ST. G. GORDON GORDON'S alt.slack RANTS -- a collection -- Part 2

From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Salvation???
References: <4lemks$jd1@anarchy.io.com> <DqDE6z.J11@cogsci.ed.ac.uk>
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In article <DqDE6z.J11@cogsci.ed.ac.uk>, petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell) says:
>
>In article <4lemks$jd1@anarchy.io.com> gggor@io.com (gg gordon) writes:
>
>> Apparently only Jesus saves, and if so, can only Jesus spend?
>
>[and many other questions]
>
>Why don't you ASK the guy? He's only an email away, for Chr... fuck's
>sake!
>
>--
I DID ask him when he was at my house a couple of weeks ago..
He just smiled. Then he said "Fear not, some hyperactive Limey
will answer this question for you." So....????
ggg
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Re-search of original book finds puzzlin' evidence...
References: <4lr9dn$of1@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu> <4lrfeo$92g@anarchy.io.com> <4lt16n$pn5@dfw-ixnews2.ix.netcom.com>
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In article <4lt16n$pn5@dfw-ixnews2.ix.netcom.com>, sphinx1@ix.netcom.com(Col. Sphinx Drummond) says:
>
>In <4lrfeo$92g@anarchy.io.com> gggor@io.com (gg gordon) writes:
>>
>>In article <4lr9dn$of1@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>, saint@prairienet.org
>(Andrew Matthews) says:
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>Expressed his cofusion about Bob Black. So here goes, the Bob Black
>>who has pissed so many people is NOT the same Canadian ASSHOLE who
>>claims to be "Bob". Black was a good write and fronted the Last
>>International out of SF in the early days of the church. Black later
>>damaged himself by threats and attacks on anyone who disagreed with
>>him. His condition was exacerbated by alcohol and amphetamines. Since
>>his Excommunication (self imposed) he has done everything within his
>>limited and waning powers to attack the Church.
>
>> Mostly he sleeps on other people's couches until they beat him
>> up and throw him out in the street when he inevitably attacks them in
>>a fit of drunken stupidity...He was in Boston for a while but has
>>dropped out of sight lately.
>
>He's also got a law degree AND on welfare, so YOU know he's got to be
>majorly fucked up. Oh yeah, his book reviews suck too.
>
>> The Asshole from Canada is merely a rich, stupid prick who thinks
>>he can jump on the bandwagon and rip off the church with impunity,
>>which he largely can...in Canada. But if that asshole ever crossed the
>>border to push his claims he's next week's dinner!
>
>Clams for next week's dinner?
>
>Another way you can tell them apart is by their last names. The
>numb-nuts from Canada is named Bob Dean & the other idiot is Bob Black.
>Two quite different last names.
>
>Col. Sphinx Drummond TWSR

Yeah, I couldn't remember that part, too much frappin' and enpi I
Guess.

3g
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Me and Gordon
References: <4l9ba0$lrq@nadine.teleport.com> <4la0fn$45n@nntp-1.io.com> <friday-2104961151230001@dial2-9.cybercom.net> <4lenn0$jd1@anarchy.io.com> <317c6e <4lulha$g3h@nw003.infi.net>
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In article <4lulha$g3h@nw003.infi.net>, dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski) says:
>
>On 04-24-96, gggor@io.com wrote:
>
> > Yeah I know, I was lying about the subtlety...I'be been frappin'
> > tooooo much I guess, but then Too much is always...
>
>If it's taking too much, then it's not the right kind.
>I've all but put up billboards for you old.slack.fux about my mutant
>strain, but you must think it's part of THE JOKE.
>
Well it was only half a fropcig that proved to be toooo much, some
of the mutant strain that Philo sends me by UPS every week...he grows it
on some sort of all purpose medium laced with gurupee and face fucking
bat sperm antidote pudding distillation by products. I understand he
also used something from the spinal fluids of freshly split Moonies
to force the flowering stage to begin early and last long. This way
more of the active elements are retained in the cauliferous spore buds.
As far as the genetic make up goes, it blew out the main computer
at the allele lab when we made a run on it with the differential DNA
sequencer. All I can add is that it's really GOOD shit, Ms. Kresky!!

Still floating, still schemin'

GGG

From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: GGGORDON LEAVES THE CAGE DOOR OPEN BUT...
References: <H/NaxgiGkU7M088yn@en.com> <iS3cxgiGkUHS088yn@en.com> <w5hexgiGkUgO088yn@en.com> <4lobd0$kvp@dfw-ixnews2.ix.netcom.com> <4lriqs$d1d@news.nyu.e <4lvhd2$otu@newslink.runet.edu>
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In article <4lvhd2$otu@newslink.runet.edu>, dmcclain@runet.edu (Dennis McClain-Furmanski) says:
>
>Col. Sphinx Drummond (sphinx1@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
>: Maybe it's the only life the puppy knows.
>
>Maybe the puppy is a trap -- a carefully crafted psychological weapon
>designed to destroy in the most insidious way, by refusing to be anything
>but a defenseless puppy thereby forcing contrast on its attacker. And the
>harder they try, the better it works.
>
>Very, very few will not feel the wrath of the puppy as it eats away at
>them from inside, loathe though they are to admit it. Just as few will
>not wear the scars which they can never hide, for that would mean
>admitting they let the puppy bite them. They will wear them long after
>they have lost to the puppy by sacrificing their self-respect upon the
>alter of reflected humiliation.
>
>Over time, most will forget, including the puppy. But not the bearer of
>the self-inflicted puppy bite, wearing teeth marks which bulge from the
>inside out.
>
>The puppy waits in its cage, waiting for its next self-victim. There will
>always be more, and they will always lose. And the puppy will remain the
>puppy.
>
>Musashi spoke of winning without striking. The puppy wins without fighting.
>
>
FYI The aforsaid puppy was served as the main course at a nearby
Filipino restaurant. It was stewed first and then baked in a pit, wrapped
in banana leaves and served on a bed of lime-cilantro rice covered
with a fiery red sauce containing large amounts of garlic. The
stick-tenderized puppy meat was sweet and most toothsome and the entire
project was deemed a success by everyone who partook of the meal. Kid
Ginsu did a lovely job carving!!

provecho!

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Feasible scenarios
References: <4lfq19$16v@decaxp.HARVARD.EDU> <4lqn9s$v76@apocalypse> <4lv1o3$g35@nw003.infi.net>
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In article <4lv1o3$g35@nw003.infi.net>, dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski) says:
>
>On 04-26-96, pphelan@attila.stevens-t wrote:
>
> > John Blackmer (blackmer@course1.harvard.edu) wrote:
> > : Is it true that Lou Duchez has a metal plate in his head?
>
> > It is not in his head.
>
>Oh, great, ANOTHER one that's poking around up Lou's stinky butt.
>
>How do all you people FIT up there?
>
Because Lou IS the incredible expanding arsehole!!

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Salvation???
References: <4lemks$jd1@anarchy.io.com> <DqDE6z.J11@cogsci.ed.ac.uk> <4lth3c$ndr@nntp-1.io.com> <830691815snz@dolmen.demon.co.uk>
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In article <830691815snz@dolmen.demon.co.uk>, dode <dode@dolmen.demon.co.uk> says:
>
>gggor@io.com "gg gordon" writes:
>
>> In article <DqDE6z.J11@cogsci.ed.ac.uk>, petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter
>> Hipwell) says:
>> >
>> >In article <4lemks$jd1@anarchy.io.com> gggor@io.com (gg gordon) writes:
>> >
>> >> Apparently only Jesus saves, and if so, can only Jesus spend?
>> >
>> >[and many other questions]
>> >
>> >Why don't you ASK the guy? He's only an email away, for Chr... fuck's
>> >sake!
>> >
>> >--
>> I DID ask him when he was at my house a couple of weeks ago..
>> He just smiled. Then he said "Fear not, some hyperactive Limey
>> will answer this question for you." So....????
>> ggg
>>
>
>I'm not sure I qualify, perhaps if he had said barely active? however my
>contacts in the three assure me that the Jesus who saves never spends.
>
>From what I hear he's a tight git, if it were not for the activities of
>the Jesus who liberates the capital of the bourgeois oppressors all the
>other jesii would be out on the street doing cheap magic / miracle shows
>
>Huh Water - Wine - Wine Water Huh...Just like that.
>
>Except those few who have independant means (The Ice Cream Jesus and
>other business types) or those who choose to work for other churches in
>administrative or missionary positions.
>
>Anyway you must know all this from your dealing with the fighting Jesus
>GGGordon, where do you think he gets all the cash for those deals (tractor
>parts?) the Pope stopped his allowance a long time ago.
>
> Well, I alwaysd got my checks from the foundation and Stang and
Philo contersigned them. I guess they're the ones who've had the direct
dealing with the Jesii. I know for SURE that the 'frop Jesus dealt
directly with Stang and (at that time) Buck. The fightin' Jesus was
a hell of fine guy to drink or plink a few Pinks with but that shithead
NEVER paid for a round and was ALWAYS borrowing my ammo. That's
when I changed from an Uzi to an H&K caseless ammo assault rifle. Jesus
still has that Uzi (he likes the way it slips under his robe) but
now I understand the mailroom Jesus has to slip him all that 9mm ammo
that he doesn't use because he's too busy to get out on the range
and pop a few caps. Also the fightin' Jesus hardly ever bathes, so
if he offers you a ride in his Bradley vehicle, tell him you'd rather
take point out in the minefields.

GGG

From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.smokers,alt.flame,alt.troll,alt.cascade,alt.bigfoot,alt.slack,alt.revenge,alt.whine
Subject: Re: what about the smell?
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In article <4lv1ra$g35@nw003.infi.net>, dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski) says:
>
>On 04-27-96, nenslo@teleport.com wrote:
>
> > What I'm wondering is about the STINK question. I mean, I notice
> > lots of smokers try to turn every discussion about smoking into some
> > sort of noble ethical and moral thing, but what they never like to talk
> > about is HOW BAD THEY SMELL. If I were to go around letting off really
>
>Because we obviously don't care.
>
> > stinky farts around other people I bet there would be damn few
> > supporters of my godgiven right to free flatulence. That's probably
>
>Go ahead. We can't smell 'em. And if we do, we'll just light up.
>
>So what do we do about ugly people? Peel their faces off, or get ugly just
>like them?
>
>Excellent piece of work though. Particularly good metaphor building.
>

Is NENSLO a reformed smoker??? Just wondered!
GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: "Bob's" Dick
References: <175303Z27041996@anon.penet.fi>
Organization: Greenehelle
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In article <175303Z27041996@anon.penet.fi>, an468404@anon.penet.fi (future Monsignor) says:
>
>Someone just sent me this and I thought it was of some importance.
>
Nah, just a discard, "Bob" is constantly shedding old dicks
and growing new ones, old penii of the Master pop up all
over the place. One of his biggest is preserved in a temple
in Sri Lanka, venerated as the penis of the Buddha!

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.discordia,alt.bitterness,alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Re: Any advice for a first-time 'shroomer?
References: <m0u2Ldg-00015dC@udcps.cps.udayton.edu> <2dbYxgiGkMAY088yn@en.com> <4k95h9$sag@dfw-ixnews6.ix.netcom.com> <4kffau$fek@mule1.mindspring.com> <4 <4lts7j$e9b@clarknet.clark.net>
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In article <4lts7j$e9b@clarknet.clark.net>, thedavid@clark.net (David Of Bedlam) says:
>
>-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
>
>Brother Jones (jones@uwplatt.edu) wrote:
>: In article <4l6p1v$dad@reader2.ix.netcom.com>, clavis@ix.netcom.com (the
>: Grand Clavister ) wrote:
>:
>: > >~ : >Yeah, I noticed. I haven't been around for a while. Did you do the
>: > >~ : >friggin' shrooms or not?
>: > >~ :
>: > >~ : No. I've started having sex on a regular basis instead.
>:
>: I never figgered' out why the two were mutualy exclusive.
>
>For me it's cuz 'shrooms make me puke. Would YOU wanna lay under me?
>
>
If your partner was 'shroomed as much as you were it could turn out
to be a mutually satisfying, aesthetic experience!
Nicht Wahr?

3g
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Dynamo
References: <4ltqom$s58@antares.en.com>
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In article <4ltqom$s58@antares.en.com>, ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez) says:
>
>I just did my laundry, using "Dynamo: The Ultimate Stain Fighter". It
>made my clothes smell extra fresh. I would recommend it.
>

How about you try injecting some of it into your rancid Canola oil
stinky arse?

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.society.neutopia,alt.consciousness,alt.society.revolution,alt.slack,alt.discordia,alt.postmodern,alt.feminism,alt.satanism,alt.culture.net
Subject: Re: Teledildonics for Socrates
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In article <4ltv6d$fop@newsgate.dircon.co.uk>, Edmund Meadows <zenvik@dircon.co.uk> says:
>
>What is all this codswollop dumped on the Net-Viking news group
>about a Gaiah messiah engine. It looks like food for old Cable
>Jaws the codfish. Who needs a messiah or God when one can become
>one oneself. Godship is an emotion of spirit, only one up from
>serenity.
>
>Vikings try to:-
> Use their Gods as role models and for advice only.
> Take full responsibility for their actions.
> Be responsible to no God or man but themselves.
>
>Look on http://www.viking-z.org , the Zen Viking site, where there
>are full instructions on how to become a God by working on total
>personal responsibility. I have given up being a God as a bad
>habit, as there are better things in life, such as being awake.

Vikings were buried at sea in a flame boat with an alternative
newsgroup at their feet!

GGG

From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.friends.sterno
Subject: Re: ObPost
References: <4lsbg6$e72@dfw-ixnews2.ix.netcom.com>
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In article <4lsbg6$e72@dfw-ixnews2.ix.netcom.com>, surak1@ix.netcom.com (Rob [Not-Bob]) says:
>
>When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for One SubGenius
>to post to a newsgroup, only to prevent the state of affairs from occurring,
>that the only post to said newsgroup on his ISP's server is from some GRQ
>scam:
>
>The Newsgroup is in a world o' hurt, man.
>--
> I cannot imagine what the problem is with your news server
mon Capitan! To me and the rest of us here, alt.friends.sterno is
a thriving on-line community of funny, caring, literate, serious,
commited, world-saving people. My only complaint about the group is that
there are SO many postings that it takes me ten minutes just
to download the latest unread postings from the day before.
I think you should have a talk with your online service. You have
obviously missed out on some of the most dynamic and illuminating
discussion on the whole Internet.
Pity!
GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: GGGORDON LEAVES THE CAGE DOOR OPEN BUT...
References: <H/NaxgiGkU7M088yn@en.com> <iS3cxgiGkUHS088yn@en.com> <w5hexgiGkUgO088yn@en.com> <4lobd0$kvp@dfw-ixnews2.ix.netcom.com> <4lriqs$d1d@news.nyu.e <4m0q9u$qt@ionews.ionet.net>
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In article <4m0q9u$qt@ionews.ionet.net>, bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar) says:
>

>

>
>
>eta nichevo komrad....Hey, this "puppy" thing...it's an analogy,
>right? I GET it uh hyuh!
>
>
Hell no, it was dinner!
GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: GGGORDON LEAVES THE CAGE DOOR OPEN BUT...
References: <H/NaxgiGkU7M088yn@en.com> <iS3cxgiGkUHS088yn@en.com> <w5hexgiGkUgO088yn@en.com> <4lobd0$kvp@dfw-ixnews2.ix.netcom.com> <4lriqs$d1d@news.nyu.e <4m128t$dth@dfw-ixnews6.ix.netcom.com>
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In article <4m128t$dth@dfw-ixnews6.ix.netcom.com>, sphinx1@ix.netcom.com(Col. Sphinx Drummond) says:
>

>Maybe the puppy is actually just a dumb old butt-sniffing cannine. A
>puppy that needs to be loved and petted AND fed.
>
>Actually the puppy was not a metaphor at all and Mr. Gordon really is a
>mean old puppy poking man. Ask anyone in the neighborhood.
>
>Col. Sphinx Drummond TWSR
>

Aw you're just a sorehead 'cos i kick that ole blind cat of yours!

