Here's an intersting piece of late-breaking news for you-
Clinton recently fires the surgeon general for saying that she
thought school children should be taught that masturbation isn't a bad thing.
Now, of course every good Subgenius knows that. But yea, as it
says in the Book, any "illicit" sexual act (ie, not for-procreation-only,
missionary-position) generates a local field of Slack, which may activate
the latent Yeti genes within any child being concieved in the area.
Therefore, this act of continued advocacy that masturbation,
should it be done at all, it should be done with guilt (all but negating
the Slack), should be taken as a DIRECT ATTEMPT TO REDUCE THE NUMBERS OF
SUBGENIUS CHILDREN BEING BORN.
The solution is simple. We have to make up for the losses that
this firing might have caused; engaging in oozing and squirting like our
VERY RACE DEPENDED ON IT, which actually, it does. I know y'all pretty
much already do alot of it already, but clearly, not enough.
Get to it, right NOW.
UBERMistress Nickie commands
YOU!
---Rev. Nickie Deathchick
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Subject: Re: MASTURBATION & NHGH
From: sbjohnston@aol.com
Please, allow me to accept the command, UBERMistress! I feel I MUST do
my part, no matter how much I might enjoy it.
Steve The Reverend Doktor S-bo sbjohnston@aol.com
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Subject: Re: MASTURBATION & NHGH
From: house127@teleport.com (127 House)
I can only agree with this thread. Heck, the Canobite family must have
named me Onan for some good reason. They could tell. And it's true.
There should be some saucy stories in the sex newsgroups with "Bob" and
Connie as the main characters. I'll be looking for them.
The censored sections of my SubGenius take on majic (reprinted in small
part as WE ACCEPT YOU WE ACCEPT YOU ONE OF US ONE OF US in Revelation X)
contains some oozquirt info -- it will appear as the 3rd Book of Onan
some day soon.
Single-handedly managing this solo clench until schism, I remain
REV. DR. ONAN CANOBITE
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