One of the secrets of Slack is to go with your impulses and trust that
they will lead in the right direction. Last August, I was walking
through a department store and I saw this thing called, "Mr. Beer." On
an impulse, I bought it. I remembered some vague something the Bearded
Guy had said about wanting to learn to brew. It was as though Dobbs
himself had declared THIS sale to be righteous, for the Bearded Guy
has become a brewing God. Now, in addition to borrowing the occasional
cup of Slack from ME, Dobbs also has a beer or two with the Bearded
Guy. So, "Bob" turns to me some time last month and says, "Mutha T,
what would the Bearded Guy like...you know, to sort of pay him back
for all these great beers?" I thought, "Just stop making him suck your
dick and he'd be happy, " but I SAID, " Oh, give him a chance to do
what he loves for public acclaim...but it has to be subtle or he won't
go for it." He nodded, toked and went into the downstairs toilet for
about an hour.
I haven't seen him since (that's NOT a complaint), but I know he's
been on the job. This coming Saturday is National Homebrew Day. The
Brew club that we hang out with once a month, is having their annual
celebration. This year they will be offering prizes for : The Miller
Mash (smashing a Miller can with a 12 pound sledgehammer), the most
creatively decorated brew table, AND...The Pearl Hurl...a competition
to see who can hurl a can of Pearl beer the furthest. Catapults,
slings etc. ARE allowed. Points are given for distance,damage and
style. When I saw this, I recognised the Hand of Dobbs, for he had
given the Bearded Guy a chance to show his stuff. I saw the gleam in
his eye when he read the newsletter. I could HEAR the gears turning as
he sorted his memory banks for sources of surgical tubing. Oh Lord,
who is my "Bob" you gave the Bearded Guy a dream come true...an
OPPORTUNITY TO LAUNCH! And there is NO one who launches better than
the Bearded Guy.
In graduate school, I had an office in Dale Hall. This is located
directly across from Cate Center ( a dormitory). The Bearded Guy lived
in Cate Center for a couple of years. I used to walk to my office and
notice full rolls of toilet paper stuck to the side of the building at
impossible heights. Little did I know, it was the work of my future
mate.
As a freshman in college, TBG was one of the first "tunnelers" at O.U.
The University has a system of underground tunnels that are used for
servicing electrical and other systems. It's an extremely complex
system which has points of egress in some unusual spots. Let us just
say that creative tunneling yeilded a number of useful and sometimes
dangerous items. One of these items was surgical tubing...and plenty
of it.
Thus began the great Lawn Donkey rescue mission (among many others of
varying success and underground fame). Lawn donkeys were rescued from
a life of suburban slavery and brought to a place of higher learning.
They were feted, 'fropped, and frolicked with for a week or so before
being covered with lighter fluid, and LAUNCHED from a third story
window. Points were awarded for distance and damage. TBG launched one
all the way into the street once. Hurling soaked rolls of toilet paper
onto the stucco of Dale Hall was something he could do in his sleep.
So as you can see, Hurling a Pearl poses no real challenge except in
matters of Style. TBG is simply filled with Slack by CONSIDERING his
choices. Does he attach an M-80 with a short fuse to blow the can to
smithereens mid-flight, or should he save that as an encore? Should he
go with the "beer cross-bow?" Are there LIMITS to how far he can
launch? I tell you, the Slack around this place has been palpable and
only grows with his daily ammendments to the Great Pearl Launch of
'96.
And SEX? Yayzeus! what happens when a man's mind in engaged in his
favorite activity? His pecker REACTS! So, I'd like to publically thank
Dobbs for the payback, AND ask any of you amateur launchers for any
ideas you might have. My snatch isn't completely worn out quite yet.
blowed up real good,
***
eat, bite, suck, fuck, gobble, nibble, chew
titty, bosom, hair-pie, finger-fuck, screw.
***
If it rhymes, it's Art, not profanity. Bite me Sen. Exon.
--Tarla Star
//www.ionet.net/~bmyers/homepage.html
------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)
Subject: Re: "Bob" and the Brew Club
: And SEX? Yayzeus! what happens when a man's mind in engaged in his
: favorite activity? His pecker REACTS! So, I'd like to publically thank
: Dobbs for the payback, AND ask any of you amateur launchers for any
: ideas you might have. My snatch isn't completely worn out quite yet.
Before I blow something across the bitstream that might cross the edge of
legality, maybe you;d better say if there's any things that are forbidden to
his project -- like solid fueled RATO engines, mass drivers, etc.