3g

From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.illuminati,alt.discordia,alt.president.clinton,alt.society.neutopia,alt.cyberspace,alt.politics.libertarian,alt.activism,alt.cul
Subject: Re: VOTE SUBGENIUS
References: <4llhpj$jvv@globe.indirect.com> <4lse6f$amj@nw003.infi.net> <4lu95g$iju@nw003.infi.net> <3182b853.10462223@news1.radix.net>
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In article <3182b853.10462223@news1.radix.net>, revjack@radix.net (Rev. Jack) says:
>
>Previously, Dennis McClain-Furmanski wrote:
>
>: Uncle Bear has it exactly right. We NEED a SubGenius president this
>: term. In fact, we need a LOT of them, to make it harder for THEM to
>: kill us all. Why shouldn't we have several? We have tons of Popes.
>: Same thing. We can have a whole line-up of them, a veritable
>: MysAmerica Pageant of presidents. Even some part-time presidents
>: if they're too busy most of the time earning a living or playing
>: video games or masturbating to handle a full time presidency.
>
>Okay, I'm in. I'm sending my $1 and voting for G. Gordon Gordon's dick,
>since it's been unemployed for so long.

Only since you been out of town jackie-boy!

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Church Update 4/28/96
References: <slack.65.006CB5CF@metronet.com> <4m1n87$41e@nw003.infi.net>
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In article <4m1n87$41e@nw003.infi.net>, dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski) says:
>
>Jesus Christ (slack@metronet.com) wrote:
>: Church of the SubGenius Update
>: 4/28/96
>
>Praise Dobbs, we've FINALLY got someone working in Dallas who isn't too
>burnt out on it all to try to get something done.
>
>I never thought I'd be saying this here, but Praise Jesus.
>
>--
>Doktor DynaSoar Iridium -- dynasor@infi.net -- Punctuator of Evolution

I'll second that one Doktor, I met the youthful Jesus a couple
of weeks ago and was much impressed with his zeal and nuts and bolts
know-how. Although I have referred to him as the mailroom
Jesus, perhaps the Bidness Jesus might be more appropriate. Anyway that
dude is the best thing that's happened to the church since the night
Stang's pecker got caught in the wringer...Stang, you see was trying to
impress a gaggle of Yetifems with the power of his manly member. Having
whanged out 'Chopsticks" on the piano, ever eager to please, our Ivan
suggested a feat of manly strength, his dick versus the machine of choice.
Connie was there at the time and she wheeled out a 54 year-old Maytag
Washer, complete with wringer. Stang, unaware of the strength and quality
of pre-war durable goods 'rose' to the challenge.
Connie ran the machinery and applied the rollers and Stang's
howls of pain were heard as far south
as Mexico City and as far north as Rapid City South Dakota. A lot of
people in the Dallas area driving around in their cars thought that
Wolfman Jack had somehow cut in on their local radio stations.
Despite her many years of operating this same piece of machinery, Connie
was so upset by what she had done to Ivan that she completely lost it and
it took the poor woman several attempts before she could reverse the wringer
and free the thoroughly discomfited Ivan Stang.
But this turned out to be a 'good' thing for the church, because Stang
spent less time impressing the female portion and more time on being the
Sacred Scribe...geberating three copies of the Stark Fist, a videotape
and two new pamphlets before his pecker quit looking like a rolled out
pizza crust.
But getting back to Jesus, I think he'll do fine by the church
and maybe Stang will be able to stop moonlighting as a girlie-boy
in the Catamite Revue!

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Me and Gordon
References: <4l9ba0$lrq@nadine.teleport.com> <4la0fn$45n@nntp-1.io.com> <friday-2104961151230001@dial2-9.cybercom.net> <4lenn0$jd1@anarchy.io.com> <317c6e <4m3fgb$845@nw003.infi.net>
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In article <4m3fgb$845@nw003.infi.net>, dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski) says:

>Hell, yeah, it'll do that on a binary machine. Some of them activating
>sequences have temporal links millions of years long. It's like a 4D
>clone. Have to use a trinary processor to collapse the wave function of
>those links. I take it the installer on Subsite still isn't fixed.
>
> You take it correctly and it won't be fixed until Stang quits using
the rotary sequencer to stimulate his jaded loins...really! One of
the most valuable pieces of equipment we have access to and Ivan
spends his time wanking with it!

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: My War with JHVH-1
References: <VgYhxgiGkk2U088yn@en.com>
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In article <VgYhxgiGkk2U088yn@en.com>, ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez) says:
>
> Little of import except to attempt to aggrandize himself. Lou, if
Yaweh Uno was really gunning for your ass you'd be fried bunny meat by
now. Just because a meteorlogical happenstance occurred in your
neighborhood doesn't mean ole Nobodaddy took a shot at you. It just
means that your little ego has reached the level of aberration closely
approaching that of paranoia.

GGG

From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.subgenius,alt.strange.days
Subject: Re: Salvation???
References: <3185753f.0@news.cyberstream.net>
Organization: Greenehelle
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In article <3185753f.0@news.cyberstream.net>, tom@nucleus.com (tom) says:
>
>gg gordon (gggor@io.com) wrote:
>: The fightin' Jesus was a hell of fine guy to
>: drink or plink a few Pinks with but that shithead
>: NEVER paid for a round and was ALWAYS borrowing my
>: ammo. That's when I changed from an Uzi to an H&K
>: caseless ammo assault rifle. Jesus still has that
>: Uzi (he likes the way it slips under his robe) but
>: now I understand the mailroom Jesus has to slip him
>: all that 9mm ammo that he doesn't use because he's
>: too busy to get out on the rangeand pop a few caps.
>
>So, how does the H&K shoot? Did the manufacturer ever
>work out the bugs with the caseless ammo?
>
>
> It's okay until you get into really sustained fire, then they have
a nasty habit of exploding before they're completely chambered.
3g
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: GGGORDON LEAVES THE CAGE DOOR OPEN BUT...
References: <H/NaxgiGkU7M088yn@en.com> <iS3cxgiGkUHS088yn@en.com> <w5hexgiGkUgO088yn@en.com> <4lobd0$kvp@dfw-ixnews2.ix.netcom.com> <4lriqs$d1d@news.nyu.e <4m390a$jvu@ionews.ionet.net>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4m390a$jvu@ionews.ionet.net>, bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar) says:
>
>gggor@io.com (gg gordon) wrote:
>
>>In article <4m0q9u$qt@ionews.ionet.net>, bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar) says:
>>>

>Well, in that case, I approve. I HATE that literary shit.
>
>Did you stew it first to cut down on the fat or just for initial
>tenderizing?
>
Both, and by the way 'provecho' is Castilian Spanish, not Russian.
It's what you say when you walk in on somebody having a meal. It means
something between 'eat up' and 'enjoy your meal, don't stop 'cos
I'm here".

Actually it wasn't a very fat dog but a lot tastier than one
would suppose. I think it was raised on a very liberal diet.

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: za.flame,alt.slack,alt.alien.visitors,alt.alien.research,alt.alien,alt.paranet.ufo,alt.conspiracy,alt.illuminati,
Subject: Re: stop crossposting
References: <4jgtp3$339@newnews.iafrica.com> <315c0018.12263293@news.uiowa.edu> <friday-3003962057000001@dial4-11.cybercom.net> <Pine.OSF.3.91.96040312295 <4ldoal$c1t@marajo.secom.ufpa.br>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4ldoal$c1t@marajo.secom.ufpa.br>, Slip User <slip@marajo.ufpa.br> says:
>
>Look, I'm new on the net, and just happened to drop in on this thread
>where you mention "mind control". According to the American Pschologists
>Association, "brainwashing", "mind control", as cults, for example, are
>often accused of, is a theory for which there is no basis in fact, or
>empirical science. They furthermore have published declarations debunking
>this theory and its promoters. I don't know if this is what you were
>referring to, but I can find the source of this info. if anyone is
>interested.
>
Where the hell have you been. Ask the men who came back from
Korea and Viet Nam if there is such a thing as mind control...shit, closer
to home ask any Scientologist a few questions for a practical demonstration.

ate logo
GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.alien.visitors,alt.alien.research
Subject: Re: ***FLASH*** Antarctica Ice-drill uncovers Dinosaur Civilization Ruins
References: <4lg9sh$kcv@news.third-wave.com> <042796033233Rnf0.79b6@optok.manawatu.gen.nz> <4m2ljp$756@alterdial.UU.NET>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4m2ljp$756@alterdial.UU.NET>, twitch@hub.ofthe.net says:
>
>

>I particularly liked those third rate sci-fi flicks and thrillers
>where the buildings are all crumbling and the hero sees a rusted
>automobile, gets in it and it starts! After only a few hundred years.
>We must build very good autos!
>

No, it's those Sears Die-Hard Batteries!!
GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.kibology,alt.aus.footy.panthers,alt.fan.tito,alt.texas,alt.republic-of-texas
Subject: Re: yo dudes
References: <3179BAD5.2F7C@student.anu.edu.au> <4lgm59$hl@uuneo.neosoft.com> <3184460F.BD9@onramp.net> <4m4k4a$ar@uuneo.neosoft.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4m4k4a$ar@uuneo.neosoft.com>, froggy@praline.no.NeoSoft.com (Carlos May) says:
>
>E. Holmes (Staff Matron) (eholmes@onramp.net) wrote:
>: Carlos May wrote:
>: /Bozo Texino (r3053562@student.anu.edu.au) wrote:
>: /: Forget Austin. It sucks worse now by comparison.
>: /
>: /Oh? What does "Canberrra" (if there actually is such a place) have
>: /to compare with Hippie Hollow, the Pastafarian Communes, and
>: /great Tex-Mex food?
>: And don't leave out the Flight of the Bats each night in spring & summer!
>: And Octoberfest there & all through the Hill Country. And the caves. And.
>: Definitely kewl, for Texas (which is definitely not the gardening state).
>
>Yeah! And I used to love the view from atop Austin's "Space Needle".
>Too bad they closed it down after that nut (James Lee Ruby?) used it
>as shoot Governor Conelly.
>
> -- F.
That was an early SG saint Charles Joseph Whitman who plinked
the Pinks from the UT tower. Lee Ruby Stone was the guy who
shot John Connally.
GG( For the sake of historical accuracy) Gordon
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.online-service.imagination,alt.child-support,alt.slack
Subject: Re: Tough Computer Question (off topic)(part one)
References: <4m38af$1nu@alpha.ftech.net> <4m3ntg$24h@newsbf02.news.aol.com> <wcYhxgiGk0sb088yn@en.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <wcYhxgiGk0sb088yn@en.com>, ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez) says:
>
>In article <4m3ntg$24h@newsbf02.news.aol.com>,
>paulc007@aol.com (PaulC007) wrote:
>
>> damn Limey
>
>Ex-CUSE me, you're referring to one of the very finest Uberfemmes in
>existence. There's pretty much no one on this planet one tenth as
>alluring as the TechnoGoddess Jools.
>
>You would KILL just to be spurned by her. And you'll never even get
>THAT far.
>
>"Damn Limey" indeed. The realization must be hard indeed, that you're
>not even worth IGNORING to her.
>
Saint Lou to the rescue again, defender of the helpless and weak,
protector of the true path to slack and general all around Mrs Kravitz!

3g
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Natural History: PLEASE HELP!
References: <Dq9qBs.F8t@cogsci.ed.ac.uk> <4lv1iq$g35@nw003.infi.net> <tyThxgiGk4lP088yn@en.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <tyThxgiGk4lP088yn@en.com>, ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez) says:
>
>In article <4m2u0n$4na@nadine.teleport.com>,
>nenslo@teleport.com (NENSLO) wrote:
>
>[lots of detailed, factual information deleted]
>
>I sense a trap.
>
> Considering that you are the same person who interpreted a random
machination of the terrestrial weather system as a personal attack
on themself by Jehovah-1, why am I not surpised Lou?

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: alt.slack: The Next Penetration
References: <4krn7e$26o4@mule2.mindspring.com> <4krndq$ffc@mule1. </2fgxgiGkQvb088yn@en.com> <4m0fc1$vji@news.nyu.edu> <4m48mh$fq1@dfw-ixnews1.ix.netcom.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4m48mh$fq1@dfw-ixnews1.ix.netcom.com>, surak1@ix.netcom.com (Rob [Not-Bob]) says:
>
>In article <4m0fc1$vji@news.nyu.edu>, jch9334@is2.nyu.edu says...
>
>>But no. You simultaneously fight the Con, while yet considering yourself
>>NOT SUPERIOR. Divided amongst your own allegiances. Left/Right,
>>Good/Bad, just like Sphinx and Nickie pointed out.
>
> WHAT IS THIS Western preoccupation with the irreCONcilable
>nature of philosophical dualities, anyway? You think Lou doesn't want GREAT
>TASTE and have his women be LESS FILLING simultaneously? What are they
>teaching you at NYU nowadays, fer Buddha's sake?
>
> I give you the Tao Te Ching, Chapter 2: "The Rise of Relative
>Opposites" (From "The Wisdom of Laotse", Lin Yutang, trans. and ed.; New
>York: The Modern Library [a division of Random House], 1976):
>
> "When the people of the Earth all know beauty as beauty,
> There arises (the recognition of) ugliness.
> When the people of the Earth all know good as good,
> There arises (the recognition of) evil.
>
> Therefore:
> Being and non-being interdepend in growth,
> Difficult and easy interdepend in completion,
> Long and short interdepend in contrast,
> High and low interdepend in position,
> Tones and voice interdepend in harmony,
> Front and behind interdepend in company."
>
> And, one may add, "Against the Con" and "Mindful of One's
>residual environmentally-inculcated non-SubGenius Nature" as a similar
>intertwined pair.
>
> Next, li and shih and the non-duality of noumenal and
>phenomenological reality as demonstrated in the lucent writings of the Sixth
>Patriarch, Hui-neng (d. 713 C.E.)...
>--
>

Back Sir, Back I say! Enough of this HEATHEN claptrap. You'll
have to confine this sort of ranting to an alternate newsgroup...
intertwined pair indeed!

ggg
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Do any of you know??!
References: <4m0usr$apb@dfw-ixnews3.ix.netcom.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4m0usr$apb@dfw-ixnews3.ix.netcom.com>, arcane@ix.netcom.com(Sean Adams) says:
>
>
> Do any of you know what the hell you're talking about?
>
> OR are you so bored that you have turned your minds off and useless
>SHIT just keeps pouring out? Normally I don't like to waste my time
>complaining about the posts people put (seeing how I am disappointed
>more times than not) online, but here is a newsgroup set up with a
>purpose (damn near) all of you have failed to grasp. But then I guess
>it's all that can be expected with a majority who has (combined) the
>mental status of a dead sloth.
>
> If you want to know what a pink really is... look in the mirror. Then
>look at the posts here and you will have no doubt (assuming you have a
>random miraculous clear moment of thought).

