Gimme stem cell smoothie & I will SAVE you, you rat bastards
Correspondent:: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Date: 14 Oct 2004 21:33:32 -0700
--------
Well, I've tried everything but friggin' Scientology and "Bob" is a
smirking fraud, so maybe if I swig down a couple pints of stem cells,
they'll swim to the Bad Places, fix the distorted parts and help me to
become the very best Huey I can be. I can't draw the cells from
Arkansas cords because they're all mega-fucked inbreds around here, so
I need your help. I mean, I'm so wonderful as I AM, just THINK of how
rich I'd become if I functioned at my peak!
So here's the deal: everyone who sends me at least 2 tablespoons of
viable stem cells will be put on my Master List and as soon as I am
rich, I will send you back the $30 you WASTED on Dobbs, plus a lovely
teakwood plaque that says "I helped Huey when I screwed Satan."
I know most of you are vile and pernicious, but its a worthy cause
and I think there are JUST ENOUGH of you left who are only 87%
corrupted that I have a good shot at it while I am still corporeal. So
assist me in this great crusade and together, we can cornhole Nhee
Ghee in Our Lifetime. (This offer not open to Vertigo. I don't need no
nutria DNA; I already have plenty, just being a native Texassian.)
--
HellPope Huey
Once you've chosen Curmudgery as a primary Stoogely Art,
the Rollerball has already left the pneumatic tube
on its trek towards Society's cloaca
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
- Mae West
Women and cats will do as they please;
men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0" Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2004 21:43:58 -0700
--------
HellPopeHuey wrote:
>
> ...So here's the deal: everyone who sends me at
> least 2 tablespoons of viable stem cells will be
> put on my Master List and as soon as I am rich,
> I will send you back the $30 you WASTED on Dobbs,
> plus a lovely teakwood plaque that says "I helped
> Huey when I screwed Satan."
>
Let me get this straight.
You will give each of us $30 and a plaque if we
jerk off twice into a ziplock and mail it to you?
Shaft. I can dig it.
--
"It is already like a government job,"
he said, "but with goats."
-- Iranian goat smuggler
--------
Who's the black private dick
That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
SHAFT!
Ya damn right!
Who is the man that would risk his neck
For his brother man?
SHAFT!
Can you dig it?
Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's danger all about?
SHAFT!
Right On!
They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
I'm talkin' 'bout Shaft.
THEN WE CAN DIG IT!
He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his woman
JOHN SHAFT!
"nu-monet v7.0" wrote in message
news:416F558E.4B68@succeeds.com...
> HellPopeHuey wrote:
>>
>> ...So here's the deal: everyone who sends me at
>> least 2 tablespoons of viable stem cells will be
>> put on my Master List and as soon as I am rich,
>> I will send you back the $30 you WASTED on Dobbs,
>> plus a lovely teakwood plaque that says "I helped
>> Huey when I screwed Satan."
>>
>
> Let me get this straight.
>
> You will give each of us $30 and a plaque if we
> jerk off twice into a ziplock and mail it to you?
>
> Shaft. I can dig it.
>
> --
> "It is already like a government job,"
> he said, "but with goats."
> -- Iranian goat smuggler
Correspondent:: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Date: 15 Oct 2004 09:17:05 -0700
--------
"nu-monet v7.0" wrote in message news:<416F558E.4B68@succeeds.com>...
> HellPopeHuey wrote:
> >
> > ...So here's the deal: everyone who sends me at
> > least 2 tablespoons of viable stem cells will be
> > put on my Master List and as soon as I am rich,
> > I will send you back the $30 you WASTED on Dobbs,
> > plus a lovely teakwood plaque that says "I helped
> > Huey when I screwed Satan."
> >
> > Let me get this straight.
> > You will give each of us $30 and a plaque if we
> jerk off twice into a ziplock and mail it to you?
> > Shaft. I can dig it.
Wrong STEM, assface.
--
HellPope Huey
Worse than an Ewok with eczema
"Whaddaya got under the foil, Mr. Party Pooper?
Some party poop?"
- "King of the Hill"
In "Bob" we trust. All others pay cash --
as soon as possible and directly to me.
