I DID fuck myself working on that website. My immune system is BLOWN. I've been running a fever since last Wednesday and no one believes me. My lips are cracked like as unto Boris Karloff as THE MUMMY. I managed to make it through the Atlanta Dragon Con with flying colors, being polite to
hundreds of idiots, but at great cost. I'm now sick as a dog and leaving
for Chicago in the morning. Luckily, in Chicago I can mainly sit in the
dark like a whipped dog and watch movies. I pray.
The Dragon Con Evival was exemplary, sales at the dealer's table were okay
(Crux is paid off finally) and we achieved the long awaited mating with
GWAR so that soon there will be a penultimate GWAR-Church battle in
Richmond. Legume, Joe Mama, Susie the Floozy, and Janor all ranted their
best yet, and the Atlanta local amateurs had their moments of high
weirdness. Perhaps... maybe... for the first time in history... I MIGHT
actually get copies of the GOOD tapes of the show.
More on all this later.
So far I have gotten mainly gripes and nit-pickings about the SUBsite,
which I appreciate, and have fixed during this brief 24 hours at home,
sick and wounded as I am. PRAISE TARLA STAR for actually saying something nice about it. Tarla, you cannot imagine how much that means to me, as I spent 6 months and my health on it, and thus far you and a couple of other people have acknowledged its existence as anything besides an irritant. It was good to have someone say they liked it. Am I fishing for compliments?? YOU BETTER FUCKING BELIEVE IT. At this point I feel like I'm about to die in the gutter in poverty like Georges Melies. Nenslo will understand. Vreedees would understand. Only they have such a CAPACITY for self pity that might match mine.
Yours pukingly and shiveringly with fever,
The Miserable Stang
Copyright 1995 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (TarlaStar)
I find it amazing that ANYONE could find something to complain about
at this site. Anyone who's done any sort of HTML editing should
recognise the amount of work that's gone into the thing. It's
amazingly well organized, and the graphics are beautiful. I spent four
hours reading it the first time I dropped in. I may review it for
Netsurfer (if they give me the go-ahead). It's the perfect spot for
someone who is just dropping in to learn about the Church. All the
best threads of the last nine months are held there. I say, fuck
anyone who doesn't like it with rusty rebar.
Reverend Mutha Tarla, Little Sisters of the Perpetually Juicy,
A Proud Jism Schism of the Church of the SubGenius, Worshipping
"Connie" Dobbs and Juicy Retardo since 1986
From: email@example.com (John Searcy)
firstname.lastname@example.org (Modemac) wrote:
>I do have one problem with Stang's Web site: I can't get through to it
>with Lynx! The key connection there is to "smack Dobbs in the nose" to
>get into the good stuff, but because Lynx can't look at graphics, I'm
>left out in the cold.
Well, actually, poopie, you can STILL get to the good stuff! Just go
to"http://www.subgenius.com/fist.html" and you should be able
to progress from there in without having to further mess with any
nasty pictures. (Actually I was able to figure out that URL while it
was still "secret", just by guessing. But I will now stop bragging
like an schmuck and go to Japan instead.)
Just for the record, I think Stang's website is great! Especially the
poignant Bowl Earth section. I think I told him that, but I also
pointed out an error and offered him dead horse parts, so maybe
everything cancelled out. Or else I am dumb which is another
possibility. Regardless of that, I must now go to Asia for a month.
\\The John Searcy Page: http://rampages.onramp.net/~searcy, still with
\\the Gods & Monsters Dictionary plus a cooler new opening logo!
From: email@example.com (Rev. Leo Damascus)
>So far I have gotten mainly gripes and nit-pickings about the SUBsite,
>which I appreciate, and have fixed during this brief 24 hours at home,
>sick and wounded as I am.
These fleas of outdated micro-nationalist thought
will be re-educated to correctly thinking in line with our attainable
goal-structures! Praise to our illustious figure-head "Bob", and his
friend & sidekick, Stang! All harmonious production brigades sing your
praises, from the abundant paddies of the Dobbstown plateau, to the
soon-to-be-restructured Main Streets of Everytown!
> PRAISE TARLA STAR for actually saying something
>nice about it.
Tarla says nice things about nice things. It may sound pretty dirty the
way she sez them, but...<G>
> Am I fishing for compliments?? YOU BETTER FUCKING BELIEVE IT.
Nice website, Ivan. It is so dense, I haven't seen all of it, could
never hope to sound the stygian depths of its many links. I look upon it
and am confounded. Thou art as a cosmic naughty boy to we mere flies, we
who are at the mercy of thy artistic wit and rapid grasp of HTML. You
can leap tall buildings. We are all really envious of your
show-off-man's-ship. There's been talk of plots against you, to do away
with you so we wouldn't have to confront our own tepid inadequacies. You
make us look like some kind of talentless, ignorant, slobbering oaves,
and more than a few are watching you, waiting to make their moves, biding
their time. I've tried to talk them out of it, but, hey, there were more
of them than ther were of me, and they were crazed by their personal
shortcomings. And, well, hey, they have a point: you are just too damn
good at webpages. We can't allow that to go on.
There. Feel better?
>At this point I feel like I'm about to die
>in the gutter in poverty like Georges Melies.
Now, come on Ivan! You'll die in the getter with much more style than
Melies ever had! Buck up. I don't figger there's many who can do that
"terminal convulsion" thang that you do with the groupies. (Where did
you get that Medicalert that sez: "If patient found convulsing apply
fellatio continuously, and put a cigarette in his mouth"?)
With your panache, they'll be saying "...die, starving, in the gutter
like IVAN STANG..." for the next hundred years. And they'll add "Man,
what a show that was!!!".
Paranoiac Lodge | Foundation for Unearthing Concealed
To be one, |Knowledge of the Extraterrestrial Menace
follow one! | ****A United Front Organization ****
Oh, no! It's Rev Leo!!! Run, lock up the liquor, and hide the
livestock!!! Scratches on the film don't seem to affect him!
********Nobody's ever been gone this long before!**********
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