Three incidents: a short X-Day report by Razna

From: Rev. Razna
Date: Fri, Jul 7, 2006 8:08 AM

Deep in the woods: A witch-house and bad attitude

One evening we decided to stroll around and annoy other people. "We"
in this context meaning, as far as I can remember, The Duchess of
Discord, Ankara, St. Bucky and me. A spooky place, those
alt.slack.woods. The ground was soaking wet, and most of the time we
were unable to tell whether it was the hands of the recently buried
trying to pull us into their underground lair or just mud. Since most
of us survived, as far as I can remember, it was probably just mud.
No one was around. It was night, alright, but no sounds of people
fucking, snoring or slacking. But there - in the background was a big
tent, lit with six torches. A friendly place that was just the symbol
for a warm welcome and maybe a cool beer (I'll use the term "beer"
very loosely for the fluids you nice people drink over there).

So we approached. The crooked branches patted our heads while we are
headed for the illuminated slackspace of a friendly Subgenius. But of
course we were just lured into a trap, although at this point we did
not know.

Nobody sat in front of the campsite, so we sung a song of joy and
happiness that sounded more or less like:

"Oi! Somebody there?"

Which was promptly replied with a rather neutral female voice who was
able to talk in capital letters. The words?


Well, we did, but not before Ankara gave some helpful advice on how to
work on your attitude shortly before X-Day, and how helpful it might
be to be actually nice once WE were on the saucers. Not that we are
vengeful or something.

Lighter joys

Sitting around the campfire of the Taphouse Cabal, Agent Lloyd said in
a rather low voice that he'd love it when somebody accidentally kicked
a lighter into the fire. Asquire, being helpful and probably only
hearing the word "lighter" threw his to Agent Lloyd.

"Please be careful and give it back, it's the only one I brought.",
Asquire added, just a second before somebody kicked his lighter into
the fire.

Morale: A little friendliness *can* go KABOOM in the night.

Understanding Weirdness

After the Pot Luck Dinner I was asked what the weirdest thing at X-Day
was that I had experienced so far. "Nothing", I quite truthfully said.
We discusses the concept of weirdness a bit, but the question was
asked over and over again.. "But if you *had* to decide, what was the
weirdest thing here?". Finally I carefully explained that I came to
Brushwood to feel normal for a week, not weird. I feel weird in
Pinkspace all the time.

Then some people wanted to be helpful and make it more weird for me by
telling racist and pedophile jokes; but this doesn't make things
weird, this just makes my mind killfile you.

And now for some more, less incident-related stuff.

I totally enjoyed being there. A big thanks to Assco, who is a really
great person. He fetched me from the airport although I flew Delta
(and thus, I was late, of course) and showed me the Niagara Falls. He
also took the time to drive me around every day and brought good beer.
Without him, it wouldn't have been great. Thanks again!

Actually I never wanted to go to the US. Although I travel a lot, it
was -more or less- one of the few countries on the planet I was not
really interested in. Brushwood and X-Day were the combination that
lured me into coming, though; and yes, I've only been there for X-Day.
After the saucers didn't show up, I left the country. Why bother
looking at the White House or something else, anyway.

All of you (ok, maybe I should use "Y'all" there, but you are quite
aware that my accent is different from that) were nice or at least
interesting to talk to. But that was to be expected from fellow Yeti,
wasn't it?

I guess the thing I really enjoyed was wandering around with a beer*
(see above. I am not talking about actual beer but the beverage that
says "Beer", contains alcohol and tastes like something else) in one
of my dirty paws, stopping wherever a group of people were sitting and
standing, and chatting with them. Or just listening.

Apart from that I made a solemn vow to scream at least once a day to
get rid of my Tingler, and thanks to Doktor Dark I will have to buy
more DVDs. "The 5000 fingers of Dr. T" was such a load of bull that I
just couldn't stop watching it.

Speaking of Doktors, Doc Pissoff and BarberAlien always gave me coffee
when I was staggering around like an undead in the early hours of the
morning. This way I didn't have to killa pagan and suck the marrow
from his/her bones, which usually also wakes me up.

Did I already mention that I had to sign a form saying I won't engage
in "immoral" activities while staing in the US, and that I won't bring
"obscene" material? A good thing that I have a totally different
understanding of those terms, so I gladly signed that form. The
government still thinks I am in the States, though; I have no stmap in
my passport saying I left, and I also still have the slip that you
should return when leaving the country; but nobody was controlling me
when I left.

This report is useless without your name, I know. In fact, I could go
on and praise SiS D's and Doc Frop's campsite (and all the people
usually hanging around there), the Taphouse Cabal and Ankara, Bucky
and the Duchess of Discord, the Amino Acids and Carter LeBlanc, but..
I am such a fanboy, I could praise EVERYONE right now.

So, <insert your name here>, it was also your fault that I didn't have
a bad time, fucker.

Priory of the "Bob"spiracy.
If you knew what was good for you, you wouldn't read Usenet.


From: "" <>

Indeed. I really should listen a little harder when a subgenius
requests a light. Its all well and good though. I was able to procure
more...for somewhere...


From: Rev. Razna <>

Good. Hopefully the little explosion gave you enough Slack to get over
the loss of the lighter..

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