Which brings me to address something head-on in my first online
rant which I wasn't quite ready for, but now seems like the only time.
And this is the terribly complex but utterly meaningless problem of
PRIVELEGE. For I consider myself lucky just to be around at all in any
capacity, EVEN IF that capacity is not to KNOW anything at all! And
things seem to be going real well for me here, in every facet of my life,
since "Bob" soldered me onto the SubGenius 'circuit.' My sex life has
taken on dimensions I've never dreamed of but once, when that space
succubus landed in my bedroom. I now have sex when I need it but don't
have to worry about it when I don't. I'm so busy I might as WELL be
studying! Here at college, instead of reading the New York Times I read
Metaphysics for breakfast and it's funnier! Classes provide infinite
opportunities to sneak Sacred Jests into the minds of hundreds of people
a day, and let me tell you its had results. Women classmates invite me
into their coterie, sometimes fighting themselves over which one will
carry my books out to the fire escape for a make out session, thanks to
the fightin' pheremones of SexHurt! And it's all scientific, so the
losers needn't worry, I'll get them next week.
But, brothers and sisters, all is not fun and games here. The
subject I study is philosophy and it is a cold and sterile discipline and
I might not survive it. Studying all this garbage involves so much
reading that your eyes might go blind, and it's so dense I have to read
Old Testament stories for comic relief! And of course this is the Big
Apple, after all-on the hour long train ride from school to home(I have
to live that far out to keep the MIB's off my back) the simpleist little
thing as a six-footer blasting rap in a subway car where its just YOU and
HIM, can turn into one of the most paranoid episodes of your life. And
survival instincts like these are tested almost all day, EVERY DAY, 24-7,
and it never stops, and there's noplace to rest, except within the
comforts of your own delusions, in bed, or in your grave! And you get
barely a chance to breathe and when you do its mostly exhaust fumes, and
between classes and my job I nearly starve daily simply because I haven't
enough time to sit down to a proper meal!
But I haven't gotten to the punch line yet. In previous years in
New York City I was plagued with the lingering spectre of PRIVELEGE, like
somehow I was the beneficiary of privelege I didn't deserve because I
made it to college and kinda even enjoy it. Mainly because I look around
me at the city scape and see that I have more material wealth than any
homeless person could ever dream of posessing, and I felt like I should
somehow GIVE IT ALL UP just to make amends with the 'lesser fortunate,'
to understand 'the other.' Besides I am a SubGenius so I was dumb enough
to notice that, If you want to learn ANYTHING AT ALL, college just ISN'T
THE PLACE FOR IT.
What I was doing I now realise, Praisse "Bob"! I was slumming!
I wanted to CHUM around with the less fortunate but was less fortunate
than they ever are, because I didn't realize that I never COULD fit in
with them. Upon reflection, I don't even see why I would WANT to!
Because look-if I wasn't compromising and whoring myself to an academic
lie I would be forced to compromise and whore myself to a conspiracy job
SOLELY! At least here at school I get to devote much of my time to
psychobabble that doesn't mean SHIT! In the real world I might have to
actually UNDERSTAND SOMETHING MEANINGFUL. Besides, I get to logon to
alt.slack and take up as much time at their expense as I want and I see
that as a plus. AND I GET TO GAZE UPON A HUGE POSTER OF DOBBS AMONGST
THRONGS OF UNKNOWING GLORPS EVERY DAY! So piss off anyone who wants to
cop that attitute on the basis of privelege is hollow and shallow and not
truly Sub. If any so-called SubGenius would rather I give up all of this
gloriously free slack and go back to working at the 7-11 in my backwards
hick hometown I would urge them to let "Bob" back into their life,
because I DID, and a TRUE SubGenius TAKES what they DESERVE no matter how
many Pink bodies he or she has to step over to do it!
At first I was scared by my own thinking when I realised how
cut-throat it seems. BUT BETTER ISHOULD HAVE ALL THIS SLACK THAN SOME
PINK BOY CONSPIRACY DUPE who would take the degree and use it to make
Star Wars toys that would probably blow up the planet just before XDay.
All I want is to be "Not Responsible" for THREE MORE YEARS. Maybe I'll
repent after that, and join a monastary. But it will be a monastary on
Venus. And I'll use my birthday suit as vestments. AND THE GODDESS will
be worshipping ME and not the OTHER WAY 'ROUND. And, brothers and
sisters, J.R. "Bob" Dobbs is just the excuse I've been looking for. To
quote Brother Burt Lancaster as Elmer Gantry, "I'm on my way, Glory
Halleluiah, I'm on my way!" Praise "Bob."
Kid Ginsu
---------
A Lie and a 'Ho.'
