Magdalen Update: July 5th

From: Modemac <>
Date: Wed, Jul 5, 2006 10:47 PM

Reverend Magdalen's new custody hearing had originally been scheduled
for June 12th, but it was postponed until June 23rd. What was
originally planned as a two-day hearing was extended to five, and it's
still not over at this time. The case is scheduled to continue on July

The good news is that Magdalen's legal team has been earning their
fees. Judge Adams appears to have more of a sense of humor than Judge
Punch did, as he has been accepting the humor in such statements as
"No, this is NO joke, NO parody" (from page 13 of the Book of the

The bad news is this: because her ex-boyfriend's lawyer is a personal
friend, he is receiving his legal assistance for free. This means that
they are free to use every delaying and stalling tactic in the book to
extend this trial as long as possible, so as to run up massive legal
costs for Magdalen. Magdalen's husband was on the witness stand for
three full days of cross-examination, during which the Church of the
SubGenius was examined minutely. (Jesus had to assist the court
stenographer with the proper spelling of such SubGenius Elder Gods as
NHGH? and G'Broagfran?.) These Scientology-like tactics have succeeded
in bringing Magdalen's legal costs to exceed $50,000.

Reading between the lines, we can only assume that the opposition is
acting out of desperation. Their insistence on using the Church of the
SubGenius in the trial ^ again, after doing the same thing five months
ago ^ suggests they have nothing else to work on, so they are once
again trying to bring up the argument of an evil, Satanic sex cult.

Meanwhile, X-Day took place during the week of June 28th through July
5th. Aside from the Escape Vessels of the Sex Goddesses failing to
show up once again, this was one of the most enjoyable, exciting, and
Slackful X-Days of all. (A number of events were held especially to
honor Judge Punch, and we are waiting to see if photos of these events
end up in the court case.) Unfortunately, Jesus (Steve) was unable to
attend X-Day due to his business commitments ^ this trial has put such
a strain on him, he actually had to work on the Fourth of July. His
presence at Brushwood was sorely missed, because if there's anyone who
deserves rest, relaxation, and Slack in this affair, it's him.

As before, transcripts and other documents will be made available
online as soon as possible. Until then, I ask you to read the
documents currently available, and to accept my word that I am
presenting this as truthfully as possible.

IMPORTANT: The brave and hardy administrators of Taphouse IRC the
official IRC network of the Church of the SubGenius) have begun a fund
raiser for Magdalen's legal fund, by producing T-shirts with a goat
head logo and the quote "Why a goat?" (as was repeated by the original
judge in this case). These shirts are being sold for $20, of which
$8.10 of every sale will go directly to her legal fund. All help is
appreciated, and every little bit helps. The URL for the fund-raiser

(At X-Day, a special T-shirt autographed by Magdalen was auctioned off
for $120, with the entire amount going to her legal fund. This shirt
was purchased by none other than Pat "The Man" Volkerding, the man
responsible for Slackware!)
The High Weirdness Project

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