Amsterdam Guestbook

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Achtung, Achtung!!!!!! It is imperative I get in touch with Mr. Evidence! No kidding. Stang.... if you're reading this, contact me at once! Re: BM in August.
Rev. Ryan
city of hope, USA - Friday, March 07, 2003 at 22:31:53 (EST)

Caxton- Exemplary. Mr. Finn as well as myself deported ourselves in an EXEMPLARY manner. This should convince you and Mr. Finn that I am who I claim to be. Best Regards, Rev. Ryan
Rev. Ryan
of Hope, USA - Friday, May 03, 2002 at 19:32:25 (EDT)

Dear Yeti, The Sub.European Tour will procede this year with a traveling Slackiful Mystery Tour again this year and will be an 8 country tour with shows in 6 major European cities. The tour is as follows: Mon. May 13th....Arrive at Schipol Airport Amsterdam Tues. May 14th....Day of slack and coffeeshops. Leave for Hamburg around 11:55pm on the bus. Wed. May 15th.... Hamburg...Chill and see the sights in PopeBlacks hometown., the golden city of Hamburg (Dobbsburg) This will include tours and drunken outings in Hamburgs infamous redlight district. Thur. May 16th......Recover. Friday May 17th....The 2nd Hamburg Devival.. The Fund Bureau Stressemann Str 113 Hamburg Germany..Doors open 8:00. First will be a showing of the ŃAriseě video and then the preachin!!! COST 8 Euro The bus will leave for Berlin right after the show. Sat. May 18th .....The 2nd Berlin Devival...Die Fischladen...Doors open at 21:00..Andy and Nancy of ŃKlingoně fame will host this show and headline it with thier smashing new Doktor band ŃAstral Terror Attackě. Cost about 8 Euro. Sun May 19th... Day of Slack Mon May 20th.. Day of slack with sight seeing in Germanys capital. This will include museums. The Brandenburg Tor, Reichstag, etc. etc.Monday night..Leave for Prague about 23:55. Tue. May 21st... Arrive in Prague. Sight seeing. Pub crawling with PopeBlack. Wed. May 22nd...The 1st Prague Devival.... The shows venue is in the works. Im not sure what we are getting for a venue but it will be something. I have the right people on it. More info TBA. Thur. May 23rd Chill and see the sights in Prague.. Bus leaves for Vienne at 23:55. Fri. May 24th...Arrive in Vienne.. Chill and see the sights. Sat May 25th...... The 1st Vienne Devival... Subgenius minister David White of Vienne is organizing a show at a yet to be named venue. He said it holds about 250 people. It will be something.. Venue TBA. Sunday May 26th... See the sights in Vienne. Monday May 27th travel to London. This will include a tour through the Alps. Tue May 28th. arrive in London.. See the sights and hit the pubs!!!! Wed May 29th...The London Devival... This should be a good one. There seems to be a quite large British SubGenius clench and there are SEVERAL SubGenius Doktors working on this show including Rev. Priest, Pope Micky Finn, Pastor Nobby Styles, among others. Venue TBA. Thur. May 30th. walk about in London..The bus leaves for Amsterdam about 23:55. Fri..May 31st..Arrive in Amsterdam and STRAIT TO THE FROP HOUSES!!!!!! The boys down at the Grey Area will probably be doing us a good deal on bags. Sat. June 1st.. The 5th Amsterdam Devival...This one is already a clasic. I canít believe itís already the 5th Devival. As always, the Show will be at the Bad Cuyp on the Albert Cuyp Straat. Appearing will be Rev Lord Yeti, Saint Protogoth, Saint Jeroon Van Braun among others. Cost 8 Euros. June 2nd.. Last day in Amsterdam. June 3rd.. Go home, or stay OR KILL ME!!! This tour is 3 weeks, the bus is airconditioned., has an on board kitchen and toilet. TV and video players. All hotel rooms are standard hotels and you will share a room with someone. Traveling on the bus will be mostly over night. The tour has been arranged through Rainbow Tours and you pay them direct. The cost is about $1000 per person including bus, hotels, ferry to England and taxes,however I might be able to talk them down a bit from that.. THIS DOES NOT INCLUDE AIRFARE!! There are 45 seats available. If you are interested in going on the SubEuroTour please contact PopeBlack at... popeblack@hotmail.com For more info visit the EuroSub site at: http://eurosubs.subnet.dk
popeblack <popeblack@hotmail.com>
Hamburg (Dobbsburg), Scientology Free Republic of Germany - Sunday, January 06, 2002 at 19:36:18 (EST)

http://eurosubs.subnet.dk
popeblack <popeblack@hotmail.com>
Hamburg (Dobbsburg), Scientology Free Republic of Germany - Sunday, January 06, 2002 at 19:35:57 (EST)

sorry, i meant to say: "am i dying..or is it the internet?" ( as a matter of fact i am dying..we're all dying..... a slow tortured death) btw, happy new year mick!
edfred
USA - Monday, December 31, 2001 at 17:00:14 (EST)

edfred - you're dying?
rev mickey finn
- Monday, December 31, 2001 at 09:28:26 (EST)

is the internet dying....or is it just me??
edfred
USA - Monday, December 24, 2001 at 02:15:08 (EST)

Indeed, sir. I have passed your recent message to my employer, currently touring the charnel-houses of Torquay. He has sent the following telegram in reply - "CAXTON YOU BLITHERING IDIOT STOP IF IT IS INDEED RYAN THEN ALL BETS ARE OFF STOP CHECK HE IS WHO HE SAYS HE IS STOP ASK HIM HOW WE COMPORTED OURSELVES IN AMSTERDAM STOP IF IT IS HIM HE WILL KNOW STOP" I trust this is of some help, sir. Incidentally, I am a personal valet, but when called upon to do so, can buttle with the best of them.
caxton
England - Sunday, December 02, 2001 at 09:59:51 (EST)

Now see here Caxton. I would just as soon hear from your employer himself as I am not accoustomed to taking second-hand information from butlers or valets. I'm certain you mean well and I will pass this on to Mr. Finn. What you probably don't know is this invitation was personally extended to myself and a selected few others by ...... listen, I don't have to explain this to you! See that Mr. Finn contacts me at once!!! Rev. Ryan
Rev. Ryan
USA - Saturday, December 01, 2001 at 16:23:20 (EST)

For your information, according to the latest figures from the International Institute of Stereotypical research, England is 12% less jolly at the moment than this time last year, currently having a Jolly rating of 23. In other news, Ireland is 8% more drunk, Scotlands' meanness is down 3%, Frances' arrogance is up 9, Germanys' efficiency is steady at 30, Spains' animal cruelty rating is through the roof at 50, Wales' singing is up 5, and America achieve a whopping 42 in brashness. Holland remains high at 4.20.
caxton <stone_junction@hotmail.com>
England - Saturday, November 17, 2001 at 09:04:04 (EST)

...Jolly ol' England, eh? Well, Rev Ryan, what you perceive as jolly may very well be...not so jolly. Things might not be what they appear. If we do go, the only feasible way to get there would be to swim. Jack LaLane has agreed to be our guide when we traverse the Channel.
iZone
USA - Friday, November 16, 2001 at 10:42:31 (EST)

My employer is currently touring plague pits in Wales, but has left firm instructions with me that in the event of rev Ryan issuing open invitations to any of his residences, I should point out that each home is equipped with state of the art anti-personnel technology, as well as a number of magickal defenses. Any attempts at forced ingress will be met with the very real possibility of both physical and spiritual degradation. Not even the fillings in your teeth will remain. He also hopes you are all well.
caxton,rev finns personal valet <stone_junction@hotmail.com>
The Angel Isle - Monday, November 12, 2001 at 09:41:37 (EST)

Let's all visit Mickey Finn at his palacial estate in jolly olde England. I'm sure we would be welcome and Mrs. Finn would not mind in the least. How's about it Mickey 'ol boy? Your pal... Rev. Ryan
Rev. Ryan
USA - Saturday, November 10, 2001 at 14:43:11 (EST)

Enema City 100%gratis: Free download de programas. Music Match, encore. chat. mp3. Partituras, Midis: Jaco Pastorius, Metallica, Tangos,Charly Garcia.Etc. musica,mp3,midi,free,gratis,ocio,"charly garcia",freeware,download,encore
Martiniano Picicco <enemacity@mailandnews.com>
LaPlata, BA Argentina - Sunday, November 04, 2001 at 11:28:50 (EST)

No need to email Pope Black - he's been haranguing me for months to go. can't be there.
philllllllllllllll
englandland - Saturday, October 20, 2001 at 10:32:08 (EDT)

a buncha people are going to germany next month, email pope black if youre interested
edfred
deeeeeeetroit, trashed USA - Saturday, October 20, 2001 at 01:26:09 (EDT)

so, is there an Amsterdam field trip next year? or is it cancelled "due to world events"?
Philllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll <pope_phil@ukdiuretics.com>
oop nurth, englandland - Thursday, October 18, 2001 at 16:46:15 (EDT)

We Have A Great Worry That Canada Will Invade Any Day Now. Weve Seen A Buildup Of Canadian Bacon And Labbatts On Our Eastern Border. Either Its An Invasion Or RUSH Is Having A Comeback Tour. Im Not Sure Which Is Worse!
edfred
Detroit, USA - Monday, August 20, 2001 at 07:19:26 (EDT)

Well heck, you're talkin' about Deetroit. Martial Law for you guys would prolly mean tanks and helicopter gunships.
nu-monet
USA - Sunday, August 19, 2001 at 22:52:22 (EDT)

hmmm, we must already have martial law in the US because police auxiliary and reserves have been around since the 67 riots here. we mainly only see them at parades and civil protests tho.
edfred
Detroit, USA - Sunday, August 19, 2001 at 07:43:04 (EDT)