Been there, Said that, got the tee-shirt, where the fuck you been
boinker??
GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: HERE'S THE DEAL: I WILL STOP USING ALL THE INTERNET (NG'S WWW inc). I WILL SIGN A CONTRACT (LAWYERS AND ALL). I NEED $15,000 OR A TOYOTA CE
References: <4m3ufp$li8@castle.nando.net> <4m3utf$m91@castle.nando.net>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4m3utf$m91@castle.nando.net>, crowtaxi@nando.net says:
>
>crowtaxi@nando.net wrote:
>>This is not an illegal deal at all.
>>
>>I am breaking no rules on the net and will not in future.
>>
>>You all hate me.
>>
>>Let's make this thing fly!
>>crowtaxi
>>
>>
>
>i forgot y'all are the ones with the REAL $.
>
>

Aren't you online past the curfew for juveniles?

3g
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pam-anderson,alt.christnet,alt.gothic,alt.fan.rush-limbaugh,alt.david,alt.cult-movies,alt.tv.beavis-n-butthead,alt.flame,alt.best.of.i
Subject: Re: Poll: who's cuter? Winona Ryder or Pam An
References: <4k96nk$15u@dfw-ixnews1.ix.netcom.com> <4lgmnt$jhq@newsbf02.news.aol.com> <4m28ft$5d4@hdxx05.telecom.ptt.nl>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4m28ft$5d4@hdxx05.telecom.ptt.nl>, Yde de Jong <y.jong@telecom.ptt.nl> says:
>
>WHO IS PAM?
>
Pam is an aerosol driven cooking oil that comes in a can.

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: My War with JHVH-1
References: <VgYhxgiGkk2U088yn@en.com> <4m5jbb$d8u@anarchy.io.com> <4m5ods$hre@antares.en.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4m5ods$hre@antares.en.com>, ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez) says:
>
>gg gordon (gggor@io.com) wrote:
>: In article <VgYhxgiGkk2U088yn@en.com>, ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez) says:
>: >
>: > Little of import except to attempt to aggrandize himself. Lou, if
>: Yaweh Uno was really gunning for your ass you'd be fried bunny meat by
>: now. Just because a meteorlogical happenstance occurred in your
>: neighborhood doesn't mean ole Nobodaddy took a shot at you. It just
>: means that your little ego has reached the level of aberration closely
>: approaching that of paranoia.
>
>Excuse me, was THIS the flame that was supposed to send me running for cover?
>
>Pathetic. But you gave it a try, I'll give you that much.
>

No Lou this was not a 'flame' this was merely an observation.
You've been a crispy critter for so long now you're not worth
the napalm.As for running for cover...well you never came
out to begin with...
aloha,
3g
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Natural History: PLEASE HELP!
References: <Dq9qBs.F8t@cogsci.ed.ac.uk> <4lv1iq$g35@nw003.infi.net> <u9zhxgiGkkRX088yn@en.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <u9zhxgiGkkRX088yn@en.com>, ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez) says:
>
>In article <4m6hca$28a@nntp-1.io.com>, gggor@io.com (gg gordon) wrote:
>> In article <tyThxgiGk4lP088yn@en.com>, ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez) says:
>> >
>> >In article <4m2u0n$4na@nadine.teleport.com>,
>> >nenslo@teleport.com (NENSLO) wrote:
>> >
>> >[lots of detailed, factual information deleted]
>> >
>> >I sense a trap.
>
>> Considering that you are the same person who interpreted a random
>> machination of the terrestrial weather system as a personal attack
>> on themself by Jehovah-1, why am I not surpised Lou?
>>
>> GGG
>
>My very existence seems to bother you mightily, GGG. Your options are:
>
>1) Drive me off alt.slack.
>2) Kill file me.
>3) Shut the hell up.
>
>Your constant whining ill befits "Bob"'s chosen. It makes the
>Hierarchy look like a bunch of old men desperate for attention.
>
>But option 3 just isn't your style, and option 2 would involve a bit
>of expertise that just might be beyond you. Therefore, you apparently
>need to go for option 1 ... yet you haven't.
>
>Let all of alt.slack note the following:
>
>GGG DOES NOT HAVE THE BALLS TO DRIVE ME OFF ALT.SLACK.
>
>What a lamer. Hey Gordon, will you give us the "corking good proposition"
>rant again? It's a great one, it's CERTAINLY worth hearing again and
>again. I never ever tire of it.
>
>
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
3g
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.flack
Subject: Re: Why We All Suck
References: <4m6re5$nm3@nadine.teleport.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4m6re5$nm3@nadine.teleport.com>, nenslo@teleport.com (NENSLO) says:
>
>
> This is Nenslo speaking. I just want you to read this. If any of
>us could do EVEN THIS BADLY, we might not SUCK.
>
>[ Article crossposted from christnet.poetry ]
>[ Author was CLUpunx1 ]
>[ Posted on Sat, 20 Apr 1996 06:22:34 GMT ]
>
>ok hi,
>it's me again, Grim. i have more poetry (three this time) please tell me
>what you think, especially sigalasm. cuz he is rad.
>
>the first one is
>
>one to many times
>
>one to many times
>one to many times
>i let oportunity pass
>one to many times
>i let it slip from my grasp
>one to many times
>i let evil have stronghold
>one to many times
>i let satan grasp hold
>one to many times
>i sinned with my mind
>one to many times
>i was the blind that led the blind
>one to many times
>i let rage rule me
>one to many times
>i let my self die
>
Rest nercifully deleted.

Nenslo, you shitheel coxcomb of a man, this is the WORST
you have ever done... This was agony ....besides that posting this
makes Grantland look like the Poet Laureate.
GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.society.neutopia,alt.alien.visitors,alt.society.anarchy,za.flame
Subject: Re: Now that I'm going to have kids...
References: <4m8i3r$hvv@newnews.iafrica.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4m8i3r$hvv@newnews.iafrica.com>, mithril@iafrica.com (Grantland) says:
>
> The girl that I marry will soon become pregnant; with the aid of a
>test-tube or two. I have asked for maximum overkill, and twins at
>least are hoped for. So now I'm thinking of kids.....
> No way do I trust the debased public school system, with the endless
>inefficiencies and the bullshit that is peddled as truth. No way.
>And I don't want my kids out of touch at some distant boardingschool
>where they might feel abandoned.
> Teach them ourselves? Some, yes, but not all.
>
> What I want is a private tutor for the various disciplines of
>genuine, no-bullshit education. I want a top notch Mathematics
>teacher. An English Lit/Classics teacher. A Creative Writing
>teacher. Chemistry, (World) History, Computers, Physics, Biology,
>Geography, Latin. A foreign language.... and so on.
> I want homework to be assigned and marked; lectures given, detailed
>personal attention - questions answered in realtime. Seems to me the
>internet is the only way. Top, established teachers working from
>home and charging for their skill and their reputation.]
>
> So, someone better get it all started - I want it in place when my
>children are out of nappies. I can't be the only one .
>
> Grantland
>

And the shallow end of the gene pool gets shallower!

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.flack
Subject: Re: Shroud of BING?
References: <4m6sks$nm3@nadine.teleport.com> <mtownsend-0105960707370001@pool051.max12.boston.ma.dynip.alter.net>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <mtownsend-0105960707370001@pool051.max12.boston.ma.dynip.alter.net>, mtownsend@earthlink.net (Michael Townsend) says:
>

>
>This thing is EASILY as important as the dumb Bleeding Head of Arnold Palmer.
>
FYI poppa-san, the bleeding head of the world cup golfer
is anything but dumb. It grunts, wheezes, gasps, groans, howls and cheers.
Occasionally it lets loose with a random invective. Contant Sternodox
for TRUE and ACTUAL recordings of the head before during and after
Launching, it's a nearole opener, as that other famous Pere might
say!
GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Life Mastery
References: <pkittyDqp4An.4yG@netcom.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <pkittyDqp4An.4yG@netcom.com>, pkitty@netcom.com (Pee Kitty) says:
>
>Life's a bitch? Maybe yours. "Ninety-nine percent of life is what you
>make of it, so if your life sucks, you suck." (Mike Muir) Life sucks,
>compared to what? Life is what IS, so it can't be bad or good, but it can
>be enjoyable. It just takes the right glands. Try to follow along...
>
>Superiority? You think that just because you're my boss, or you're bigger
>than me, or you've won a Nobel Prize, that you're my superior? Sure, that
>works on most people, but I ain't most people! Do you think I worry about
>being fired, beaten up, or made to look stupid? I don't give two shits;
>I'll get another job, BOSS, or come back with a baseball bat, BUTCH, or
>pay the big guy to kick your ass, EINSTEIN. You can get others to do what
>you say, so you can be THEIR superior. But you know what? You listen to
>YOUR boss, and to YOUR bullies, and to YOUR geniuses... and that's what
>makes me YOUR superior.
>
>Life after death? You want that, eh? Okay, sure... understandable. Just
>one question: WHY?!? Why don't you try just enjoying the life you already
>have instead of worrying about whether you get ANOTHER one to screw up
>later on? If you KNOW you've got one now, why does it even matter whether
>a second one is waiting? If you can't get it right one time, you'll never
>get it right. Just accept it, roll over, and die. You could get out there
>and slack off, but you won't, will you? Me, I enjoy my life, and if I've
>got a second one waiting, I'll enjoy that, too.
>
>Mind altering drugs? Shite, talk about diving into the shallow end of
>the pool! Don't you know what a fully-glanded brain can do? Move into the
>realm of drug altering MINDS! My Mountain Dew is a thousandfold more
>powerful and sickening than your strongest peyote or LDS; the air in my
>lungs makes my heart explode with every PUMP, unlike your single-death
>crack! But no, no I don't think you ever will get it, will you? So go
>"expand your mind" by watching mailboxes melt while I watch the spirits
>of ancients that never even EXISTED engaging in omnidimensional tantric
>rituals as the universe melts in the background, and we'll see who feels
>more 'expanded'.
>
>OBTW, if anyone was curious where I've been, I was hit by a semi truck
>being driving by a drunken K'Taden Legume, and pronounced DOA. Life is
>kinda funny like that, eh?
>--
>
> Boy are we glad you're back!
GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: GGGORDON LEAVES THE CAGE DOOR OPEN BUT...
References: <H/NaxgiGkU7M088yn@en.com> <iS3cxgiGkUHS088yn@en.com> <w5hexgiGkUgO088yn@en.com> <4lobd0$kvp@dfw-ixnews2.ix.netcom.com> <4lriqs$d1d@news.nyu.e <4m7gb8$2t0@ionews.ionet.net>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4m7gb8$2t0@ionews.ionet.net>, bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar) says:
>
>gggor@io.com (gg gordon) wrote:
>
>>In article <4m390a$jvu@ionews.ionet.net>, bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar) says:
>>>
>>>gggor@io.com (gg gordon) wrote:
>>>
>>>>In article <4m0q9u$qt@ionews.ionet.net>, bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar) says:
>>>>>
>
>>>Well, in that case, I approve. I HATE that literary shit.
>>>
>>>Did you stew it first to cut down on the fat or just for initial
>>>tenderizing?
>>>
>> Both, and by the way 'provecho' is Castilian Spanish, not Russian.
>>It's what you say when you walk in on somebody having a meal. It means
>>something between 'eat up' and 'enjoy your meal, don't stop 'cos
>>I'm here".
>
>and my Russian was sloppy for "ain't nothing but a thang." You write
>the languages YOU speak, I'll write the ones I speak, deal? Just
>curious, does Mexican count as Castillian if you add a lisp?
>
> No, that lispy shit came out in Thpain long after Castilian had been
exported to SA...If you speak North American Spanish with a lisp
you come off as an uncouth denizen of modern Madrid to them folks down
South. Unless you're talking to a colla, who probably won't understand a
blind word of what you are saying.

ggg
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Natural History: PLEASE HELP!
References: <Dq9qBs.F8t@cogsci.ed.ac.uk> <4lv1iq$g35@nw003.infi.net> <u9zhxgiGkkRX088yn@en.com> <4m7lru$35i@nntp-1.io.com> <4m7qna$c1b@antares.en.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
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In article <4m7qna$c1b@antares.en.com>, ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez) opens
his trained asshole that can speak and it says:
>
>gg gordon (gggor@io.com) wrote:
>
>: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
>
>Nothing new here. For lack of any real gonads, your preferred tactic
>is to buzz around and annoy people like a bug. We already know that,
>though you explained yourself in delightfully concise manner up above.
>
>I bet you've got the Con quaking in their boots. "Everyone watch out,
>Gee Gordon Gordon is coming! He'll just keep hanging around the lobby
>and annoying people! We might as well surrender now."
>
>Can I take it as confirmed: you are unable to drive even li'l old ME into
>silence? What a tremendous disappointment.

I wasn't buzzing Lou, I was sleeping after reading your last
piece of shit.
If anyone buzzes around here it's the asskissing,
shiteating blue-bottle fly of a fanboy who couldn't look a real person
in the eye long enough to sell 'em a T-shirt.
It is obvious that your pitiful little ego demands attention, any kind
of attention so badly that you will subject youself to any form of
humiliation, submit to any sort of verbal abuse and even ecourage
such action to have things directed your way. I have only just come
to realize that this newsgroup is the sole extent of your pathetic,
narrow little life and you suck sustenance as well as Slack from
it. For this reason it would be unfair to deny you that attention
that you so obviously crave and need to be able to function.
And so Lou, you crapulous, shallow, lacklustre husk of
an overgrown infant what else can I do but remind you of the fact that
while it is fun to insult you it is hardly satisfying any more.You are
too easy, to simple to insult.
If you are to assume the role of masochist I must take the part
of sadist and refuse to hurt you, especially because you beg for
it.

Boy you ARE a helpless little Boink aren't you?
GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: My War with JHVH-1
References: <VgYhxgiGkk2U088yn@en.com> <4m5jbb$d8u@anarchy.io.com> <4m5ods$hre@antares.en.com> <4m7ll8$35i@nntp-1.io.com> <4m8kk6$3mo@dfw-ixnews2.ix.netcom.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
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In article <4m8kk6$3mo@dfw-ixnews2.ix.netcom.com>, surak1@ix.netcom.com (Rob [Not-Bob]) says:
>
>In article <4m7ll8$35i@nntp-1.io.com>, gggor@io.com says...
>
>> No Lou this was not a 'flame' this was merely an observation.
>>You've been a crispy critter for so long now you're not worth
>>the napalm.As for running for cover...well you never came
>>out to begin with...
>>aloha,
>>3g
>
> And then GGG said to Lou...
> And Lou said to GGG...
> And GGG said he'd already won long ago...
> And Lou points out that nobody WINS on the Usenet...
> And GGG said "Do too".
> And Lou says "Do not".
>
><Sigh> Okay, so I'm stepping into the middle of crossfire-- something the
>Special Forces Rangers of the 82nd Airborne (with whom I worked as a med
>student in 1989 at Womack Army Community Hospital, Ft. Bragg, NC) said NEVER
>to do... But I'm declaring an end to this thread.
>
> Lou, sorry your modem was fried...glad you got back online so
>quickly.
>
> GGG, please tell me where {the underlying non-duality of} "PARANOID
>DELUSION" begins and "LITERARY LICENSE" ends?
>
> Thanks, guys.
>
> Now, pick up your cartridges, sweep for fingerprints, and return to
>your respective corners.
>
> Not-Bob has spoken (ducking for cover...)
>
Oh who asked you to join in all this fun anyway? You've got two or three
slanging contests of your own going, don't try and make Dobbspoints
off me an' Lou, go back and bark at Blackmer!