I've launched a couple things myself that needed clearance. Had to go up to
Wallops Island for that launch.
Would a slow-compression cannon based on a long burn charge (so as not to be
an explosive) be allowed? I'd be willing to bet I could design one of those
that would require a chase team in order to score the landing.
And can the can be modified in any ways?
Yeah, you're right. This is real stiffie material. Don't ever let the gun
fans tell you this stuff isn't penile extension.
--
Doktor DynaSoar Iridium -- dynasor@infi.net -- Punctuator of Evolution
------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)
Subject: Re: "Bob" and the Brew Club
>Before I blow something across the bitstream that might cross the edge of
>legality, maybe you;d better say if there's any things that are forbidden to
>his project -- like solid fueled RATO engines, mass drivers, etc.
Well...there ARE budget restraints. I'd like to keep the cost below a
hundred bucks. I mean, it is PEARL, after all.
>I've launched a couple things myself that needed clearance. Had to go up to
>Wallops Island for that launch.
>Would a slow-compression cannon based on a long burn charge (so as not to be
>an explosive) be allowed? I'd be willing to bet I could design one of those
>that would require a chase team in order to score the landing.
Actually, he's been discussing a cannon. The only fear here is if the
can gets stuck in the tube...that could be ugly. He and his brother
took the crossbow out yesterday and launched a coffee can. On the
second attempt, however, the trigger on the crossbow broke and that
sent him back to the surgical tubing idea.
>And can the can be modified in any ways?
As long as you can do it to a fresh can (adding something ). You can't
bring the can already rigged in a special fashion, but you could add a
modification at the launch site.
>Yeah, you're right. This is real stiffie material. Don't ever let the gun
>fans tell you this stuff isn't penile extension.
Oh, I know...you should see my nips after a few minutes with an M-16.
****
"I woke up this morning and my first thought was, if I ever
have a heavy metal band, I'm going to call it ABRACADAVER."
--The Bearded Guy
/www.ionet.net/~bmyers/homepage.html
------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)
Subject: Re: "Bob" and the Brew Club
> dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski) wrote:
> Well...there ARE budget restraints. I'd like to keep the cost below a
> hundred bucks. I mean, it is PEARL, after all.
Can do.
>I've launched a couple things myself that needed clearance. Had to go up to
>Wallops Island for that launch.
>Would a slow-compression cannon based on a long burn charge (so as not to be
>an explosive) be allowed? I'd be willing to bet I could design one of those
>that would require a chase team in order to score the landing.
> Actually, he's been discussing a cannon. The only fear here is if the
> can gets stuck in the tube...that could be ugly. He and his brother
> took the crossbow out yesterday and launched a coffee can. On the
> second attempt, however, the trigger on the crossbow broke and that
> sent him back to the surgical tubing idea.
A thick paper tube, in case it busts. Carpet roll tube or similar.
An H size model rocket engine glued a cover over the bottom end, nozzle
pointing towards the open end (igniter installed before loading).
A block to keep the can from sliding all the way down to the nozzle, so
there's compression space, leaving 3/4 of the tube for compression.
The engine fires, compresses in the tube and blows the sucker a klick.
>And can the can be modified in any ways?
> As long as you can do it to a fresh can (adding something ). You can't
> bring the can already rigged in a special fashion, but you could add a
> modification at the launch site.
Wrap duct tape around the can for a sliding but snug fit (not tight).
Glue a few flat stick to the bottom for stabilizers, like on bottle
rockets.
Just before loading, take a baggie 1/2 full of old copier/laser printer
toner and glue it to the top of the can, and poke a couple holes. Acts as
an aerodynamic nose cone, and as the stuff leaks out, aids in tracking.
>Yeah, you're right. This is real stiffie material. Don't ever let the gun
>fans tell you this stuff isn't penile extension.
> Oh, I know...you should see my nips after a few minutes with an M-16.
Yeah BUDDY, my kinda UBER.
HOT damn, I LOVE them cute little Mattel machines.
Three Five Zero Zero.
They let me fire two handed on the range once. Multiple bangasms at 600
rpm. I usually don't care for this kind of hardware, but the 16 is just so
darn CUTE.
Oh, there's a model rocketry newsgroup where the engine manufacturers and
users hang out. You want I should do up a blueprint?
* 2qwk! 2.0 * WARNING: No user serviceable characters in this tagline.
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