Reflections on a Tartar Sauce Bottle

Correspondent:: "iDRMRSR"
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 20:14:44 -0400

--------
For some inexplicable reason, little iDRMRSR is enamored of Mrs. T's
pierogis and Gorton's crunchy fish filets...only if they are well smeared
with Kraft Tartar Sauce. I cook him that every other Saturday that he is
with me, hamburgers on the intermediary Saturday's. It's been going on
month after month like this. Autistics are wise, they hate change, even
down to the specific brands of products.

As I was slathering on the tartar sauce, I noticed the "best by" date
stamped on the bottom of this just purchased bottle. APR2005.

It suddenly dawned on me that here it is the late end of October, 2004, and
yup, here in Cleveland, the weather won't be decent again until precisely
APR2005. Six months. Six FUCKING MONTHS of Eastern Standard Time with
getting home at 6 PM and it being pitch dark. Six months of long sleeved
shirts, leather jackets, gloves, and astronomical heating bills.

Six months of tartar sauce.

It's no wonder that I get up each day, not necessarily in the morning
either, and think to myself, why bother. It's not like gas is going to get
materially cheaper or drugs will be given away for nothing.

Six months of tartar sauce. EAT THE HELL OUT OF THAT!

[*]
-----




Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004 00:52:18 GMT

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iDRMRSR wrote:
> It suddenly dawned on me that here it is the late end of October, 2004, and
> yup, here in Cleveland, the weather won't be decent again until precisely
> APR2005. Six months. Six FUCKING MONTHS of Eastern Standard Time with
> getting home at 6 PM and it being pitch dark. Six months of long sleeved
> shirts, leather jackets, gloves, and astronomical heating bills.
>
> Six months of tartar sauce.
>
> It's no wonder that I get up each day, not necessarily in the morning
> either, and think to myself, why bother. It's not like gas is going to get
> materially cheaper or drugs will be given away for nothing.
>
> Six months of tartar sauce. EAT THE HELL OUT OF THAT!

Let it sit out. It'll expire faster.


Correspondent:: Priestess Pisces
Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004 01:05:41 GMT

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Cardinal Vertigo wrote in
news:67Yed.16062$5b1.5515@newssvr17.news.prodigy.com:

> iDRMRSR wrote:
>> It suddenly dawned on me that here it is the late end of October,
>> 2004, and yup, here in Cleveland, the weather won't be decent again
>> until precisely APR2005. Six months. Six FUCKING MONTHS of Eastern
>> Standard Time with getting home at 6 PM and it being pitch dark. Six
>> months of long sleeved shirts, leather jackets, gloves, and
>> astronomical heating bills.
>>
>> Six months of tartar sauce.
>>
>> It's no wonder that I get up each day, not necessarily in the morning
>> either, and think to myself, why bother. It's not like gas is going
>> to get materially cheaper or drugs will be given away for nothing.
>>
>> Six months of tartar sauce. EAT THE HELL OUT OF THAT!
>
> Let it sit out. It'll expire faster.
>

I think Cleveland expired long ago, I mean have you smelled it lately?!
If Cleveland was in my fridge it certainly wouldnt pass the smell test.

... of course if any of yall saw Atlanta walking on the side of the road
you would pull your gun and out and shoot the poor thing. Best to put it
out of its misery.

-pisces


Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 18:22:15 -0700

--------
iDRMRSR wrote:
>
> For some inexplicable reason, little iDRMRSR
> is enamored of Mrs. T's pierogis and Gorton's
> crunchy fish filets...only if they are well
> smeared with Kraft Tartar Sauce.

Kraft does *something* to their food to make you
not want other versions of the same thing.

Their tartar sauce is one, and so is their mac
and cheese "original", with the crumbly dry cheese
stuff in the foil package that you're *supposed*
to mix with milk and butter but NOBODY EVER DOES.

But back to the tartar sauce. You know what
"cream of tartar" is? It's an acidic powder that
is a by-product of wine making. Very odd stuff.
Mostly used to stiffen and maintain whipped egg
whites for merangue and other stuff they don't
really mention on the label.

