Ballad of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs Dr. Ahmed Fishmonger

Ballad of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs Dr. Ahmed Fishmonger

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Off of Ear of "Bob"

Let me tell ya the story of J. R. "Bob" Dobbs
Friend of man and Yeti, he walked with the gods
He wore a silly grin and he smoked a silly pipe
He fought the conspiracy every day of his life
He whiffed the pstench of many a man
Fathered many children, with his mighty glands
He founded the religion in which we all believe
brought us all the slack that everybody needs
He was the greatest salesman the world had ever seen
He could sell the farts, after he ate all the beans
He could sell a pile of shit to a common fly
All of us who knew him figured he would never die

"Bob" Dobbs, "Bob" Dobbs
He was a real man and brave
"Bob" Dobbs, "Bob" Dobbs
Is lying dead in his grave
Without "Bob" what are we going to do
When the men from Planet X come marching through?
Our whole world is stuck in jail
With only "Bob" to pay the bail
But now he's dead, so we're doomed, what to do?

He founded the city known as Dobbstown
Deep within Malaysia, it was rarely found
There he studied forbidden science until that fatal day
When he came on to his flock by the city by the bay
Few had ever seen him few had ever dared
Most had no occasion, others just plain scared
Some others came to San Francisco for the event of the age
When the holy smiling one would step out on the stage
"Bob" looked to the left and he looked to the right
Then he strode out with confidence into the bright spotlight
He waved to all the cheering fans as he stepped up to the mike
When a crazed assassin's bullet sent him too eternal night

"Bob" Dobbs, "Bob" Dobbs
The crowds knew their Savior had come
"Bob" Dobbs, "Bob" Dobbs
Was greeted by the flash of a gun
Without "Bob" we have plenty to fear
As we swiftly approach that fatal year
For in nineteen ninety eight
He would have set that record straight
But now he's dead so we're doomed, oh my dear

Now this has been the story of J. R. "Bob" Dobbs
Some called him Messiah, others called him fraud
I hope that before ninety-eight that the word gets out
That "Bob" Dobbs was the only guy we could not do without
The endtimes are upon us and things don't look so good
"Bob" Dobbs had the answer but was seldom understood
We're in a heap of trouble, our books are in the red
There is no joy in Melville now that "Bob" is dead
So we pray to fighting Jesus to do battle for "Bob"'s soul
To Poop Dog and to Pee Dog, for strengthening our hold
We prayed to he that needs no name so we may need no slack
and we prayed to Wotan, "Please send our Bobbie back!"

"Bob" Dobbs, "Bob" Dobbs
our lives aren't worth shit without you
"Bob" Dobbs, "Bob" Dobbs
Oh dear what will we do?
Without "Bob" we are in a tight fix
When the Xists come to kill us just for kicks
If "Bob" were not in his grave
All the SubGenii would be saved
But he is so our chances are nix

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