What I remember of X-Day...

From: "Rev. Susie the Floozie" <revsusiethefloozie@gmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jul 7, 2009 9:40 PM




Oh yeah! I remember lots of stuff, like how flat-out GLORIOUS it

To commune in the woods with my own kind for the better part of a

To not hear anyone say, "Whut the hay-ull are yew talkin' about?"

To get exposed to the brilliant entertaining genius of Phat Man Dee.

To suffer 4th-degree sunburn on my cleavage schlepping pancakes in
joyous servitude to Revs. Ennie and V.

To use my tits as earmuffs for Mistar Sistar, whom, in my opinion,
does not get jugs slapped on his head nearly enough.

To run with the SubGenius Rat Pack (Teeters le Verge, Wilhelm, and
Agent Lloyd) as their horny Angie Dickinson/drunk Shirley MacLaine--
truly man's men who could keep up with my insane excesses.

To get to finally know Teeters and his tormented creative genius--
finally, an intellectual match and another writer to bounce my crap
off of before it gets published, *whew!*.

To get to hear Wilhelm's stellar CD with a mix of "Radar Love" and
"Going Under" that made Pisces and me both shit on the way home.

To hang with Bunnyday and Dildo Valerie, creating wild weiner-money
pyramid schemes and terrorizing boys in the hot tub.

Virgil Partch-type embroidered characters--a goddamned cloth
pussymagnet if ever there was one.

To stick my hooters in the smiling Feit C. Taj's face, even though he
reminds me unnervingly of my older brother--but jey, he brought the
BRAWNDO! It's got electrolytes, not like that water like from a

To give many of you the Lizard Rub and a firm spinal backstroke--I
wish I coulda got all of you down flat on the ground and worked you

To sneak a ninja-grab of Doc Frop's leathery cod and make HIM gasp for
a change.

To not hear anyone--ANYONE!--use the word "weird" as a fuckin' insult.

To take my tits for a walk--and another walk, and another, and
another...They love winking and flirting with everyone and jiggling
like jello on springs.

And to finally, actually be able to recognize most of you at looooong
fucking last--oh, my poor brain is finally working and it feels so

Yes, and I admit that I got mushy when we all sat around the big table
for the potluck. I started looking around and this bubble of ache rose
in my soul and just opened up and jettisoned years of solitary pain. I
don't have family and holidays are always times of painful loss for
me--but now I have a Norman Rockwell-by-way-of-MAD Magazine picture in
my mind of MY FAMILY--my SUBGENIUS Family--which will stand me in good
stead through the shitty times.

Thanks for the trip. It was precious, more than you could ever know.


Subject: Re: What I remember of X-Day...
From: "Rev. Susie the Floozie" <revsusiethefloozie@gmail.com>

On Jul 7, 9:51 pm, "Rev. Tom Sane" <rev.tom.s...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Jul 7, 6:40 pm, "Rev. Susie the Floozie"

> > Thanks for the trip. It was precious, more than you could ever know.
> I am glad that I got to imprint on you, even if it was only a palm
> print on your ass.
> Thanks for letting me feel you up.

Sure, anytime, Rev. Sane. Tell yer friends.

And hey, practice on a rump roast or something over the next year--I
want a good, sharp, stinging smack from "Bob" next time we meet.


Subject: Re: What I remember of X-Day...
From: Lord Cyclohexane <LordCyclohexane@gmail.com>

On Jul 7, 10:13 pm, Modemac <mode...@modemac.com> wrote:
> I remember getting sick and tired of sleeping in my tent, which had
> been pitched in an area that had turned into a swamp from all that
> rain. So, on Thursday I gave Pisces and Susie the puppy-dog eyes and
> spent the night on a spare cot in the trailer. I didn't have a
> blanket, however...until an angel snuck in and lent me her woolie. And
> the rain finally came to an end on the next day.

AH! So YOU were the one that Pisces was referring to when she
suggested that other SubGenii do that same thing (of making puppy-dog
eyes at members of the opposite sex to get entry to their dry tents).

I'd been tempted to do the same to her, for less savory reasons.

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