Kerry vs. Burned out Light Bulb

Correspondent:: "iDRMRSR"
Date: Mon, 18 Oct 2004 20:43:43 -0400

--------
Kerry's plan to address a burned out lightbulb:

1. Lay the blame for the disaster in the Bush camp.
2. Convene a multilateral, international coalition to assemble a volunteer
force to sanction the lamp and secure the lamp perimeter according to UN
decree.
3. Simultaneously raise the taxes of those with incomes over $200,000 a
year to fund a replacement bulb. Use the excess funds to ensure future bulb
purchases for the middle class.
4. Convene an international task force to consider the environmental
implications of allowing a free release of photons and heat to escape from
the lamp area.
5. Consider the fact that continued usage of lamps exposes us to further
reliance on foreign energy sources, and that bulb waste disposal is a
significant threat to the global ecology.
6. In the end, convince everybody that it is sounder to sit in the dark,
proclaiming:

"Rather than change the light bulb, it is WE who must change!"

[*]
-----




Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Mon, 18 Oct 2004 19:03:50 -0700

--------
On Mon, 18 Oct 2004 20:43:43 -0400, "iDRMRSR"
wrote:

>Kerry's plan to address a burned out lightbulb:
>
>1. Lay the blame for the disaster in the Bush camp.
>2. Convene a multilateral, international coalition to assemble a volunteer
>force to sanction the lamp and secure the lamp perimeter according to UN
>decree.
>3. Simultaneously raise the taxes of those with incomes over $200,000 a
>year to fund a replacement bulb. Use the excess funds to ensure future bulb
>purchases for the middle class.
>4. Convene an international task force to consider the environmental
>implications of allowing a free release of photons and heat to escape from
>the lamp area.
>5. Consider the fact that continued usage of lamps exposes us to further
>reliance on foreign energy sources, and that bulb waste disposal is a
>significant threat to the global ecology.
>6. In the end, convince everybody that it is sounder to sit in the dark,
>proclaiming:
>
>"Rather than change the light bulb, it is WE who must change!"
>
>[*]
>-----
>

Bush's plan to address a burned out light bulb:

1. Send in the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines. The CIA say that
this light bulb's extinction was directly the result of TERRORISTS.
Well what they said specifically if you want to belabor the details
was "the light bulb burning out had absolutely nothing whatsoever to
do with terrorism in any way, shape or form" and a commision of
international experts agreed, but General Electric is a TYRANNY. They
are ruled by some kind of despot called a "president" and I heard once
from THIS ONE GUY that they one time strip searched someone. The
employees of General Electric will hail us as god-like liberators if
we invade. Aw fuck it, I gotta invade SOMETHING. I got this whole
ARMY. They'll do whatever the fuck I tell them.

2. Go to congress and demand 200 billion trillion gazillion bajoogle
zillion million dollars for the invasion of General Electric (note:
get someone to help me with the math, I don't think those are real
numbers). Phrase the request in such a way that they will look like a
bunch of twisted anarchist unamerican grandmother-rapers if they say
no.

3. In order to offset the billion trillion gazillion bajoogle zillion
million dollar expense, lower taxes for the rich.

4. Inade some place in the middle east to draw attention away from
the fact that I seem to have made a little math error again in part 3




--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
>When a dog or a cat lick you, it's usually to get some nasty
>taste out of their mouths. When a woman licks you, it it
>often for another reason.

When I lick myself, it's usually just a little reward for a job well
done.



Correspondent:: "iDRMRSR"
Date: Mon, 18 Oct 2004 23:53:30 -0400

--------
Zapanaz:

>>snip<<

After carefully reading my post and your answer to my post, it suddenly
occurred to me that UNFORTUNATELY...

We are BOTH right.

[*]
-----




Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Mon, 18 Oct 2004 21:46:32 -0700

--------
On Mon, 18 Oct 2004 23:53:30 -0400, "iDRMRSR"
wrote:

>Zapanaz:
>
>>>snip<<
>
>After carefully reading my post and your answer to my post, it suddenly
>occurred to me that UNFORTUNATELY...
>
>We are BOTH right.
>
>[*]
>-----
>

that's some fucked-up shit, isn't it?


I'm trying to get myself worked up into a state of indignation for the
2008 election. No need to wait for the last minute.

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
I like my women same as I like my coffee...

...

...

anally.

--
Field Marshall Slack



Correspondent:: crgr
Date: 19 Oct 2004 19:36:08 GMT

--------
Zapanaz wrote in
news:tu69n09flf90ps0rul1nsj8kdpe3eku4hj@4ax.com:

> I'm trying to get myself worked up into a state of indignation for the
> 2008 election. No need to wait for the last minute.
>
>
Elect Not-Jenna in 2012, freedom-hatexorZ1111


Correspondent:: crgr
Date: 19 Oct 2004 19:53:46 GMT

--------
"iDRMRSR" wrote in
news:rcSdncTd8_Ld_uncRVn-tg@giganews.com:

> Kerry's plan to address a burned out lightbulb:
> 1. Lay the blame for the disaster in the Bush camp.

Bush's "plan":

1. The light went out on Bill Clinton's watch!!! Did so!!! Did so!!!

> 2. Convene a multilateral, international coalition to assemble a
> volunteer force to sanction the lamp and secure the lamp perimeter
> according to UN decree.

2. Convene a sooper-sekrit meeting of your (transnational) CEO buddies and,
this is important, DON'T TELL NO BODY!!! Then just do what Prince Bandar
wants you to do.

> 3. Simultaneously raise the taxes of those with incomes over $200,000
> a year to fund a replacement bulb. Use the excess funds to ensure
> future bulb purchases for the middle class.

3. Borrow 1.3 trillion dollars from the Japanese, call it a "tax cut" and
give 1.2 trillion of it to your CEO buddies. In your campaign ads, tell the
wage slaves that they are "overpaid".

> 4. Convene an international task force to consider the environmental
> implications of allowing a free release of photons and heat to escape
> from the lamp area.

4. Make a lot of jokes about the French and cheese as though cheese were an
alien substance in Unistat.

> 5. Consider the fact that continued usage of lamps exposes us to
> further reliance on foreign energy sources, and that bulb waste
> disposal is a significant threat to the global ecology.

5. Make up a crackpot theory about "abiotic" oil and do nothing to find a
new fuel as the market fills up with high-sulfur, useless tar and the
light, sweet crude goes to $75 a barrel. Buy everyone a Navigator (see
Section 179 and don't forget Form 4562).

> 6. In the end, convince everybody that it is sounder to sit in the
> dark, proclaiming:
>
> "Rather than change the light bulb, it is WE who must change!"

6. Convince everybody that anyone who says there may be one or two
important things may have been overlooked is advocating mandatory gay
marriage of innocent unborn stem cells or whatever.