- Rev. AuntiKrist
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0" Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2004 09:28:27 -0700
--------
HellPopeHuey wrote:
>
> "nu-monet v7.0" worted:
> > HellPopeHuey wrote:
> > >
> > > ...So here's the deal: everyone who sends me at
> > > least 2 tablespoons of viable stem cells will be
> > > put on my Master List and as soon as I am rich,
> > > I will send you back the $30 you WASTED on Dobbs,
> > > plus a lovely teakwood plaque that says "I helped
> > > Huey when I screwed Satan."
> > >
> > > Let me get this straight.
> > > You will give each of us $30 and a plaque if we
> > jerk off twice into a ziplock and mail it to you?
> > > Shaft. I can dig it.
>
> Wrong STEM, assface.
Um.
You should be getting a package from me in a few
days. It sloshes. Just throw it away, then.
--
Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you
by the short rabbits and can now deliver you
violently to your gynecologist for a thorough
extermination.
-- Hong Kong movie subtitle
Correspondent:: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Date: 15 Oct 2004 16:43:49 -0700
--------
"nu-monet v7.0" wrote in message news:<416FFAAB.68AA@succeeds.com>...
> HellPopeHuey wrote:
I can dig it.
> >
> > Wrong STEM, assface.
>
> Um.
> You should be getting a package from me in a few
> days. It sloshes. Just throw it away, then.
That's okay, it won't go to waste. I'm making some unique Xmas
muffins for a few very SPECIAL people. Don't tell Nenslo.
--
HellPope Huey
Worse than an Ewok with eczema
"Whaddaya got under the foil, Mr. Party Pooper?
Some party poop?"
- "King of the Hill"
In "Bob" we trust. All others pay cash --
as soon as possible and directly to me.
- Rev. AuntiKrist
Correspondent:: "Paul E. Jamison" Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2004 20:40:06 -0500
--------
"HellPopeHuey" wrote in message
news:8cc8cffc.0410151543.45c590d2@posting.google.com...
> "nu-monet v7.0" wrote in message
news:<416FFAAB.68AA@succeeds.com>...
> > HellPopeHuey wrote:
> I can dig it.
> > >
> > > Wrong STEM, assface.
> >
> > Um.
> > You should be getting a package from me in a few
> > days. It sloshes. Just throw it away, then.
>
> That's okay, it won't go to waste. I'm making some unique Xmas
> muffins for a few very SPECIAL people. Don't tell Nenslo.
>
Krispy Kreme donuts. The glazing is very, *very* special.
Paul
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0" Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2004 20:28:29 -0700
--------
HellPopeHuey wrote:
>
> "nu-monet v7.0" worted:
> > HellPopeHuey wrote:
> I can dig it.
> > >
> > > Wrong STEM, assface.
> >
> > Um.
> > You should be getting a package from me in a few
> > days. It sloshes. Just throw it away, then.
>
> That's okay, it won't go to waste. I'm making some
> unique Xmas muffins for a few very SPECIAL people.
> Don't tell Nenslo.
>
Waitaminnit.
This could be something new.
Mail order do-it-yourself Bukakke!
--
"YOU BELONG TO US NOW!"
"GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS!!"
--Kino Beman, brand name
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey Date: Sat, 16 Oct 2004 15:36:46 GMT
--------
In article <4170955D.61C2@succeeds.com>,
"nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
> HellPopeHuey wrote:
>> > "nu-monet v7.0" worted:
> > > HellPopeHuey wrote:
> > I can dig it.
> > > >
> > > > Wrong STEM, assface.
> > >
> > > Um.
> > > You should be getting a package from me in a few
> > > days. It sloshes. Just throw it away, then.
> >
> > That's okay, it won't go to waste. I'm making some
> > unique Xmas muffins for a few very SPECIAL people.
> > Don't tell Nenslo.
> >
>> Waitaminnit.
> > This could be something new.
> > Mail order do-it-yourself Bukakke!
Wouldn't it just be easier to make your own at home? With a little
dedication and some yoga time, you could learn to bend over far enough
to do your own harvesting, make a lucrative porn vid of it and use the
funds to improve your stash of baking utensils. Onward and upward and
all that, wot wot? I mean, isn't that the pioneering spirit that made
this country grate? Never mind quaint old notions of Whack-A-Mole; get
with the program and Whack-A-Prong. "Spewing for Dollars," that's my
motto.
