We Can't Win?

By dmcclain@runet.edu (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)
Date: 5 May 1996 07:17:56 GMT

Who says SubGenii can't be just as good at politicalizing as hyoomuns?
Look at our role models and competition (from News Of The Weird):

And Virginia legislator Robert E.
Nelms was arrested for indecent exposure in a Richmond park;
he explained only that "the rushing river had its effect on my
bladder." [Washington Post & .208, 2-23-96]


* In the middle of a cabinet meeting in Accra in December, the
president of Ghana, Jerry Rawlings, 49, brawled with vice
president Nkensen Arkaah, 68. According to Arkaah, Rawlings
punched him to the floor and then repeatedly kicked him in the
"groin" in a policy dispute. [Globe and Mail-Reuters, 12-30-95]

* The U. S. Justice Department recently conducted a sting
operation against some Chicago officials who were suspected of
taking payments for facilitating illegal dumping. As the identity
of the sting agent became known, state Sen. Ricky Hendon, who
was formerly a Chicago alderman and who had in the past been
suspected of corruption, told reporters proudly that he personally
had resisted the pressure by the sting agent. The Chicago Sun-
Times reported that Hendon said, "I hope I get some points for
not being corrupt this one time." [Chicago Sun-Times, 1-9-96]

* Noted championship eater Mort Hurst, who once ate 16 double-
deck Moon Pies in 10 minutes and 38 eggs in 29 seconds (which
resulted in a stroke, in 1991), announced in January that he
would run for secretary of state of North Carolina, against race-
car legend Richard Petty. Asked if he was intimidated by Petty's
name, Hurst said no: "I been on Paul Harvey's [radio] show; I
don't think Petty has." [Durham Herald-Sun-AP, 1-21-96]

* The candidates for Oregon Senate, district 8, include Thomas
Wilde, a Democrat who, if he wins the primary in May, will face
his wife, Republican Melinda Wilde, in the general election.
(Thomas started out as Melinda's campaign manager but
discovered that the two hardly agreed on anything.) And running
for the Missouri senate seat from Concordia are husband Al
(Democrat) and wife Janette Hanson (Republican), who both face
challengers in the August primary. [Eugene Register-Guard, 1-
25-96] [Independence Examiner-AP, 3-4-96]

* The Oklahoma Senate passed a bill in February that would end
the emerging bar sport of bear-wrestling, in which men fight
small, declawed bears. The maximum penalty for illegal bear-
wrestling would be $5,000. Sen. Penny Williams successfully
introduced an unrelated amendment to the bill raising the fine for
abusing a former or current spouse, but she could only get
agreement to raise the fine for that to $2,000. [San Jose Mercury
News-AP, 2-29-96]

* Not a single person voted in the 25th Precinct in Tulsa, Okla.,
in the city council primary in February. The county believes no
one has lived in the precinct for 20 years but operates the polling
place for 12 hours every election day because if someone does
There are 66 lines left (57%). Press <space> for more, or 'i' to return.
place for 12 hours every election day because if someone does
want to vote and can't, the entire election could be negated.
[Daily Oklahoman-AP, 2-7-96]

* Florida state Rep. Marvin Couch (R Oviedo) resigned in
February, a week after he was arrested on three misdemeanor sex
charges. He was caught by police in his car in a shopping center
parking lot at noontime receiving oral sex from a prostitute.
Rep. Couch was a member of a legislators' prayer-meeting group
that called itself the God Squad. [AP wirecopy, 3-1-96]

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