Martial Law in England? The last time for "police auxiliaries" was during the "Chartist Rebellion"-- http://www.workersliberty.org/publications/eduprog/chartist.htm http://www.sunday-times.co.uk/ (Sunday, Aug 19, 2001) A NEW uniformed civilian force, including thousands of traffic wardens with powers to detain offenders, is proposed in a leaked Whitehall document on the future of the police service. The proposed blueprint, to be considered by Home Office ministers, envisages giving the wardens greater powers to penalise errant motorists, target criminals and even monitor sex offenders and young thugs on curfew. Together with a new generation of street wardens - trusted members of the public recruited from communities - they could be given powers to detain motorists and pedestrians, holding them until police arrive to make a full arrest. The aim of the new "combined police auxiliary force" of traffic and street wardens is to free up police so they can concentrate on more serious criminal and antisocial behaviour.
nu-monet
USA - Saturday, August 18, 2001 at 22:59:37 (EDT)

Nice site...
clipart <olwhwal@1musicrow.com>
USA - Wednesday, August 15, 2001 at 18:24:21 (EDT)

apparently Jenna Jameson DVD's are brand new and very cheap. I've never been SO excited
phillllllllllllllll <pope_phil@ukdiuretics.com>
- Sunday, July 29, 2001 at 08:51:53 (EDT)

HITLER PORN! See The Infamous One Scrotum Testicle That Launched A Madman To The Height Of An Empire. Eva Braun Co-Stars In The Home Movies YOU WERENT SUPPOSED TO SEE. Only Availiable In SUPER 8 and SLIDE PROJECTOR Formats.
Fritz <Fritz@TheySavedHitlersCock..de>
Nuremburg, DEUTSCHLAND - Saturday, July 28, 2001 at 09:03:27 (EDT)

JENNA JAMESON DVD's BRAND NEW VERY CHEAP I have brand new Jenna Jameson DVD's Brand new, will sell one by one or by quantity. Email me for more info: blacklight1@onebox.com
JENNA JAMESON DVD's BRAND NEW VERY CHEAP <blacklight1@onebox.com>
USA - Wednesday, July 25, 2001 at 22:17:43 (EDT)

Let's just cut the crap! Remember, I sold you out to the Columbians before and I'll do it again. In fact, I'm putting together a sweet deal right now. I just might sell you out to the Canadians this time. I don't give a damn. How would you like that?
Bob
you know, USA - Thursday, July 05, 2001 at 16:48:18 (EDT)

Canada Is Definately There, Why Its There Is The Mass Illusion.
name withheld
BarterTown, Drunk AngloKingdom - Sunday, June 24, 2001 at 00:49:52 (EDT)

there is no Canada - it is an mass illusion.
phyllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
lungland - Saturday, June 23, 2001 at 18:53:23 (EDT)

Drink Canada Dry.
rev mickey finn
engerland - Friday, June 22, 2001 at 02:38:53 (EDT)

Umph, eh. Who said any-thing about CANADA?! I didn't say anything about CANADA. I mean, there's LOTS of countries that begin with "C". You have no proof that I meant CANADA. Admittedly, Canadian villagers are, eh...NO! Don't you DARE assume I meant CANADA. BTW, are you allergic to back bacon?
nu-monet
USA - Wednesday, June 20, 2001 at 19:47:58 (EDT)

If you absolutely positively need to "disappear", it can be arranged. A comfy villa in the nation of C_____________ where the local authorities are well padded. You can even have some 'entertainment' from the local villagers, no questions asked. This assumes that you can meet the rather hefty *mordida*--best payable in gold. And my fee, also substantial. Results guaranteed or the plastic surgery is on the house.
nu-monet
USA - Wednesday, June 20, 2001 at 19:42:49 (EDT)

Ryan. take his advice and run. I can't help you now. and I've revealed the contents of THE ENVELOPE... but only Stang and Izzo know the full truth
phillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
just south of scotland - Wednesday, June 20, 2001 at 14:07:32 (EDT)

Ryan, you can run, but you can not hide. Even Phil can't help you now. You have stepped beyond the pale and outside the ring of Bob's jurisdiction.
Pope Bob Russell
Nothing, az USA - Tuesday, June 19, 2001 at 18:11:57 (EDT)

there were PICTURES drawn by CHILDREN in the envelope!!!
philllll
englandland - Tuesday, June 19, 2001 at 15:53:36 (EDT)

I think, THINK, I know what was in that envelope. He/She/It, begins with an *N*, and ends with a *H*. I pray I am wrong again. Help me PHILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. I'm scared of the torture chair!
Rev. Ryan
Black Rock City, NV. USA - Monday, June 18, 2001 at 22:15:37 (EDT)

Visit Enema City!! the best page on web!
Oliverio <enemacity@mailandnews.com>
La Plata, BA Argentina - Saturday, June 16, 2001 at 16:54:07 (EDT)

I KNOW what was in the envelope.
phillllllllllllllllllllllllll
USA - Thursday, June 07, 2001 at 20:06:08 (EDT)

YIKES!!!
izone
FORBIDDEN, USA - Thursday, June 07, 2001 at 14:40:29 (EDT)

Perhaps the envelope had a pretty butterfly in it.
rev mickey finn
votebob - Wednesday, June 06, 2001 at 17:48:44 (EDT)

The terrible and filthy--all of you in fact--cannot fathom the dark and hidieous content of Ryan's confession. We must take arms against this outrageous ill-fortune that befalls us in the wake of what may be revealed--by this renegage subgenius minister-- regarding the contents of The ENVELOpe. The information now foments in the steam of ancient bloody urine kegged and corked up in the empty knumbskulls of all the tenents soaking sun and salt down in Slab City. Papal beatings and various and sundry other punishments are forthcoming. So fess (as In Parker) up.
Pope Bob Russell
nothing, az USA - Tuesday, June 05, 2001 at 15:40:03 (EDT)

If it was a movie, it was "Prospero's Books", which is one of the finest examples of moviemaking I have ever seen.
nu-monet
USA - Saturday, June 02, 2001 at 22:19:00 (EDT)

nu-monet: happy birthday from all the gang! Thanks for making it to A-dam this year and for the anti-snore tape. p.s. Was the movie you mentioned *Precious Books*?
Rev. Ryan
Ca USA - Thursday, May 31, 2001 at 19:13:39 (EDT)

On the day I was born, the soft-boiled egg of the sun broke on the dirty kitchen floor of the sky, the phlegm-colored runny parts commingling with the cat hairs of the city's anxious despair as I was spat from my mother's angry womb to the curses of a toothless asthmatic shaman-OB/GYN.
nu-monet
USA - Wednesday, May 30, 2001 at 11:30:01 (EDT)

sadly, can't make it to Brushwood. much regrets
philllllllllllll
Englandland - Tuesday, May 29, 2001 at 16:30:05 (EDT)

Any of the old world apes allez au atlantic to join us at Brushwood? Observe the juvenile sharp shanked thrashers in a woodland habitat. Watch the as the bonobo shed their winter coats and don splendid plumage. It's a whole new world!!! Besides I like your accents.
N-Ty-see-sea-C <jiffrob339@hotmail.com>
Anytown, USA - Friday, May 25, 2001 at 10:55:27 (EDT)

The doctrine begins with "I refuse to recognize my membership in the human community." How eloquently stated. Because it is all too true. Now when my mind begins to wander, I can gaze up and fix my senses on the Pledge that I took long ago. While exiting my Mother's womb and entering into this cold society, I came to the realization that the only thing I wanted to do was climb right back inside and drift into a gentle slumber. This Pledge of citizenship to the Subgenius helps me understand that I don't belong here. And neither does anyone one of us. We all belong back in the womb. A very sacred place. This doctrine assists in the replenishment of slack and the realization that these words and thoughts that I type, do not add up to jack shit. But I am not alone. With one swift draw of the pen, President Bush can make a Bill into a Law. However, just as this jibberish that I type, it still does not add up to jack shit. The Flowers that we plant, the skyscrapers that we build, it all doesn't add up to jack shit. Please sir, put that in the true pipe and smoke it!!! Regards, I=nothing
Rev.L
Watery, ill USA - Thursday, May 24, 2001 at 13:39:49 (EDT)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
St. Izone
USA - Wednesday, May 23, 2001 at 10:27:57 (EDT)

BoB- I might have something to confess, but in an effort to save you unnecessary trouble I suggest you inject me with a few cc's of sodium penethol then set the Inquisitor General(St. izone) loose on me. If I don't *break*, then you'll know I've been lying all along.
Rev. Ryan
Downtown Murmansk, USSR - Tuesday, May 22, 2001 at 19:32:37 (EDT)

Safety as in razor, or as in rubber. Or neither. And, it's about time Ryan confessed!!!!
Bob Russell
nothing, az USA - Tuesday, May 22, 2001 at 18:51:41 (EDT)

Must one use the "safety word" to do the "safety dance"?
Sterno <not.sterno@sterno.com>
Notsterno, Inebriation Sterno - Tuesday, May 22, 2001 at 10:09:32 (EDT)

Damn that safety word. Just as I was beginning to loosen up.
rev m f
The Glorp Trail - Tuesday, May 22, 2001 at 02:32:39 (EDT)

STOP!!! ... "The Head"... "THE HEAD!!!!!!"
Philllllllllllllllllllllll
englandland - Monday, May 21, 2001 at 19:04:18 (EDT)

How about some T & A? Right after I get some R & R, neatly sidestepping the S & M whilst minding my Ps and Qs. I 'n' I? P.S. - Never play D and D in a B and B, OK? A
rev mickey finn <stone_junction@hotmail.com>
Undecided - Monday, May 21, 2001 at 02:20:23 (EDT)

Ryan, if I knew what a "T&T(squared)" IS, then you might have a deal... if it's not too scary
Philllllllllll (Pope) (not Phil Pope - that's someone other than I)
oop Nurth, Englandland - Sunday, May 20, 2001 at 13:03:54 (EDT)

It's all starting to add up now.
izonelaieer
renalandia, pv USA - Saturday, May 19, 2001 at 16:49:59 (EDT)

Hi. 0100 0010 0110 1111 0110 0010. Wait, that's not right... Yup. The Rev. Jim J'lahn, MS, II_III_II "the COMPLETED 111 experience of J'lahn: 1965-2000" http://home.att.net/~jlwn111 The Most Holy Trinity of the ALL SEVEN - Lodge #111 Lawrence, Kansas (Field Office in Newton, NJ [Fredon Township])
The Rev. Jim J'lahn, MS, II_III_II <jlwn111@worldnet.att.net>
Lawrence, KS USA - Saturday, May 19, 2001 at 14:46:28 (EDT)