--
HellPope Huey
Southeastern distributor of Weltshmertz Cola,
for those who prefer their bitterness straight-up
with no lemon twist
Never does the human soul appear so strong and noble
as when it foregoes revenge
and dares to forgive an injury.
- E. H. Chapin
When the dog eats the leftover pizza you're screwed.
When there's a nuclear war you're F**KED.
- Saint Joe Cosby
The Old Guard boots Bush
http://www.iconoclast-texas.com/Columns/Editorial/editorial39.htm
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0" Date: Sat, 16 Oct 2004 08:56:13 -0700
--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
>
> In article <4170955D.61C2@succeeds.com>,
> "nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
>
> > HellPopeHuey wrote:
> >> > "nu-monet v7.0" worted:
> > > > HellPopeHuey wrote:
> > > I can dig it.
> > > > >
> > > > > Wrong STEM, assface.
> > > >
> > > > Um.
> > > > You should be getting a package from me in a few
> > > > days. It sloshes. Just throw it away, then.
> > >
> > > That's okay, it won't go to waste. I'm making some
> > > unique Xmas muffins for a few very SPECIAL people.
> > > Don't tell Nenslo.
> > >
> >> Waitaminnit.
> > > This could be something new.
> > > Mail order do-it-yourself Bukakke!
>
> Wouldn't it just be easier to make your own at home? With a little
> dedication and some yoga time, you could learn to bend over far enough
> to do your own harvesting, make a lucrative porn vid of it and use the
> funds to improve your stash of baking utensils. Onward and upward and
> all that, wot wot? I mean, isn't that the pioneering spirit that made
> this country grate? Never mind quaint old notions of Whack-A-Mole; get
> with the program and Whack-A-Prong. "Spewing for Dollars," that's my
> motto.
Don't you like the idea of a "Spooge-of-the-Month Club?
It has all the elements of a fine pyramid scheme.
Say, for example, if you pound pud once, then recruit
9 of your friends to also whack off, then mail it in
to you. Then you send a half-pint of splort to Sterno,
who gets 9 other half-pints of glob from his friends,
and Nenslo gets MORE THAN A GALLON of crank stink in
the mail!
Eventually, you're at the top of the pyramid, getting
55 gallon drums full of spunk delivered by UPS on an
almost daily basis--SO MUCH THAT YOU HAVE TO KEEP IT
IN YOUR SWIMMING POOL!
And the best part of it is that the average alt.slack
poster is masturbating 30 or 40 times a day JUST FOR
YOU! And WHO CARES if their grapes have turned into
raisins?
EVERYBODY WINS!
--
"YOU BELONG TO US NOW!"
"GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS!!"
--Kino Beman, brand name
Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Sat, 16 Oct 2004 16:26:08 GMT
--------
"nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
> HellPope Huey wrote:
> >
> > In article <4170955D.61C2@succeeds.com>,
> > "nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
> >
> > > HellPopeHuey wrote:
> > >> > "nu-monet v7.0" worted:
> > > > > HellPopeHuey wrote:
> > > > I can dig it.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Wrong STEM, assface.
> > > > >
> > > > > Um.
> > > > > You should be getting a package from me in a few
> > > > > days. It sloshes. Just throw it away, then.
> > > >
> > > > That's okay, it won't go to waste. I'm making some
> > > > unique Xmas muffins for a few very SPECIAL people.
> > > > Don't tell Nenslo.
> > > >
> > >> Waitaminnit.
> > > > This could be something new.
> > > > Mail order do-it-yourself Bukakke!
> >
> > Wouldn't it just be easier to make your own at home? With a little
> > dedication and some yoga time, you could learn to bend over far enough
> > to do your own harvesting, make a lucrative porn vid of it and use the
> > funds to improve your stash of baking utensils. Onward and upward and
> > all that, wot wot? I mean, isn't that the pioneering spirit that made
> > this country grate? Never mind quaint old notions of Whack-A-Mole; get
> > with the program and Whack-A-Prong. "Spewing for Dollars," that's my
> > motto.
