While driving back to Cleveland from Brushwood on Sunday night, I was listening to the audio tapes of the Drill on the car tape deck. Just outside of Warren, Ohio, I had finished hearing a Papa Joe Mama X-Day rant and ejected the cassette to flip it over -- at which point the car radio automatically kicked in, tuned mostly to static since I was so far from any Cleveland stations that it was tuned to. BUT THROUGH THE STATIC, I COULD STILL HEAR PAPA JOE MAMA'S VOICE, RANTING ABOUT X-DAY.
After a moment of severe cognitive disonance, I realized that it was 9:30 on Sunday night, and I was hearing THE HOUR OF SLACK (#534, X-Day Special) from the distant WCSB in Cleveland.
That was how my X-Day Drill weekend ended in 1996.
((Version for sale is uncut (all cussing remains). COPY of this was edited to make "clean" radio copies. Sales copies are closer to orig. tape.))
Stang intro with Outer Limits music bg, then SWINGING LOVE CORPSES first warm-up jam from Drill:
"We're BACK from the X-Day Drill at Brushwood Folklore Center campground in Sherman, NY; we're burnt, toasted, crisped... NOT from frapping, unfortunately, but from recording, logging and dubbing, and crucifying and baptising, and the Drill was from our standpoint a HUGE success -- we made a little money, we learned what NOT to do on the real X-Day... We captured TONS of good music and preaching, and we GAVE the BOBBIES their $25 worth, in the form of Slack, violence, pils, naked male and female flesh, the scourging of Jesus, and the Crucifiction of Dobbs.
It was in fact SUCH an intense weekend that only about a dozen people were able to drag themselves out of their hangovers for the 7 AM Sunday morning Church Services and Simulation Rupture... we KNOW now who takes this stuff SERIOUSLY, and... it ain't many.
We are currently in the strenuous process of culling down the 10 hours of tape into one 2-hour video and oh, maybe the next 3 Hours of Slack, starting with this week's, #536, and there will be color pictures aplenty on SubSITE of such wonders as:
The all-nude baptism in the swimming pool, conducted by Jesus and Dr. Legume;
Sister Susie the Floozie having her way with a Prairie Squid;
Dr. Legume mutilating his own FACE;
The Dobbs Effigy burning on a cross in the presence of NHGH, JFK, Satan, the Greys, and the whole crowd;
The execution of one of my illegitimate wives following my kidnapping;
and power-packed preaching and music by Rev. Bill T. Miller, The Swinging Love Corpses, Papa Joe Mama, Susie the Floozie, Andrew the Impaled, St. @ndrew, JHVH Hates Phred, Rev. Nickie Deathchick, Dr. Dynasoar, Steve Slack, Sister Tarla Starr, Rev. Pee Kitty, and many many more.
There were free Pils, actual UFO sightings, suspense, nudity, weird altars, sacrifices, dead folks, tons of sacred Dobbsgood for sale and ALL TOLD, IT WAS A BLAST!!"
SWINGING LOVE CORPSES WARM-UP JAM INSTRUMENTAL
Drill Open: Jesus reports on Fire Thief who stole wood from pagans... Legume checks armbands for payees... "Put your money where your hands are, people..." makes the audience all show their wristbands.
Stang (Jesus on stage too, Friday nite) -- discusses the Sunday morning 7 am drill...
BILL T. MILLER THE KING OF SLACK
*"X-Day's A-Comin' and the Pinks Are Bummin'" cont. Rant on X-Day, and Leary... "Turn on, tune in and SLACK OFF" SUPERB Millerian clip from Sat. night.
Stang Rant: (Friday night, Tape 2) describes the Dallas contingent's visit to the Rainbow Gathering, how full of LUV they were -- and what hypocricy. How they think they'll defeat Babylon without MONEY. Improv rant on the need for $ in fighting the Con, how you can't just "withdraw from the world". Your faith in "Bob" proved by your MONEY. You can be the best SG artist, you can give your children, but he needs your MONEY. How to fight something as big as the Con? You don't need much brains to fake out the Con, good thing for us... on the folly of bombing Federal buildings, making a target of yourself. We need $ for nuclear weapons... we do have a FEW, but need more. How many Disneylands are there? Sure, we could wait two years, but let's try to impress "Bob" by making enough $ to buy the Conspiracy from itself.
LEGUME in camouflage make-up warns crowd of local fundamentalists in the woods... "Subdue them at once... also, the mother of one of Rev. Stang's illegitimate children is here... we'll be on top of the situation here..."
PAPA JOE MAMA rant re: Independence Day.
