Sex Tales of X-Day

From: sosodada <kwpasto@attglobal.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack

XXX-Day was another great party! We had all the members there that wanted to
celebrate XXX-Day in their own
unique SubGenius way! The weather was just right for the SubG's: they got together
and went swimming in the pool, made little macrame decorations out of pubic hair in
the hot tub, and caught some rays so they would be suitably mutated before the
arrival of the pleasure saucers. Other members checked out the porn store in
Horseheads NY and found some beauties. Anabolic videos on sale for $15.00! Wow!

Many topics are covered in the group grope sessions and orientations, but one of the
subjects is what Stang called The Hallucinogenic After-Effect Phenomenon, where you
will find yourself stopped at a red light daydreaming about what you saw or did at a
XXX-Day! The next thing you know you hear the cars behind you honking the horns,
yelling for you to "whip it/'em out, Subbie!" The reason for this is the immediate
flashback of an image that you saw at XXX-Day and you want to re-live it again. The
image is so powerful that other drivers on the road can sense what you're thinking!
It's a SubGenius mutant power! We know it happens because it happens to us too.
There is such a delight in replaying the scenes that you have seen over and over in
your head, making the people in the car behind you smell the arome of freshly
toasted leather and agitated latex molecules. Now that is really what they call safe
sex! But be careful driving!

The party that on Friday was a delight as always. Too bad she didn't make it. Well,
perhaps she made it (wink, wink) but the party on Friday wasn't at XXX-Day.

Seeing Jesus sitting outside on the balcony overlooking the ocean fondling Mary
before the hospitality time started; watching Mary annoint his feet with KY jelly;
rubbing it off with her lovely locks of hair... Seeing the strong winds blow their
clothes against their bodies, seeing them laugh, seeing them turn slightly green,
seeing them talking with great interest about the sex secrets of the Polish sex
magicians....!

Pastor Craig spent a fortune on Anomie the Saturday afternoon before he was
violently molested by Phred and she was glad to show it off. She makes black leather
stockings look simply beautiful on her perfectly proportioned legs! Of course I have
to mention Pee Kitty in her pink and blue sheers under her cover up was a show
stealer too. Especially once she jumped in the hot tub! And Papa Joe in his
freshly-pressed Nazi uniform -- tres mani-fuck, nes ce pas?

When a Connieite says she wants to be the party favor you get the idea that she is
an exhibitionist and is ready to play, NOW, DAMMIT, NOW!! But since it is a woman's
sex-cult she also learns she must share. Male Bobbies always wonder if they will fit
in, if they will know what to do, if they can last long enough, if it is big enough.
Well, they always find out they didn't know they could cum so many times in one
evening and there are a thousand ways to please the priestesses of Connie especially
if you know what CONNIE likes!

I try not to pick on any one person but some scenes are so subtle that if you
weren't watching closely, you would have missed
the beauty of what transpired. In the middle of the first squid session Stang had
been watching with great interest and was taken by the hand and lead to the edge of
the bed to sit down. Connie Dobbs herself was sitting behind him rubbing his back
and whispering sweet nothings in his ear. She was also enjoying the delights of
rubbing his shaved scrotum when Sister Decadence came in front of them and said,
"May I join you?" What is more delightful than two sets of hands holding fistfuls
of freshly debeaked prarie squid rubbing your freshly waxed ass SubGenius style?
Nothing! That's what!

They showed Stang how to relax and flow with the motion of the squid slime, pampered
like a well-oiled twin-Vwith the cute little sea urchins. Connie was rubbing on his
back and the Decadence was rubbing him in the front. He had already been mesmerized
to the point that all resistance was gone. Stang felt one hand stroking his cock and
the other was playing with his balls and then they would change hands and the
different strokes was more than any mere mortal man could endure!

(to be continued..?)
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Subject: Re: Sex Tales of X-Day
From: Photong-(Rev. D. J.) <djfarrellNOdjSPAM@wycol.com.invalid>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Jul 16, 2000 1:10 PM
Message-ID: <25df46c8.454fbbc2@usw-ex0103-024.remarq.com>

..well, okay.

I might as well get this out.

Myself and Rev. Eris Pagana made some rather beautiful music
together on and off the air at WBOB. In addition to providing
much needed energy necessary to allow for massive video
recording and picture taking!!!

..If only the weather had been a little warmer!!!

All kidding aside, it seems that our little gatherings at
Brushwood are the only places on earth where any self-respecting
SubGenius can get laid!!!

Praise Bob!!!

>Rev. D. J. : )

-----------------------------------------------------------

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Subject: Re: Sex Tales of X-Day
From: prostata@bronze.coil.com (Rev. Prostata Cantata)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Jul 17, 2000 3:02 PM
Message-ID: <j7lvk8.igp.ln@news.concourse.com>

In article <25df46c8.454fbbc2@usw-ex0103-024.remarq.com>,
Photong-(Rev. D. J.) <djfarrellNOdjSPAM@wycol.com.invalid> wrote:
>
>All kidding aside, it seems that our little gatherings at
>Brushwood are the only places on earth where any self-respecting
>SubGenius can get laid!!!
>

speak for yerself buddy. every Bobdammed day around me is XXX-day
nomatter where I happen to be in meatspace.

Glad to hear you had a good time, but that's not the ONLY place we can get
laid. You just gotta find the yeti chicks in your home turf. They are
there! They can be found because of the pheromones they emit, so simply
SNIFF all the women you see on the street or in biker bars.

Thus sayith the mighty DeVo:

"If you live in a small town, you might meet a dozen or two young
alien types who step out and dare to declare 'We're through being cool!'"

GO FORTH, young yeti and SCREW!

oh, there's nothing wrong with doing a human occasionally. Sometimes a
little human trim is just the thing on the menu, but remember, it's
bestiality, so don't get "involved" and DON'T let her DILUTE your precious
bodily fluids.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Sex Tales of X-Day
From: Resop <tstcraig@erols.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jul 18, 2000 8:09 PM
Message-ID: <3974F1C8.5BB4@erols.com>

Sister Decadence wrote:
>
> On Sun, 16 Jul 2000 20:59:07 -0400, sosodada said in alt.slack:
> >
> >Pastor Craig spent a fortune on Anomie the Saturday afternoon before he was
> >violently molested by Phred and she was glad to show it off.

The collar bone emaculation was Friday.

I'm not sure if I spent any money on Anomie but I dropped a LOT of money
in Chas Smith's coffers for CD's.

>
> She was a loony. Told some pals of mine they were camping in "her
> front yard". The space in the main open field in front of her little
> annually-payed-up grove. Front yard? Then, she tried to call some
> people out of a tent when they were....engaged in adult activities.
>

Well, she does have a cabin fifteen feet back into the woods.
Also, starting today, at brushwood, there are at least 30 people there
(identifiable by the green nail paint on their left pinkies) who
worship were like most of us worship Bob and or Connie.

Tobor

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Original file name: Sex Tales of X-Day - converted on Friday, 29 June 2001, 22:31