(The following account was written soon after the event, and was sent to
the SubGenius Digest mailing list; it didn't get any response there, but
maybe the readers of this newsgroup will give more insight.)
Viking For "Bob" Captured By the Anti-"Bob"!
On Thursday, August 19, 1993, the entire Holy Cross Clench of Sacred Blood
(Santa Cruz, California) spoke through the medium of a Ouija Board to a
spirit we know only as "Virgil". "Virgil" was apparently captured at a
young age by Norse warriors and raised as a Viking. When he died in 956
A.D., "Virgil" was condemned to hell for reasons he would not disclose and
remained there until he was released, in 1985. Since that time, he has
been living in the house in which we held the seance, that of one of our
most prominent members.
When asked why he was released from hell, "Virgil" gave the cryptic reply,
"U MUST KNOW BELIEVE HILL WILL JOIN U". We established that "HILL" is not
a person, but is a small mountain, though it is not any specific hill.
"Virgil" also referred to a "FIGHT" with nothing we now know about. He
spoke of a "LYGHT" in the night and said that the moon somehow represents
us.
At about that time, "Virgil" seemed to become frantic. When we asked
what the matter was, he said, "MEPHISTOPHELES IS NIGH". When asked if
there was a point to our conversation, "Virgil" said, "WHILE U WERE WAKED
I LOOK EMPTY". He said that we should "LOOK UPON THE STARS".
The final few lines of the conversation may be best related word-for-word:
Us: "Does this have to do with aliens?"
Him: "Live."
Us: "Are you speaking of the Xists who are coming in 1998?"
Him: "Yes."
Us: "Are you speaking for ``Bob''?"
Him: "Yes. Goodbye."
Is the "LYGHT" in the night the light from the stars upon which we are
supposed to look? By looking upon the stars, are we looking to the Xists?
Do the messages "FIGHT" and "MEPHISTOPHELES IS NIGH" refer to the holocaust
and the Econocataclysm, and is the "HILL" going to "JOIN" us in that battle?
We have no idea what "Virgil" meant by "WHILE U WERE WAKED I LOOK EMPTY",
and his hasty departure is equally puzzling.
We look forward to any commentary which may be tossed in our direction.
- Reverand-as-soon-as-he-turns-18 Justin Sampson - hoperift@cats.ucsc.edu -
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Subject: Re: Viking for "Bob"?
From: MONTYKINS@news.delphi.com (MONTYKINS@DELPHI.COM)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
hoperift@cats.ucsc.edu (Justin Thomas Sampson) writes:
>what the matter was, he said, "MEPHISTOPHELES IS NIGH". When asked if
^^^^
Probably a typo for "NHGH".
-Monty
--
No creativity here, sorry.
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Subject: Re: Viking for "Bob"?
From: clavis@phantom.com (Grand Clavister)
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: the Magic 8-Ball is the ONLY
reliable and consistent form of divination known to modern man. No
bullshit "interpretation", no "it could mean so many different things",
no power-of-suggestion making your hands move without you realizing it
(studies show that when the letters on the Ouija board are covered and
scrambled, so that a spirit could read 'em but the participants couldn't,
you didn't get DICK!)... the Magic 8-ball is THERE AND THEN! Ask it a
yes-or-no question, and you get a YES or a NO... if it can't answer the
question, it TELLS you ("REPLY HAZY - TRY AGAIN LATER")!!! That is the
Dobbs-approved (so far as I know) form of telling the future (that and
flash-pipe shooting... but that's another STORY!)
Clavis
likes
KEYS
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Subject: Re: Viking for "Bob"?
From: roach@primenet.com (Eric Hillman)
Well, there *used* to be another flawless method of divination:
Bazooka Joe gum wrappers. By reading the fortune, in combination with
the toy advertisement and the random printing errors, one could predict
future events with an accuracy matched only by the highest-skilled
readers of Bobbie Entrails (tm). But now they've totally altered the
wrappers. No more toys, and the fortunes are all rearrangements of the
same eight words. It was when I first saw the new Bazooka Joe comics
that I realized that there really, truly was a Conspiracy, and that it
must be stopped.
--
------------------------><------------------------
"Bob" is a verb.
-I am not an e-mail address! I am a HUMAN BEING!-
roach@primenet.com
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Original file name: Viking 4 Bob
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