Report from the secret Arizona X-Day drill.

From: "nu-monet v8.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

nu-monet v8.0

High atop pterodactyl mesa, in Schwinesgaden Casita,
Amway, Arizona. July 4th-5th.

As usual, there were no survivors.

The theme of this years' successful attempt to receive
Slack, gifts and goodies from the Xists in lieu of xport,
was "Tiki".

This was because we were able to obtain an inflatable,
4-foot-tall Tiki Totem pole, used as the central icon of
our profane ceremonies.

Other decor included the 10x10 gazebo, tiki torches, pink
flamingo Xistmas lights, new BBQ grill, biting winged red
ants, and Church flags/swizzle sticks.

The banquet included Big Kahuna burgers, teriyaki marinaded
hamburgers with provolone cheese, grilled pineapple, sliced
tomato and purple onion, with Big Kahuna sauce. Boca burgers
were substituted for the vegetarians.

Other stuff: various chips & dips, tropical banana bread
w/Macadamia nuts & fruits, apple pie, watermelon, key lime
squares, chili, tons o' cookies, assorted tropical drinks,
and, of course, 'Frop.

The ants were given dried grits, to suck the moisture out of
their little bodies. Though whether or not this worked is
unknown, as they were mysteriously taken up into the Xist
ships before they took off.

All told, several attendees were probably convinced to become
SubGenius Reverends.

J.R. "Bob" Dobbs made a brief appearance on the morning of
the 5th, but nobody was up yet, so he left a generic post-it
on the door. No message, just a post-it. We chopped it up
and ate it like blotter, but it just tasted ucky.

No photographic or sound recording was made by us, so the
official government surveillance is the only "official" record.
Arresting us will do no good, however, as all our fingerprints
have mysteriously changed.

Rants were ranted. Lies were bragged. Virgins were re-flowered.
Sickenings were promulgated. Big Kahuna burgers were gobbled.
Church videos were watched.

I'm friggin' pooped.

--
Be Sure To Visit the 'SubGenius Reverend' Blog:
http://slackoff.blogspot.com/
***********
"I LIVE AGAIN!
Shit. I live again."
-- nu-monet v8.0

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Original file name: Report from the secret Ar#99D47 - converted on Monday, 18 July 2005, 17:18