Pee Kitty tosses the Wendy's Banishment Hat into the ring!

By pkitty@netcom.com (Pee Kitty)
Date: Tue, 7 May 1996

Dennis McClain-Furmanski (dynasor@infi.net) wrote:
: On 05-02-96, pkitty@netcom.com wrote:
: > Dennis McClain-Furmanski (dynasor@infi.net) wrote:
: > : VOTE FOR PEE KITTY TOO.
:
: > "No! I didn't want you to vote for ME! Vote for None of the Above! That
: > was the whole idea...none of the above!" -Brewster's Million's
: > (Unless I get to make speeches...I'm real good at speeches...)
:
: HELL YEAH. Makes LOTS and LOTS of speeches.
:
: SPEECHES and PREACHES and RANTS and TAUNTS.
:
: Make LAWS and PROMISES and WHOLE NEW PARADIGMS and then BREAK them.
:
: And don't worry about getting voted in. Anyone who wants can QUIT at ANY
: TIME. Of course the more SubPresidents there are, the more confusion we
: can cause.

Well, shiite, if THAT'S all it takes, I'm in!

Ladees and gentlespeeples, vote for the ticket that will bring in a new
era of peace and happiness! Vote for the team that will usher in a time
of unity through hatred! VOTE FELINE!!!

You say those damned hyumans are getting you down? Can't stand the
pinkboys trying to condescend you before going back to a life of
scraching for fleas and trying REAL HARD to become assistant manager?
Just wish you could GET RID OF THEM ALL?

VOTE FOR ME! Under my ad-ministration, the Five Month Plan will be put
into effect: First, we build one HELLUVA big space ship! Then, we round
up all the pinkfukyumans, toss 'em onto the ship, and BLAST 'EM INTO
SPACE, WHERE THE ELDER GODS CAN DEAL WITH 'EM!

And from there, WHO KNOWS? I'll be open to bribes...someone,some group
bothering you? If you've got the campaign contribution, we'll blast them
off, too! I'll be like Hitler, but in a NICE way! And when it all starts
to crumble, and I have to face the invevitable, I'll even start a
nationwide TV 1-900 voting poll to see which way I should degeneration
and eventually kill myself!

WHO ELSE WILL PROMISE YOU ALL THIS?

My friends, the choice is clear. Vote for Pee Kitty, the benovolent fascist.

Thank you.
--

Rev. Pee Kitty, of the order Malkavian-Dobbsian
Meow!

* Are you abnormal? Then you are probably BETTER than most people! *
* ETERNAL SALVATION OR TRIPLE YOUR MONEY BACK! For info send $1 to *
* The Church of the SubGenius / P. O. Box 140306 / Dallas, TX 75214 *
* -= Visit alt.slack =- *
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------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: pkitty@netcom.com (Pee Kitty)
Subject: Re: Pee Kitty tosses the Wendy's Banishment Hat into the ring!

Matthew Carey (ac118@lafn.org) wrote:

: Vote for me or I'll fucking kill myself.

Folks, I've already promised not only to kill myself, but also to give
YOU (the poor, unwashed masses) the chance to determine HOW! A vote for
me is therefore a vote for TWO deaths. The extermination of TWO powerful,
influential Yetinsyny made possible by a SINGLE VOTE! JUMP ON THE
THANATOSTIC TICKET TODAY!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)
Subject: Re: Pee Kitty tosses the Wendy's Banishment Hat into the ring!

pkitty@netcom.com wrote:

> Dennis McClain-Furmanski (dynasor@infi.net) wrote:

> : Man, talk about dedication. I had to HIRE someone to kill me.
> : That's it -- you BOTH get votes from me.
> :
> : Matt, don't let that stop you. This is, after all, ART.
> :
> : PK, with my vote to the Foundation, I will ask you to stand in front
> : of me and take King Bullet-1 from my contracted assasins, thus
> : fulfilling the Chapter 19 Profitsy.

> You mean...*I* get to take your bullet? <sniff> That's... <sob> so...
> <sniff> I'm all broken up...

How could it be otherwise? After all, I wear but only the SECOND evil Hat
(and that one's broken; have to get a new one on the way to the Drill.)

I bow before your PreHattedness and hold open the door to your martyrdom.
I wrote your name in on the hidden survivor clause for this one.
Now stand up straight -- don't slouch. Let me straighten your, um tie?
There.

Excuse me, Mr. Bilderberger? We're ready.

* 2qwk! 2.0 * Guns don't kill people. It's those pesky bullets.

--
Doktor DynaSoar Iridium -- dynasor@infi.net -- Punctuator of Evolution

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