-----------------------------------------------------------
From: ricky@nerix.nerdc.ufl.edu (Pizza Jesus)
In article <3l7hmf$cpa@cmcl2.NYU.EDU>,
jch9334@is2.nyu.edu (Kid Ginsu) wrote:
:
: But I haven't gotten to the punch line yet. In previous years in
: New York City I was plagued with the lingering spectre of PRIVELEGE, like
: somehow I was the beneficiary of privelege I didn't deserve because I
: made it to college and kinda even enjoy it.
You deserve ANYTHING you can lay your hands on and drag home. Remember,
the high-up mucka-mucka's who OWN this country don't think for a minute
about whether they *deserve* what they have. Hell! They INHERITED it
all FAIR and SQUARE didn't they? Does Bill Gates ever stop to think
whether he *deserves* to be the wealthiest S.O.B. west of the Mississippi?
No! He spends his time thinking about how to screw his competitors
with a chain saw.
Does ANYONE with *big* *bucks* say, "Yeah, I was lucky enough to be
there at the right time and lucky enough to have rich parents to
buy me what I needed to get started." No! They say they "worked hard"
and struggled to get their Harvard MBA.
BALONEY! Do you KNOW HOW MANY people in this country "work hard"
and they've got the PRESTIGOUS credentials and everything else, yet
STILL they're just getting by?!?! Hint: A LOT and I've seen 'em.
LIFE IS A FRIGGIN' CRAP SHOT and if the DICE fall in your FAVOR, then
TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN!!!
: So piss off anyone who wants to
: cop that attitute on the basis of privelege is hollow and shallow and not
: truly Sub. If any so-called SubGenius would rather I give up all of this
: gloriously free slack and go back to working at the 7-11 in my backwards
: hick hometown I would urge them to let "Bob" back into their life,
: because I DID, and a TRUE SubGenius TAKES what they DESERVE no matter how
: many Pink bodies he or she has to step over to do it!
YOU'VE GOT IT! YOU'VE GOT IT! Take what you deserve because NO ONE
is going to hand it over to you and pat you on the back and say "Here!"
and "Well done!" and "You deserve this!"
You don't have to actively EXPLOIT people for your own gain and
advancement -- in fact, exploiting people is just about the only
Anti-Sub thing I can think of. BUT you CAN take ADVANTAGE of
situations and take ADVANTAGE of the "system" and BEND the rules
in your favor and engage in every form of COUNTER-EXPLOITATION
you can think of. That means NOT being exploited and in fact
REVERSE-EXPLOITING whatever relationship you're in.
These techniques of reverse-explotation and counter-exploitation
would involve things like DOING THE MINIMUM and NOT GETTING CAUGHT
GOOFING OFF. Hell! Will you be PAID MORE if you WORKED MORE?
NO NO NO NO NO! The average Conspiracy Wage Slave is paid a fixed
salary or a fixed hourly wage AND THERE'S NO INCENTIVE for him or
her to CLEAN MORE DISHES or WRITE LONGER MEMOS or whatever.
If you were WORKING for YOURSELF, then you'd have an incentive.
But do you think your boss is going to share his bonus with YOU?
HELL NO! Whatever extra work the boss can get out of you goes
STRAIGHT into HIS POCKET.
Well, PUT SOME TIME in YOUR OWN pocket!
: At first I was scared by my own thinking when I realised how
: cut-throat it seems.
Read Machiavelli. Or Baltazar Gracian...
: BUT BETTER I SHOULD HAVE ALL THIS SLACK THAN SOME
: PINK BOY CONSPIRACY DUPE who would take the degree and use it to make
: Star Wars toys that would probably blow up the planet just before XDay.
You got it!
: All I want is to be "Not Responsible" for THREE MORE YEARS. Maybe I'll
: repent after that, and join a monastary. But it will be a monastary on
: Venus. And I'll use my birthday suit as vestments. AND THE GODDESS will
: be worshipping ME and not the OTHER WAY 'ROUND. And, brothers and
: sisters, J.R. "Bob" Dobbs is just the excuse I've been looking for. To
: quote Brother Burt Lancaster as Elmer Gantry, "I'm on my way, Glory
: Halleluiah, I'm on my way!" Praise "Bob."
Praise "Bob." Maybe you'll make a fortune in plastics or herbal tea
or trendy ice cream or maybe you'll become a Guru of Slack and
*teach* *people* to relax and enjoy life.
....................TEAR.ALONG.THE.DOTTED.LINE.....................
Epopt of the Exploding Head of JFK. Licensed to blaspheme the Gods
My skull is bigger on the inside than the outside!
Send $1 to SubGenius Foundation, P.O. Box 140306, Dallas TX 75214
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Original file name: Ginsu's Privilege"Bob"photo pt2
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