas tree if it could be hacked. I wonder what undocumented
:: features a christmas tree might have and what the cheat codes might
:: be?

the ones i've seen just use usb as a power source.


:: I'd like to see a USB fiber optic christmas tree that you could upload
:: JPGs to so that each pixel would be displayed on the fibers. Think of
:: the skins you could make for it!

i would give my left nut for something like that!


Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Fri, 26 Nov 2004 12:22:27 -0800

--------
SubGenius Spice wrote:
>
> usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?

Black and Decker electric jar opener larger than a Braun coffeemaker, or
creme brulee set with propane browning torch?


Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Fri, 26 Nov 2004 20:53:00 GMT

--------


nenslo wrote:

> SubGenius Spice wrote:
> >
> > usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?
>
> Black and Decker electric jar opener larger than a Braun coffeemaker, or
> creme brulee set with propane browning torch?

Those creme brulee torches are great for crack!



Correspondent:: Don Radford
Date: Fri, 26 Nov 2004 21:04:04 GMT

--------
nenslo wrote:
> SubGenius Spice wrote:
>
>>usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?
>
>
> Black and Decker electric jar opener larger than a Braun coffeemaker, or
> creme brulee set with propane browning torch?

The blow torch! ALWAYS go for the blow torch!

FWOOMPH! Haahahhaaaahaaahaaaa...

--
Art and Fashion for the New Conspiracy

http://www.cafepress.com/luciddragon

the Mystical RevvedErrand Rockin' Don Radford
Certified God by the holy authority of
the White Lotus Fortune Cookie Company
June 23, 2004


Correspondent:: SubGenius Spice
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 2004 16:02:24 GMT

--------
In alt.slack, nenslo was all like...

:: SubGenius Spice wrote:
:: >
:: > usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?
::
:: Black and Decker electric jar opener larger than a Braun coffeemaker, or
:: creme brulee set with propane browning torch?

the jar opener if you do a lot of home canning or have arthritis or
carpal tunnel, although it does sound rather large. the creme brulee set
if you like setting your food on fire. the torch refills are pretty
pricey, though. for the same price or less you could probably pick up
some heat resistant ramekins, a real propane torch and a welder's mask.







Correspondent:: Frere Jean Bleu
Date: Sat, 27 Nov 2004 20:06:09 +1100

--------
On Fri, 26 Nov 2004 17:08:55 GMT, SubGenius Spice
wrote:

>
>usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?
>
>
>

I want one of these.

http://www.pccasegear.com/prod993.htm

Fr J B




Correspondent:: SubGenius Spice
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 2004 16:05:05 GMT

--------
In alt.slack, Frere Jean Bleu was all like...

:: On Fri, 26 Nov 2004 17:08:55 GMT, SubGenius Spice
:: wrote:
::
:: >
:: >usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?
:: >
:: I want one of these.
::
:: http://www.pccasegear.com/prod993.htm
::

bwahahahaha. spot on!





Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 27 Nov 2004 14:14:18 GMT

--------
>usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?
>

usb powered Flame Thrower!

Smite them Pinks while you surf the net!


MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"

Charles E. Montague


Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Sat, 27 Nov 2004 09:04:37 -0800

--------
In article ,
SubGenius Spice wrote:

> usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?

get one of these instead. you can't go wrong with the SD70ACe:
http://www.gmemd.com/en/locomotive/na_freight/sd70ace/index.htm

pb


Correspondent:: "Paul E. Jamison"
Date: Sat, 27 Nov 2004 21:14:32 -0600

--------
"polar bear" wrote in message
news:271120040904378012%bear@pole.com...
> In article ,
> SubGenius Spice wrote:
>
> > usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?
>
> get one of these instead. you can't go wrong with the SD70ACe:
> http://www.gmemd.com/en/locomotive/na_freight/sd70ace/index.htm
>
Nice, but they don't list a price. Think they'll take Paypal?

Paul




Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 28 Nov 2004 18:59:19 GMT

--------
>"polar bear" wrote in message
>news:271120040904378012%bear@pole.com...
>> In article ,
>> SubGenius Spice wrote:
>>
>> > usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?
>>
>> get one of these instead. you can't go wrong with the SD70ACe:
>> http://www.gmemd.com/en/locomotive/na_freight/sd70ace/index.htm
>>
>Nice, but they don't list a price. Think they'll take Paypal?
>
>Paul
>
>
>

Sure make that guy down the street with the HUMMER feel inadequate.

"Yo! Mines waaaaaay Bigger then yours!"

"What? Only 300HP? MIne has 4500!"

"mines already a hybrid (sorta)"

"What? A HUMMER only tows 6000 pounds?"




MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"

Charles E. Montague


Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 2004 19:12:34 GMT

--------


"Rev. Richard Skull" wrote:

> >"polar bear" wrote in message
> >news:271120040904378012%bear@pole.com...
> >> In article ,
> >> SubGenius Spice wrote:
> >>
> >> > usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?
> >>
> >> get one of these instead. you can't go wrong with the SD70ACe:
> >> http://www.gmemd.com/en/locomotive/na_freight/sd70ace/index.htm
> >>
> >Nice, but they don't list a price. Think they'll take Paypal?
> >
> >Paul
> >
> >
> >
>
> Sure make that guy down the street with the HUMMER feel inadequate.
>
> "Yo! Mines waaaaaay Bigger then yours!"
>
> "What? Only 300HP? MIne has 4500!"
>
> "mines already a hybrid (sorta)"
>
> "What? A HUMMER only tows 6000 pounds?"
>
> MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
>
> "War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"
>
> Charles E. Montague

As far as horsepower, my ride is the Navy hover-landing craft.
Two 16,500 horsepower motors, can hit the beach carrying a tank
at 70-knots and keep on truckin'.

And remember, you maggot-assed jarheads;
your ass belongs to me.

Signed,
A. Swab





Correspondent:: SubGenius Spice
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 2004 16:10:36 GMT

--------
In alt.slack, polar bear was all like...

:: In article ,
:: SubGenius Spice wrote:
::
:: > usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?
::
:: get one of these instead. you can't go wrong with the SD70ACe:
:: http://www.gmemd.com/en/locomotive/na_freight/sd70ace/index.htm

" Various wireless communications packages available (Cellular, Wireless
LAN, etc) to support IntelliTrain."

cool. next, war-driving hobos.










Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 28 Nov 2004 18:57:05 GMT

--------
>> usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?
>
>get one of these instead. you can't go wrong with the SD70ACe:
>http://www.gmemd.com/en/locomotive/na_freight/sd70ace/index.htm

If you are not into General Motors vehicles there always:

https://www.getransportation.com/general/locomotives/Locomotives.asp?SMSES
SION=NO
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"

Charles E. Montague


Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 10:30:00 -0800

--------
In article <20041128135705.21692.00001170@mb-m11.aol.com>,
mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull) wrote:

> >> usb powered christmas tree or key chain sized wi fi signal locator?
> >
> >get one of these instead. you can't go wrong with the SD70ACe:
> >http://www.gmemd.com/en/locomotive/na_freight/sd70ace/index.htm
>
> If you are not into General Motors vehicles there always:
>
> https://www.getransportation.com/general/locomotives/Locomotives.asp?SMSES
> SION=NO
> MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
>
Ah yes, but do they come with zero percent financing and no money down?
(although I have to admit, that AC4400 would look good in my driveway)

pb