"Bob" was in My Mailbox!

By John Hattan (hattan@fastlane.net)
Date: Mon, 17 Apr 1995

Just this afternoon, my wife (the UberPopess) was sifting through the daily mail when I heard her exclaim "Praise Bob". There on the cover of _Games_ magazine (June 1995 to be exact) was a large head of "Bob" himself!

The picture itself is a glorious rendition of "Bob". The hair is impeccible. The pipe is unmistakable (although hanging from the left side of his mouth). The smile is hypnotic.

The theme is a father's day tribute. The head of "Bob" is surrounded by items that have the word "pop" in them (Popeye, Popcorn, etc.) It is only fitting that the pic of The Piped One be surrounded by meaningless clip art. It seems to be the natural setting for dobbsheads!

I feel that I should renew my subscription now! Any publication with enough slack to make "Bob" a cover-story deserves lots of my hard-earned cash!

Slack!
---
John Hattan High UberPopeness of the First Church of Shatnerology
The Code Zone Sweet Software for a Saturnine World
hattan@fastlane.net http://www.fastlane.net/homepages/hattan/hattan.html

---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: "Bob" was in my mailbox!
From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)

This raises a question in the back of my mind...

That head is Copyrighted (so we have a legal half-foothold to prevent the Con from turning the Church against itself)...wonder if Games used it legally...

Dubious Reverend of Games Magazine Pee Kitty --
Meow!

---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: "Bob" was in my mailbox!
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

This one sounds to me from Hattan's description (I haven't seen the mag yet) like just another psuedo-Bob... i.e., not the classic Dobbshead. 1950s Pipe-Guys have been a dime a dozen for the last several years. The Pinks seem to think they're "cute" or "funny." You see them on postcards, billboards, even battery commercials. Now, this one MIGHT BE a reprint of some old ad photo that Dobbs himself modeled for. There are still many of those floating around out there that we haven't archived. But we've gotten fairly picky about what constitutes an actual old photo of Dobbs. If there's no Pipe, or even if the pipe is dangling out the wrong side, sorry, that ain't The Man. There are some "Subs" who seem to think that any olf Brylcreamed, vapidly grinning idiot from old magazines is "Bob." A very few are. It doesn't do us any good to ask Dobbs -- he always responds as if to SOME OTHER QUESTION that somebody else may have asked him years ago, or that somebody will ask him in the future. (For awhile I thought his answers were random, like Zippy's, but they aren't -- they're just temporally dislocated.)

I'll probably see that mag in my local supermarket

--
Copyright 1995 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc. PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB

---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: "Bob" was in my mailbox!
From: shc_labs@ix.netcom.com (Dr. Lafe Kowabunga)

In <i.stang-2104951401510001@net217.metronet.com> i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) writes:
>There are some "Subs" who seem to think that any olf Brylcreamed, vapidly grinning idiot from old magazines is "Bob."

Those would be pictures of me, before while ago but after later.

Lafe

Official Concert Sound Provider for Dokstock '95

** bring your earplugs and some adult diapers **

'frop, too

and Stag beer, if want to
------------------------------------------ Subject: Re: "Bob" was in my mailbox!
From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <3nel3r$h5e@dfw.nkn.net>, hattan@fastlane.net (John Hattan) wrote:
ii.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:

>>In article <pkittyD7C5s8.nw@netcom.com>, pkitty@netcom.com (Purple
Kitty) wrote:

>>>John Hattan (hattan@fastlane.net) wrote: : Just this afternoon, my wife (the UberPopess) was sifting through the : daily mail when I heard her exclaim "Praise Bob". There on the cover of : _Games_ magazine (June 1995 to be exact) was a large head of "Bob" : himself!

>>>This raises a question in the back of my mind...

>>>That head is Copyrighted (so we have a legal half-foothold to prevent the Con from turning the Church against itself)...wonder if Games used it legally...