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Natural History: PLEASE HELP!
References: <Dq9qBs.F8t@cogsci.ed.ac.uk> <4lv1iq$g35@nw003.infi.net> <u9zhxgiGkkRX088yn@en.com> <4m7lru$35i@nntp-1.io.com> <4m7qna$c1b@antares.en.com> <4m <4m8ugp$lij@antares.en.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
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In article <4m8ugp$lij@antares.en.com>, ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez) says:
>
>gg gordon (gggor@io.com) wrote:
>: In article <4m7qna$c1b@antares.en.com>, ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez) opens
>: his trained asshole that can speak and it says:
>: >
>: >gg gordon (gggor@io.com) wrote:
>: >
>: >: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
>: >
>: >Nothing new here. For lack of any real gonads, your preferred tactic
>: >is to buzz around and annoy people like a bug. We already know that,
>: >though you explained yourself in delightfully concise manner up above.
>: >
>: >I bet you've got the Con quaking in their boots. "Everyone watch out,
>: >Gee Gordon Gordon is coming! He'll just keep hanging around the lobby
>: >and annoying people! We might as well surrender now."
>: >
>: >Can I take it as confirmed: you are unable to drive even li'l old ME into
>: >silence? What a tremendous disappointment.
>:
>:
>: I wasn't buzzing Lou, I was sleeping after reading your last
>: piece of shit.
>: If anyone buzzes around here it's the asskissing,
>: shiteating blue-bottle fly of a fanboy who couldn't look a real person
>: in the eye long enough to sell 'em a T-shirt.
>: It is obvious that your pitiful little ego demands attention, any kind
>: of attention so badly that you will subject youself to any form of
>: humiliation, submit to any sort of verbal abuse and even ecourage
>: such action to have things directed your way. I have only just come
>: to realize that this newsgroup is the sole extent of your pathetic,
>: narrow little life and you suck sustenance as well as Slack from
>: it. For this reason it would be unfair to deny you that attention
>: that you so obviously crave and need to be able to function.
>: And so Lou, you crapulous, shallow, lacklustre husk of
>: an overgrown infant what else can I do but remind you of the fact that
>: while it is fun to insult you it is hardly satisfying any more.You are
>: too easy, to simple to insult.
>: If you are to assume the role of masochist I must take the part
>: of sadist and refuse to hurt you, especially because you beg for
>: it.
>:
>: Boy you ARE a helpless little Boink aren't you?
>: GGG
>
>Better effort ... but I still think you are making excuses for being
>completely UNABLE to drive me off.
>
>But the part I can't understand is, if I'm such a pathetic little twerp,
>why do you spend so much time worrying about me? You'll take issue with
>stuff out of the blue ... apparently I mean something to you. It seems
>you think about me more often than you care to admit.
>
>No, I'm not implying any sort of romantical attraction, I'm just
>observing how hollow your claims ring. From the look of things, I am a
>VERY significant obstacle to your happiness. So be it.
>
>

Lou you have never been nor will you ever be more than a
recreational amusement. I only bark at you when I get tired of your
fatuous bullshit. You are like Mt Everest Lou, I fuck with you
because you are there. Always ready to snap at a hook, always ready
to pompously expound about matters you barely comprehend, always ready
with a quick a completely lame bon mot whenever it is least wanted or
needed. I am not attempting to run you off this newsgroup, as it is
all you have in life that would not be kind, you can say what you
want, post what you want. I mean that's how you're making the world
a betterplace...right! So post away Lou, just don't be surprised
if people abuse you when you invite it, or ignore you when you deserve
it. The fact is Lou that you are that puppy in a cage, a woolly,
little, self-righteous puppy who thinks he's fighting the Con when
even a scent of the Con would make you squat a piss all over your feet!
You cause me no displeasure Lou, on the contrary you and your
kind will always be a source of amusement to me. It is always
fun to watch the least able pretending to something worthwhile.
Run you off alt.slack? I'd sooner spike Dobbs' pipe Lou.
It's just nice to have something warm and fuzzy there to abuse when
the mood strikes me. Now, go suck up to NENSLO for a while, he's
back on line and more choleric than ever. I'm sure he's got a fresh
tub of abuse heated and ready to pour over the battlements.

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.subgenius,alt.strange.days
Subject: Re: Church Guns (WAS: Re: Salvation???)
References: <3185753f.0@news.cyberstream.net> <4m5jif$d8u@anarchy.io.com> <31886f92.0@news.cyberstream.net>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <31886f92.0@news.cyberstream.net>, tom@nucleus.com (tom) says:
>
>gg gordon (gggor@io.com) wrote:
>[regarding the caseless-cartridge HK rifle]
>: It's okay until you get into really sustained fire, then they have
>: a nasty habit of exploding before they're completely chambered.
>
>I believe that the technical term for this is "cookoff" (*all*
>rifles can suffer from this condition under sustained fire,
>some more than others).
>
>Remember, "for those that stay behind" (after X-Day) this will
>be VITAL INFORMATION. I'd recommend getting at least one squad-
>automatic weapon (AKA SAW, AKA "machine gun") for each S.L.A.K.
>squad, including replacement barrels, extra ammo and spare parts.
>
>
>=W= /// Rev.Cmdr.Tom, sLACk sTATIOn ZEBRA (tm) ///
We have had substantial caches of everything from handguns to
howitzers strategically located in three hemispheres for some years now.
I frequent inspect and turn over the inventory and ammo. Can get you
a good deal on....wait better not Ivan doesn't like it when I do that
and gets all prissy mouthed and sulks because he doesn't get a percentage
of weapons sales I broker, only from the Church armory sales.
GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.subgenius,alt.strange.days
Subject: Re: Church Guns (WAS: Re: Salvation???)
References: <3185753f.0@news.cyberstream.net> <4m5jif$d8u@anarchy.io.com> <31886f92.0@news.cyberstream.net> <31887070.0@news.cyberstream.net>
Organization: Greenehelle
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In article <31887070.0@news.cyberstream.net>, tom@nucleus.com (tom) says:
>
>tom (tom@nucleus.com) wrote:
>[regarding post-X-Day skills and info]
>: I believe that the technical term for this is "cookoff" (*all*
>: rifles can suffer from this condition under sustained fire,
>: some more than others).
>
>Submachine guns firing from an open bolt mitigates this
>situation; this may be why the Fightin' Jesus prefers his
>Uzi.
>
>
>=W= /// Rev.Cmdr.Tom, sLACk sTATIOn ZEBRA (tm) ///
Yeah, except my fancy H&K weapon doesn't use a bolt.
Ammo is lined up along the top of the weapon in a feeder tube
and is drawn down into the chamber by a rotary loader. No need for
bolt because no casing to eject. As for Uzis, I find they jam
as frequently as any other autoweapon. The nastiest little bugger
I ever popped was a Czech made Skorpion machine pistol. Small,
and thus not all that accurate, but oh what a delivery rate..burn
thirty round clip before you were sure it had even started firing.
Fits in a coat pocket too, with clip out and stock folded. It's
just a wrist stock, wire of course, but it renders the weapon
extraordinarily steady even for sustained bursts of fire.

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Hibernation Ends, more at 11
References: <fruitbat-0205962047540001@cluster-198.cluster.brown.edu>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <fruitbat-0205962047540001@cluster-198.cluster.brown.edu>, fruitbat@brown.edu (Eric the Fruitbat) says:
>
>
> With the coming of the Full Moon the time has come for me to assume my
>corporeal form and begin that Pilgrimage known as the Exodus Murcielago
>Frugivorus. Let the heathen TREMBLE, let the unbelievers RUN to HIGH
>GROUND, for it is at hand that I shall smite thee IN PERSON! Residents of
>New York, inhabitants of New Jersey and Pennsyvania, good citizens of
>Maryland, Ohio, Indiana, and parts west, any TREMORS you feel are NOT AN
>ACCIDENT! We control the V-HOLD, we KEEP the feedback, this is NOT a
>test! So, my presence here will be withdrawn that I may walk the earth,
>of dual substance Virtual and Real, of SIMILAR substance to "Bob," that I
>may seek the faithful and that the unrighteous may KILL ME on the ROAD.
>So y'hear that, Goons of alt.slack? This is your CHANCE! When you hear
>me knocking on your FUCKING FRONT DOOR, get your DAMN GUN, get *ALL* your
>GUNS in as many hands as you can FIND, when I call I call COLLECT, yeah,
>YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
>
>eric out.
>--
> No power, no funky music!

Ooops! time to get out the batbait and psyberswatter, that pusky nocturnal
mango-sucker is about again!
GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: A Long Time SDPS of Mine
References: <4mejsc$fhg@nw003.infi.net>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4mejsc$fhg@nw003.infi.net>, dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski) says:
>
>I would just like to point out that when this woman wrote and recorded this
>proto-anti-establishment hit single, she was sixty five years old.
>
>By Malvina Reynolds, Copyright 1962 by Schroder Music Co.
>From FOLKSINGER'S WORKBOOK, Oak Publications, 1973
>
>Little boxes on the hillside,
>Little boxes made of ticky-tacky,
>Little boxes on the hillside,
>LIttle boxes all the same.
>There's a green one and a pink one
>And a blue one and a yellow one,
>And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
>And they all look just the same.
>
>And the people in the houses
>All went to the university,
>Where they all were put in boxes
>And they came out all the same,
>And there's doctors and lawyers,
>And business executives,
>And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
>And they all look just the same.
>
>And they all play on the golf course
>And drink their martinis dry,
>And they all have pretty children
>And the children go to school,
>And the children go to summer camp
>And then to the university,
>Where they all are put in boxes
>And they come out all the same.
>
>And the boys go into business
>And marry and raise a family
>In boxes made of ticky-tacky
>And they all look just the same.
>There's a green one and a pink one,
>And a blue one and a yellow one,
>And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
>And they all look just the same.
>
>
Boy talka bouta flashback...I first heard this song in a coffee
house in Cincinnati when I was stationed in Indiana. Heard it a
lot in Chicago too, place called "The Fickle Pickle." I think
just about every folksinger on the coffee house circuit had this one
in their repetoire, right next to "If I had a Hammer" and "St James'
Infirmary Blues" No doubt that Ms Reynolds had the gift of prophecy!
Thanks fer posting this, reminded me of my callow youth when we
ate acid on a regular basis as we went about trying to save the world
or at least get it high. When Tiny Doctor Tim and the boys were having
sooooo much fun.Nh**Gh** always favored der alt days best!!
OLD GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Do you chew gum or dip snuff?
References: <emartin-0305961548310001@fw17.metronet.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <emartin-0305961548310001@fw17.metronet.com>, emartin@metronet.com (Knuckle Sandwich) says:
>
>Hey listen up all you folks who think that chewing gum is such a great
>hobby, or perhaps you have some sort of medical condition that requires
>that you constantly chew your cud, well the bottom line is I don't care.
>As usual, I am not talking to EVERYBODY who chews gum, I am talking to you
>irresponsible bastards out there planting infinite land mines of
>biological waste. In other words... I AM SICK OF STEPPING IN YOUR FUCKING
>GUM.
>
>If you can not keep that stuff in your mouth perhaps you have missed the
>entire concept to begin with. Oh yea, spitting it out in my plants is not
>an acceptable solution either. If the stuff is so good, keep its in your
>own damn house. If you can not come up with any ideas of where to stick
>this gum once you are through with it feel free to ask me, I could
>probably come up with one or two suggestions.
>
>And while I am at it, let me talk to you snuff dippers who feel free to
>toss that nasty shit wherever, including the sidewalk, the side of the
>building and other places we all have to share. Look I don't care that
>you are busy eating a hole away on the side of your mouth for what ever
>reason. Maybe you really want to test out your new insurance program, or
>perhaps you just can't salivate fast enough naturally, or maybe you just
>enjoy sucking. Whatever you reason, I don't want that shit laying around.
>
>If you come over to my house and feel the need to dip, that's fine...bring
>your own spittoon and take that thing with you. don't leaving it laying
>around so I can knock it over later, and YOUR SORRY ASS BETTER NOT KNOCK
>IT OVER IN THE HOUSE. Oh sure, it's your ooze so it is not a big deal,
>but I don't want to be known for encouraging THAT TYPE of bodily fluid
>ejection in my place. So throw that shit away, again if you don't know
>what to do with it, I'll be glad to help.
>
>Have a nice day,
>
>
>
>Knuckle Sandwich
>
>"Your mind is not dirty, so don't let no one wash your brain"
>
> Inka Inka
And may I add to this that all you dick shitters should stay off
my goddamned lawn!!! I know Sphinx put you people up to it, but
I'm tired of raking up all those shitten dicks every bloody ayem so I can
get out to my assault vehicle. I'm posting notice now, the surplus
Bosnian mines I picked up last week are ALL in place! BE WARNED!!!
Shit your dicks elswhere or face the possibility of high explosive
neutering.

Thanking you in advance
GG (See! I CAN be polite. )Gordon
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: The ibis is a gloomy bird, and sometimes a turkey fucks a chicken
References: <3188E679.7403@nicom.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <3188E679.7403@nicom.com>, Baruch Bank <franz@nicom.com> says:

>
>A wise man once said, "Everyone is beneath me, and I SUCK."

