From: Marquis Des Moines <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Date: Sat, Jul 4, 2009 10:11 PM
I'd just like to say a few things.
First of all, to those of you who paid your $30. Congrats.
I hope you
don't mind, but I plan on smoking during the flight.
To all of the people who didn't quite get me, I am sorry. But if I
made myself any easier to get, then I'd be as boring as you. Thus,
I'd be unable to travel the stars eternally in orgiastic bliss. I
guess you can see why I made the decisions I did. Don't take it
personally when space napalm falls on your driveway.
Everyone I actively disliked, you might be surprised when at 7:05 am
you see me hovering over you in an alien robot suit made of your
fears, and fueled by pain. Don't worry. Once we get past the part
where I shove needles into every pore on your body things will start
to get better. I'm sure I'll get bored eventually.
Oh, my precious alt.slack kooks. How does it feel to know that you
were a part of the conspiracy you claimed to fight your entire life?
I just want you to know as you eternally weep and your tears act as
sprinkler systems on the frop fields that we did have some good times
together. While I receive infinite joy in the hands of space
goddesses, I will occasionally look back and recall with fondness how
you continually reminded me of my purpose on this mudball. To
fearlessly call a kook a kook (because it takes one to know one) and
remind you of how just batshit crazy you are. Thus hopefully keeping
you from getting into too much trouble (or becoming governor).
I hear fireworks outside... I smell smoke... It smells like salvation
is A'COMING! Yeeeehaaaaawww!!!