"ESO" means, of course, Einstein's Secret Orchestra, aka Swamp Radio on WCSB Cleveland (Thurs. nights http://www.wcsb.org)... maestroed by Cantor Chas Smith with Lonesome Cowboy Dave, and guests Princess Wei R. Doe, Rev. Bleepo Abernathy, Rev. Ivan Stang, sometimes IrRev. Friday Jones
ESO, PO Box 81555, Cleveland OH 44181 (Tapes $12)
((NOTE: UPCOMING DEVIVAL IN CLEVELAND! Nov. 8 at THE EUCLID TAVERN.))
SIDE ONE
Intro barrage from HoS 79 work tape (excellent remix of prime middle 1980s SubGenius barrage and early radio -- this material is used throughout show to punctuate) "Ivan Stang, Sexiest Man on Earth" collage titles with classic Onan, Cleve, Mothersbaugh "Bob" song clips.
ESO 8-6-98 (with Friday) "This show is educational, multi-ethnic, anthropological... like National Geographic!" "We hire lots of minorities -- we hire TALENTED PEOPLE"
"Bob" is Sex/subliminals and ancient show countdowns from H-79 intro barrage
KPFA (Berkeley) 11-25-97 Dr. Howll and Puzzling Evidence "Radio Strongwater: A Perfect Show"... Hal on God in Outer Space, "the endless backdrop of nothingness"
Stang reads DR. HOWLL's Post-X-DAY explanation letter to distraught Bobbies and whimpering Gimme-Bobs (bg music: "Heliocopium" track 2 by f/i) "... All predicted changes are happening, but not within human standards of time... " In UFO encounters "...the abductees do not immediately remember the details..."... "Are you sure you can account for your activities at 7 am on July 5 1998?" (... or were you just too Pink?)
ESO 7-9-98 (with G. Gordon Gordon) -- Stang cries... GGG saw "Bob" right after X-Day and "Bob's" comment was, "OOPS." Stang's "old lady sneezing in the crowd as a distraction during the cosmic showdown on Main Street" theory of X-Day; Stang breaks down and cries again over the little pink feathers and the sad second X-Day countdown
HoS 79 classic "Bob" noises barrage continued: "Wake Up Puppet Boy," WB cartoon FX, Stang manic clips, Mothersbaugh's Hendrix/Stang mix noises,
ESO "Vol. 7" (Side 2) Stang: "As soon as I was Ruptured, I just wanted to go to bed" ... "I'd lay in my old tired body and watch a new one grow."
plus:
Great CHAS god-voice/SubG ad: "ARE YOU VENTING SOMETHING INTO SPACE? ARE YOU ONE OF THE CHOSEN? ARE YOU BUILDING YOUR OWN PLEASURE STARSHIP? ARE YOU ONE OF THE FRIGHTENED? DO YOU KNOW THE LAW? DO YOU KNOW THE LAWS OF PLANETARY MOTION? ARE YOU ONE OF THE DISAPPEARED?"
Stang reads Kenneth Starr 1987 quote about "NO excuse for pornography"
>"Public media should not contain explicit or implied descriptions of
>sex acts. Our society should be purged of the perverts who provide the
>media with pornographic material while pretending it has some redeeming
>social value under the public's 'right to know.' Pornography is
>pornography, regardless of the source."
> -Kenneth Starr, 1987, interview with Dianne Sawyer - 60 minutes
ESO 8-27-98 new song: "THERE'S ONLY ONE SIN" (People Dying in Guilt Instead of Living in Love" (based on Revelation X sin chapter)
Bleepo & Stang on early '60s Perry Como Child Masturbation Scandal and the "Miss Lucy" dirty-song mystery; Bleepo sings "Miss Lucy" song
Stang rant on Commie Sex Control and Stang's recent Third Nostril Operations: (with bg music "One Step Beyond" by f/i and also ESO/X-Day Band (Saturday jam at X-Day, Brushwood)
X-Day, Sex-Day
I was reading a history of Russia... MAN, I cannot believe how bad they had it there. It was almost WORSE than a science fiction movie. That novel 1984, which was based on soviet Russia, was actually SOFT-PEDALLING it. It was like, people would rat on their own friends just so they'd look good to the regime. It was like an insane huge junior high run by peevish 12 year old boys with whole armies at their disposal, only they were really fat old men that would do anything to silence any opposition. If some opposition guy started to get popular they'd just find some sexual peccadillo or whatnot, trump that up and suddenly have it splashed all over the secret police controlled press. And the whole time they'd be saying it was for the good of the state. They were ultra-puritananical as far as laws go, etc. -- but they'd somehow manage to provide tons of porn to the proles, in the guise of, "Take a CLOSE LOOK at what this evil opposition guy did with this young girl! SHAMEFUL!! Take a CLOSER look so you can see how REALLY REALLY shameful it is! Look at these films we made of him right after they had just finished "doing it." And look, here she is, right after the interrogation, crying about all those awful things he made her do." You know, if I lived in a country like that, where the secret police could be THAT BLATANT, you know what I'd do?
I'd probably just keep my mouth shut and not complain, because I'd be afraid it might be ME next. In fact, I might just get in line with all those other good citizens and start hollering along with them about how evil that Goldstein guy is.
