X-DAY

art by REVMAC

As it says in REVELATION X of our rival religious extremists, "It's not that they love God so much, it's that they love the idea of the rest of us burning in HELL."

And those kooks think their "Hell" is so baaaad. WE'LL show 'em some "HELL!" Because, when you get right down to it, it ain't that we love "Bob" so much -- it's that we SAVOR, SLOBBERINGLY, the prospect of Them undergoing X-DAY.

The violent, involuntary ins and outs of X-Day are delineated in our books as well as in Online Pamphlet #2 (available free at this website). What follow are some interesting discussions and speculations concerning the nuts-and-bolts aspects of That Frabjous Day.

But you want to know,"WHERE will the MAIN 1998 X-Day PARTY/Gathering/Dokstok BE HELD? The MAIN one, anyway, in the U.S.?" Every year through 7-5-98, we will hold X-Day Drills at a SPECIAL CAMPGROUND in RURAL NEW YORK STATE. The '96 X-Day Drill was a huge success and is covered in our gigantic report, complete with naked pictures and squid sex. HOW DO YOU GET IN? Become a $30 Church minister.

HINT: The price of a Ministership will continue to skyrocket whether we ever publish another STARK FIST magazine on the mud plane, OR NOT. And we will feel NO GUILT, because we know what that flimsy little cardboard Membership Card is WORTH, in the long run. YOU WILL KNOW that, in the long run, we saved your soul... even if we do end up wrecking your bank account in the meantime. You'll still be getting off EASY.