>>This one sounds to me from Hattan's description (I haven't seen the mag yet) like just another psuedo-Bob... i.e., not the classic Dobbshead. 1950s Pipe-Guys have been a dime a dozen for the last several years. The Pinks seem to think they're "cute" or "funny." You see them on postcards, billboards, even battery commercials. Now, this one MIGHT BE a reprint of some old ad photo that Dobbs himself modeled for. There are still many of those floating around out there that we haven't archived. But we've gotten fairly picky about what constitutes an actual old photo of Dobbs. If there's no Pipe, or even if the pipe is dangling out the wrong side, sorry, that ain't The Man. There are some "Subs" who seem to think that any olf Brylcreamed, vapidly grinning idiot from old magazines is "Bob." A

>>[SnippitySnip ]

>No, it was not the same friggin' piece of B&W clipart that you trademarked to be the logo of the Foundation! It was a color photo of the head of a smiling EveryMan with a giant pipe dangling from his mouth. The head was morphed into a rather triangular shape so the forehead appeared gigantic compared to the chin.

>[ begin Hate ]

>I just thought it was kinda cute! I just thought it looked kinda like "Bob"!

(((WELL THEN WHY'D YA SAY IT >WAS< "BOB"?

>[ Hate growing ]

>Jeez, Stang. . .perhaps you should have a "Bob"-verification process so you can properly license the official "Dobbs-approved" head! Microsoft's got one for Windows(tm), so I guess the CotSG can't be too far behind :-)

>[ Hate approaching apogee ]

>So go ahead then. . .put "subs" in quotes when you refer to "people like me". . .Continue in your own little fashion of singling out people into little collections of your own design.

>[ HateGasm! ]

>But worst of all, I'VE BEEN READING THIS FRIGGIN' NEWSGROUP SINCE 1991 SO SOME USENET NEWBIE LIKE YOU CAN CALL ME A FALSE SUB IN PUBLIC?! I think not, StangBoy. . .the next time you feel the need to criticize random NewsLurkers, you should look no further than your own mouse!. . Sheesh!

>[ Hate afterglow ]

>And I actually bought all of your books (even "3 fisted tales"). :-)

WOW!!

WHEW!!!

That was GREAT! I almost CAME TOO! But, uh... I wasn't refering to you. Not that your rant was exactly WASTED, but it was based entirely on a total miscommunication. There ARE some "Subs" who seem to think that any old Brylcreamed, vapidly grinning idiot from old magazines is "Bob." I didn't say YOU were one of those. I was saying that what you described sounded like a NEAR-"Bob" but was probably not HIM. Perhaps I should have made clearer that the quoted "Subs" unquote that I was dissing tend to look at ANY 50s guy, not even a NEAR-"Bob," not even a REMOTELY-NEAR-"Bob," but LITERALLY ANY 50s GUY, and call him "BOB." You're being OVERLY SENSITIVE to my LACK OF CLARITY! (I'll admit, I only went off the pain pills a couple of days ago.) I mistakenly tend to assume that EVERYBODY runs into those "Subs" as REALLY undiscerning as the ones I was dissing. Probably you don't run into as many REAL REAL BRAIN-DAMAGED "Subs" as I do, and you assumed that I must be talking about you, just because you were the only one AROUND as far as you could see, and I was suddenly blabbering about the ones you don't see (lucky you). Anyway, I wasn't and am't putting you or your TrueDobbs Discernmanship down. Your speculations had merely prompted me to reminisce and then rant peevishly about a quasi-related subject. You would too, if you had to deal with 'em. Rev. Hattan, I APOLOGIZE IN VIEW OF ALL, and DECLARE THAT WITHOUT QUESTION, YOU'RE one of the ELECT!!! I haven't forgotten the yaks we've had after shows in the past and I never thought of you as a geek but rather as a hale fellow well met. I sincerely hope you haven't spent too long fuming about this, and I'm glad I decided to peek at this post despite my having sworn earlier that I wasn't going to look at ANY.

But it did cause quite a hearty rant of indignation from you! Praise Dobbs for THAT at least. Your letting off steam like that probably saved the lives of others.

Besides, I would NEVER be so insulting to ANY particular person, PUBLICALLY, like that, except for that Obadiah jerk and he was REALLY asking for it. Or Nenslo, that lying bastard.

Your Prayer Partner

Rev. Stang

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