The Death of 'BOB' intro

There is really very little to say about the WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "ANTICHRIST?" document. To the discerning SubGenius, it speaks for itself. I hope it is obvious that this is not a publication of sacred Church doctrine; rest assured that it also is not a prank or put-on by any Church Hierarchite. You find this curiousity under our imprint solely because literally no one else would print it; it was turned down by almost every national magazine in the country, and by countless weeklies and newspapers. We do, however, feel that it is our duty to Church Members not to withhold any possible evidence which could be of help in bringing "Bob's" real killers to justice... even if it not only conflicts with our own findings, but even impugns guilt on our part. WE have nothing to hide.

The young man who brought this to us -- who is, incidentally, not to be confused with Doug Allen of The Young Technocrats, a noble SubGenius Clench -- insisted that we print his manuscript exactly as he brought it to us, mistakes and typos included. We were not to tamper with it in any way; that was his only condition. (He didn't even ask for money.) I think it represents an earnest attempt to ferret out the truth in an incredibly complex case, but it is also shot through with such misconceptions as I can only call downright sad. He describes his frustration in trying to interview me at our "Trans-America Pyramid Headquarters" in San Francisco, for instance; that's only our Northern California Branch! Why he would expect to find me there, I don't know. (I was in Dallas, deep in mourning, and trying to comfort "Connie," for his information!) To my knowledge he never once wrote to us at our rather UNsecret P.O. Box; we could have saved him many wild goose chases. As for my "not believing in Dobbs until after he was killed," all I can say is this: I shall let my record speak for me.

And as for his wild ramblings about a "Project Mellow Bob" and files full of plans for the assassination, in some (noticeably unnamed) "Conspiracy headquarters" -- I find it hard to believe that any branch of the Conspiracy I know of would be smart enough to come up with a plan like that, much less to pull it off.

For me, to tell the truth, most of these arguments have become quite moot. I have decided that "Bob" is not dead. I know, I know; for TWO YEARS I was firmly convinced that I had seen him die. And I still am. I can't explain it; I have no real 'evidence' whatsoever. I know I saw "Atwell" (why Doug Allan insisted on changing names around, I don't know; some sort of collusion?) fire bullets into "Bob" -- or, perhaps, merely "a" "Bob" -- but nevertheless, in the last few months I have somehow come to "know" Dobbs is around again . Maybe he was never gone; maybe he was gone and returned in secret. But I know he is back. I don't have any idea at all why I know; perhaps that, in itself, more than anything else, is what has convinced me.

In closing, I ought to mention that Mr. Allan got the title for his piece from a poster done by Kerry Thornley -- himself an accomplice of Lee Harvey Oswald in the late 1950s!! I can't tell you what this means. Maybe nothing. The only solid answer I've gotten on anything since "Bob's" "death" was that there would never be any. At least, not until that day, that day that I know will be soon, when He will come knocking on our doors, grinning, ready to have a nice long chat over a bowl of 'Frop. Any minute now, I think.

Rev. Ivan Stang
Sacred Scribe #273