>
> Don't you like the idea of a "Spooge-of-the-Month Club?
> It has all the elements of a fine pyramid scheme.
>
> Say, for example, if you pound pud once, then recruit
> 9 of your friends to also whack off, then mail it in
> to you. Then you send a half-pint of splort to Sterno,
> who gets 9 other half-pints of glob from his friends,
> and Nenslo gets MORE THAN A GALLON of crank stink in
> the mail!
>
> Eventually, you're at the top of the pyramid, getting
> 55 gallon drums full of spunk delivered by UPS on an
> almost daily basis--SO MUCH THAT YOU HAVE TO KEEP IT
> IN YOUR SWIMMING POOL!
>
> And the best part of it is that the average alt.slack
> poster is masturbating 30 or 40 times a day JUST FOR
> YOU! And WHO CARES if their grapes have turned into
> raisins?
>
I dunno--
If my grapes had turned to CALIFORNIA raisins and were
dancin' around and singin' "I Heard It Thru the Grapevine"
it might be like a party in my pants!
But who's gonna clean-up after?
I'll have to hire a maid service, I guess.
Correspondent:: HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2004 12:07:01 -0500
--------
On 15 Oct 2004 09:17:05 -0700, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
(HellPopeHuey) wrote:
>"nu-monet v7.0" wrote in message news:<416F558E.4B68@succeeds.com>...
>> HellPopeHuey wrote:
>> >
>> > ...So here's the deal: everyone who sends me at
>> > least 2 tablespoons of viable stem cells will be
>> > put on my Master List and as soon as I am rich,
>> > I will send you back the $30 you WASTED on Dobbs,
>> > plus a lovely teakwood plaque that says "I helped
>> > Huey when I screwed Satan."
>> >
>> > Let me get this straight.
>> > You will give each of us $30 and a plaque if we
>> jerk off twice into a ziplock and mail it to you?
>> > Shaft. I can dig it.
>
> Wrong STEM, assface.
That's right. SubGenius embryos have pipestem cells.
These unspecialized cells have the potential to grow into footgland
cells, or third nostril cells, or yeti forebrain cells, or even frop
molecule receptor neurons.
The ramifications ofthe benefits of research into the application of
pipestem cell therapies to regrow or ENHANCE these mutations within
the SubGenius population are obvious.
All it would take is the freezing of the embryos from within the
fertilized cloaca of a single subgenius donor to make us all
superior-superior mutants.
Any voluteers?
~Salacia
Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2004 17:16:37 GMT
--------
"HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer" wrote:
> On 15 Oct 2004 09:17:05 -0700, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
> (HellPopeHuey) wrote:
>
> >"nu-monet v7.0" wrote in message news:<416F558E.4B68@succeeds.com>...
> >> HellPopeHuey wrote:
> >> >
> >> > ...So here's the deal: everyone who sends me at
> >> > least 2 tablespoons of viable stem cells will be
> >> > put on my Master List and as soon as I am rich,
> >> > I will send you back the $30 you WASTED on Dobbs,
> >> > plus a lovely teakwood plaque that says "I helped
> >> > Huey when I screwed Satan."
> >> >
> >> > Let me get this straight.
> >> > You will give each of us $30 and a plaque if we
> >> jerk off twice into a ziplock and mail it to you?
> >> > Shaft. I can dig it.
> >
> > Wrong STEM, assface.
>
> That's right. SubGenius embryos have pipestem cells.
>
> These unspecialized cells have the potential to grow into footgland
> cells, or third nostril cells, or yeti forebrain cells, or even frop
> molecule receptor neurons.
>
> The ramifications ofthe benefits of research into the application of
> pipestem cell therapies to regrow or ENHANCE these mutations within
> the SubGenius population are obvious.
>
> All it would take is the freezing of the embryos from within the
> fertilized cloaca of a single subgenius donor to make us all
> superior-superior mutants.
>
> Any voluteers?
>
> ~Salacia
No, but I feel a song coming on!
"Give me a stem-cell slurpee
And I will save the Wooooorld!
(ta-ta-da-da-da)
Give me a stem-cell slurpee
Just like the one I hurled!"
__
"People pretending to be superior just makes it so much harder for those of us who really are."