He was probably fifty percent right!
3G
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.illuminati,alt.discordia,alt.president.clinton,alt.society.neutopia,alt.cyberspace,alt.politics.libertarian,alt.activism,alt.cul
Subject: Re: SALVATION FOR SALE
References: <4llhpj$jvv@globe.indirect.com> <4lse6f$amj@nw003.infi.net> <4lu95g$iju@nw003.infi.net> <4m3hu0$dpm@news.nyu.edu> <4m43i2$ljr@artemis.it.luc.e <4mcqgu$g35@ionews.ionet.net>
Organization: Greenehelle
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In article <4mcqgu$g35@ionews.ionet.net>, bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar) says:
>
>dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski) wrote:
>
>>What HATH "Bob" wrought?
>>
>>Here we are approaching the End Times. Witness the recent call
>>to drill for the coming of the Saucers of Removal. Witness the
>>spontaneous population limiting behaviors, even in countries that
>>gasp in HORROR at American fatal sociopsychological sickies, when
>>their own incidents themselves would have brought condemnation from
>>ENTIRE NATIONS only a generation or two ago. Witness just about
>>ANYTHING, for it's truly "ALL a sign of the end times."
>>
>>There are cities of less than a million people with daily killings
>>reports, such as were made during war time. And THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
>>Only THIS time, the enemy is WITHIN. It's a SEETHING ANTISPIRIT
>>within the brains of that sadly too successful genetic "accident"
>>that has CHEATED its way to the top of the food chain, there to
>>POISON the entire chain, in a subconscious species specific SUICIDE
>>RITUAL.
>>
>>Unless something happens, and happens SOON, the street gutters will
>>flow with blood like the drain grooves in a dissection table....<snip sacred rant>
>
>My brother, Dyna, tells it like it is. Can't you feel it in the air,
>brethren and sistern? Is not the tension all but palpable? Do you
>secretly look with fear at every stranger you meet on the streets,
>knowing full well that that sweet looking old lady MAY have been a
>member of the SLA and COULD blow your Pink brains all over the
>sidewalk without any warning whatsoever. Good...you may survive.
>
>These ARE the END TIMES, my friends. This is the closing of the old
>way and the opening of the new. Will you be among those who decide the
>fates of others or will you continue to be a sheep for the CON? Do you
>have the BALLS and the FAITH to survive the coming chaos? If not,
>you'd better get that $30 to Dallas, or your ass is a historical
>reference come July 6th 1998.
>
>"Bob" Dobbs brings us the answer, and the answer is "Fuck 'em." The
>problem is that even though many of you have sent in your $30 faith
>offering to purchase a ministry, you don't really MINISTER. You think
>that "Bob" is going to FAIL, don't you? You don't really believe that
>he can MAKE THE DEAL with the X-ists and save our asses, now do you?
>And when you don't believe, you can't make others believe. A good
>salesman can sell ANYTHING, if he believes in it. Start pulling the
>wool over your own eyes TODAY! It is your sacred dooty to love "Bob's"
>booty!
>
>He CAN save us, even without the X-ists. He has shown us the path to
>freedom if only we are brave enough to walk it. It is the path of the
>humorous revolution....when the bad guys are laughing too hard to
>notice that we've shot them in the ass. How do you make a Newt
>Gingrich lose power? Laugh at him. Laugh at his looks, his thoughts,
>his life. When he becomes nothing more than a laughing stock, he HAS
>no power. "Bob" is always smiling 'cause he's always LAUGHING AT YOU,
>BOY! The trick is to laugh right back.
>
>Laughter is power. Go to a political meeting and wait for the
>opportunity. If you are truly a SubGenius, SOMETHING will spark...some
>fire will light, and when the mind is illuminated, shout it out. Say
>the mocking/funny thing OUT LOUD, where everyone can hear it. Don't be
>afraid to make someone else look like a fool, they've been more than
>happy to allow you that same privilege since birth, haven't they? MAKE
>FUN.
>
>I don't worry about being stupid. I've been stupid all my life and now
>I don't have to work for a living...yep, real stupid. I worry about
>being enslaved. Honest to Dobbs, I do. I worry about the Gobment being
>able to tell me what I can say, where I can go, with whom I can
>associate and what I should eat, drink and never smoke. I worry about
>the world coming to the place where people fear to state their minds
>because it doesn't fit the politically correct position of the day,
>and my friends, IT IS COMING! The only way to stop the enslavement is
>through our savior, J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. The only way to break the chains
>is laughter, and the only way to get away from all this and not have
>to worry about it any more is to send in that $30, and be waiting on
>the lawn at dawn...
>--
>Reverend Mutha Tarla, Little Sisters of the Perpetually Juicy,
>A Proud Jism Schism of the Church of the SubGenius, Worshipping
>"Connie" Dobbs and Juicy Retardo since 1986
>//www.ionet.net/~bmyers/homepage.html
>
AAAAAAAAHHHHHH YEEEEEESSSSS!!!! The Yetilini Power begins to rise.
The Harvest, ah dear friends the HARVEST draws night. We are ready
to be plucked for Dobbs as the skies themselves crack and the
stream of earthly time corrupted. Praise Dyno Praise the Rev Mutha.
My tired old glands quiver at your zeal, I had to get new batteries
for my pacemaker that I might receive these heartfelt preachings of
the IMMANENCE of THAT ONE DAY! (Not to be confused with that one time)
over and over again..
The portals of alt.slack have been riven, stale and stilted air quickened
by starchy, fresh new rantings which like some sweet anodyne
sweeps through these convoluted postings, and brings the true words.
Can ya feel that hate gland throbbing brother's and sisters???
Are you ready for it, that one great day when the fire of retribution
fries all those limp-fazed wagezombies that shuffled in front of you in
line, in traffic, in life.
Now comes the HARVEST, The Reaping of the fruited Grain of "Bob"
When pain and death winnow the bounty of Endtimes until only those of
you who have learned to kill Dobbs, stand firm and seize life by the
lapels and shake it into full awareness of YOUR presence are left.
How can those of you who fear these Awful travails that lie but
scarcely two years off be assured of your continued existence on at least
three different energy planes when the Cosmic Storms or the Yacatisma
knock this shithouse down??
Simple Dear friends, we are first and foremost a Thaumaturgical
religion...specializing in miraculous fixes and quick, if spurious,
solutions to ALL your problems. You never have to thank "Bob" for anything
in general, for any dogma, any set of rules. You have only to thank "Bob"
for Slack as you find it when he slips it to you....like that ONE time you
were late for something and the parking lot you just entered is the the
size of Bob Dole's hometown and all of a sudden...right by the entrance of
the building that is your destination,somebody pulls out right in front
of you and there is that ONE parking place that made the difference...that's
when you say "Thank you "Bob"!". When you hit seventeen green lights in a
row in heavy traffic, that's when you say "Thank you "Bob".
When you get a letter from the IRS saying that you screwed up on your taxes
and not only do you NOT owe them eighteen hundred bucks, but you have
a twelve hundred dollar refund on the way....THAT"S when you say
'Thank YOU "BOB"!!!"
But listen here people, you've heard me put it to you before
that Dobbs ain't no lowbudget cheepni show. That was the OLD days.
Now "Bob" has powerful engines of finance and business to move, to sway
and manipulate so that the ENDTIMES come out right. And people, those
powerful, hidden engines of "Bob"'s will must be lubricated, must be
fueled and we know what sort of fuel they require. Whether you are
enlisting in the forces of Dobbs, re-upping, thinking about buying
personal accoutrements or wish to cast a vote for a candidate for the
Sub Government...NOW IS THE TIME TO TAKE ACTION!!!!!
Send your money to Dobbs, to Him whereunto all cash
must flow, he's going to get it ALL sooner or later so you might as well
make that offering now. Buy that merchandise, buy those tapes, fill out
those forms, mail in that check, UPS your wallet, overnight your
trustfund...Render unto Dobbs that offering of love, of faith, of POWER...
send MONEY...BUY THINGS..SIGN UP FOR THE SAUCER SHIPS,
MAKE A DOWN PAYMENT ON A NEW SENSE OF HUMOR AND SOURCE OF IRRITATION!!
Write your own jokes, deliver your own punchlines, edit your
own realtime movie.
When that day that is coming shall come upon us, none shall
treat it as a joke, none shall deny it.
It's simple friends, either you're in the ships or you're frying painfully
forever (subjectively speaking). That membership card and those
purchases of the faith offerings of "Bob" are your ONLY way to SALVATION.

THE WAR OF THE END TIMES IS UPON US AND THE JUGGERNAUT
OF DOBBS CANNOT BE STAYED. BUT IT CAN RUN OUT OF GAS.

Only YOU can help "Bob" win the war...Invest in Sub Genius
Love Bonds and Heavenly Donation shares. Spread the word that the only
safe porfolio in the times that must come is the one with the slackmask
of Dobbs on the cover. Investment of your money in anything else would
not only be foolish it would be sacrilege!!!

Barely two years to get your things in order dear friends!!!

Praise "Bob" and praise the Word of "Bob"!

GG(Humpin' fer "Bob" since I dunno when) Gordon
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.punk,alt.slack
Subject: Re: HIPPY NAZI PUNKS RULE THE UNDERWORLD!
References: <king-0805961114480001@l112.redrose.net>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <king-0805961114480001@l112.redrose.net>, king@redrose.net (D.C.K.) says:
>
> Perhaps I was, am, and always will be the only punk
>rocker. Or maybe I'm just a
>GODDAMN*******************************SUBGENIUS********************************.

Or maybe NOT!

3g
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: alt.slack Builds Self Confidence after you beat it twice. But then it's basically "Watch that Superiority Complex!"...here's why...
References: <4moq08$32p@castle.nando.net>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4moq08$32p@castle.nando.net>, john blacksatan@nando.net says:
>
>you ugly nerdy bitches.
>
>ok.
>
>now if you're offended by any of those words think about why. resolve it
>so that it won't happen again.
>
>i'm NOTA. and i'm covered. good things come in 3's.
>
>jbs
>

Yeah and elephants cum in quarts....BFD!!

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.illuminati,alt.discordia,alt.president.clinton,alt.society.neutopia,alt.cyberspace,alt.politics.libertarian,alt.activism
Subject: Re: SALVATION FOR SALE
References: <4llhpj$jvv@globe.indirect.com> <4lse6f$amj@nw003.infi.net> <4lu95g$iju@nw003.infi.net> <4m3hu0$dpm@news.nyu.edu> <4m43i2$ljr@artemis.it.luc.e <pkittyDr0qnu.KM5@netcom.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <pkittyDr0qnu.KM5@netcom.com>, pkitty@netcom.com (Pee Kitty) says:
>
>Kid Ginsu (jch9334@is2.nyu.edu) wrote:
>: gg gordon (gggor@io.com) wrote:
>: : >
>: : AAAAAAAAHHHHHH YEEEEEESSSSS!!!! The Yetilini Power begins to rise.
>: : The Harvest, ah dear friends the HARVEST draws night. We are ready
>: : to be plucked for Dobbs as the skies themselves crack and the
>: : stream of earthly time corrupted. Praise Dyno Praise the Rev Mutha.
>: : My tired old glands quiver at your zeal, I had to get new batteries
>: : for my pacemaker that I might receive these heartfelt preachings of
>: : the IMMANENCE of THAT ONE DAY! (Not to be confused with that one time)
>: : over and over again..
>: : Sub Government...NOW IS THE TIME TO TAKE ACTION!!!!!
>: : Send your money to Dobbs, to Him whereunto all cash
>: : must flow, he's going to get it ALL sooner or later so you might as well
>: : make that offering now. Buy that merchandise, buy those tapes, fill out
>: : those forms, mail in that check, UPS your wallet, overnight your
>: : trustfund...Render unto Dobbs that offering of love, of faith, of POWER...
>: : send MONEY...BUY THINGS..SIGN UP FOR THE SAUCER SHIPS,
>: : MAKE A DOWN PAYMENT ON A NEW SENSE OF HUMOR AND SOURCE OF IRRITATION!!
>: : Write your own jokes, deliver your own punchlines, edit your
>: : own realtime movie.
>: : When that day that is coming shall come upon us, none shall
>: : treat it as a joke, none shall deny it.
>
>
>: Ahhhh, yes bretheren and sistern, praise GGG, praise Tarla, and
>: Praise Dyna, the current best shot a t Sub President this newsgroup will
>: ever have! The End Times are upon us, what're ya gonna do? The shit's
>: hitting the fan, who are you gonna be this time around? You can be
>: Gordon or Tarla or Dyna or any number of fine SubGenius ministers, but
>: then you have to turn around and figure out, that when those Saucers
>: land, as the hour is at hand, and those tiny green men or BIG SCARY
>: ETERAL GODDESSES hovering over your bed will no doubt point out, and
>: the RAPTURE happens, a little like the Rupture but a whole hell of a
>: lot messier....when the RUPTURE happens on THAT FATEFUL DAY, not to be
>: confused with that one time, what will happen except that your dear
>: dyed-in-the-wool-up-to-their-own-eyes bretheren and sistern, Gordon and
>: Tarla and Dyna and all the rest, are gonna be RUPTURED. Are gonna
>: know peace and happiness, or creative expression, or election as
>: president, or editor of their own mind movie...and all that you're
>: gonna be, dear friends, is one of THEM!
>
>: Now, mind you, there's lots of your SubBrethern to go around.
>: In fact, as the Great Pope Meyer hath said, "If you're "Bob" is
>: dead...TRY MINE!" But when those saucers land, and all you have is an
>: identical self to those already Ruptured up, you're gonna be bleating
>: like a stuck sheep. "Oh, why didn't I schism?" you'll be noted to
>: ejaculate as we watch aboard the safety of our air-conditioned, luxury
>: space vessels, shining bright with the glare from a thousand parties.
>: From the privacy of our own minds you will be seen to have had nothing
>: left, not even your own personality, as the Conspiracy ups and rips
>: the mask off of it's midnight face and rams it's dripping, throbbing
>: member right past your wallet, which just doesn't happen to contain
>: your ticket to Salvation, your SubGenius Membership Card, and straight up
>: your poop schute it will go!
>
>: Friends, don't say we didn't warn you, and don't think for a
>: minute we didn't try, against our better judgement but out of the
>: goodness of our hearts, to convert your body, to convert your soul, to
>: convert your very MIND over to the Worship of the Mighty Pipe-Smoking
>: Savior in the Sky. Don't say we didn't tell you so, that as you look
>: up into the air from your tattered foxhole on smouldering planet Earth
>: only to see the Vangaurd of a brand-new species emerge from out over
>: the treetops, that we didn't with every last reserve of our now-useless
>: physical energy try to alert you to the dangers, and the glories, of
>: fighting the Con on YOUR terms and of getting away with it as a
>: SHIT-KICKING SUbGenius WARRIOR!
>
>: Oh, sure, you've seen the Schisms, you've seen the internal
>: power struggles, you've even read the books...but did you believe em, dear
>: friends? Did you bother to consult your own "Bob"-gland to
>: determine whether this Conspiracy wasn't ACTUALLY just a big
>: joke...whether Slack wasn't ACTUALLY a big joke...whether that
>: twenty-five foot Dobbshead staring back at you from the innermost
>: confines of reality itself wasn't just somebody's poor idea of some
>: hideously grotesque JOKE???
>
>: At that moment you will finally realize just how stupid you have
>: become in NOT sending in that $30 to PO Box 140306 Dallas, TX 75214.
>: You even ignored DynaSoar's pledge for president, and instead voted
>: Communist this time around. You fool! We're not kidding, this is NOT
>: some horrible joke, and you will regret it way past the day you die if
>: you DON'T aknowledge the Conspiracy as a living, breathing monster
>: which wants to enslave you and make you normal! Yes, you! Get
>: crackin! There is scant short time left to get this show on the road.
>: Rumour has it that if you act now, you can count yourself as among the
>: elect 7,000 or so who are doomed to spend eternities of bliss in
>: every waking moment of their self-constructed realities! Don't cop
>: Dyna or Tarla or GGG! Be your own Church...become One with ours!
>: You can do it if you don't give up. I know you can. The fact that
>: you've read this far proves it!
>
>Oh my brothers my sisters my inbetweeners and out oftheirminders will you
>not LISTEN to the call within YOURSELF? This ain't no game! This ain't
>no TV show! This is LIFE we're talking about here! It's no game, it's a
>WAR! It's US against THEM my friends, and though the outcome has already
>been determined in our favor, we must still FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT alongside
>our allies to keep this mutha MOVING ALONG!
>
>We can WIN! You can WIN! Win this war--win this life! Yes, life is
>WINNABLE when you understand what's truly going on! Do you understand
>what I'm saying, my friends? This isn't some late night infomercial
>preaching about winning at real estate, or winning at love, or winning at
>business...I'm saying WINNING AT LIFE!
>
>How? Through the power of SLACK. Slack is what was TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU,
>from your earliest incarnation back in the stone age, by those "in
>power". By the Con! ("You mean the government, or businesses?") NO, I
>mean the Conspiracy of Normalcy out there! HELL YES that includes the
>governments with their laws about what you can and can't believe without
>getting locked up. HELL YES that includes the businesses out there that
>tell you what you can and can't buy wihtout getting ostracized from the
>rest of the world. HELL YES that ALSO includes the kids you went to
>school with who laughed at you if you wore something that they didn't and
>HELL YES that includes the fascists out there that don't like whites or
>blacks or purples or stripes with plaids and YELL HES that includes all
>the plain ol' regular folks that get along and roll their eyes quietly
>when someone dresses, talks, or acts in a manner which they deem "not
>normal". I think it's fairly obvious to everyone by now that YES, these
>are the people IN POWER! Not just at the "high levels" of business and
>corporate, but throughout our society, DEFINING our society! Society
>itself is the enemy; society is nothing but an agreement between the
>"members" as to what is acceptable and what is not. And by defining what
>you can be, they limit you, limit your power, and TAKE AWAY YOUR SLACK!
>
>Break out of your mold, and PULL THE WOOL OVER YOUR OWN EYES! Believe in
>your own delusions! Believe in OUR delusions! You are BETTER than those
>normal fux out there, and because of that, you can have power over THEM!
>You can beat them in EVERY important way, and that means having the key
>to LIFE! It's like playing DOOM knowing all the cheat codes! ENTER GOD
>MODE NOW, by getting back your Slack! Reclaim your individuality and
>discover feelings BEYOND happiness and contentment. Realize that you have
>the power to destroy ALL OF SOCIETY, and become intoxicated with that
>heady knowledge.
>
>Is this anarchy? Hell, no. Anarchy is "disobey all laws and destroy the
>government, man!" Anarchy is BORING. This is Patriopsychotic
>Anarchomaterialism, every man and woman a king, every child and cat a
>serf! Is it ever going to happen? Who cares...we've only got TWO YEARS
>left until X-Day! That's right, only TWO YEARS until July 5th, 1998, when
>the saucers come and take us away, leaving earth to destroy itself. So we
>may never see PPAM in action, but it's a helluva plan to work for in the
>meantime! It's GOTTA Be better than what we have now, right? So ROLL UP
>YOUR SLEEVES, PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS, ANd JOIN THE JYHAD, my brothahs and
>sistahs (and preveriously mentioned others)! You can destroy the Con by
>subverting its power. Just laugh at it, and when it points its guns at
>you, squirm underneath it and eat away at it until it finds an easier
>target! Or, if you've got the balls to take it on mano-a-manymano, more
>power to you. All that's important is that you throw your weight in
>behind "Bob", for only he can navigate us through this sticky web of hell
>that is this war! So throw your weight and your WALLET into "Bob"'s back
>pocket and CHARGE FORWARD, fellow Yetinsyny! You have nothing to lose but
>your lives, and nothing to gain but your SLACK! AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!
>--
>
> HOT DAMN BROTHERS AND SISTER, CAN YOU SEE AND FEEL THAT SPIRIT MOVING
YOU???