I don't think I'm fropped anymore, but I'm still not sure. Too many nights and days aimlessly wandering through the small crowded streets of Heaven on Earth. Scrutinized by ladies of the night, beckoned to their doors only to float on a puffed cloud down the canal to a seat that swallowed me whole. My mind, on which the lease is almost up, is returning gradually. Some had to come back on other flights, some stored with the baggage and yet more still is being scraped from the pipe of BOB and mailed home in small envelopes. I gave bums haircuts, I smoked the good frop with the intensity of a crack addict and forgot to remember to forget what I was doing in those dark places. Giving my self to the whisp that was expelled from each door of each coffeehouse I preached at, I became less myself and more myself. Less me, more BOB! Less BOB, more BOB! ALL BOB!! Now I am returned to a land or repressive ignorance which I try to fight against in order to let the people see what and who they are and why they are here! >THINK< DOWN WITH THE PINK!! Until I return, I thank you all.
Rev. Goya O. Boya <Goya_Beans@Hotmail.Com>
Where Am I, Earth - Saturday, May 19, 2001 at 11:18:58 (EDT)

Remember that mine was a clandestine mission, but I CAN tell what was NOT in that envelope.....the Ether. Only Nicki came close to guessing the true contents. So close, in fact, I began to get THE FEAR!
Rev. Ryan
Anytown, USA - Friday, May 18, 2001 at 19:03:43 (EDT)

Mickey & Monty; make it a T&T(squared) and you have a deal!
Rev. Ryan
Detroit, Mi. USA - Friday, May 18, 2001 at 18:55:53 (EDT)

The burgandy scarf is now in my greasy hands and will not be relinquished until 1.I drink enough burgandy. 2 the indian patterns reveal the secrets of the true pipe. 3.the river Styx runs with burgandy. 4. Ryan tells the secrets of The envelope.
izonelaieer
Reenalland, rz USA - Friday, May 18, 2001 at 13:41:42 (EDT)

did somebody find my scarf? it's burgundy red with a nice indian patrn on it, it has a lot of emotional value for me so i like to have it back. The last time i saw it was at the deviaval in the badcuyp. if anybody took it please send it back! Thanx.
Lord Yeti <jitseverwer@chello.nl>
Amsterdam, Holy Land - Friday, May 11, 2001 at 11:35:38 (EDT)

Ryan, Mickey. I know something you don't... yes, I am now aware of the contents of THE ENVELOPE... and the truth is more bizarre and mysterious than ANY of us could have imagined on that chilly Amsterdam evening...
Phillllllllllllllllllllll
Englandland - Tuesday, May 08, 2001 at 18:35:03 (EDT)

It's true, you know. Ryan wanted to deliver the bidniss then get the HELL out of there, but I forced him to stay on, fearing there may have been some chemical threat in that fat manila envelope, and guessing he'd have the antidote if there was one. REVEREND PRIEST - tell us your e-mail address, various parties wish to contact you. There may be a G and T in it for you.
mickey finn (rev) <stone_junction@hotmail.com>
England - Tuesday, May 08, 2001 at 02:36:41 (EDT)

Pope Monty: indeed I do owe you an apology, and here it is. I'm sorry that I cannot divulge the contents of that *package* because even I have absolutely no knowledge/idea as to it's contents. Had I been asked the same question by the *authorities* I'm afraid I would have had the same answer. The thought is quite disturbing I assure you. Actually, I was acting as a courier or *errand boy* and had no intention of staying any longer than it took to deliver the "Official Church Business". Mickey Finn saw to it that I became unable to leave even over my constant protests. Perhaps Rev. Stang could/would clue you in. Again, I'm truly sorry and that is the truth and I always lie. Your Pal, Rev. Ryan
Rev.Ryan
Dutch Goose, Ca. USA - Monday, May 07, 2001 at 19:10:10 (EDT)

Ryan. You owe me an apology. For weeks now i've been wondering what was in that package. Tell me. I can't sleep nights.
Phillllllll Montyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy (Pope, North)
USA - Thursday, April 26, 2001 at 18:22:16 (EDT)

Well, Immaculita the llama says that you never call or write. It seems that she has an, er, medical condition that you had best become aware of. Oh, and the Madame Tussaud's people want that certain body part of Jimmy Carter back.
nu-monet
USA - Monday, April 23, 2001 at 09:30:16 (EDT)

To whom it may concern: Please enter your name and return address if you think I owe you some kind of apology. Also, please include behaviour(on my part) that warrants this apology. Thank you, sincerely, Rev.Ryan.
Rev. Ryan
Saigon, Vietnam - Friday, April 20, 2001 at 20:22:57 (EDT)

Dr. Notaw has, rightly, not added photos of my arse to the gallery. All access to my arse is RESTRICTED
pope phil monty <pope_phil@ukdiuretics.com>
oop nurth, the cursed realm - Thursday, April 19, 2001 at 14:48:41 (EDT)

This message board doesn't accept HTML tags. So here you have the url to copy and paste: http://hjem.get2net.dk/notaw/subgenius.html
dk notaw <notaw@lineone.net>
USA - Monday, April 16, 2001 at 19:11:42 (EDT)

I have my little SubGenius Portfolio online. With photographs from this years Amsterdam trip (slightly edited), last years and lat Summer's X-day Celebration in Kiel, Germany. More will probably be added at some point, don't ask me when. My SubGenius Portfolio
dk notaw <notaw@lineone.net>
USA - Monday, April 16, 2001 at 19:10:39 (EDT)

Nu-monet, Due to professional and ethical reasons, I thought it best to keep the ether under strict control. After administering it to myself, I found it not in keeping with proper conduct to force it on an unwilling *vessel*. You, however, were not left out. As a matter of fact, that time in the Park when you went on an uncontrollable rampage was due in part to you having been given only a tiny quantity. More on this subject later. Rev. Ryan
Frank Booth
Lumberton, Or. USA - Friday, April 13, 2001 at 17:53:35 (EDT)

Ha you thought you have been fooling me where in fact it is I who have been fooling me for though I thoroughly and thoughtfully thought through the thoughtlessness of the thread, I am a clone. But I am *not* the clone for whom you seek, but his simulcrum. The *real* clone got away, and is still on the other side of the Vondelpark! chipping away at this alternative reality until the quantum vibrations stop humming so damn loudly at all hours of the day and night.
Zuul-monet
USA - Wednesday, April 11, 2001 at 12:03:23 (EDT)

Two weeks? nu-monet, it's been FIVE YEARS! The ice-caps have melted! Flight 19 has returned! Will Smith is president! J'lahn is now leader of the church! Ether abuse is not only legal, it's MANDATORY! You crossed into the Twilight Zone in the Vondelpark, didn't you? Zuul if you think it's over.
rev mickey finn <stone_junction@hotmail.com>
Pied-et-Bouche - Wednesday, April 11, 2001 at 02:20:39 (EDT)

Ryan, you bastard. You had ETHER and you didn't share? Shit, bwana, I would'a proposed a SHORTDURMAR to Crawford if'n I had been on ETHER. come to think of it it was prolly a good idea that you didn't. Those'd be sum ugly-ass kids. Oh, gosharuuny, I was naughty. Bad clone. Bad shrooms. Ouch. How long does it take to come down from these things, anyway? It's been, what, two weeks now?
nu-monet
USA - Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 21:40:19 (EDT)

J'lahn, how much money you got? Money talks if you wanna fork it over im sure theres plenty of people in "the church" (hell, any church) thatll make you feel good about yourself again and make you feel like you belong. Of course that wont be the truth...but hell, the truth hurts anyways dont it.
Broke
Broken City, RU - Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 21:06:25 (EDT)

Pope Monty:I'll tell you all about it after I confess my involvment with the ether and an aborted attempt to ask for Nickie's hand in a short-duration marriage(licence and all). Maybe Crawford was right; some of us may have been better off at the bar in Des Moines airport. Mr. Finn, you have all my respect and are currently my short-duration personal saviour. I hate you all and yes, I stuck myhead in the fence. Your Pal, Rev. Ravin' Ryan
Rev. Ryan
Des Moines , IIoi USA - Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 19:20:00 (EDT)

Hi. I've already sent in over $275 (and you know I'll send even more if that's what it takes!). I know I wasn't worthy (based on my shameful behavior) and maybe I'm still not (I hope that's not the case --- only you folks know for sure?). So... what do I have to do to get "right" with "Bob"? I want to be "in" with "Bob" --- I want YOU. I want to be IN "Bob". I do. I'll call into the CSB show next week? Maybe we can speak then? Listen, I know the end is near. I know I need salvation. I know I'll send more money if that's what it takes. I know I NEED "Bob". I know I'm WALLOWING (fucking wallowing) without him. I know that. Oh I don't know... The [soon to be?] Rev. Jim J'lahn, MS, II_III_II --- (but for now I AM [just] J'lahn). http://home.att.net/~jlwn111 "the COMPLETED 111 experience of J'lahn: 1965-2000" p.s. 1 --- I'm sorry I freaked out on "the process". I should have been more mellow (and patient). Sometimes I just get carried away. It's one of my areas for improvement. I need to take some classes. I need to move from "accomplished" to "role model" and I know that's what it will take. Some Classes. You know, I really wanted to walk right up to you in the park --- but it wasn't the right time. That place WAS scary. It still is. 111= 7. II_III_II = "all seven". p.s. 2 --- 1) 111=7. 2) III=3. 3) 3=7. 4) Hex F = 1111 = 15 = OMEGA. 5) "...commenced on April 2, 1948 at 1.11 P.M."
J'lahn <jlwn111@worldnet.att.net>
Lawrence, KS USA - Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 18:25:47 (EDT)

