dueling buffoons
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Mon, 11 Oct 2004 20:49:07 -0700
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http://www.laserp.com/dueling_banjos.htm
Bush and Kerry are coming to Tempe.
Tempe, Arizona. Currently home to Arizona State
University. Also the largest gateway to the pit
of blackness wherein dwells Cthulu. Cursed by
wretched, poor, extinct, Hohokam Indians who dug
canals from the stagnant and mosquito-infested,
disease-ridden Salt River with their bare hands
to eke out a rotten existence in praise of their
Lord Cthulu, its city hall is an upside-down
pyramid, which acts like a spiritual cork, using
its pyramid power to give Cthulu nightmares, like
giving a speech naked to his high school graduating
class.
Located between the dog-raising lesbian witches of
Tucson and the Hellraiser-like Harmonic Convergence
of Sedona, Tempe is the perfect place to go stark
raving mad, in a lethargic sort of way. Stoicism
is the order of the day, be it to the soon-to-be-
PRABOB-no-longer-in-Tempe-but-in-Glendale-which-
in-many-ways-shows-that-Cthulu-hates-them-more-
than-us Phoenix Cardinals, or to ASU, or to Cthulu
himself, who technically is directly beneath Gammage
Auditorium, where the two fools will be vying for
attention.
Which is, I think, all Tempe has to offer other than
a sorcery cult, an artificial lake with two inflatable
rubber dams (really), and a Starbucks (no, really),
unless you like to keep tanned co-eds in a deep hole
in your basement.
Today I watched a bunch of odd looking aircraft make
deliveries to Sky Harbor Airport. If this shit costs
as much as I think it does, then we are getting ripped
off. Why couldn't those two putzes have just mailed
us a teevee broadcast or something?
A State judge is laughingly considering whether to
stop the debate because the Libertarian candidate...
aw, who gives a shit.
There has only been one devival in Tempe, ever. There
were no survivors. I wish Lord Cthulu would hurry his
ass up.
--
"It is already like a government job,"
he said, "but with goats."
-- Iranian goat smuggler