NOW IS THE TIME TO SALLY FORTH, PAMPHLET IN HAND, FROP IN POCKET
TO PREACH THE TRUE-BLUE, YETIBLOODED GOSPEL OF DOBBS!!
SPAM THE WORLD WITH THE TEACHINGS OF ALL OF OUR "BOB"S.
Yes dear friends, time to render unto Dobbs that little service
you promised in return for saving your sorry asses! We got some preaching going on.
We got some testifying coming down.
People are starting to RANT!!
People are starting to RAVE. The very Slackmeter
needles buckle as our preacing goes forth into the quantum lather of
the Dobbsian Luck Plane...Can you feel that movement deep within?
Oh friends, when next you visit that little chamber of repose,
when you let loose that great load of doubt and unslack confusion and
open up completely for the penetration of the sacred powers of the pipe,
remember, time is short, there is much to do!!!
Have no fear, your SALVATION is assured {ASSUMING YER DUES ARE
PAID UP} but you ALL must have that special little yeti in your life
that you'd hate to see fried in the endtimes revue. Slip[ them the word
of of Dobbs. Remember friends don't CONvert, SUBvert!!!
Praise fuckin' "Bob"
GGG

From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.activism,alt.atheism,alt.chess.ics,alt.current.events-russia,alt.cyberspace,alt.discordia,alt.fan.james-bond,alt.fan.shostakovich,alt.fan.
Subject: Re: THE SOVIET UNION SHALL RISE AGAIN!
References: <4mpe1j$pac@dfw-ixnews4.ix.netcom.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4mpe1j$pac@dfw-ixnews4.ix.netcom.com>, olskool@ix.netcom.com (Antonio) says:
>
>MY FRIENDS, IN ONLY A SHORT WHILE NOW A NEW SOVIET UNION WILL BE CREATED.
>ALL THE PUNK SATELLITE STATES THAT THOUGHT THEY COULD "GO IT ALONE" WILL
>BE RE-ABSORBED, AND THE RED BANNER OF REVOLUTION WILL FLY HIGH AGAIN.
>
>THE HAMMER AND SICKLE WILL AGAIN REIGN OVER ALL THE REPUBLICS, STATUES OF
>LENIN WILL BE RE-ERECTED EVERYWHERE THROUGHOUT THE GREAT DOMAIN OF THE NEW
>UNION OF SOVIET SOCIALIST REPUBLICS AND THE NEW WARSAW PACT.
>
>GENNADY ZYUGANOV WILL RULE A NEW POLITBURO. ALL OVER THE EARTH, PEOPLE WILL
>AGAIN TREMBLE WHEN THE MISSILES, TANKS, AND TROOPS ARE MARCHED THROUGH RED
>SQUARE.
>
>ONCE AGAIN, THE WORKERS OF THE WORLD WILL UNITE -- THEY HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE
>BUT THEIR CHAINS!!!
>
>LONG LIVE THE NEW SOVIET UNION!

Yeah yeah cream and bastards rise and shit floats, so what the fuck
is new in your hometown...dare I say, Pinkboy??
GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.friends.sterno
Subject: Re: ObPost
References: <4lsbg6$e72@dfw-ixnews2.ix.netcom.com> <4m0cch$a2t@anarchy.io.com> <4mbj4v$jap@dfw-ixnews8.ix.netcom.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4mbj4v$jap@dfw-ixnews8.ix.netcom.com>, surak1@ix.netcom.com (Rob [Not-Bob]) says:
>
>In article <4m0cch$a2t@anarchy.io.com>, gggor@io.com says...
>>
>>In article <4lsbg6$e72@dfw-ixnews2.ix.netcom.com>, surak1@ix.netcom.com
>(Rob [Not-Bob]) says:
>>>
>>>When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for One SubGenius
>>>to post to a newsgroup, only to prevent the state of affairs from
>>>occurring, that the only post to said newsgroup on his ISP's server is
>>>from some GRQ
>>>scam:
>>>
>>>The Newsgroup is in a world o' hurt, man.
>>>--
>>> I cannot imagine what the problem is with your news server
>>mon Capitan! To me and the rest of us here, alt.friends.sterno is
>> a thriving on-line community of funny, caring, literate, serious,
>> commited, world-saving people. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
> I kill-file all *those* posts. No one _else_ here but you N me.
>
> One cannot even envision the day when you or I will stand accused of
>being FCLSCW-S people.
>
> So, what're we drinkin', GGG [I'd say sm-king, but the G-vernment might
>not be h-ppy about it...]?
>--
>______________________________________________________________________
>Rob (Not-Bob), AKA Dr. Archvile of Doom/Heretic fame, AKA MHM 14x5 AKA
>Frater Notbobbus Indignitatus O' the Darkyoni Clench DisOrder F.A.H.T.
>surak1@ix.netcom.com ; 75032.1035@compuserve.com
>http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/surak1/
>______________________________________________________________________
>
Right now it's a tecate w/lime, but earlier
it was a good dago red, followed by a shot of Hennesy and a fropcig
that would make Palmer Vreedeez, the effete westcoaster art guerilla and
trendy Amsterdam froptester to his scabby knees. Now, thusly fortified I
must seize my stick with a nail and seek out once more the Duchez pup...
or maybe Stang needs reminding about what a shithead he was to refuse
to deliver the wedding oration at the Sternodox recent nuptial bash. I
mean he turned down a chance for a free ride to Little Rock, luxurious
rooming, free chow, free frop, probably a blowjob from Janor all for
a drudge task worth 200 measly conskins...aaaaah the mind boggles!
Oh well, mon Capitan off to meaner pastures!!!
PS write if you get work
GGG

From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.friends.sterno
Subject: fragment of an earlier lifestyle
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

The bellhop said "obrigado" and went out, pocketing
his tip. As soon as the door closed behind him I relaxed a little and
checked Baby over superficially. Baby was looking good.
I took my clothes out of my hanging bag and put them in the
wardrobe, selecting the coat and pants I was going to wear when I left
tomorrow and taking them into the bathroom along with a sports jacket. I
hung them up, turned the shower on using only the hot and shut the door
so the steam would make the wrinkles drop out. You've got to look right
and being well groomed and well pressed was part of the act.
I looked over at Baby and then, as an afterthought put her in the
bottom of the wardrobe up on end. She barely fit. I took her out and put
her in the regular closet with my other bags and the Halliburton. I was
puffing a bit by then, Baby weighs just overtwenty kilos and I was a bit
tired. After you go through the first set of customs your nervousness
drops away. You're in the role and you just relax. It takes a lot of
energy though and I was hungry as well as tired.
I looked at my watch. It was too late for laundry. I took off my coat
and pants and hung them and folded the rest and put them in the hotel
laundry bag. I'd get them done in Paris, I decided. Then I went and took
my turn in the shower.
Thirty minutes later I was feeling great. I put on a pair of ]
tan silk slacks, a lightweight tropical shirt and a complementary jacket.
I carry one suit and three coats and pairs of slacks when I travel.
I spend a lot of money on them. The very expensive stuff seeems to travel
a lot better and it's part of the role. That's the only time I dress like
this though. I mean these are for business, I wouldn't wear this kind of
stuff all the time. Anyway I went out and headed for the restaurant
wearing about two thousand dollars worth of clothing. I admired myself
in the mirror in the elevator as it went down. Tall, thin, tanned and
very, well...special looking. That was the role again.
I disassociated and went into persona .
He had to admit that he really did look like somebody important,
somebody who stood out in a crowd. That was the general idea, anything to
avoid meeting the profile. He preened his moustache, noting a few more
strands of gray. It was beginning to show up at his temples too. Well at
least it wasn't falling out...yet. Not bad for forty-five. He didn't
look younger than his age, he just looked very healthy and very alert.
Still he hadn't had much gray hair ten years ago when he had first
started this sort of thing. He wondered briefly if the job was more of
a strain than he realized. Oh, he knew it was a strain, anyone who
didn't realize the stress this sort of work was putting on you was a
fool. You had to stay in shape, you couldn't drink much, and you had to
eat properly. That was one of the reasons you stayed in the very best
hotels with a gym, steam room and sauna. As much flying as he did, he
had come to depend on the sauna and steamroom to keep him loose.
That was the thing, you had to stay loose, look good, feel good.
He exited on the third floor keenly anticipating his meal.
He rotated hotels as much as possible but they were beginning to
recognize him at all of them. A maitre d' here, a concierge there.
It was unavoidable but at least he only went rhough about twice a year
now. With luck they'd only see him every other year from now on.
He ate alone and he ate well. He had a drink, a gin and tonic
before his meal. He ordered seafood, baked badejo stuffed with shrimp in
a hot sauce from Bahia along with a salad. The fish came with mashed
potatoes. It was excellent. For dessert he had fruit. He drank agua
mineral com gaz with his meal and finished off with a cafezinho and a
conaque. He lit up a long, thin cheroot and puffed at it without inhaling
as he departed, having signed the check and left a good tip for the
waiter.
He went down to the lobby and wandered around. There was a
newsstand but nothing in English except newspapers. He had been hoping
for a magazine or book. He had two books upstairs, one in Spanish the
other in Portuguese. He had decided to increase his fluency in both
languages. He could speak them fairly well and he had no trouble with the
newspapers, but fiction, he had discovered was another thing entirely.
He stuck with it though switching back and forth between Yo El Supremo
and Dona Flor y sua dois maridos. But still right about now he'd like to
have something thick and easy to read or at least stimulating.
He wandered around some more noting that the lobby was seething
with Japanese business men all loaded down with their luggage. Most of
them were also wearing overcoats. There had to be a flight out to Tokyo
this evening, that would make sense because it's winter in Japan.
In Paris too although he'd only be there a day and a half and
he'd brought a sweater and a coat. That was the difficulty in packing
for these trips. Going through time zones was nothing like going from
summer in the tropics to winter in Europe in a few hours and them back
again. The lobby was getting too crowded and he decided to check out
the club before he went back to his room. He wasn't that sleepy, just a
little drained. Of course that waas the thing, you had to watch for that
old adrenalin keeping you up to late and going too long.
He got into the elevator and pushed the button for the club on
the 60th floor. Hopefully he'd be able to see through the smog as it had
rained all day in Sao Paulo. He rode alone as far as the eighteenth floor
and that was where she got on.
She was tall, lithe, well dressed and wonderfully poised.
Her large gray eyes looked at the lit button and then she smiled at him.
"Going up to the club then?" she enquired. She sounded English.
She looked at him very directly as she spoke.
"Thought I'd have a look," he said calmly while quite bowled over
by the sheer physical presence of the woman. She was very good looking
in a non-cosmetic way, nice shaped face, good cheekbones, strong nose,
grey eyes, long lashed. Hair was a reddish brown, cut stylishly short,
it said class, she had class written all over her. The simple one piece
cocktail dress didn't look flashy, but like his clothes it was obviously
very expensive. She was wearing a thin gold chain around her long,
perfect neck and a large, very nice looking emerald hanging just above
her well formed cleavage. He had looked her over very discreetly and then
realized that she was giving him a similar once over.
What was there about her that made her seem so familiar?
"At the risking of sounding stupid, do we know one another, I
mean there's something about you that makes me feel like I've met you
before." He laughed a little nervously. "Of course that's ridiculous
isn't it. I expect you look like someone I do know and cannot quite
recall." He always used his best educated voice when he travelled.
It was part of the persona he assumed.

She rewarded him with another smile, her eyes dancing merrily as
he spoke to her. "No, I don't think we've met," she said brightly.
"But you know, I have the same feeling about you, as if I ought to know
you." She cocked her head slightly and looked at him very coolly. "Are
you somebody famous?"
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Church Update 5/8/96
References: <slack.72.005F1E39@metronet.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <slack.72.005F1E39@metronet.com>, slack@metronet.com (Jesus Christ) says:
>
>Church Update 5/8/96
>
>******************************************
>NEW SOUNDS ON THE WEB
> You can, nay must, hear many sacred sounds in
>TRUE SPEECH on the Web Site. Check out the Ear of
>Dobbs if you haven't already. You must download
>TrueSpeech first. We hope to have some Hour of Slack
>Clips available by the end of the week.
>http:/www.subgenius.com/bigfist/ears.html
>
>******************************************
>SubGenius Candidate '96
> Well, Rev DynaSoar came up with an idea so
>bizarre that we decided to see what will happen. It's
>really just another way, to get you to send in a buck or
>two (by the way it really does help). I'm not sure about
>the specifics, but it has to do with deciding who we will
>run for presidency this year for the PatrioPsychotic
>AnarcoMateralist Party. It turns out "Bob" doesn't want
>the job, he thinks it's setting your sights to low. Stang
>tells me he heard "Bob's" new motto is "World Overload,
>or forget it". So I'm counting up the votes and will post
>them periodically.
>
>*********************************************
>Church Devivials and others
>
> May 24-26 North Roylton,OH MusicStar
> Camp Cheerful info:(800)446-4962
> (Rev. Ivan Stang)
>
> July 2-5 Ozarks Rainbow Gathering
> Help us spread a little hate at
> Americas biggest love in.
> (Jesus, El Diablo)
>
> July 5-7 Sherman, NY XDay Drill #1
> Brushwood - Info:(216)556-0338
> (Everyone)
>
> July 23-28 Sherman NY StarWood
> Brushwood Info:(800)446-4962
> (Rev Ivan Stang, Father Joe Mama)
> Devival probably Sat night
>***************************************
>CLENCHES, AND OTHER MUTANTS.
> Still in progress...send in your listing.
> Also we hope to have an Auto-Good-Sex-for-
>Mutants area on SubSITE... eventually
>***************************************
>CHURCH WISH LIST.
> Stick it to the man.
>If you can relieve the conspiracy or yourself of any of
>these burdens of materialism and send them to us we
>would surely destroy them or put them to work against
>the conspiracy.
> Any Scanner,
> Eudora pro (for PC),
> Any working video, audio equipment.
> Large Straps of a red Color
> Any clean unused Bondage equipment.
>******************************************
>Tattoos
> We're in the process of creating Temp Tattoos of
>"Bob" and the Wings of Slack. This is just one of many
>products that soon will be available, along with our
>ability to take PLASTIC. Some say it's kowtowing to the
>Conspiracy. Nay! You're spending THEIR money, and
>who will be stuck with the bill when you're on the Escape
>Vessels of the SexGodesses. HA!!
>********************************************
>That's it. Jesus. (ed. Rev I.Stang)
>slack@metronet.com
Ha, finally the little elves have been put back to work under the
tutelage of the lash and teeny red-hot irons.
Well there's no doubt the Bidness Jesus is taking care of it
and mister Christ, sir would you be interested in acting as my
collection agent? That evil pudboy Palmer Vreedeez still has my
commissioned and paid for painting....and I have a blank space in the
hall of the ancestral mansion...think about it Jesus, you can loot his
comic book collection and steal all his dinosaurs...all you gotta
do is get my art for me...you'll like San Francisco, and PuzzEv will
be happy to help if he can have Palmer's computer. I would take care
of this myself, but then again....naaaaah!!!