-- Hyacinth Bucket, Keeping Up Appearances
Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.com (AssCo Assc)
Date: 17 Oct 2004 00:30:26 GMT
--------
<< > ...So here's the deal: everyone who sends me at
> least 2 tablespoons of viable stem cells will be
> put on my Master List and as soon as I am rich,
> I will send you back the $30 you WASTED on Dobbs,
> plus a lovely teakwood plaque that says "I helped
> Huey when I screwed Satan."
>
>>Let me get this straight.
>>You will give each of us $30 and a plaque if we
>>jerk off twice into a ziplock and mail it to you?
He said STEM cells -- not SPERM cells!
Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2004 08:14:49 GMT
--------
HellPopeHuey wrote:
> Well, I've tried everything but friggin' Scientology and "Bob" is a
> smirking fraud, so maybe if I swig down a couple pints of stem cells,
> they'll swim to the Bad Places, fix the distorted parts and help me to
> become the very best Huey I can be. I can't draw the cells from
> Arkansas cords because they're all mega-fucked inbreds around here, so
> I need your help. I mean, I'm so wonderful as I AM, just THINK of how
> rich I'd become if I functioned at my peak!
>
> So here's the deal: everyone who sends me at least 2 tablespoons of
> viable stem cells will be put on my Master List and as soon as I am
> rich, I will send you back the $30 you WASTED on Dobbs, plus a lovely
> teakwood plaque that says "I helped Huey when I screwed Satan."
>
> I know most of you are vile and pernicious, but its a worthy cause
> and I think there are JUST ENOUGH of you left who are only 87%
> corrupted that I have a good shot at it while I am still corporeal. So
> assist me in this great crusade and together, we can cornhole Nhee
> Ghee in Our Lifetime. (This offer not open to Vertigo. I don't need no
> nutria DNA; I already have plenty, just being a native Texassian.)
No need to worry. Stem cells from fine H. superioris specimens such as
myself can fetch up to $50 million a load on the international black
market. I doubt you've got the funding to finance an extraction.
Correspondent:: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Date: 15 Oct 2004 09:16:06 -0700
--------
Cardinal Vertigo wrote in message news:...
> No need to worry. Stem cells from fine H. superioris specimens such as
> myself can fetch up to $50 million a load on the international black
> market. I doubt you've got the funding to finance an extraction.
Liar. If that was true, you wouldn't just be driving a 4-year-old
Saturn with a leaky wet bar.
--
HellPope Huey
Worse than an Ewok with eczema
"Whaddaya got under the foil, Mr. Party Pooper?
Some party poop?"
- "King of the Hill"
In "Bob" we trust. All others pay cash --
as soon as possible and directly to me.
- Rev. AuntiKrist
Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2004 17:00:27 GMT
--------
HellPopeHuey wrote:
> Cardinal Vertigo wrote in message news:...
>
>> No need to worry. Stem cells from fine H. superioris specimens such as
>> myself can fetch up to $50 million a load on the international black
>> market. I doubt you've got the funding to finance an extraction.
>
> Liar. If that was true, you wouldn't just be driving a 4-year-old
> Saturn with a leaky wet bar.
I choose to live simply, without chasing expensive luxuries such as cars
with non-leaky wet bars.
As long as you can mix a killer vodka stinger at 120 MPH, who cares
about a few little leaks?
Correspondent:: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Date: 17 Oct 2004 09:55:23 -0700
--------
Cardinal Vertigo wrote in message news:...
> As long as you can mix a killer vodka stinger at 120 MPH, who cares
> about a few little leaks?
Nixon, Kenneth Lay, the President and and and and Mrs. Cosby as she
tapes up Joe's urine collection bag, yeah, urine bag, time for Judge
Wapner.
--
HellPope Huey ~ www.subgenius.com
This church is like watching a 450-pound black waitress
breakdance nude in a wading pool filled with Crisco.
"Kerry works a crowd the same way
Frankenstein's monster worked villagers."
- Nick Gillespie
GLOBULAR WARMING IS HERE. IT'S THE DAY
AFTER THE DAY AFTER! YOU'RE NEXT! YOU'RE NEXT!
- Rev. Unclaimed Mysteries