"Bob"'s teaching

From: "Budec" <budec@qwest.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Sep 23, 2001 9:50 PM
Message-ID: <Xjwr7.486$lI1.732261@news.uswest.net>

What shalt "Bob" say in the book of the SubGenius on finding a suitable mate to
take apon the space craft? Mmmmm pink women, I shalt save one of them.

Regards,
Jack
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Subject: Re: "Bob"'s teaching
From: modemac@modemac.com (Modemac)

The general rule seems to be that a SubGenius couple cannot stay
together. Due to the uniqueness of each SubGenius, they end up coming
apart in one way or another. (Andreux and Sikki are currently
exceptions to the rule.)

Of course, if you want to keep a few of the Pinks alive as sex slaves,
then that's your business.
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Subject: Re: "Bob"'s teaching
From: "Mikkel de Winther" <mikkel-wNO@SPAMworldonline.dk>

Dibs on that Britney one!

m.
--
Movie quote of the day:
"Anything else? Perhaps you'd like an 11-year-old prostitute delivered to
your room? We CAN do that. Or maybe you'd like us to off someone for you. Or
why don't we just start simple? Would you like a fresh towel? Maybe you can
roll that up and smoke it. Oh hey, Cheech! That credit card you guys gave me
last night was maxed out so don't go spending all your cash on needles and
guns"
(Road Trip)
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Subject: Re: "Bob"'s teaching
From: "Dr. Klaus von Idol" <vrolok@vectorstar.net>

>
> Of course, if you want to keep a few of the Pinks alive as sex
> slaves, then that's your business.

Yeah, generally. Unless they're long lost true Yeti mates (Revelation
X, Chapter 6, p. 67). That's a shot in the dark, though, and you won't
find that true mate in ANY pink.

--
The Church of the SubGenius - http://www.subgenius.com

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Subject: Re: "Bob"'s teaching
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Mon, Sep 24, 2001 11:05 AM
Message-ID: <3BAF4B9F.31F6@succeeds.com>

Mikkel de Winther wrote:
>
> "Modemac" <modemac@modemac.com> wrote in message
> news:b71f73eb.0109240400.434ccacb@posting.google.com...
> >
> > Of course, if you want to keep a few of the Pinks alive
> > as sex slaves, then that's your business.
>
> Dibs on that Britney one!
>

Sorry, kevbob long ago asserted ownership. However, since
he's not here to defend her, you can use her for a while.

From my point of view, however, I see the retention of pinks
as something of a weakness, a deviance. I certainly wouldn't
appreciate some Yeti bringing his pet pink to a dinner party
that I was hosting, even if he made it enter through the back
and eat in the kitchen with the robots.

I advocate that they should all be deleted retroactively,
using time control to prune them from the evolutionary tree.
So far, agents have reduced their numbers by a staggering
three fourths, simply by replacing their historical leaders
with vicious and murderous tyrants. However, the law of
diminishing returns make it considerably more difficult to
prune further without endangering Yetisyny lives.

Be that as it may, whence cometh X-Day,
If the Holocaustal philosophy holds sway,
Then many pinks shall die that day.
And we shall be rid of their plague forever.

--
"Nature abhors a peasant. You will soon see
a violent demonstration of this fact."
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Subject: Re: "Bob"'s teaching
From: priestesspisces@hotmail.com (Priestess Pisces)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Sep 24, 2001 11:53 AM
Message-ID: <2bdc07f4.0109240753.49e01f40@posting.google.com>

"Budec" <budec@qwest.net> wrote in message news:<Xjwr7.486$lI1.732261@news.uswest.net>...
> What shalt "Bob" say in the book of the SubGenius on finding a suitable mate to
> take apon the space craft? Mmmmm pink women, I shalt save one of them.
>
> Regards,
> Jack

Jack-
hell if i know i am still looking for some yeti for scrumpin' who
doesnt live like a gazillion miles from these here mountains..
Sigh you know.. the peace and quiet is nice.. even with the
interuptions of the crackeaded rooster near by.. but the place is just
full of pinks, and redneck ones at that.. conversions here may be a
lots cause.. and why bother.. there are so many lovely Overmen and
Uberfemmes to choose from..they just aint local.

My advice jack-
Dont settle for pink meat.
pink pr0n maybe .. pink poontang nah..

Pisces
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Subject: Re: "Bob"'s teaching
From: "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org>

> Sorry, kevbob long ago asserted ownership. However, since
> he's not here to defend her, you can use her for a while.

I hope whoever gets her makes her do something *really interesting* with
that snake she's got on her shoulders in that picture Yahoo keeps showing.

How much would you have to enlarge a snake to make its sexual organ big
enough to painfully violate a human female, anyway?