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: alt.slack FAQ#1- It's fine w/john blacksatan@nando.net to be referred to as Doctress Neutopia (sp?) if that's the case but he prefers john blackm
References: <4mscrs$bcr@castle.nando.net>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4mscrs$bcr@castle.nando.net>, crowtaxi@nando.net says:
>
>i like john blacksatan@nando.net.
>
>he's aok.
>
>thankyou Rev Gypsy Joker and Francis E Decstation dude.
>
>it all started when i was 7 yrs old...
>
>
You mean barely a month ago???

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.flaccid,alt.limp,alt.loose,alt.test
Subject: Re: I admit it: I am a repitious wanker
References: <31938544.1211@interzone.edu>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <31938544.1211@interzone.edu>, "PURPLE@OGRESS.COM" <benway@interzone.edu>
says (more or less):
"...lights were seen in his anal cavity.Without friends he
>left a close association of vain,stiff fools,THEM or US?
My problem with Mr. Winston is that he was describing his sexual
obsession with your computer keyboard's space bar!
Do You Dare? ...What if "They" find eventually all priests
became its active enemies and raised a holy part of it because we
recognize that our pseudo-standard is Inclusionism ."

Yeah, when you filter the repetition there ain't much there
is there???? Oh well, better than some of the more recent psychobabble.
GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.punk,alt.slack
Subject: Re: HIPPY NAZI PUNKS RULE THE UNDERWORLD!
References: <king-0805961114480001@l112.redrose.net> <4mqmav$4k0@anarchy.io.com> <king-1105961448400001@d48.redrose.net>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <king-1105961448400001@d48.redrose.net>, king@redrose.net (D.C.K.) says:
>
>In article <4mqmav$4k0@anarchy.io.com>, gggor@io.com (gg gordon) wrote:
>
>> In article <king-0805961114480001@l112.redrose.net>, king@redrose.net
>(D.C.K.) says:
>> >
>> > Perhaps I was, am, and always will be the only punk
>> >rocker. Or maybe I'm just a
>>
>>GODDAMN*******************************SUBGENIUS********************************.
>>
>>
>>
>> Or maybe NOT!
>>
>> 3g
>
>Well, Jesus, at least he said MAYBE not, and not just NOT, cause I would
>feel so defiled and worthless if gg gordon thought I was a pink boy.
>True, I don't play the alt.slack game the way it was intended by their
>habits. Today I was reading a little of the "BOOK"

Aw come on, really, you can read? Well!

and it mentions that
>the people who threaten the church include punks, pinks, hippies, nazis,
>etc. And I thought about how I enjoy posturing those stereotypes from
>time to time, which doesn't make me pink at all, cause if you represent
>more than one of those labels, then you really are something greater.

This would be true if you really were a punk, hippie, nazi, geekboy
or whatever, but since you only aspire to emulate such narrowly defined
role models it is yourself who is faced with a paucity of options.

>Slack is all about being everything and nothing,

Ah yes, a clear and unambiguous definition if ever I saw one!

and the MSG in my Turkeyb Burger is making me upset with 3g.

I get it U+MSG=1/hate(GGG)!!!
How dare you doubt my slack you
>pitiful trend sitter.

I have never sat on a trend or even a trendy in my life!

Sure you might add a creative spark to this pitiful euphimistic
pseudo-psychoanalytical flamewar you call alt.slack,

Actually we prefer supercalifragilisticexpealidocious guerra del Fuego.

but you are a slave to your own degenerate flame patterns,

What the hell, I've got paisley, hound's tooth and herringbone that
should be enough for any sub..having any MORE would be degenerate.

afraid that if you
>stray from the utterly ambiguous you might be thought of as less
>subgenius.

A less ambiguous sub-genius, that's fer shure Mabel!

Fuck you ggg,

This might be arranged if you have the proper
attachments!

I'll hire someone hideous to have non-consenting
>sex with you!

I don't think Lou Duchez is available right now, somebody
is kicking him around the resurgent sovunion. As far as that goes it
would be a cool place for you to confine your twaddle, boinker.
You can either love Dobbs, or Hate Dobbs, what you think about me
is of absolutely no significance...shit or get off the pot, Bobster!

GG(Bet you ain't tithed to Dobbs lately) Gordon

From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.flame,alt.fan.rush-limbaugh,alt.pagan,alt.sex.power-rangers,rec.music.progressive
Subject: Re: LET'S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT ABOUT THIS POSTING YOU IDIOT!! Re: Militant Homosexuals are trying to shut me UP!
References: <4mvt2b$njo@barad-dur.nas.com> <Sarah_Margolis-1205960158220001@cluster-120.cluster.brown.edu>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <Sarah_Margolis-1205960158220001@cluster-120.cluster.brown.edu>, Sarah_Margolis@Brown.edu (Robert Jazz) says:
>
>Let's get one thing straight! *************************************************
>
>I, Robert Jazz, did not post the following:
>
>> Sarah_Margolis@Brown.edu (Robert Jazz) writes:
>> > > >A militant homosexual is any homosexual that is tired of being
>treated like
>> > > >a social pariah and a 2nd class citizen and demands equal respect and
>> > > >treatment afforded every other member of society.
>> > > >
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>You have selected the wrong part of my post which was merely a witty
>replay that read as follows:
>
>********************************************************************************
>
>Does this have anything to do with Van der Graf Generator???
>How about Brian Eno??
>o.k. well than how about Sammy Davis Jr.???
>- Robert Jazz
>
>********************************************************************************
>The part you have selected was not mine!!! You cut my adress and pasted it
>to someone elses original post. Mine was merly commenting that I did not
>think this post belonged in rec. music progressive, hence the Eno, Van der
>Graf references!!
>
>I do not appreciate what has happened. If you are going to reply to an
>idiotic thread than get your shit straight and learn about what you are
>doing!!
>- Robert Jazz
>
>THAT'S RIGHT, I AM PISSED OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO????

ggg
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.flack,alt.religion.subgenius
Subject: Re: At Dumb Shit Corner -- poetry with a message
References: <4n1310$li4@nadine.teleport.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4n1310$li4@nadine.teleport.com>, nenslo@teleport.com (NENSLO) says:
>
>[ Article crossposted from slacknet.poetry ]
>
>Are you standing at Dumb Shit Corner,
>SubGenius, with troubled brow?
>Are you thinking of what is before you
>And all you are bearing now?
>Does all the world seem against you
>And you in the battle alone?
>Remember---at Dumb Shit Corner
>Is just where you'll get the bone.
>
>Are you standing at Dumb Shit Corner,
>Your work before you spread
>Your lying and stealing unfinished
>And pressing on heart and head
>Longing for strength to do it,
>Stretching out trembling hands?
>Remember---at Dumb Shit Corner
>The Smirking Smoker stands.
>
>Are you standing at Dumb Shit Corner?
>Then you're just in the very spot
>To learn the wondrous resources
>Of him who careth not;
>No doubt to a brighter pathway
>Your footsteps will soon be moved
>But only at Dumb Shit Corner
>Is "One Born Every Minute" proved.
>
>--

NICE AUTOBIOGRAPHIC IRONY NENSLO.

3G
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.discordia,talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: CITIZENS OF SLACK: THE REVOLUTION WILL CREMATE YOU!
References: <4n31ml$9ji@dfw-ixnews7.ix.netcom.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4n31ml$9ji@dfw-ixnews7.ix.netcom.com>, olskool@ix.netcom.com (Antonio) says:
>
>THIS IS AN OPEN LETTER, A WARNING TO THE CITIZENS OF ALT.SLACK AND THE CHURCH OF
>THE SUB-GENUS (HOMO AUSTRALOPITHICUS). SHORTLY, WHEN THE MIGHTY FORCES OF SOCIALISM
>TRIUMPH OVER "BOB's" IMPERIALISM, AND THE RED BANNER OF REVOLUTION WAVES HIGH ABOVE
>YOUR SHATTERED LEGIONS, YOU WILL ALL BE HERDED OFF TO THE NEAREST SOCIALIST
>RE-EDUCATION CAMP TO LIVE OUT THE REST OF YOUR DEPRAVED, ANTI-SOVIET LIVES IN QUIET
>DESPARATION, WISHING YOU HAD EMBRACED THE PROGRESSIVE CAUSE OF ANTI-IMPERIALISM AND
>CAST YOUR LOT WITH THE OPPRESSED MASSES OF THE PEOPLE!
>
>THE FORCES OF SOCIALISM HAVE NO INTEREST IN YOUR PARANOID RANTINGS ABOUT "BOB" AND
>HIS MALEVOLENT EXPLOITS TO DIVERT THE WORKERS FROM THEIR TRUE MISSION: TO BUILD
>THE FOUNDATIONS OF A COMMUNIST SOCIETY AS REVEALED BY KARL MARX, FRIEDRICH ENGELS,
>AND THE FOUNDER OF THE GREAT SOVIET STATE, V.I. LENIN.
>
>YOU CALL US PINKS. YES, SOME OF US ARE INDEED PINK, BECAUSE WE ARE FELLOW-TRAVELLERS
>WITH THE INTERNATIONAL COMMUNIST CAUSE, THE THIRD INTERNATIONAL (NOW, THE FOURTH
>INTERNATIONAL, BECAUSE WE HAD A TEMPORARY SETBACK IN '91). MOST OF US, HOWEVER,
>ARE RED AND PROUD OF IT -- WE ARE PROUD TO BE FOLLOWERS OF THE PROGRESSIVE IDEALS
>AS DICTATED IN THE SIXTH PLENARY MEETING OF THE SECRETARIAT OF THE CENTRAL COMMITTEE
>OF THE C.P.S.U., DETAILINING THE NEW FIVE-YEAR PLAN WHICH WILL RETURN US TO POWER --
>A POWER THIS THAT WILL BE USED SOLELY TO BUG THE HELL OUT OF "BOB" AND HIS VERMINOUS,
>CAPITALIST MINIONS AND RUNNING DOGS!
>
>BE WARNED, OH CITIZENS OF ALT.SLACK. YOUR DAYS AS A NEWSGROUP ARE NUMBERED. WHEN
>THE TRIUMPHS, AS IT SURELY WILL, THERE WILL BE ORGANIZED THE GREATEST POGROM IN THE
>HISTORY OF HUMANKIND -- THE UTTER ANNIHILATION OF THE "BOBIST" CONSPIRACY AND ITS
>IMPERIALIST BANDITS AND PROFITEERS. THEN WILL DAWN A NEW AGE OF PEACE AND PROGRESS
>FOR ALL MANKIND.
>
>LONG LIVE THE PEOPLE'S REVOLUTION! LONG LIVE SOCIALISM!
>
>aNtOnIo "I am a Stalinist, but I'm One Heck of a Nice Guy" gOmEz MuZcReIdT, Ph.D.
>The People's International University - "If We Want Your Opinion, We'll Give It To You."

You Marxy Maoists sure do like those Kapitals, don'tcha.

GG(Rather Bent than Red) Gordon
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.activism,alt.atheism,alt.chess.ics,alt.current.events-russia,alt.cyberspace,alt.discordia,alt.fan.james-bond,alt.fan.shostakovich,alt.fan.
Subject: Re: WARNING: NO NUDE PICTURES OF LINDA!!! VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED!
References: <4n5s2e$k9t@dfw-ixnews8.ix.netcom.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4n5s2e$k9t@dfw-ixnews8.ix.netcom.com>, olskool@ix.netcom.com (Antonio) says:
>
>ANYONE WHO UNLAWFULLY USES THE INTERNET DOMAIN/ADDRESS OF ANOTHER PERSON FOR
>MALICIOUS PURPOSES OR SCAMS WILL BE PROSECUTED!
>
>THERE ARE NO NUDE PICTURES AVAILABLE FROM OR AT THIS INTERNET ADDRESS!
>
>THE PERPETRATORS OF THIS HORRENDOUS CRIME HAVE CHOSEN THE WRONG PARTY TO
>FOOL AROUND WITH!

Maybe sir, you are the party in error who hs chosen the wrong newsgroup
to fuck with. I suggest that you unlock the caps key and burble your
spazzochistic logoslime in lower case like everyone else around here.
Or else............just fuckin' kill me!

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.activism,alt.atheism,alt.chess.ics,alt.current.events-russia,alt.cyberspace,alt.discordia,alt.fan.james-bond,alt.fan.shostakovich,alt.fan.
Subject: Re: WARNING: NO NUDE PICTURES AVAILABLE HERE; OFFENDERS WILL PAY!
References: <4n5sa7$2q3@dfw-ixnews10.ix.netcom.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4n5sa7$2q3@dfw-ixnews10.ix.netcom.com>, olskool@ix.netcom.com (Antonio) says:
>
>SOMEONE MALICIOUSLY AND UNLAWFULLY INVADED MY PRIVACY (A CRIME) AND USED MY
>PRIVATE INTERNET ADDRESS AS A RETURN ADDRESS FOR A SCAM INVOLVING NONEXISTENT
>NUDE PICTURES OF SOMEONE NAMED "LINDA".
>
>ANYONE FOUND TO BE CONNECTED WITH THIS SCAM WILL BE PROSECUTED!

Aw shit, I wanted some of those pictures of your mama and the donkey
wearing the red-satin horns!!!

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: How can you tell if you have slack
References: <4muu9h$ec6@crcnis3.unl.edu> <king-1205961624100001@d35.redrose.net>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <king-1205961624100001@d35.redrose.net>, king@redrose.net (D.C.K.) says:
>
>In article <4muu9h$ec6@crcnis3.unl.edu>, jwoodfor@unlgrad1.unl.edu
>(Jeffrey N Woodford) wrote:
>
>> So I think I have slack but I'm not sure. Is there a way I could find
>> out?
>>
>> -Jeff
>> --
>
> We'll ya know alot of subgenii are gonna ignore this request, or seek to
>confuse you further, and for all I know you could just be faking ignorance
>in order get some poor fucker to express his idea of slack so that you can
>keenly analyse his answer, while thinking "he is so wrong". Soooooo, your
>gonna have to prove your sincerity before I answer you.

"prove" his "sincerity" Oh right! DUH!!!!!

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.test
Subject: Re: In the beginning, there was the sex word.
References: <319399C6.1260@interzone.edu>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <319399C6.1260@interzone.edu>, "Dr. Benway"
<benway@interzone.edu> says: (among a great deal of high toned ranting):
> Just hold it near a mailbox, touch
>your genitals and THINK DALLAS -- and YOU'RE ALREADY IN IT!
>

This line should be corrected to "...stick your finger up your
arse THINK DALLAS--and YOU'RE ALREADY IN IT.!"