I played my first show back home tonight and like usual, in a room of 20 people, 2 or 3 clapped. Though I am used to this, have accepted my unacceptance, I am compelled to repeat my mantra over and over "Mere humans. Mere fucking humans" it made me miss the best unclapped audiences that are Subgenius. Queefs and kisses, Vagina Jones
Vagina Dentata Jones <kingleah99@hotmail.com>
Seattle, WA USA - Saturday, April 07, 2001 at 04:50:13 (EDT)

Dokstok 2001: The Amsterdam Spectacle. My photographs from the Amsterdam this year have been posted to alt.binaries.slack for your pleasure. They will also appear at some point on my website.
doktor notaw <notaw@lineone.net>
Nowhere, UK - Friday, April 06, 2001 at 16:20:46 (EDT)

That's it, I'm moving. The time we spent in Amsterdam was awesome, but the tour was fucking great. I took my first Exctasy trip with Pope Black in Berlin at our last show. There were hundreds of people there in this really cool, huge, squat. We've got to go for longer next time. I must say, though I have been glowing a bit since I've been back, I miss seeing all your four eyed, bruised, beaten, chewed up and spit out faces :(
Vagina Jones <kingleah99@hotmail.com>
Seattle, WA USA - Friday, April 06, 2001 at 01:07:15 (EDT)

Oh yes! Oh ya! Ein falafel bitte!! Ein biere bitte!! We brought slack to the strident honkies of Germany!! They'll goosestep no more!! They'll join the Ministy of Silly Walks instead!! The Pope married us to a joke political party that hands out cards saying the bearer of this card is GOD (they call the cranky dude GOTT). We all went into the bathroom and consummated the marriage in a loud orgy. But most of all, we followed Pope Black and lived to tell the tallest tale! And now those Krauts ain't sour no more! A round of Victory Cabbage and Jagershmeister to all.......!!
FYODOR!
USA - Wednesday, April 04, 2001 at 11:16:24 (EDT)

FYODOR!! YOU SURVIVED!!! Did y'all bring slack to Germany?
rev mickey finn
Outdoor Bar-B-Q - Tuesday, April 03, 2001 at 18:49:54 (EDT)

Mickey Finn--That may all be true except for that part about the transformation of your roommate whom I happen to know is a quiet, shy and reserved fellow who only joined the Church because "Bob"'s pipe smoking reminds him of a thoughtful day spent in the drawing room. This "theatrical lunatic" you speak of must be an entirely different personality altogether. Now that I've straightened that out, think I'll jump on a llamma and ride off into the sunset... YEE-HAW!!!
Little Fyodor <littlefyodor@yahoo.com>
USA - Tuesday, April 03, 2001 at 13:24:52 (EDT)

I was most disturbed to find photographs of myself on alt.binaries.slack apparently in the locale of Amsterdam. I have no memory of having been there, and believe this to be an elaborate hoax on the part of certain factions of the church. I do however seem to have recurring dream images of Pope Black's disshevelled arse letting forth a mighty flame and destroying the conspiracy, Rev Ryan laying out an entire pharmacy on the table of a dive bar, Phil Montys' bare bu-tox besmirching a mahogany stool, Crawford dressed as a jungle-beast, Jitse dressed as Noel Coward on his night off, "Richard Cheese", "Zuul", my room-mate transforming into an eccentric theatrical wacked lunatic before my very eyes, a thick pall of Frop smoke filling a sunlit coffeeshop, aged sacks being drained, PVC clad angels ministering to my bad bones, Nickie being on the receiving end of possibly the most incompetent and doomed seduction ploy I have ever seen, snow from another world, being asked by a seven foot euro-hillbilly "do you swing?", and all to the tape-loop of Da Mystic Homeboy laughing sinisterly. Does anybody share similar recovered memories? Write to me, and Whitley Streiber, at the below address.
rev mickey finn <stone_junction@hotmail.com>
CowPyre - Monday, April 02, 2001 at 18:18:55 (EDT)

Doc Frop and I are finally cleared of the Nieuw Amsterdam virus. We had an AMAZING time, got to see alot more of the city, learn more of the language & smoke more "Bob"-damned 'frop than I thought possible! Thanks to everyone who came... you guys, along with my darling Doc, were the ones who MADE this happen. Next year's will be scheduled MUCH earlier, in hopes of findig a hotel that we can not only 'frop in comfortably, but one that we might perhaps entirely fill. This will be harder... you may not know if you'll have the money. Nothing is set in stone yet but keep this in mind....we're hoping to organize it all by the end of about August or September. This should really increase our chance of finding a Subgenius-friendly hotel. Thanks to you all, again. I am filled with Slack & love for all of my Yeti family. Hugs to the Euro-subs!
Sister Decadence <decadence@subgenius.com>
USA - Sunday, April 01, 2001 at 17:05:01 (EDT)

Ryan. what about your lobotomy
pope phil monty <pope_phil@ukdiuretics.com>
- Sunday, April 01, 2001 at 10:36:59 (EDT)

so, who was the guy who was on the wrong end of Stang's wrath at the devival? was it.. you know... HIM?
pope phil monty <pope_phil@ukdiuretics.cim>
oop nurth, the cursed realm - Sunday, April 01, 2001 at 10:36:10 (EDT)

If you wanna see the Rammstein Snow White and the kinky dwarfs video (in RealPlayer): http://www.rammstein.com/_special/01_01/sonne.html login: sonne password: 123456789aus This video I found deeply, Germanically disturbing.
nu-monet
USA - Saturday, March 31, 2001 at 19:39:52 (EST)

Didn't I say we'd meet Snow White?
rev mickey finn
undergland - Saturday, March 31, 2001 at 05:20:54 (EST)

Look, I'm sorry. What with those shrooms and that funky Rammstein video--over and over again--I just got to thinking that it was trying to tell me something. Well, at least I sterilized my swiss knife first. BTW, did you find my knife? I think I misplaced it somewhere, along with one of my rubber gloves.
nu-monet
USA - Friday, March 30, 2001 at 21:40:23 (EST)

Ask me about my lobotomy.
Rev. Ryan
Ca. USA - Thursday, March 29, 2001 at 19:07:36 (EST)

well, i hope y'all had WAY TOO MUCH FUN!!!!!! cleftlandz under piles o' snow... prayz baub...
gnrmish
cleveland , oh USA - Tuesday, March 27, 2001 at 14:33:45 (EST)

The trip was glorious. On the last day, Rev. Tele-Evangelista removed all of my teeth with a leatherman tool, and replaced them with faximiles made from pure pressed THC. As I passed the customs officer, I flashed him a grin so slackfull that the mere reflected light off of my faux dentures got him as high as a goddamned saucer. When I finally arrived home, every member of the local clench was invited to share in: The Breathing of the Breath of "Bob" There were those who swore that as our pipe was passed, a second spectral pipe was passing with it. To all of my bretheren and sistren who were there in Amsterdam, thank you so much. Good company, like good frop, is seldom found in such large quantitys. And as the smoke finally clears... special thanks to Doc. Frop and Sis Decadance for pushing this whole bloody screaming mess into reality. And Pope Black, wield your mighty thunderbolt of chaos boldly against the con forever. -Carter
Rev. Carter LeBlanc <carter_leblanc@hotmail.com>
USA - Tuesday, March 27, 2001 at 13:45:29 (EST)

So . . . who's going to Wacken with me and Pope Black in August? Fucking OPETH is playing!!!!!!!! If you don't know about Opeth, kill yourself NOW! - Sterno
Rev. Sterno <sternodox@aristotle.net>
Total Satan, VX Xanadu - Monday, March 26, 2001 at 17:36:21 (EST)

http://subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/A-DAM2001/A-Dam2001.html -- there you will find my initial report and a couple dozen of Princess Wei's best digital pics from the trip. Another way to get there is via the EVENTS button on the SubSITE first page.
Rev. Ivan Stang <stang@subgenius.com>
Cleveland, OH USA - Monday, March 26, 2001 at 04:24:29 (EST)

Ahhh Doc Frop and Sis D should be boarding their Yeti-aircraft now. I still wonder what Dave is up to? Has he found out which way to turn the key? Anyhow, I am flying back home in 3 hours, thanks to everyone for a blast of a trip. All your base are belong to "Bob."
doktor notaw <notaw@lineone.net>
FROP, HOLLAND - Monday, March 26, 2001 at 04:01:21 (EST)

Ahoy there maties! We/I got back home after that 19-hour flight during which THE SUN NEVER MOVES and it stays late afternoon the WHOLE TIME. WARNING: you know that wretched head-cold that blew me down for a day? Well, WEI HAS IT NOW, so, if your head has suddenly started to feel like an over inflated balloon, and you're sneezing snot-ropes down your beard every 5 minutes, YOU DO TOO! The Nieu Amsterdamvirus! // I have culled down Wei's pics, and have writ up a little diary, and I shall post those on SubSITE forthwith. Also, I have heard the radio show tape, and it HAS SOUND ON IT!! // We successfully, THROUGH SHEER IGNORANCE, smuggled tulip bulbs home. Didn't even know we were doing it. If it had been Frop, we'd have been caught for sure! // I had 356 emails awaiting me! // Congratulations to US ALL for making it a GREAT TRIP! Next time we'll get a hotel that TAKES BRIBES!
Rev. Stang <stang@subgenius.com>
Cleveland, OH USA - Sunday, March 25, 2001 at 20:34:14 (EST)

Frop, you wanker. Can't smoke fer shit? I resemble that remark. And bear in mind, you'd probably find the bastard love child of Bob Marley and Janis Joplin to be a cream puff on the drug front. But I sure did enjoy trying to keep up with you. Phil, do you think we can get someone to post nu-monet out of there? And if so, what would we write on the Customs label? Ryan, write me when you wake up, and we'll compile the "Comportment for Gentleman Drinkers Handbook."
rev mickey finn <stone_junction@hotmail.com>
Not there - Sunday, March 25, 2001 at 18:17:59 (EST)

ok ok. so i can't smoke dope for shit. (I don't play piano either) I'm a non-smoker and sometimes don't drag down properly... when I do get a decent hit I don't always handle it too well. but hey; I'm not the one who took a face-dive. ------------ Anyway, the snot monsters have visited again - same as last year. The bonus is that I'm coughing up globs of mucus that're 95% pure hash... - I now just need a way of reusing it...
pope phil monty <pope_phil@ukdiuretics.com>
oop nurth, the cursed realm - Sunday, March 25, 2001 at 15:32:28 (EST)

