We NEED a SubGenius president this term.
In fact, we need a LOT of them, to make it harder for THEM to
kill us all. Why shouldn't we have several? We have tons of Popes.
Same thing. We can have a whole line-up of them, a veritable
MysAmerica Pageant of presidents. Even some part-time presidents
if they're too busy most of the time earning a living or playing
video games or masturbating to handle a full time presidency.
So rather than running against each other, I suggest we all run
TOGETHER. We should ALL set up a votes account at the SubGenius
Foundation. After all, Jesus needs the work now that he's moved in.
And I suggest this set-up:
Whoever gets more yes votes than no votes gets elected, no matter
how many candidates that is.
Vote with dollars. One dollar, one vote. It's the Amrricun way.
Vote for as many candidates as you want, as many different ways
as you want. It's the SubGenius way.
That's all it would take for ANY SubGenius to get elected, as many
SubGenii as want the job. It's not like it's really that important,
since by July 1998 "Bob" will be proclaimed World Overlord. We just
have to run interference until he takes control. The fact that it's
not "recognized" by the Youess Gubmint is only fitting, since they
themselves are not recognizable, except as cartoon carnicatures.
And not to snub our overseas Yeti sisteren, bretheren and
sheheitotheren, they can vote even though they're not US citizens.
Or they can run for Last President themselves. Or even start up an
election in their own country, whether or not it coincides with a
regular election there.
The time is NOW, children. As of November 5, we'll only have 487 days to prepare for The End Times.
To vote for me, send $1 to:
SubPresident DynaSoar, PO Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
To vote against me, send $1 to:
Kill DynaSoar, PO Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
For those of you who don't know me well, I adhere viciously to the
doktrine of the Industrial Church. I refuse all monies myself and pay
my own way. I even pay my own way into devivals where I preach. I will
NOT get a cent of this and would forward any money sent directly to me
on to the Foundation for vote tallying. I DON'T WANT your money.
"Bob" wants your money and your pstench that's on it.
I just want your LOVE, your HATE, your SEXHURT and OOZESQUIRT.
I want to rub, rub, rub and praise "Bob", "Bob", "Bob" in a song.
Two cars lodged in every carnivorous chicken.
Two families of pinks in every pot.
I WANNA GREET THE X-ISTS!
MAKE me feel it, children. Make DALLAS feel it. It is only fitting
that the City That Kills Presidents acts as the Holy Book Repository
where the Holy Bookies count the chump change and watch the inevitable
changes come down on the chumps.
Shove your money up ME.
I want to wear The Grin. I want to smoke The Pipe. I want to offer up
the Place Where I Used to Wear My Hat in the ultimate Slackrifice.
Vote for me RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES.
Elect a SubGenius for Last President of the United States
To vote, send $1 to: PO Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
For me: "SubPresident DynaSoar"; against me: "Kill DynaSoar"
Vote early, vote often, vote for or against anyone you want.
[Paid for by The Committee to Killect SubPresident DynaSoar]
[You want to run, start your own damn committee.]
[Broadcasters for "Bob", write for details on free tape recordings of
election lies and candidacy rants, each original and contradictory.]
Original file name: elect
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