The nature of democracy and the Amer. Revolution... ""Bob" gave his life in 1984... he CHOSE to allow that bullet to zigzag through his body several times so he could die repepeatedly for our freedom. It's Independence from the Con and the Pinks. What is our duty? More than to stockpile weapons, grit our teeth, sharpen knives... to BEAR WITNESS. Our job is to WATCH their sins because later, our great grandchildren will grow up free of Pinks and will ask what it was all about... and they'll ask "Why did you do it? WAS IT NECESSARY??" You must say YES, and explain to them WHY! YES!!! YES!!! ... (if only people would leave me alone while I try to log this shit!!!!) on the movie Independence Day. We want them to think they'll repel the Xist invasion! On the credits : Doug Smith special fx supervisor... So let us join hands in remembrance. ..."
LEGUME on the movie... "If they have no hope, what is there for us to CRUSH? And when they rally around the flag, we'll be able to get a shitload of them with one shot. People have died for that flag... and more will."
DR. DYNASOAR & Steve Slack -- "BOB DOBBS THE MYSTIC SALESMAN" (to the tune of Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner)
BILL T. MILLER 1
*Turn on, tune in and Slack Off...
*"X-Day's A-Comin' and the Pinks Are Bummin'"
"YOU RANG?" -- Bill T. Miller & Ivan Stang, Sat. night in hellish collaboration: YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE THE EYES....
Stang: "One of you here is working for the Conspiracy... don't spread panic... The schedule is: 7 am Church services..." Legume: "10 people here will die. Pray you are one of them..." Stang on the democracy of the event & stage... the Prairie Squid tent... Q&A re Squid... the Safe Sex booth...
LEGUME AND THE BREASTS OF "DRUM"
Legume in Priest Robes lets Drum (Brushwood staff gal) demonstrate BREASTS to Bobbies. "These are called breasts. Many of you have never seen them before today, and will never see them again after tomorrow. Don't feel shy about staring... What sets her apart from you is that she's gonna get to bed down a women tonight."
THE KIDNAPPING and KILLING
Strange Snake Dance wotan music, Joe Mama announces that Rev. Stang has been kidnapped, hauled away by leather clad woman with ATF tags...? Joe Mama tries to maintain calm.....
Pagan leather-clad topless Anomie has Stang tied up behind four-flushers... SLAK squad disarms Anomie, holds her down... "Someone jump on top of her!"
-- Stang is freaking... "It's alright, she's just disturbed." Legume asks if she should live or die. "Kill it." Legume blows her away. "Jesus Christ... I was just kidding! I just wanted to scare her! Legume, are you fucking NUTS?" Jesus: "Everybody sign their waiver?"
Stang on stage: "She was just a poor crazy woman... it's all right... go home to your tents and cell blocks... she's just a poor sad crazy woman... it was just a satire... just like Mad Magazine. Performance art, that's all it was..."
GREAT JAM MUSIC...
LEGUME brings Anomie onstage... "Rev. Stang's alleged assailant is in custody. As an example we will show you how we deal with all who dare cross the church..." Starts to shoot her, she apologizes... "and that makes it okay." She flees. "It was all just a drill... just a little fun... " Legume does rant re: the Conspiracy abductions that would probably happen. "But next time... it could be real! WHAT IF the ATF came, how many of you would be burning your Membership cards when you see US hanging on the cross? Will you be taking up your shotguns to avenge us? Or will you commit suicide and join us in SubG hell? Time is a horny cellmate waiting for you to fall asleep! Your Memb Card is like a home made knife to smuggle out from under your mattress.... Time doesn't fly by... Time flies away. Today we meet and have fun... but 2 years from now, you better have the stomach for the sight of blood. This isn't no candy-ass rapture... I will feel rapture as my fingers crawl around the throat of the Conspiracy... Time is ticking... The streets shall run red with their blood... all that they find sacred will be nothing but sex toys for us. They say that humanity is just two hot meals away from anarchy... let those two hot meals be the cooling remains of their neighbors! Can I get a Praise "Bob"?!" GREAT impromptu rant.... "We gotta make some NOISE to let the Xists KNOW!" (Fires gun in air) "We will cleanse this place of Love... sure the Normals have their petty hatreds... (GREAT rant against normal hate)... soon Disney will make that movie about the black people who got their dream of coming to America to pick cotton... " GREAT HATE rant... "WHO shall sign the paper that legislates HATE? But what can we expect from them? They're... only human."
JHVH HATES PHRED song: "MAJOR BOB" to tune of "MAJOR TOM" by David Bowie
(St. @ndrew and Pope Phred)
SUSIE THE FLOOZY Friday night rant: Great Bob-con rant! "He is the foe of mediocrety and the champion of success... They have your slack but they don't know how to use it!" Describes the Squid... "...them little sucker cups.....
When Bob came along, he came for us! And he came again and again... and I kinda lost count at that point cause I blacked out. Woke up in a puddle of slack... -- don't come to me when the saucer rays are welding your butt cheeks shut! We are all here to give you something to slack off TO!" etc.
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Original file name: HoS 536 X-Day Drill 96
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