Micky-boy! We forgot Nu-Monet - we've left him behind!!!! my god man - we've got to go back.
pope phil monty <pope_phil@ukdiuretics.com>
oop nurth, the cursed realm - Sunday, March 25, 2001 at 14:51:42 (EST)

Dang, I'm even more bummed I wasn't there. It's a long story. Anyway, glad it was a full house. Rev. Dave & Rev. Carter are doing ok. In my sleep-fogged state (just flew in today), I can't remember which is which. One's on his way home to NY; the other's gonna catch up in Kiel or Berlin. Hi to Nancy & Andi and Pope Black, yer flannel shirt's here! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ DROPPED CARRIER
Rev. Carl <carlg@vermilion-sands.com>
Amsterdam, USA - Sunday, March 25, 2001 at 11:43:54 (EST)

Ho hummm, nearly over, I fly home tommorow. If there are any Sub's still in the city who wanna come drink and frop themselves into a decent sleep with me so I can get up early and catch the plane tommorow, then you can come meet me in the Blarney Stone near Central Station tween about five and seven on Nieuwen Dijk, I'll be the one plastered in the corner trying to focus on a book I've been pretending to read. Yeah yeah, I know, it's an Irish pub but I NEED CIDER.
Rev. Priest <a@b.xc>
Amsterdam, AM NL - Sunday, March 25, 2001 at 08:30:19 (EST)

Just a few hours to go for me. It's been beautiful. I'm fropped as hell. Thank you to all who participated, I'll be home in less than 24 hours, (exit humming)I got a date... a date to see... mah bonobo baayyybeee... -Rev. Carter LeBlanc
Rev. Carter LeBlanc <carter_leblanc@hotmail.com>
Hempsterdamn, Netterlends - Sunday, March 25, 2001 at 07:05:39 (EST)

Well, it sure WASN'T snowing in ANY of the coffeeshops!! Down to the last remnants here. Me, SisD, Rev Carter and Dave, Rev Priest and Dr. Notaw are all that remain. Everyone piled tons of hash and strange bud on us. Yea, I know, it's really rough!! It's been a hell of a follow-up to the initial voyage out last year. The Devival was FINE! Lots of great ranting and unbelievable performances by Vagina Jones, Little Fyodor, Duke O Uke and Bliss America. The Brit boys have been a real bizarre addition. They can't smoke for shit though! Too many snakes in my head to go any further. All the pics and comments will get posted later this week. I've got a sack of hash bon-bons for the plane ride back to Hell. Figure eating one every half hour should get the snakes all riled up for the landing in Atlanta. Hope they have a wheelchair waiting for me! May wander over to the red light district tonight. Since Philo left all the hookers have come back out. I think they really feared his huge Amerikan sacks!! I'll smoke a bowl of hash in honor of each of you guys tonight.
Doc Frop <frop@subgenius.com>
A'dam, Sativa NL - Sunday, March 25, 2001 at 06:52:33 (EST)

I'm still here and you're not! Pfffbbbblllll! To review the devival, first I have to extend confabulations, with a generous hip-hip-grab-yer-buttocks to the EUROYETTIS for their spectacular turnout and devival performances. It all began with a sort of eerily Rocky-Horror kind of ROTARIAN gathering, with the chicken ala king salad and toasties to the most PRODUCTIVE member of the cabal. But INSTEAD of spoon on the glass let's welcome our newest member, Freddie, it SPOOGED into a glorious takeoff, flameout and cannibal freeforall I've come to know and lust. Rev STANG provided the typically righteous obsidian knife let's party opener, then, let's say it was all aroundhill from there...
nu_monet
USA - Saturday, March 24, 2001 at 13:30:50 (EST)

late afternoon: Amsterdam: near the Central Station: all our pals haf GONE. erm... didn't someone mention something about a bottle of ether...don't touch the Hawaiian ether... pope micky has just had THE THING taken off him for the final time. there ain't no absinthe worth a DAM in this here town. the steets are flooded and there are heavy rocks above the doorways. Doc Frop's snakes have escaped form his head and we've been chasing them round the Museumplein. ether? You say "ether:, I say "ether" - "ether", "urethra", oh let's call the whole thing off. honestly. the whole thang as been a blast-and-a-half. anyione who wasn't here is a dumbass, or a dumas. (Unless absent due to health problems, or financial, or ..er.. rolling paper runs out.. M. Finn. P. Monty (Popes, inc.)
pope phil monty <pope_phil_and_milky_finn@ukdiuretics.com>
Amsterdammmmm, yup - Saturday, March 24, 2001 at 10:58:06 (EST)

Glad you FUCKS are having a good time. You should use your current state of 'fropfulness to ATAIN MORE SLACK and buy yourself ANOTHER ticket to Amsterdam in August and join me and Pope Black for a trip to the Wacken Open-Air Festival . . . which is in Germany about 45 minutes from the Pope's Hamburg abode. CHECK OUT THIS LINE-UP!!!! Annihilator, Behemoth, Blackshine, Cage, Carnal Forge, Cryptopsy, Culprit, Dark Tranquillity, Deceased, Desaster, Dimmu Borgir, Exhumed, Exumer, Grave Digger, Holy Moses, In Flames, Krisiun, Lacuna Coil, Metalium, Mortician, Napalm Death, Nasum, Nevermore, Nightwish, Nostradamus, Opeth, Paul Di'Anno, Primal Fear, Sins Of Thy Beloved, Sodom, Soilwork, Sonata Arctica, Subway To Sally, Tad Morose, Tankard, The Haunted, Therion w/ orchestra, Vintersorg, VoiVod & Warhammer. HOLY SHIT!!!!!!! I'll be heading over there about the third week in July. The Festival is August 3-4. AND IT WON'T BE SNOWING!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! - Sterno
Rev. Sterno <sternodox@aristotle.net>
Toolz, ID Juno - Friday, March 23, 2001 at 11:15:39 (EST)

Yo cats - a quick shout out to all you mutants from the Leidseplein, home of monster frop and cheap net access. The devival is tonight, and all the doktors are in primoi form for a truly incoherent evening. Details will doubtless be forthcoming. Gotta go rescue Nickie from the RLD now. Auf wiederfroppen!
Rev. Crawford
The Promised Land, ZZ NL - Friday, March 23, 2001 at 08:59:06 (EST)

Only eight and a half hours to go until "Bob's" word is preached to mostly already saved masses here and STILL there is frop to smoke, food to eat and booze to smooze. Better get to it.
Rev Priest <Whatever>
Amsterdam, Never never lands - Friday, March 23, 2001 at 07:23:55 (EST)

I'm in the red light district, and you're not.
Rev. Nickie
USA - Thursday, March 22, 2001 at 16:52:14 (EST)

Put your head in the fence.
Raped by Bob
- Thursday, March 22, 2001 at 15:19:31 (EST)

The plot sickens: http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/20010321/sc/fossil_dc.html Fortunately we were able to nip this species in the bud. BTW, did you know that every Dutch woman will put out if you just walk up to her and say "Fuck for 100 (guilders)?" Works for me.
nu-monet <Where all the little puppies and kittens go to die>
USA - Thursday, March 22, 2001 at 03:44:16 (EST)

lucky bastards ^_^
this space intentionally left blank
USA - Thursday, March 22, 2001 at 01:21:36 (EST)

Noteworthy quotes/memes developed here so far: 1) "Please don't put that *thing* on me"--Mickey Finn 2) "Thank you. I believe I have had enough mushrooms for the time being"--nu-monet (in a rather high and squeaky voice.)
nu_monet
USA - Wednesday, March 21, 2001 at 10:05:06 (EST)

Nickie, speak for yourself!
Duke of Uke
Amsterdam, USA - Wednesday, March 21, 2001 at 08:48:29 (EST)

I'm at an internet cafe in Amsterdam, and you're not.
Rev. Nickie
The Holy Land, - Wednesday, March 21, 2001 at 05:44:27 (EST)

So far so good. No one has still to locate me. I guess it is probably me looking them and not the other way around. For those who are still searching I will probably be walking the streets around Leidseplein.
doktor notaw <notaw@lineone.net>
Amsterdam, Holland - Tuesday, March 20, 2001 at 11:48:13 (EST)

I raise up my pointer finger and stick out my thumb, thus forming a true "L" to hold unto mine forehead, whereby I do salute my SubGenii fellows fortunate enough to be now in Amsterdam.
Rev. Dr. Onan Canobite <onan@subgenius.com>
Lemuria, USA - Tuesday, March 20, 2001 at 00:05:14 (EST)

We're just out wandering around. We've been to so many NEW areas we didn't see last time. And the 'FROP! It's even better than last time....amazing quality, not often seen around hu-mans. It snowed today AND was sunny and gorgeous. Lovely and cold. Completely stupid am I and delerious!! SiS D More great times. Still cold and old and very frappy. Wish all the 'froppin Doks were here to enjoy it all. Next year, maybe in May or June to see some more sun. 'Frop is even more spectacular than last year. Several new, potent blends. The best, so far, is Blueberry....won the cup this year for indica. Very fine! Afghani White Widow is a rare treat. The hash is absolutely fabulous this time. They have a new Dutch method called ice-water extraction. Almost too powerful....but not quite. That's it. Time for more roaming around in a frappy haze. Pictures at 10. Doc Frop Miss all of you and sincerely wish you were HERE!! SiS D
SiS D & Doc Frop <decadence@subgenius.com>
Amsterdam, NE - Monday, March 19, 2001 at 09:59:44 (EST)

Dear Rev. Izzo, Wish you were her. By the time you receive this message it will be too late. Snowing again. There is a man on the street who is offering us a kidney for sale--pretty good price. Esq's Finn, Ryan, nu
among the saved
USA - Monday, March 19, 2001 at 05:54:31 (EST)