GG (Just to set the record straight) Gordon
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: talk.politics.theory,talk.politics.misc,talk.politics.anarchy,alt.atheism,alt.philosophy.objectivism,alt.politics.india.communist,alt.kill.the
Subject: Re: THE SOVIET UNION SHALL RISE AGAIN! (Part Two: New Incendiary Rhetoric)
References: <4ms0jj$1ch@dfw-ixnews7.ix.netcom.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4ms0jj$1ch@dfw-ixnews7.ix.netcom.com>, olskool@ix.netcom.com (Antonio) says:
>
>MY FRIENDS, SHORTLY, WE ARE ABOUT TO SEE SOMETHING HAPPEN WHICH WILL CHANGE THE
>FACE OF THE WORLD: THE SOVIET UNION WILL RISE AGAIN, LIKE A GREAT PHOENIX,
>FROM THE ASHES OF HISTORY.
>
>ONCE AGAIN SHALL THE MIGHTY MEMBERS OF THE POLITBURO STAND ON THE GREAT
>MAUSOLEUM OF LENIN AND WATCH THE TANKS AND MISSILES ROLL BY, SYMBOLS OF THE
>AWESOME POWER OF THE RED ARMY. ONCE AGAIN SHALL THE K.G.B. SILENCE ANTI-SOVIET
>THINKERS WHO ARE FOOLISH ENOUGH, OR INSANE ENOUGH, TO RAISE THEIR VOICES AGAINST
>THE RULE OF THE PROLETARIAT. ONCE AGAIN SHALL THE PEOPLES OF EASTERN EUROPE
>LOOK TO MOSCOW FOR ECONOMIC AND IDEOLOGICAL GUIDANCE.
>
>COMRADE GENNADY ZYUGANOV WILL RULE A NEW POLITBURO FROM THE HALLS OF THE
>GREAT KREMLIN. THE NEWS MEDIA WILL AGAIN GIVE HOMAGE TO THE REVOLUTIONARY
>IDEALS OF THE COMMUNIST PARTY. THE WORKERS WILL RETURN TO THEIR JOBS, THE
>FACTORIES WILL AGAIN HUM WITH ACTIVITY, AND THE GLORIOUS PROLETARIAT WILL MARCH
>AGAIN TO THE STRAINS OF THE GREAT SOVIET ANTHEM:
>
> "OH GLORIOUS UNION OF FREE-BORN REPUBLICS. GREAT RUSSIA UNITED
> FOREVER TO STAND...."
>
>ONCE AGAIN, THE PEOPLES OF THE WORLD WILL TREMBLE AT THE SIGHT OF THE MIGHTY
>FORCES OF THE SOVIET UNION, READY TO FIGHT A NEW, HEROIC REVOLUTIONARY STRUGGLE,
>IN THE NAME OF V.I. LENIN, IN THE NAME OF THE MOTHERLAND, AND IN THE GLORIOUS
>NAME OF COMMUNISM!
>
>LONG LIVE THE NEW SOVIET UNION!
>
>for Part One of this great ode to Soviet Rule, see other NewsGroups such as
>talk.bizarre, alt.discordia, alt.atheism and alt.spam.]

The red sun has set, the red star has gone nova..the soviet
of socialist republics is no more and socialists litter the halls
with their bodies. If there's one religion more stupid
and full of shit than Scientology it's Communism...a belief system that
sold out in the first few years and spent nearly a century riding on
the backs of the people it purported to be the faith of.
You're obviously NOT a Commie because you've got all the cant wrong..
I suspect you are a rather average high school student with internet
access and too much time on your hands...so quit trolling alt.slack
we don't go much fer -isms around here...

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.society.neutopia
Subject: Re: To Dennis McClaine-Furmanski
References: <Pine.BSD.3.91.960511172639.264I-100000@tusk.lm.com> <4n3mef$bhj@nw003.infi.net> <4n4es0$31v@dfw-ixnews6.ix.netcom.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4n4es0$31v@dfw-ixnews6.ix.netcom.com>, ron305@ix.netcom.com
(TR), an obviously brainless juvenile turd says:
>

>
> Fuck you Dennis, Your the asshole. Why don't you swallow next time
>you suck your Daddies cock.
>
>

Dear TR, it is obvious that the best part of you ran down
your mother's leg as she was leaving a Serbian whorehouse so why
don't you just dry up and go off somewhere and learn to spell.

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Pledge Drive/ Alt.Salck Hierarchy 5/13/96
References: <slack.75.01240F4C@metronet.com> <4n6us0$mcv@dfw-ixnews10.ix.netcom.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4n6us0$mcv@dfw-ixnews10.ix.netcom.com>, surak1@ix.netcom.com (Rob [Not-Bob]) says:
>
>In article <slack.75.01240F4C@metronet.com>, slack@metronet.com says...
>>
>>
>> The Official Alt.Slack Hierarchy/Pledge Drive
>> In order of importance
>>
>> #1 Rev. J. F'Fering'go
>> #2 Rev DynaSoar
>> #3 Rev. Lou Duchez
>> #4 Rob(not "Bob")
>
> JESUS CHRIST!
>
> First of all, it is alt.slack, not alt.salck.
>
> Second of all, it is NOT a FUCKING pledge drive (how
>CON-like can you get?), it is a FUCKING election for SubPresident of
>these Benighted Stoats of Amentia via cold, hard CASH (the old-fashioned
>way).
>
> Third, it is NOT an ELECTION to determine pecking status in
>some faux hierarchy, "Bob"dammit!!! All SubPresidents, if elected, will
>serve...some will be more serVILE than others, of course...
>
> Fourth, I am NOT "Rob(not "Bob")", any more than GGG's last
>name is Gorden. I have NEVER been "Rob(not "Bob")"-- anyone who can't tell
>me from J.R. "Bob" Dobbs is clearly doomed to destruction on X-Day (though
>this may explain certain $1.00 offerings I have received in the mail of
>late). Look, I am Rob (Not-Bob) because my FATHER, who is far different
>from me, is Bob, and I have thus been Rob since my 16th year. Before that I
>was "Robbie", but NEVER Bobby, let alone "Bobbie". DO I NEED to upload a
>Rob (Not-Bob) FAQ for you newcomers who missed my December ranting on this
>subject?? Don't make me do it...
>
> JESUS, do we need Dyna to straighten out yer head, or will Stang do
>it for us?
>

Maybe we got the dyslexic Jesus...figures!!

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Pledge Drive/ Alt.Salck Hierarchy 5/13/96
References: <slack.75.01240F4C@metronet.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <slack.75.01240F4C@metronet.com>, slack@metronet.com (Jesus Christ) says:
>
>
> The Official Alt.Slack Hierarchy/Pledge Drive
> In order of importance
>
> #1 Rev. J. F'Fering'go
> #2 Rev DynaSoar
> #3 Rev. Lou Duchez
> #4 Rob(not "Bob")
> #5 Friday Jones
> #6 Billy & Mona Shipely
> #7 Anonymous in OK City
> #8. Rev. G. Gorden Gorden
> #9. Rev. Snavely
> #10. Rev. Sterno
> #11. Rev. Joe Nueman
> #12. Rev. Will O' Dobbs
> #13. Jesus Christ
> #14. Princess Wie "R" Doe
> #15 Col. Sphinx Drummond
> #16 Rev. Nikki
Dear mister Christ sir, I am NOT running for ANYTHING! I am not
participating in any sort of election or pledge drive so you can take
my name off your bleeding list. Furthermore you can refrain from even
using my name in any manner until you learn how to spell it!
I would remind you that wood and nails are still abundant and
relatively cheap!

GG G-O-R-D-O-N
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.test
Subject: Re: All my friends, they died.
References: <31977B03.517E@interzone.edu>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <31977B03.517E@interzone.edu>, "Dr. Benway" <benway@interzone.edu> says:
>
>No, all my friends where not aboard the Valu-Jet that crashed.
>I just had the cable-radio tuned to a channel and there was
>a lot of eighties music and one of the songs sounded kind of
>like it was from Rocky Horror Show so I figured maybe it
>was Meatloaf (but I wouldn't know). Actually, I think it
>was an anti-drug song but it also seemed kinda punk-like
>becuase the singer said that all his friends died.
>

I believe you heard Jim Carrol singing "friends of mine that died"
off his first album, Catholic Boy.
GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.society.neutopia
Subject: Re: To Dennis McClaine-Furmanski
References: <199605140635.XAA05644@netcom7.netcom.com> <Pine.BSD.3.91.960514083833.17402Q-100000@tusk.lm.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <Pine.BSD.3.91.960514083833.17402Q-100000@tusk.lm.com>, Doctor Of Law <manus@manus.org> says:
>

>
>Laugh all you want, DUMB CUNT.
>
>We will see who wins in the end.
>There is not a man alive that beat me
>face-to-face. Just WAIT untill I get
>you with my CU-Seeme this fall!
>
>-RevDrSgtMachoGodFuckEsq
>CyberGod/sacred.vulva.admin

Have you thought about some sort of medication for that
coprolalia???

GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Come on, you can talk to Dyna...
References: <4mevop$q79@nw003.infi.net> <4miaak$b2o@Grouper.Exis.Net> <4mk00r$d7m@nw003.infi.net> <4mnsp1$6a8@Grouper.Exis.Net> <4mui13$69@nw003.infi.net> <4n9rb2$jfn@ionews.ionet.net>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4n9rb2$jfn@ionews.ionet.net>, bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar) says:

>Oh sure, you say that NOW...but how about when you're wrapped in vinyl
>and restrained on a firm wooden surface with an ever so slightly
>masochistic and traditionally half-dressed Little Sister hovering
>above you with a chrome-plated Epilady? hmmm? what then?
>****

Hey can I sign up for some of that treatment, sounds like fun,
especially the epilady bit. (I thought those devices had been banned
by the Revised Geneva Conventions.)

Hirsute GGG
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: austin.general,misc.activism.cannabis,alt.drugs,alt.drugs.pot,alt.law-enforcement,alt.law-enforcement.traffic,rec.drugs.misc,alt.revolution.am
Subject: Re: Why is pot illegal, anyway?
References: <bhuston-SunMay12132411CDT1996@mu.eden.com> <31968B00.4D88@interramp.com> <4n7fbb$ilu@boris.eden.com> <4n7jpt$o83@antares.en.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4n7jpt$o83@antares.en.com>, ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez) says:
>
>Will Freedom! (bhuston@eden.com) wrote:
>: In article <31968B00.4D88@interramp.com>, Thumper (us030342@interramp.com) (us030342@interramp.com) wrote:
>: : Bill Huston wrote:
>: : >
>: : > Can someone give me a GOOD reason why pot is illegal? This is a serious question.
>:
>: : If I may sum up some of the arguments made by others in the past, pot remains illegal because:
>:
>: : 1) We have no current way to detect pot to deture people for driving.
>:
>: So? Why do we need such a thing? If someone has an accident for ANY reason,
>: they should be held accountable, regardless of any sort of intoxication.
>
>Indeed. I bet more people get in accidents each year because the idiot
>in the other car didn't use his turn signals, than because of pot.
>
>Mind you, it's my belief that driving is something best done with a high
>level of concentration and deliberate attention. It's probably best not
>to smoke pot when you're driving, just as you shouldn't drive when drunk
>or exhausted or in such a bloody goddamn rage you're taking it out on the
>road. But nonetheless, I don't worry nearly as much about pot as I do
>about people who are in too big of a hurry to remember they're piloting
>juggernauts of potential destruction. In my perfect world, you'd lose
>your license for failing to use turn signals, swerving around that guy
>waiting to make a left turn if there's no actual lane designed for
>getting around him, or for crossing more than one lane at a time on the
>freeway. I don't care whether you did it because of pot, alcohol, or
>just general stupidity; the end result is the same.
>
>

Funny thing is I know a lot of people, myself included who get so pissed
off about the way people drive that we have to be fropped to the gills
while driving so that we don't snap and just kill those assholes who
drive like they're the center of the known universe. I would never
consider a long-distance drive without frapping and finally to quote
the good Rev. Stang: "I 'frop that others may live."

GG( 'fropping like mad since 66) Gordon

From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: KID GINSU GETS THE CHEESE
References: <4nb9mc$29e@nw003.infi.net>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4nb9mc$29e@nw003.infi.net>, dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski) says:
>
>Yet another SubGenius has completed the mind-maze of the pinks and survived
>with their Yeti instincts intact. Kid Ginsu graduates from college on
>Wed, 5/15.

Indeed I do praise the Doktor,
Now he leaves the sheltering womb of the academic CON and is free
to swim sharklike in the sea of life, nibbling from time to time
at the very flesh, the body of the CON itself...no longer confined
by the elitism of those who scrabble for power and tenure with
the groves of Academe, free to loot, waste and burn back the scaly
skin of the BEAST...even as he spreads the insidious teachings of
Dobbs from within! Carpe fuckin' diem, bore from within and
don't let up on THEM for an instant.

ggg
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: KID GINSU GETS THE CHEESE
References: <4nb9mc$29e@nw003.infi.net> <4nbfj1$2o7@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4nbfj1$2o7@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>, saint@prairienet.org (Andrew Matthews) says:
>
>
>In a previous article, dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski) says:
>
>>Yet another SubGenius has completed the mind-maze of the pinks and survived
>>with their Yeti instincts intact. Kid Ginsu graduates from college on
>>Wed, 5/15.
>>
>>PRAISE DOKTOR "KID" GINSU.
>>
>>Alright, Kid, you asked for it. I WILL show up at The Drill.
>>
>
> sheeit. the kid done beat me to it. my cere-money's this
> saturday.
>
> BE SURE TO SEND ME GIFTS. MONEY WORKS BEST.
>
> send to the po box in the .sig file.
>
>
Welcome to the NACHINE!

ggg
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: CHEESE FOR $T.&REUX,KSC TOO
References: <4nbj7t$8l6@nw003.infi.net> <4nda6e$cq0@news2.h1.usa.pipeline.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4nda6e$cq0@news2.h1.usa.pipeline.com>, qrolaren@usa.pipeline.com(Q to the R to the o to the Laren) says:
>
>On May 15, 1996 03:32:13 in article <CHEESE FOR $T.&REUX,KSC TOO>,
>'dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)' wrote:
>
>
>>CHEESE all around!
>
>But someone STOLE my cheese! ::sniffs:: Weren't you paying attention?!?
>::boohoo::

It were Dynasoar wot dun th' deed...aaaaarrrrr!

Long John Gordon
From: gggor@io.com (gg gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: This is not, I repeat NOT alt.religiousright OR alt.communism
References: <4nb6k8$knj@news2.h1.usa.pipeline.com>
Organization: Greenehelle
X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.92.6

In article <4nb6k8$knj@news2.h1.usa.pipeline.com>, qrolaren@usa.pipeline.com(The Artist Formerly Known As "Q Ro Laren") says:
>
>So stop posting garbage shit on alt.slack--we don't give a rat's ass about
>your Marxist ways, or the fact that you think Bob Dole is a great fucking
>guy. NO ONE CARES--hint to heidi_HO and Antoino (Antonia? Whatever)! If
>you really want to know what's up, send $1 to the Church of the
>SubGenius--eternal salvation or TRIPLE your money back! That's better than
>anything your new leader or Bob Dole (same difference) could EVER
>promise!!!

Yeah wot he said! Dipsticks!

GG(Dialectical materialist) Gordon

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