But, friends, my lips are still flappin' even though I'm recuperating from my recent Third Nostril Repair Surgery and SNOT AMPUTATION, which is supposed to cure my BRAIN PROBLEM of vertigo. I've been on too many pain-killers to do much work requiring brains, skill, talent or the barest modicum of technical know-how. Luckily, that doesn't preclude SUBGENIUS AUDIO AND VIDEO EDITTING! So, even from deep within this a haze, 8 feet underwater, and bandage changing, I managed to EDIT DOWN a mess of audio tape and videotape from the hard preachin,' mixin' and jammin' that we all did in the final months before the First End of the World.
Two days ago the witch doctor removed the cerebronasal splints-- took a pair of pliers and YANKED FROM MY RIGHT NOSTRIL A PLASTIC TUBE THE SIZE OF A CHILD'S FINGER, and from my LEFT nostril he withdrew, with great effort, a THICK PLASTIC SEMICIRCULAR PLATE about 2 and a half inches long and an inch high. Those objects have been inside of my head for the last week. Them and GORE. An ever-oozing font of THICK BLACK CONGEALED BLOOD. The black blood is still oozing, but it runs down the back of my throat now, instead of into a gauze pad strapped on my nose. Yesterday, I woke up puking up all the black ichor, the bitter, .... well... let's not, "quote" "go there." But PRAISE "BOB", I can SNORT again!
NEW *STARK FIST OF REMOVAL* mag just went to printers -- Praise Jesus Christ and Craig Mitchell -- includes catalog pics of our ALL NEW LINE OF FULL COLOR SUBGENIUS-WEAR T-SHIRTS!! "You'll APE when you SHIRT THESE SHIRTS!!" -- Jesus Christ
OK OK SLACK SLACK
ESO 8-6-98 Moonpants Adoration, "We're a reflection of the Moonpants of Society around us". Diapers, moonpants, and liquid cooled underwear, vs. Moonpies; Are There Whales in Lake Erie?, Chas "I Was Raised by Fresh Water Dolphins" -- ends with "Underwater Wonder" old radio scenes (20,000 Leagues Under the Sea); Stang: sped-up tapes of the ocean sound just like a forest.
SIDE 2
HoS 79 "Sex Barrage" and MB-10 "Intro Barrage" mixed throughout.
MANDALA "Piece a' Me" (Excellent thrash song about having one's car unfairly searched by cops for dope, and them finding it)(Po Box 470440 Cleveland OH 44147)
LIKEWISE: "Prairie Squid" (song composed largely of Book of the SubGenius one-liners, headlines and catch phrases, from unknown Tacoma WA person (anybody know the address?))
HoS 79 Barrage, "Bring Your Weidest Dreams to Rampaging Life" etc. inc. GLASSMADNESS testimonial and Howll Arise out-takes (Glassmadness is smashing huge dangerous sheets of glass directly behind Hal as he tries to say his lines... scares daylights out of Hal)
ESO Vol 7 Chas: "This Just In: 3 Astronauts hopelessly adrift..." -- Bleepo and Dave: "Your Future is Different from My Future"
HoS 79/MB-10 Intro Barrage clips continued (by Bleepo and Stang, 1983)
FRANK TYRO UNPLUGGED: "Urban Legends" (long long first person story composed entirely of urban legends, muttered by earnest redneck character... "part one" -- the dying boy in Florida and his greeting cards... the headlight-flashing gang initiation drive-by... 1965 Chevy, $250, is mint cherry '65 Corvette, but just sold, but husband died inside it... cake mix made by Satanic food companies... the baby on the car roof... the robber who left behind the camera and the toothbrushes... the Rottweiler and the reburied dead prize Belgian rabbit...
Stang: "Did that tape make you feel like you're going completely mad?", CREDITS
LIKEWISE: "Prairie Squid" cont
BLEEPO ABERNATHY "Bob" Collage '98 "...and Smith here is taking up the Slack." "You want Slack? I'll give you SLACK!" old song: Next July we colide with Mars..."
Intro Barrage "Attain Status-Luck-Prosperity -- by BLOWING THEM OFF" etc.
ONAN CANOBITE'S CONFESSION (from his Fischer-Price video)
A confession forced out of him in Human Re-Education Camp by the anti-SubGenius Conspiracy forces after the post-X-Day crackdown on SubGeniuses... "...reward to those who alert the authorities to renegade SubGeniuses ..." He is obviously saying this under duress or at gunpoint.
Rev. SUSIE THE FLOOZIE -- "BOB'S" SLACKTIME FUNHOUSE "CONSPIRACY Show": Susie, on the phone to Rev. Rock In Hand, frets about the Black Helicopters and the weird 18th hanger in her closet... the Triple XXX Files.
SUSIE CONSPIRACY BARRAGE PART ONE: Stranglers "Men in Black" clip, Strange Signals on your Ham Radio, codger clips about World Gov't, Bible Prophecy, Illuminati, Adam Weishaupt, World Communazi Conspiracy...
Stang does Sacred PO BOX, Susie credit, muttering re: Illuminati and Church...
Susie Barrage con't: Marx, socialized public schools, Manchurian Candidate public hysteria plot rant line, "WE DO" (Simpsons "STONECUTTERS" song), Illuminati Satan Devil codger; Bill Hicks "sucking Satan's pecker"
end: FRANK TYRO UNPLUGGED: "Urban Legends" (long long rant composed of urban legends... "part two"
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ALL HAIL WANDARER for mastering the shows in REAL AUDIO:
http://www.subgenius.com/ts/hos.html
HOUR OF SLACK audio cassettes are $7.50 for radio stations or individual subscribers
Original file name: hos 650
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