From: "Rev. Magdalen" <email@example.com>
Date: Mon, Jul 16, 2001 4:42 PM
[Transcribed from paper notes written sometime Sunday
or possibly Monday,
July 8 or 9 2001]
This X-Day was... well, it was something else all right.
When the Lord and I boarded the plane at the seething
DFW airport, we each
had different expectations of what we would find at Brushwood, but neither
of us thought we would arrive to find a thriving SubGenius community already
in place, complete with a city center, suburbs, and a ghetto. And the
festival hadn't even "started" yet!
On my first loop around the campgrounds I was greeted
by so many SubGenii
that the trip took two hours. More miraculously still, in alt.slack.woods,
the ghetto kids had upgraded. Even the poorest among them had their own
fires! The leaders of the various ghetto tribes each had spacious,
well-chosen campsites equipped with awnings and ample seating.
Andrew the Impaled was one such leader, attracting many
followers awed by
his glass-walking, fire-eating, ass-kicking mojo.
My vote for best campsite had to go to the camp ruled
by a loose coalition
of IRC and alt.slack regulars including Ankara, Rev. Dr. Jack, and FefNet
God Frank [GoRK's Friend Frank, for those of you playing along with the home
version]. These yetis rose to dominate the woods through their
venison-chili-making skills and their extremely thoughtful creation of an
enormous white beacon that shone in the dark, guiding all travelers in a
straight line past the pagans and the ditches right into the heart of
I myself became lost in the darkness on my way back
from the bathrooms, but
I was saved by the Beacon of Slack!
Close by the IRC/alt.slack coalition camp was Phloighd's
Pool Table Camp.
The Lord Himself is a pool enthusiast, and he blessed the table,
miraculously producing ten dollars from it, which he promptly donated to
Overlooking all other camps in alt.slack.woods was the
secluded compound of
Dr. Dark. Surrounded by a fence and equipped with a private, eco-friendly
composting toilet, Dr. Dark's camp loomed over the others like the elaborate
castle of an insane genius billionaire.
The campsites of the along-the-strip aristocracy and
suburbanites were marked by a superabundance of food, coffee, chairs, and
Generosity overflowed. Multiple campsites offered free
food, and I
personally witnessed several SubGenii actually walk to their campsites to
procure liquor for those who had none.
Nothing demonstrates the generosity of the SubGenii
at XD4 more than the
Parable of the Vagrant. ... [To be posted separately, since a lot of you
have probably already heard it and it goes on for three pages.]
There were so many Slackful camps that on Thursday and
Friday nights the
forest rang with the haunting yowls of Yetis in heat until long after
daybreak. There was a fur-lined Barbarella party, a rave DJ'ed by the Lord
Himself, open mikes on the stage, kickin bands -- everything you'd expect
from a high-class end-of-the-world gut-blowout party.
Because of this, the stay-up-all-night contest was not
held until Saturday
night, when, in the words of Raphael (seasonal camper, naked drummer, and
coffeegod), "It seemed like black helicopters had sprayed the campground
with Thorazine". Only Popess Lilith and Temujin can be firmly counted as
contest winners. Carter Le Blanc also stayed up all night, but looked
suspiciously like he had sneaked a nap in just before the sun went down.
Prostata Canatata and Vagina Jones also stayed up all night, but left the
campgrounds to go to the airport, thus disqualifying themselves from the
Those SubGenii that slept seemed to enjoy it immensely,
appearing in the
morning with smiling faces and an urge for oobleck.
Although many SubGenii had to return to their Conspiracy
homes on Sunday,
those who stayed over were able to enjoy another full day of "Bob"-O-Matic
fun. The Lord, assisted by the excellent chef Pater Nostril, miraculously
transformed the leftover food of the SubGenii into a feast that fed not only
all of our people, but also the Brushwood Staff -- with leftovers to spare!
Then we got down to some serious oobleck action.
[End Transcript. That is all I wrote, but I'd like
to add that there were
at least four more awesome parties that Sunday night, including Magdalen's
Hentai Party, Pater Nostril's Music Party, The Lord's Poker Party, and Sikki
& Andreux's Fire Party. And, there were some other people who stayed up all
night, wandering around shouting "Where are the Yeti Babes!?!? but I don't
count them. Also, the oobleck was WAY WAY COOL, and Rev. 808 is the ONLY
SubGenius that has it on VIDEO!! I'm talkin about naked chicks covered in
white goo! Whooo!]
Original file name: MAGDALEN'S SEXXXXY XD4 REPORT!... - converted on Wednesday, 18 July 2001, 06:24
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