Comix - Slack or Vac?

From: cspencer@news.gate.net (MrSluggo)
Date: 18 Aug 1995

I've been ruminating lately on how newspaper comics reflect the values
and attitudes of their readership. I attribute this to too much starch in
my diet.

Take, for example, Family Circus. At first glance, Bill Keen obviously
doesn't have a clue, much less a sense of humor. However, on a deeper
level, this insidiously trite one-panel strip of Mommy, Daddy, Billy,
Dolly, rug-rats et al has absolutely no redeeming qualities, much less
slack. When viewed as sheer Dadaism, however, one must give credit to the
heights of nauseous insipidity that Mr. Keen reaches. It takes talent to
display such a lack thereof.

Now one of my favorites is Calvin and Hobbes. Calvin is obviously Bobbie
material. While he doesn't always escape the clutches of the Con, he
recognizes it for what it is. When he doesn't repudiate it in Subgenius
fashion, he validates it to such an extreme degree that it's almost as
effective a weapon. Hobbes, of course, being a cat, is a font of slack.
'Nuff said.

The Pinkest comic I can think of has to be Cathy. This poor medeocretin
is perennially spouting words of pisdom regarding fat people in bikinis,
calories, the complications of extremely shallow relationships, office
politics, interfering mothers, jealous girlfriends, ad scatorium. Not
only is this strip totally unfunny, but doesn't even evoke a sense of
pity.

Doonesbury has potential, but seems to be more concerned with it's
political message than humor. The two *can* mix, but Trudeau doesn't seem
to have the knack. I'd fuck Boopsie, though, she drives me wild when she
does that Hunk-Ra thing.

Let me finish with a few words about Gary Larson. Slack. Gut Blowout.
Excrevesense. Violent rage and death threats concerning the lack of Far Side.

-MrSluggo They pay me well to post on Usenet, they just don't know it.

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From: ac118@lafn.org (Matthew Carey)

In a previous article, cspencer@news.gate.net (MrSluggo) says:

>Let me finish with a few words about Gary Larson. Slack. Gut Blowout.
>Excrevesense. Violent rage and death threats concerning the lack of Far >Side.

Hey, MrSluggo, what about Nancy?

Seriously though, a few years ago the LA Daily News used to have the
Quigman's. Then they ran a readers survey to determine which comics they
would axe. Quigman's came in as the number one most hated comic strip of
all. So, I wrote a letter to the paper defending the comic. They ran
the letter, but axed the Quigman's. Bastards.

Now, what I want to know is who the hell reads that Apartment 3g and
Judge Parker shit? The entire concept of a 3-panel-a-day soap opera
strip boggles my mind. Talk about a slow-moving plot. Not even *my*
life is this tedious.

--
Rev. Matthew A. Carey vision temple : tarzana california
18653 Ventura Blvd., Suite #379 "WE ARE NOT AN OCCULT"
Tarzana, CA 91356
\............. Send a SASE or email for exciting FREE details! ............./

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From: clavis@ix.netcom.com (the Grand Clavister )

(Matthew Carey) writes:
>Now, what I want to know is who the hell reads that Apartment 3g and
>Judge Parker shit?

Quotha! And that stupid "Spiderman" comic strip, too! It pisses me off how
slowly anything happens in that stupid 2 1/2" x 6" piece of inked pulp!
Spiderman has to fight some guy, and he's sitting on a wall:

Monday: Spiderman thinks about how tough this fight will be.

Tuesday: Spiderman mocks the guy with some zany Spideybanter.

Wednesday: The guy threatens Spiderman and reminds him of the reason (usually a hostage, possibly someone from the Bugle) he must fight him.

Thursday: Spiderman thinks about how tough this fight will be.

Friday: Meanwhile, elsewhere in the "Spiderman" universe...

Saturday: Spiderman mocks the guy with some zany Spideybanter.

Sunday: BIG SPREAD - HALF A PAGE - Spiderman muses over his origin story.

Next Monday: Spiderman thinks about how tough this fight will be.

and so on...

the Grand Clavister
(Never mind that, where's more of "Pee Dog and Poop Dog Comics" ... or "COMIX"?)
--
---------------------------------------------------------------
THE GRAND CLAVISTER OF NYC (AND POINTS BEYOND) NEEDS YOUR KEYS!
SEND KEYS, $1, AND/OR STAMP(S) FOR A DI-RECTORY OF PRODUCTS AND
DEVICES AND INFO ON CURRENT PROJECTS TO: O.L.I.N.Y.K., P.O. BOX
2559, GRAND CENTRAL STATION, NEW YORK NY 10163-2559. THANK YOU.

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From: jlyons@haven.ios.com (Reverend Jack)

Suddenly, Matthew Carey wrote:

: Now, what I want to know is who the hell reads that Apartment 3g and
: Judge Parker shit? The entire concept of a 3-panel-a-day soap opera
: strip boggles my mind. Talk about a slow-moving plot. Not even *my*
: life is this tedious.

*I* read them, dammit. There's nothing like a dose of vapid torpor in the
morning to bring meaning to one's existence. You think your life's empty
and meaningless, how'd you like to have brunch with Mary Worth, Toby and
the Perfessor every day? I remember once they had new tenants and they
were all *scandalized* because the new folks were out on the lawn.... wait
for it....PLAYING FRISBEE. Mary had a TALK with them, you bet your ass.

(Plus, you can cut the panels out and swap them around to make stupid
surreal plot lines and giggle and stuff.)

What *I* want to know is, what's up with that Snuffy Smith strip? I DON'T
GET IT. What the fuck?

--
RevJack
__________________________________________________________________________
Reverend Jack at the First Zen Gnostic Emergentile Church of the SubGenius
Minivan Clench =There is no way to Slack, Slack is the way=
jlyons@haven.ios.com http://haven.ios.com/~jlyons/

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From: mesmith@cris.com (Mark E. Smith)

I highly recommend reading these strips, and others like them --
but not every day, or even every week. Just pick up the paper
and read one at random for the Sheer Drama of it:

Panel #1: Two guys in a room. First guy says, "Hey Dave, look
at this."

Panel #2: Second guy says, "What?"

Panel #3: First guy says, "Under the coffee table ..."

Now don't read it the next day. Just wait a week and then read a
different strip:

#1: "Does Rodney know you were at the library last night?"

#2: "I don't think so."

#3: [Exchanging expressions of concern.]

And before you toss the paper away, be sure to look for Rev.
Billy Graham's column:

"You'll find that being sexually molested by your drunken,
lice-infested stepfather won't rankle nearly as much, once you've
accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal savior."

And they say newspapers are dying.

--
Mark E. Smith <mesmith@cris.com>
"The fourth grader notes that half the adults in the world are
men and half are women and concludes therefrom that the average
adult has one breast and one testicle." -- John Allen Paulos

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