> From my point of view, however, I see the retention of pinks
> as something of a weakness, a deviance. I certainly wouldn't
> appreciate some Yeti bringing his pet pink to a dinner party
> that I was hosting, even if he made it enter through the back
> and eat in the kitchen with the robots.

The ones I plan to keep - or at least make organocloneotic copies of - will
not be "pets" in any real sense of the word, and will not be attending
dinner parties, save perhaps as part of the furniture. Hopefully, after a
few decades (subjective) of experimentation in pain tolerance and attempts
to figure out if a Pink can actually *die* of shame, I will have worked out
my issues and will just jettison whatever's left into the nearest
Intergalactic Rest Stop's discharge basin.

> I advocate that they should all be deleted retroactively,
> using time control to prune them from the evolutionary tree.
> So far, agents have reduced their numbers by a staggering
> three fourths, simply by replacing their historical leaders
> with vicious and murderous tyrants. However, the law of
> diminishing returns make it considerably more difficult to
> prune further without endangering Yetisyny lives.

I will not mind losing my little toys if you can make this work. Otherwise,
I promise to keep them out of your sight.

St. Marc
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Subject: Re: "Bob"'s teaching
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Sep 24, 2001 1:26 PM
Message-ID: <240920011326228433%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <b71f73eb.0109240400.434ccacb@posting.google.com>, Modemac
<modemac@modemac.com> wrote:

> "Budec" <budec@qwest.net> wrote in message
> news:<Xjwr7.486$lI1.732261@news.uswest.net>...
> > What shalt "Bob" say in the book of the SubGenius on finding a suitable
> > mate to
> > take apon the space craft? Mmmmm pink women, I shalt save one of them.

By all means, save as many Pinks as possible for our off planet Zoos
and whatnot. NO species should be made COMPLETELY extinct, not even
puff adders and humans.

But none need worry about mates after X-Day -- we'll all be Brides of
"Bob"! Also, we'll get those Sex Goddess contraptions, and a really
cool free gift, they haven't said what that is yet.

>
> The general rule seems to be that a SubGenius couple cannot stay
> together. Due to the uniqueness of each SubGenius, they end up coming
> apart in one way or another. (Andreux and Sikki are currently
> exceptions to the rule.)

The exceptions are the True Yeti Mates. Rare, but unmistakeable.

Modemac, I know of several SubGenius couples that have been very happy
together for umpteen years. As many as have broken up. The ones that
are together just don't make a lot of NOISE about it. Bad news always
gets more attention than good news.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
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Subject: Re: "Bob"'s teaching
From: opalpeacok@aol.com.net (Salacia the Overseer)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Sep 24, 2001 2:35 PM
Message-ID: <20010924143521.01388.00000527@mb-fz.aol.com>

Ivan Stang said,

> Also, we'll get those Sex Goddess contraptions, and a really
>cool free gift, they haven't said what that is yet.>>

If it's a Franklin Mint plate with that picture of the eagle with a tear in
it's eye, I won't go, unless I get to smash it over the artist's head.

Headmistress Salacia the Overseer
Branch Salacians
Director of Programming, Keeper of the Seven Squeals, keanuphobe
http://www.members.aol.com/opalpeacok/TheCompound.html
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: "Bob"'s teaching
From: "Rabbi Jacklyn Hyde" <rabbs@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Sep 24, 2001 4:49 PM
Message-ID: <7%Mr7.136$7d.29616@newshog.newsread.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:240920011326228433%stang@subgenius.com...
> In article <b71f73eb.0109240400.434ccacb@posting.google.com>, Modemac
> <modemac@modemac.com> wrote:
>
> > "Budec" <budec@qwest.net> wrote in message
> > news:<Xjwr7.486$lI1.732261@news.uswest.net>...
> > > What shalt "Bob" say in the book of the SubGenius on finding a
suitable
> > > mate to
> > > take apon the space craft? Mmmmm pink women, I shalt save one of
them.
>
> > The general rule seems to be that a SubGenius couple cannot stay
> > together. Due to the uniqueness of each SubGenius, they end up coming
> > apart in one way or another. (Andreux and Sikki are currently
> > exceptions to the rule.)
> >
> Modemac, I know of several SubGenius couples that have been very happy
> together for umpteen years. As many as have broken up. The ones that
> are together just don't make a lot of NOISE about it. Bad news always
> gets more attention than good news.
>
Considering the blissfully happily married source of this last post, I'm
inclined to agree with Stang. Granted, I'VE sworn off Yeti flesh, it
probably wouldn't take much to change my mind under the correct
circumstances (perhaps the correct amount and type of flesh?).

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Original file name: "Bob"'s teaching - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:27