Fellows: Char-broiled or lightly toasted? Just wondering.
Y'R C'Z
closerthanyouthink, USA - Sunday, March 18, 2001 at 15:54:47 (EST)

WE ARE HERE! WE ARE HERE! WE ARE HERE! Unfortunately, my mind is about as blank as the stoned cat sitting in front of me. (Currently scoping out an halluvinogenic non-existant butterfly- SOMETHINGS NOT RIGHT - NOT QUITE SURE WHAT IT IS......We believe the cat is waiting for people to exhale. We believe cats can spot the INTERESTING ones....a big uninspired hand over to Leetle Fyodor... Me mynd's a blank... And there's GOOD reason for that! More to come!! LF!!! they pulled a body out of the 4th floor in a white plastic shroud. the people in the window next door were taking pictures of the extending-electro-firetruck ladder body-rescue. the police took the body down to the sidewalk and extended himself to the window with the mocking photographers and gave them a good speaking-to.
various ministers
HOLLAND - Sunday, March 18, 2001 at 11:03:38 (EST)

Greetings from the "Shadows Round Every Corner" (I already had the tickets, you think I could just "turn them in"?). I am sitting just off Vondelpark (across the street from the hospital) --- IT'S A COLD, RAW, RAINY FUCK today. Cold and rainy. But I, The coulda-been-maybe-some-day-will-be-Rev.-Jim-J'lahn-MS-II_III_II am sitting here safely hidden from the storms (and the rest of you) and [though I AM warm] alas, all "I AM" is "just" J'lahn. You know, it's going to be THIS COLD and THIS RAINY all freakin' week long. Too cold to go naked (outside, at least) and too warm to snow. Just the WRONG kind of weather. No matter. If I run into you, I run into you. I'm going to go fetch a mid-afternoon "snack", then SLEEP IT OFF. I'll be on the prowl later tonight, though. I "might" be at the corner of Sarphatistraat (sp?) and Amstel some time after 10 - hangin' (by a copper thread). But I might still be asleep. NO MATTER. We may run into each other, we may not. Like I said, The Joining is "on hold". All is as it should be. And now, here's an excerpt from somewhere else (NOT from this guestbook) --- but wait, before that, Praise "Bob". Really. I mean that. Praise "Bob". I am a Subgenius in My Heart (if not on paper). The time will come. Then I can play all these old FMU tapes for you while we can eat, drink, and be "merry" with each other ALL OVER THE FLOOR. Enjoy the trip. Burning Man may be the "left" time - the CORRECT time for The Joining. I hope it is. OK, here's the excerpt: 1) 111 (base 2) = 7 (base 10). 2) 111 = 37 times 3 ("three" --- water from breath). 3) 1111 = 15 = HEX F = OMEGA = The Tetragrammaton. 4) 11:11 = eye/eye to eye/eye = 2 to 2 = 222 = 22 Foundations Letters arranged in a circle with 231 Gates (11:11 = 22 = 231). 5) 7/5 --- "X-Day" comes but once a year (at 7AM "your time") 6) 4/2/1948 at 1:11PM - The New Era of Truth and Justice began. 7) Seven - Three opposite Three and one is the ruler deciding between them. The endless banter and babble-speak this place exudes from day-to-day and week-to-week is just SO FUNNY. So many OCD folks in one place (take the test - learn the truth about your "disorder")! GET A GRIP. Like I told you WAY BACK WHEN: the number pattern business has GONE BUST. It's OLD NEWS. It's like 1st or 2nd grade when by now you should be working toward your PhD. It's like a failed DOTCOM. It's like WEBVAN or PEAPOD for crissakes. Take it from Patient Zero (The Fool, that is I, and I AM J'lahn) --- take it from the ONE PERSON ON THIS WHOLE PLANET who's been doing this longer than ANY ONE OF YOU (for 35 years of fully DOCUMENTED experiences for cryin' out loud!!!) --- take it from the person who has covered 111, 11:11 and nearly EVERY OTHER NUMBER PATTERN you have EVER run across from EVERY SINGLE possible angle --- take it from the guy who may have started literally hundreds of thousands of people in the NY metropolitan area seeing 11:11 over 20 long years ago --- take it from the guy who was branded by 111 when he was THREE YEARS OLD --- take it your "lord" and "master" (when it comes to this number pattern business) --- TAKE IT FROM ME --- it's over. Move on. But this "Just Testing" message was just a test. Had this been a real message, I probably would have gone on even longer. You've had your warning. To the newbies --- and to all those who have the GALL to THINK for even ONE THOUSANDTH OF A SECOND that they have it all "figured out" (duh) --- read EVERY single word (and go to ALL the links) of http://home.att.net/~jlwn111 BEFORE you even think of opening your mouth or even so much as THINK you know where I'm coming from. Because if you haven't read the write-up, I'll know. And if you haven't, you'll be branded as ONE WHO IS IN DENIAL (of My Divine Role in all this nonsense). Woe to you , oh Foolish Ones, who are in That Nile River! But this was just a test. So, just like before, ignore these words of warning. Ignore the truth. Keep up the endless levels of "kitchen chat" and psycho-babble and CONJECTURE that this place has sunk to. And yes, you are allowed to have a happy St. Patrick's Day. Drink up. Enjoy. I AM J'lahn (yahoo won't allow the apostrophe --- so jahlon111 will have to do). http://home.att.net/~jlwn111 the COMPLETED 111 experience of J'lahn (1965-2000)
I AM J'lahn. <jlwn111@worldnet.att.net>
Amsterdam, Netherlands - Saturday, March 17, 2001 at 11:29:36 (EST)

Sitting in Internet Coffee shop, QWei is prepping der frappy. HEAVEN IS STILL HERE. DOBBS is here... someqwhere. All is qwell... Pope Black's mobile number is busy hoqwever. And the 'QW' on this Dutch keyboard... I dunno. //The Cok / Hofpark Hotel is GREAT!! I qwould suggest taking the taxi from the airport, it's only $20... far less hassle than the train. QWe qwere given free frappy 5 minutes after qwe got here. TQWEEDY's is the nearest coffee shop. They noqw call Bubblegum, "BOB". The TV shoqws are just as qweird as qwe remember. Oh shit, this machine needs more change. // "BOB" is "creeper" -- if nothing worse! There are signs all over the streets saying, "ALL YOUR QWEB BASE ARE BELONG TO US". The free breakfast in the hotel is qworth the room price ALONE!! Everything is noqw in readiness for the hordes of SubGenii to arrive. Nothing qwill harsh our melloqw. This qwe sqwear. QWe have paved the qway and found the feastest routes to the cheapest food and the best frappy. SEE YOU TON\MORROQW!!
I. van Stang <stang@subgenius.com>
Amsterdam, NE - Saturday, March 17, 2001 at 08:44:46 (EST)

I'm comin' home, "Bob." Prepared to hallucinate like an oilslide....actually, I'm doing that now, but it's a bad trip baby....somehow my ship done crashed. Help me make it fly again. Nothing short of total damnation can save me now. Love, Nickie
Rev. Nickie DeathCHick <nickie@subgenius.com>
Hell, WI USA - Friday, March 16, 2001 at 22:49:49 (EST)

Final bit of advice: "Never trust a man with an open direct stare and an easy smile, especially if he smokes a pipe" --St. Charles Bukowski
Duke of Uke <jimcser@pacifier.com>
Lemuria, USA - Friday, March 16, 2001 at 20:37:11 (EST)

anyone at the airport @ approx. 12:30: I'll be arriving on flight 2138L from Newcastle. -------------- Rev. Lord Yeti: I still have your phone number - I will ring when I get to my hotel. -------------
pope phil monty
oop nurth, the cursed realm - Friday, March 16, 2001 at 17:46:29 (EST)

mickey finn: I'll be touching down at about the same time as you. listen out for me paging "Bob" Dobbs - PHILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
pope phil monty
oop nurth, the cursed realm - Friday, March 16, 2001 at 13:52:25 (EST)

Oh yeah, There will be a Subgenius radio show on Sunday 18 March at 21:00 on Radio Patapoe (97.2 FM in stereo) ONLY TO BE RECIEVED IN AMSTERDAM!!! (well, maybe a temporal energy flux will come by and you can also recieve it in Guatamala) All Subgenii are invited!
Rev. Dr. Lord Yeti <jverwer@chello.nl>
Amstedam, Holland - Friday, March 16, 2001 at 13:36:21 (EST)

I met Pope Black just a few miutes ago. He just hitchhiked in here without lifting a thumb! I'm going to go and hang out with him later, right now I'm still trying to sell the book of the subgenius to every unlucky git that come in my bookstore. I made some flyers for the devival, but they are already finished some i guess i'm going to make some new ones. Let me know where you guy's and galls hang out. See you this week Lord Yeti in the city of Slack
Rev. Dr. Lord Yeti <jverwer@chello.nl>
Amstedam, Holland - Friday, March 16, 2001 at 13:32:43 (EST)

Supposedly touching down at 12:00 Sunday, but who knows how long they'll take to DECONTAMINATE a disease-ridden UK Sub? The SubGenius man in the chemical shower,
rev mickey finn
- Friday, March 16, 2001 at 03:03:14 (EST)

I say, Mickey old Boy! Should be arriving 1130 hrs. local time. Will check to make sure. Can't wait. P.S. I know of a good Irish Pub where they serve a Guinness Pot Pie.Think about it. Yes, arrive Amsterdam 1130 a.m. Rev. Ryan
Rev.Ravin' O'Ryan
Spahn Ranch, Ca. USA - Thursday, March 15, 2001 at 18:55:51 (EST)

The United States yesterday moved to prevent foot-and-mouth entering the country with travellers arriving from Europe being warned that they would be sterilized. Apparently, due to a misunderstanding, several Europeans and Americans received visectomies and tubal ligations from Agriculture Department employees before the policy was clarified. Yesterday, the Agriculture Secretary Ann Veneman said security at the 110 US ports of entry would be increased. Under already existing regulations, all arrivals are asked if they have recently visited a farm. Those who answer yes will have their shoes and luggage disinfected with a bleach solution. "I guess we should have said 'decontaminated' ," she commented.
nu-monet
USA - Thursday, March 15, 2001 at 09:38:53 (EST)