THERE IS *NO* CREAM OF TARTAR IN TARTAR SAUCE!

Oh, maybe there *used* to be. Maybe back when
food was good for you and was made of healthful
stuff, *everybody* could have eaten tartar sauce
made with cream of tartar. But now, I bet, only
RICH people get tartar sauce with REAL cream of
tartar in it. Everybody else just does without.

Why? Perhaps it's because cream of tartar has
some secret property that the rich people don't
want to share with the hoi-polloi.

But there's the problem. You just can't GET
cream of tartar anywhere. And the secret would
get out of rich people carried around their own
personal containers of cream of tartar. So they
probably agreed that a single, nationwide brand
would have *just enough* cream of tartar so that
they could have their fix, but NOT enough for
anyone else to get THE effect from it.

But it ends up making Kraft tartar sauce taste
like the ONLY tartar sauce you want to eat after
you have tasted it even ONCE!

And the same with Kraft mac & cheese. But only
the original kind. The other kinds just taste
ucky.


--
I don't know what you're talking about.
I've never met you before in my life.
That story sounds like utter bullshit.
I wasn't there and it wasn't me.
I am *not* in denial. Shut up.
--nu-monet


Correspondent:: "ghost"
Date: Mon, 25 Oct 2004 01:48:54 GMT

--------

"nu-monet v7.0" wrote in message
news:417C5547.2A25@succeeds.com...
> iDRMRSR wrote:
> >
> > For some inexplicable reason, little iDRMRSR
> > is enamored of Mrs. T's pierogis and Gorton's
> > crunchy fish filets...only if they are well
> > smeared with Kraft Tartar Sauce.
>
> Kraft does *something* to their food to make you
> not want other versions of the same thing.
>
> Their tartar sauce is one, and so is their mac
> and cheese "original", with the crumbly dry cheese
> stuff in the foil package that you're *supposed*
> to mix with milk and butter but NOBODY EVER DOES.
>
> But back to the tartar sauce. You know what
> "cream of tartar" is? It's an acidic powder that
> is a by-product of wine making. Very odd stuff.
> Mostly used to stiffen and maintain whipped egg
> whites for merangue and other stuff they don't
> really mention on the label.
>
> THERE IS *NO* CREAM OF TARTAR IN TARTAR SAUCE!
>
> Oh, maybe there *used* to be. Maybe back when
> food was good for you and was made of healthful
> stuff, *everybody* could have eaten tartar sauce
> made with cream of tartar. But now, I bet, only
> RICH people get tartar sauce with REAL cream of
> tartar in it. Everybody else just does without.
>
> Why? Perhaps it's because cream of tartar has
> some secret property that the rich people don't
> want to share with the hoi-polloi.
>
> But there's the problem. You just can't GET
> cream of tartar anywhere. And the secret would
> get out of rich people carried around their own
> personal containers of cream of tartar. So they
> probably agreed that a single, nationwide brand
> would have *just enough* cream of tartar so that
> they could have their fix, but NOT enough for
> anyone else to get THE effect from it.
>
> But it ends up making Kraft tartar sauce taste
> like the ONLY tartar sauce you want to eat after
> you have tasted it even ONCE!

(snip)

"Tartare sauce (also known as tartar sauce) is a thick white sauce made with
mayonnaise and finely chopped vegetables (usually including pickled gherkins
and capers) which is frequently used to season fish and chips.
Not to be confused with cream of tartar."

"Why is this recipe called tartar sauce? And when was it first referred to a
such? This is hard to say. ... Beef Tartare--finely minced lean raw
beef--became fashionable in France in the nineteenth century. It was named
for the Tartars (Originally "Tatars") or Mongols who had terrorized eastern
Europe in the days of Gengis Kahn....Beef Tartare was usually served as it
is now, with a bevy of garnishes, including a piquant sauce with a
mayonnaise base that came to be called sauce Tartare or Tartar Sauce. Today,
at least in the United States, it is more often served with fish."




Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.com (AssCo Assc)
Date: 26 Oct 2004 17:45:41 GMT

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<< "Not to be confused with cream of tartar." >>

Or that white shit on your teeth.