Matrimony Mony

Matrimony Mony

From: clavis@ix.netcom.com (the Grand Clavister )

(NOT sung to the tune of
"Mony Mony"), by Grand Clavister Rev. J. "O.L.I.N.Y.K." Victor Stark:

Copyright 1995 - John P. Olinyk (my tax name)

(sort of a quick Irish folk song - sing it at your next ShorDurMar)

Everybody settle down
This ain't no trial run
If someone could locate the bride
We'll get this show begun

Somebody just fell of the roof
his head is awful sore
and the maids of honor just got back
from holding up a store

The organist is plugging in
and tuning up his strings
The best man has a blowtorch
And he's working on the rings

The priest is wearing panties
The groom is still in bed
And there is no better circumstance
To get two people wed

(Chorus)
So let's raise our glasses
When the waiter passes by
We'll get this couple married
Though we can't imagine why

Yes, let's raise our glasses
When the waiter passes by
We'll get this wedding overwith
And party 'til we die!

The bride is lookin radiant
as far as I can tell
But after twenty cans of beer
My vision's shot to hell

The groom is looking nervous
Cause he's out 2 hundred bucks
He just spilled a can of Guinness
Down a brand new rented tux

The wedding march is playing
and it sounds a little odd
The organist is really pissed
He's playing with his rod

If anyone can reason why
These two should not be wed
Then get up here right this minute
and we'll marry you instead!

(Chorus)

(slow...)
The rings are made of pewter,
and they only barely fit,
but they make it through, they say, "I do",
and they trade a little spit

Let's take a final picture
as the couple cuts the cake;
just imagine them tomorrow...
(fast) WHEN THEY REALIZE THEIR MISTAKE!

..2...3...

(Chorus)

Hope you like it. Sing it loud. For those who want to sing along, grab
an instrument. The structure is: (CHORD CHANGES IN {}'S)

{C}Everybody settle down
this ain't no trial {G}run
if someone could locate the bride
we'll get this show be{C}gun

somebody just fell off the roof
his head is awful {F}sore
and the maids of honor {C}just got back
from {G}holding up a store

chorus: So let's {F}raise our glasses
when the {C}waiter passes by
we'll {G}get this couple married,
though we {C}don't remember why

yes, let's {F}raise our glasses
when the {C}waiter passes by
we'll {G}get this wedding overwith
and {F}party {G}til we {C}die.

everybody!!!

THE gRAND cLAVISTER
(who owns this song. Don't steal it. I demand credit. I will release it
soon. Commercially. It is copyrighted. Honest.)

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