Last message from Texas. We're leaving for the airport right after this. Talked to the hotel last night, everything seems to be set. Stang and Wei arrived just before I called. Haven't received any paniced messages from Stang, so I assume all is well. The check-in time is normally around noon, but they said some of the rooms may be available immediately....depends on whether anyone stayed there the night before. There will, hopefully, be a common room under the name of Dobbs. If your room isn't ready when you arrive, ask for the room number for Dobbs and check there to see if anyone is available. Our room is under the name Hitch. That's all I got. I can smell the 'frop already. Hope Stang and Wei haven't smoked ALL the good stuff yet! See you guys in a few!
Doc Frop <frop@subgenius.com>
Frop fields, TX USA - Wednesday, March 14, 2001 at 11:53:04 (EST)

I'll meet you in that lounge, Ryan, and in tribute to that old snake-evictor St Patrick, i've decided to smoke as much GREEN stuff as is seemly.
rev mickey finn <stone_junction@hotmail.com>
County Hell - Wednesday, March 14, 2001 at 02:41:35 (EST)

It seems that only I myself has remembered that most of us will be leaving on good old St. Patrick's Day and may not have a chance for a little "look thru the glass" before arriving(the day after) in The Promised Land. For this reason alone I will be stopping @lounge central immediately after deplaning. I will behave so as not to attract the attention of Scotland Yard.I do hope weall have a pleasant journey. Also, there will be cause for celebration on Mar. 21.... the Vernal Equinox! Alas ye hardies, till then,your pal, Rev. Ravin' O'Ryan, M.D.
Rev. Ravin' O'Ryan
Tipperary, Ireland - Tuesday, March 13, 2001 at 20:23:20 (EST)

"Sterno won't be there"! HA! thast's what he said last time. expect to meet him wearing clogs and propping up a bar somewheres in downdown Amsterdam
pope phil monty <pope_phil@ukdiuretics.com>
oop nurth, the cursed realm - Tuesday, March 13, 2001 at 18:37:13 (EST)

I CAN'T STOP READING THIS SHIT. I might just stay home and keep reading reading reading reading reading reading reading reading reading reading reading reading reading reading reading reading reading reading reading reading. ---------- anyway. a SubG pal (who WON'T be there) has reminded me that pedaloes can be rented real cheap from near to Anne Frankes's house. I envision a Pedal Boat Flotilla 4 "Bob" one afternoon. mebbee
pope phil monty <pope_phil@ukdiuretics.com>
oop nurth, the cursed realm - Tuesday, March 13, 2001 at 18:35:18 (EST)

Rev. iZone -- damn you, I have already packed the VERY LAST of the Cool "Bob" shirts just for you! I guess I'll have to give them to your sisters. And also, apparently I am going to have to keep Philo away from your sisters. He's already got some kind of weird plan involving genetics and breeding. ... Wait a miniute, something just occured to me. First Sterno says he can't go... then Jesus and Magdalen... then iZone... is there some BETTER party that the rest of us aren't being TOLD about?? ///**//// PHIL MONTY: I HAVE ZE MEMBERSHIP CARDS!!! Good thing you asked. I DID have a stack of them on my desk for just this occasion. Incidentall, you fools can ALWAYS just send a SASE to the PO Box and explain you lost your Card in the wash, we understand, hell I almost went through X-Day 98 with my card in the CAr in my OTHER PANTS!!! Not that it made a damn bit of difference in that FALSE "1998". ???**??? PORTRAITS OF SAINTS -- good idea, we need as many as possible for protection. I am bringing a poseable toy St. BENDER from Futurama. I figure statuettes are as good as framed flat ShorDurPerSavs. Also, they double as toys. I won't bring my rare action figures, too risky, but I'll bet Wei brings some of her Toys 4 the Brane Damajed. ???**//// I posted a ton of new shit on SubSITE, including several of the useful maps Zafod made. Looks like Tram 2 goes from Central Station right to the Cok/AMS-Hofpark. We're gonna get a cab from the airport though because of the SWAG cases. ///***/// We not only have to frop extra for Jesus, Magdalen, Sterno, and Izzo, we also have to frop more for Prostata and Joy too! JEEEZIS that's a FUCK of a lot of 'Fropping. But -- ya know? I'm up for it.
Rev. Ivan Stang <stang@subgenius.com>
Cleveland Hts, OH USA - Monday, March 12, 2001 at 23:43:42 (EST)

Just a note: Yes, there IS a common room. No, it will NOT be moving about, unless you're hallucinating like an oilslide. St. Izzo, you are AMAZING. Stang/Wei, see you two in a coupla days. Everyone else, get yer asses to Amsterdam and quit reading this shit!!
Sister Decadence <decadence@subgenius.com>
Ft. Worth, TX USA - Monday, March 12, 2001 at 19:54:53 (EST)

Now listen up mutants: when you get to the holy land, don't forget a few important artifacts from the tomb of the anti-Bob: Fuck 'em, and you, if they, or you, can't take a joke. Eat the fuckin' hell out of that hamburger, or, better yet, eat the hell out of that falafel. It don't matter what it is you're eatin'--even if it is shit, and we all eat that on a daily basis--eat the hell out of it! Next, slack off. Quit that job and slack off. Drop everything and slack off. You fuckers deserve to slack off. When you get there, fuck those canals. They are full of filth. Drink from that filth and fill your grail. Zafod help me here. I want my cool bobs--with or without armpits. I want my ordainment packets. I want my pins. I want my maypo, uncle George. Now. Nu-monet. There is a palmyra and you know it. Fuck the shot gun, it don't work. It was handed down from the Applegate family and the trigger is missing. And fuck them too. Now, praise Rev. Ryan. He is a true subgenius. When he called for us to repent, he wasn't shittin'. Follow his word. Repent and burn. Spark up and burn frop 'til it comes out those pointed ears. Burn those brain cells. Burn 'em up good, and burn up a few for me. Healed head bad, bleeding head good. Yabadabadooo!!Fuck everything in sight. Don't hesitate until you, or Bob, sees/sees the whites of their dimpled ass cheeks. Fuck until you can't fuck no'moe. And that means Moe too. And fuck your neighbor too. That's the true marriage of the opposites. Fuck thy neighbor as you would fuck yourself. If I could I would. I love you muthafookers. The laughs i get outta all this nonsense I plaster on the walls like tasty freeze. And Nickie, when you get inside that suite don't let one person in unless they bring food, frop, or money, or nu-monet. Mickey is a Pope and I am glad for that. Praise Bob! iZone
St. iZone
Palmyria, ci USA - Sunday, March 11, 2001 at 14:24:44 (EST)

Merchandise: Who's bringing the Shit to be SOLD???? Could whoever's arranging this PLEASE bring 2 (TWO) extra ordainment cards. Pope Black and I have BOTH had our's stolen.
Pope Phil Monty <pope_phil@ukdiuretics.com>
OOp Nurth, The Cursed Realm - Saturday, March 10, 2001 at 19:10:26 (EST)

ICONS: Last year St. Otis protected the 'common room'. This year try to bring (framed if possible) a photo of a SHORDURPERSAV and we'll have a GALLERY OF SAINTS looking after us. AND BRING TOYS. ------- Do we have a common room???
Pope Phil Monty <pope_phil@ukdiuretics.com>
OOp Nurth, The Cursed Realm - Saturday, March 10, 2001 at 19:09:25 (EST)

"Would Bob Dobbs please go to the white curtesy telephone... Would Bob Dobbs please go to the white curtesy telephone..." When I get to Schiphol (about 12:45 on the 18th, if all is right), I'll head for the Info desk and page "Bob" for a while (and Dr. Benway), just to see if anyone's about.
Pope Phil Monty <pope_phil@ukdiuretics.com>
OOp Nurth, The Cursed Realm - Saturday, March 10, 2001 at 19:08:20 (EST)

Homegrown Fantasy: Cake is NOT a made-up drug. Sterno's recomendation is SPOT-ON. Unfortunatly, this year's hotel is not one-minute away - but much further. Alas. Go there, sit at the window table, eat cake... and SMILE at the Scientology building directly oposite. ------------------------ This year's hotel IS (I think) handy for The Vondelpark. ------------------------- Mickey - the drugs ARE still safe to sell, but not to BUY. Steal them instead, or swap your body. ----------------------- Avoid Euros - it sounds like Spanish for "Piss". Get your strippenkaarten from the newstand at Central Station (TIP: if you go out of the station be the back way instead of the front - that's where the crack adicted whores hang out. the rate's about 30 guilders - but you'll have to share a condom). ---------- Rookies does no-tobacco joints. kool. -------------------- "Gable Stones": stones over doorways. STONES ABOVE OUR HEADS! STONES. HEAVY STONES. SUSPENDED ABOVE OUR HEADS!!! danger danger danger danger danger danger danger danger danger danger
Pope Phil Monty <pope_phil@ukdiuretics.com>
OOp Nurth, The Cursed Realm - Saturday, March 10, 2001 at 19:07:22 (EST)

7 DAYS TO GO ---- 3 days prior to last year's trip I had an operation on my mouth which meant I spent the entire week with stiches in my lip. ------------------------------------------------------- 3 days prior to November's micro devival I was subjected to a medical examination of my arse. ------------------------- BOY am I looking forward to the coming week...
pope phil monty <pope_phil@ukdiuretics.com>
OOp Nurth, The Cursed Realm - Saturday, March 10, 2001 at 19:06:15 (EST)

From the official guidebook to Amsterdm found in hotel rooms, AMSTERDAM XXX INSIGHT: "The house party and fin d'seacle freak show "parade" is something even the back-to-gabbers do, with a pumped up number of beats per minute, ten pills down your gob for 20 hours of chomping your bit, no ambience save for a couple of yellow cube lights haven't been able to kill. Also consider the fact that bouncing around on bad pills (probably speed, if nothing worse) or bad coke (probably speed, if nothing worse) is considered a definite no-no, never mind what you heard. And then, is it really your idea of fun to stand around some crossroads with no clue as to your whereabouts, with a city map in hand which has snakes for roads crawling about, because you're hallucinating like an oilslide? Well then, simply get to know a few people first, which is not such a hard thing to do in Amsterdam, and all kinds of possibilities will, if need be, arise by their own accord. In the meantime, remember: there's much more to be discovered!"
Rev. Stang <stang@subgenius.com>
Cleveland, OH USA - Friday, March 09, 2001 at 22:01:10 (EST)

