Correspondent:: Zapanaz Date: Thu, 21 Oct 2004 00:54:07 -0700
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Is it not better for a man that he lose the world and than to lose his
soul? Is it not better yet that he get both and order out for pizza?
For yea, the angels have spoken to me, and they have nothing against
pizza. It does not profiteth a man that he should cut off his nose to
spite his face. Yea, it is fairly stupid that he should cut off his
nose in the best of circumstances.
Fro They have spoken to me! And they say they are not punishing
spirits and it is not meet that you should suffer in guilt and shame
for your sins, isn't that your mom's job? They are loving and kind
and want only what is best for us. When they allow misfortune into
our lives, it is not to punish us, but because they get a little bored
sometimes. For yea, as it is written in the book of Ecclesiectomies:
"If we cannot laugh at the misfortunes of others, what can we laugh
at?" Can I get a Praise "Bob"?
Great shall be the reward of they who smirk in Heaven, for is not to
smirk a joy unto "Bob"? If this is so, how great shall be the reward
of those who chortle under their breath? Consider not the woes of
tomorrow, for will all your worry make tomorrow come one day later?
Nay, for tomorrow cometh, like a trainload of bowling balls, and we
are truly fucked.
The Day of Woe do cometh, and shall not cometh one day later, and it
shall be a hard day for all, pink and Subgenius alike. For the pink
shall be flayed alive and his very flesh shall be boiled from his
bones as he screams in endless agonies, and the Subgenius shall have
to get up at 7 am, which really sucks for our kind.
So I say to you, gird your loins! Belay that ballast! The end is
nigh, and the pizza driver got lost on the way! I speak in parables,
let he who has ears to hear, listen! Let he who has a nose to smell,
cut it off! Cast off your rainments and dance in joy, for you really
look good naked, your girlfriend is just too picky! Today is the
first day of the rest of your life! Have a nice day! Don't worry, be
happy!
And at the end of time, your reward shall be great! "Bob" shall smile
on you, and put his hand on your knee, although it will make you feel
a little icky, especially when he starts rubbing. But trust in "Bob"!
Though the small minded and jealous shall accuse him and slander him,
the lawyers of "Bob" are mighty indeed and the charges were dismissed!
"Bob" is your only true friend. All those others are against you.
Would you like a flower? I have a pamphlet here I bet someone like
YOU could really get something out of.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
I don't have any great spoilers for Star Wars Episode 2 yet because so
far in the movie, I haven't seen anything that would surprise anyone.
- The Rev. Ivan Stang
Correspondent:: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Date: 21 Oct 2004 08:41:49 -0700
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Joe pours cough syrup into his cappucinos. Quite a lot of it, too, apparently.
--
HellPope Huey ~ www.subgenius.com
I'm pretty much out of my damned mind
and I approve this message.
"Change comes in excruciating increments
for those who want it."
- "The West Wing"
"C'mon,
those moles aren't gonna whack themselves!"
- "King of the Hill"
Correspondent:: Zapanaz Date: Thu, 21 Oct 2004 11:31:56 -0700
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On 21 Oct 2004 08:41:49 -0700, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
(HellPopeHuey) wrote:
>Joe pours cough syrup into his cappucinos. Quite a lot of it, too, apparently.
The spirits are in me
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"Now, now my good man. It's no time to make enemies"
-Voltaire, on his deathbed, in response to a priest asking him to renounce Satan.
Correspondent:: "ArWeGod" Date: Fri, 22 Oct 2004 07:56:58 GMT
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"Zapanaz" wrote in message
news:1gpen01sil3ic8rvm51r8b5ariemtbphfq@4ax.com...
>
You say:
> It does not profiteth a man that he should cut off his nose to
> spite his face. Yea, it is fairly stupid that he should cut off his
> nose in the best of circumstances.
And then your say this:
> So I say to you, gird your loins! Belay that ballast! The end is
> nigh, and the pizza driver got lost on the way! I speak in parables,
And you further spake thusly:
> Let he who has a nose to smell,
> cut it off!
And finally sayth thee:
> Would you like a flower? I have a pamphlet here I bet someone like
> YOU could really get something out of.
Yet to what purpose the FLOWER when the Pizza has arrived late, and
cold. And somewhat soggy - I TOLD you that having fresh tomatoes on a
pizza is strictly for in-house dining. A delivery pizza MUST NEVER HAVE
TOMATOES. It makes the pizza subtle and quick to anger.
--
ArWeSoggy
Correspondent:: Zapanaz Date: Fri, 22 Oct 2004 09:29:15 -0700
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On Fri, 22 Oct 2004 07:56:58 GMT, "ArWeGod"
wrote:
>
>"Zapanaz" wrote in message
>news:1gpen01sil3ic8rvm51r8b5ariemtbphfq@4ax.com...
>>
>
>You say:
>> It does not profiteth a man that he should cut off his nose to
>> spite his face. Yea, it is fairly stupid that he should cut off his
>> nose in the best of circumstances.
>
>And then your say this:
>> So I say to you, gird your loins! Belay that ballast! The end is
>> nigh, and the pizza driver got lost on the way! I speak in parables,
>
>And you further spake thusly:
>
>> Let he who has a nose to smell,
>> cut it off!
>
>And finally sayth thee:
>> Would you like a flower? I have a pamphlet here I bet someone like
>> YOU could really get something out of.
>
>Yet to what purpose the FLOWER when the Pizza has arrived late, and
>cold. And somewhat soggy - I TOLD you that having fresh tomatoes on a
>pizza is strictly for in-house dining. A delivery pizza MUST NEVER HAVE
>TOMATOES. It makes the pizza subtle and quick to anger.
I thought the pizza was a metaphor?
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"Being well-informed is but a stone's throw from being boring - and
stones will be thrown"
- Quentin Crisp