Homegrown 'Frop -- don't bother

From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Subject: Date: 6 Sep 1995

It only grows at extremely high elevations and only in the cold, I guess.
LEGUME KNOWS WE TRIED.

As you know, 'Frop (true 'Frop, the Mariphasa Lupina) only grows on the
graves and droppings of Tibetan holy men and Yetis. By chance we happened
to have a visitor from Tibet and he was an actual holy man, a lama in some
bortherhood or order or another -- he's seen the Tibetan-language
headlines in Revelation X and dropped by while on some errand for his
cult. This was oh, last Spring, March or so. Well, he died. The less said
the better. And before that he took a dump in my downstairs toilet and we
collected "the issue" since he apparently didn't know how to flush.

To make a week-long story short, we ended up with a grave in our back yard AS WELL AS the fertilizer. And we even threw on some stuff that was
ALLEGED to be Yeti shit, although I have my doubts -- the guy that mailed
it to us was also rambling on and on in his letter about Jim Morrison
being alive in Bolivia. The 'Frop seeds WERE DEFINITELY the real thing...
Dobbs spills 'em everywhere he goes, and everywhere WE go is somewhere
he's already been, so if you know what to look for they're easy to find.

But they DON'T GROW RIGHT in the U.S. Maybe in the high Rockies you could
try it, but I have a feeling it'd be risky. We got some shoots, and they
were SOME kind of 'Frop, entirely white in color and with 7 jaggedy leaves
on each stem, but they were really stunted and died around July 5 (!) or
so. We tried to smoke the half-a-filmcan worth of remnants and BY GOBBS if
we didn't all get sick as hell, especially Sivet. In my case it was the
runs. My wife got the worst sore throat in the world, and grew a very
short "tail." Xandy started peeing purple streams that GLOWED under the
black light in his room. WE DID NOT "GET OFF."

If anybody has better results in a more controlled situation, I'd love to
hear about 'em.

Stang

--
Copyright 1995 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB

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From: dynasor@news.infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)

I'm too embarrassed to say more than "don't try this at home."

> If anybody has better results in a more controlled situation, I'd
> love to hear about 'em.

Well, I have the climate and the space now. But *I* won't try it myself.
I'm sticking with imported Siberian. The mangled chromosomes of imporperly growed stuff tends to make my eyes shift frequency. Being able to see cop radars is too small an advantage to put up with the other effects.

* 2qwk! 1.26b3 * Always leave time to commit one final indignity.

--
dynasor@infi.net The Doctor is on.

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From: gggor@io.com (gggor)

i
Hey Stang, I bet you forgot to pee on the gravesite before, during
and after the seeds were planted didn't you. Also if you had eaten
the seeds whole, then added your subsequent bowel movement to the
prepared gravesite you could have been assured of maximum growth.

This initial fertilization used to be done by Face-Fucking
Bats after they ate theseeds right out of the fropbuds when they opened
like stinky pinecones. Now the Yetsiny tract is just as efficaceous as the
bat's and can handle greater volumes, a distinct advantage. As for
the sick reaction, true frop is invariably cured in a yak-bladder
full of Gurupee to remove a string of nasty organic saccharides.
Your pee in a pig's bladder would probably work as well,
Sterno's pee is particularly effective, you might want to ask him
down for a weekend and make him drink a lot of beer
. You're lucky Sivet didn't hit early menopause as uncured frop is used
in Tibet to stop yaks from breeding.

Don't be disheatened though. Keep the same plot of ground,
turn it well and grind up the bones if there are any extant. Then process
the frop seeds through your digestive system, abstaining from liquor or
sex while they are passing through you and deposit them in the site.
Then you and your family (or those who are going to use the frop) must i
rrigate the plot by micturating on it on a very regular basis.

You ought to be thankful your lips didn't crack and fall
off right after your dick disappeared. Habafropzipulops is
like harmaline, ayahuasca ibogaine, the processes of both growing
and preparing are of paramount importance and there is no
room for slipshod or half-assed methods As you know we have
a large number of Tibetan holy men living in the Austin area
so we manage to keep our froplockers full.

GG(You don't have to call me 'Mister') Gordon.

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