Papa Joe Mama sent his best wishes: (my answer attached): Well, have a good "trip" in Amsterdamned, just don't go through customs with any other Subgenius, if you know what I mean. Nu-monet said that the idea is to get to the point that our BLOOD is GREEN before we return, thus our "stash" is our own BLOOD SUPPLY. I think Wei managed to almost accomplish that last time. Actually, Papa Joe, Wei and I are practically the "designated drivers" on these trips. First off, we don't drink, so we're automatically about 8 steps soberer than everybody else, god damn it, and secondly, we are practically IMMUNE to anything but Frop -- we're like the Guild Navigators in DUNE, it's just our "air". After years of real Frop use, human drugs like the marijuana and mushrooms that are available legally in Holland have no psychotropic affect. Wei and I don't get "fucked up" in Holland. We CAN'T. There is nothing strong enough there to get us "too high." We TRIED and TRIED. But we are already Fropped, and you never come down from that. Everyone else around us was unable to walk but we were still waiting for a "buzz" from the "drugs." No, only actual Habafropzipulops does the trick for a seasoned SubGenius Lung. We love the Dutch coffee shops because the "stuff" there is SO INCREDIBLY CHEAP -- and because it TASTES so good. As does the chocolate, Thai food and other delicacies. Also the government isn't trying to protect you from yourself... they have such a refreshing "Let the idiots die" policy. In some ways that's the biggest appeal to me. Even though it sounds like a likely place for ME to get killed, me being capable of idiocy even WITHOUT false drugs. I've been studying under "Bob" for a long time now.
Rev. Stang <stang@subgenius.com>
Cleveland, OH USA - Friday, March 09, 2001 at 19:33:00 (EST)

1) Let's make sure the hotel knows we are celebrities right from the start 2) We also need to know each day's "common room", which I gather is variable 3) I will bring scotch tape for everybody's door Dobbsheads 4) EAT THE OTHER HALF, DAMMIT!
nu-monet
USA - Friday, March 09, 2001 at 18:37:46 (EST)

We/I CAIN'T HARDLY WAIT!! We're chompin' at the bit. Lemme at 'em. The fact that Jesus, Magdalen and Sterno have to stay behind and fight the Conspiracy for us means that we have to frop, frow, flow, grow and glow for THEM TOO, THRICE EACH PER DAY EXTRA! A tough job, but somebody's got to do it. Princess Wei and I are going to be there before everybody else, SCOUTING. However, we WON'T be there when everybody else gets in, because on March 18 we have to follow Pope Black to another one of those radio shows that they do on official government sponsored "PIRATE BOOTLEG" radio -- if that's REALLY where he's taking us, and not the Alley of Gigantic Negresses... WHICH I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE AGAIN!!! *PANT PANT*!! 8*8*8* Jesus has instructed me on which Instructions to give everyone when we all meet in the Cok Superior. So you may put your minds at ease regarding your Instructions. If anyone needs info from me about anything, email me before Sunday night. All hail the Lord and Mary Magdalen for making the Field Trip real and all hail Dok Frop for manfully following in His footsteps (I wanna see how Dok Frop fares once Jesus gets to the LAKE and keeps on walking, though!) Dok Frop has now experienced what it is like to "ORGANIZE" SubGenii!!! SEE YA SOON, OH MY DROOGIES!
Rev. Ivan Stang <stang@subgenius.com>
Cleveland, OH USA - Friday, March 09, 2001 at 18:19:45 (EST)

To All: Being your poor relation, I, personally can't go to the Bake-Off and use my brains. All the more reason for YOU, yes you, to do it for me!!! As you endure the danger of transport and ingestion of toxic/strange substances, know that you have my undying gratitude for actually having a LIFE. And I do want to hear of your adventures.
hugh NO hugh <merkb@countrylife.net>
nearby, USA - Friday, March 09, 2001 at 16:19:43 (EST)

At Schiphol. Of course, the most logical place to meet would be at the Bar(may I suggest Lounge Central about 1200 hrs Mar 18?), or The "Meeting Point" which is in the middle of Schiphol Plaza, right next to the sculpture of red and white cubes entitled 'Coda'. Probably the best place to meet would be the Prayer room/Mosque which can be found on the upper floor of Lounge West and is open from 0600 to 2300 for those of us who wish to..... well, let's just say 'repent'. In actuality, I vote for the Lounge Central about 1200hrs. Rev. Ryan
Rev. Ravin' Ryan
USA - Friday, March 09, 2001 at 00:23:05 (EST)

-TOILET PAPER RUNS OUT-
rev mickey finn
- Thursday, March 08, 2001 at 19:08:35 (EST)

But then, last year I don't think I made it more than about 900 yards beyond the hotel, apart from the nights I trailed in the wake of Pope Black, who I believe may emit mind-fogging pheromones from his anus, proving there is some life in the adage, "Don't follow Pope Black." I'm not necessarily proud of this cultural apathy, but the fact is, I'm not too alarmed at the thought of A-dam being vigorously renovated, as I plan to be vigorously renovated myself.Is everyone who I think is going, going? Are there still drugs for sale? Then bring on your diversions and digging machines. In ten days, the clocks will be off our shoulders. Northern Europe isn't COLD right now, it's BRACING. The air is FRESH. You'll all feel ten years younger, unless you ARE ten, in which case, I think Mum and Dad may have accidentally booked you on the wrong trip. Now, there's a challenge - someone grab a small child at the airport, bound for Orlando or Florida (or, dare I say it, EuroDisney), and instead divert it toward a REAL fantasy experience. Hell, you can meet Snow White on just about every street corner! You may not see Mickey Mouse, but you will DEFINITELY see MICKEY SOUSED! Prince Charming? Have you SEEN the Fat Prince of Holland? (Note to Church: we really MUST get him signed up...). Dumbo? Hell, yes. Bambi? Well, if you have enough money, anything's possible there. But just everyone remember - "When you wish upon a Bob, Makes no difference what your job - When you wish upon a Bob, Your dreeeeeaaaaaaammmsssss come trooooooooooooooooooooo........"
rev mickey finn <stone_junction@hotmail.com>
Damyoureyes - Thursday, March 08, 2001 at 19:06:25 (EST)

To Amsterdam-bound SubGeniuses. Be advised. It's not like last year at the moment. The DAM is all torn up . . . being remodeled; so no large throngs of people hanging out there. You CAN'T hang out there right now. Also, the trams are different. Many routes have been changed. For instance, you can't get off at the regular Leidseplein stop like last time. Now you go around the corner and have to walk back a few blocks. Indeed, extensive rennovations are on-going all over the Centrum, making your tram-stop maps not so accurate. Still, you'll have fun. Will miss hanging with some of you, but I am going back to Europe in August so I can attend the Wacken Open-Air Festival with Pope Black. Besides, there's nothing like 'fropping in the Vondelpark wearing SHORTS and NOTHING ELSE. Like EVERYBODY else is! Be sure and take your hats and coats. It SNOWED in Amsterdam five days ago! - Sterno
Rev. Sternodox <sternodox@aristotle.net>
Buttsplat, XX USA - Thursday, March 08, 2001 at 13:57:52 (EST)

0815 18Mar Delta #38. Gonna change currency then maybe get snockered in an airport bar. I'll also be totin' a coupla cartons of smokes (Muleburros) and a coupla bottles of good duty-free hooch. After I get to the hotel, I'll also hunt up some junk food fer snacks, FCFS.
nu-monet
USA - Thursday, March 08, 2001 at 12:05:37 (EST)

Hey there, you Slack-jawed yokels, when the hail y'all arriving in Amsterdam? I, presonally, will be making the scene via United Flt. 946 (from D.C.) which is scheduled to hit Schipol (not literally, maybe) at 0700 hours on Sunday the 18ff. Have a limo and some lingerie models waiting. Or at least a cab and some hookers. OK, OK, slack, slack. YFNR Crawford
Crawford <atom@gci-net.com>
Toostoned, AZ USA - Thursday, March 08, 2001 at 10:08:33 (EST)

Listen, you screw heads: here's a man who wouldn't take it anymore,a man who stood up against the scum, the dogs, the filth, the con, here is someone who stood up....! Your Pal, Rev. Ravin' Ryan
Rev. Ravin' Ryan
N.Y.C., USA - Wednesday, March 07, 2001 at 19:57:35 (EST)

There is no Palmyra, AZ. It is a myth, like the towns of Amway, East Cibola, and Scottsdale. False slack be ruinin' yo' brain. Try a hit of this Quasi-Slack. Shotgun!
nu-monet
Tempe, intoxication USA - Wednesday, March 07, 2001 at 18:54:54 (EST)

edict #2: False slack is better than no slack at all.
Pope Bob Russell
palmyra, az USA - Wednesday, March 07, 2001 at 16:05:33 (EST)

The important thing is that we prove that we a "space capable" by, with some effort, mind you, turning our blood GREEN, likely the hardy SPACE LOBSTER! Only then will *they* know for sure that we can handle *it*. Optimally, your blood should remain green for at least six months after your return. There will be no extra credit for funny smelling urine.
nu-monet
USA - Wednesday, March 07, 2001 at 10:36:07 (EST)

Mind you, last time I tried eating someone under the table, they threw me out of the restaurant.
rev mickey finn
- Wednesday, March 07, 2001 at 03:55:03 (EST)

I'll take that bet.
St.iZone <j_izzo@yahoo.com>
notadamnthing, az USA - Tuesday, March 06, 2001 at 17:56:28 (EST)

I SECOND THE MOTION! As of THIS SECOND I oficially Repent, Quit My Job and SLACK OFF! I ain't going to Amsterdam to schmooze, preach, or make money -- though I'll do those too -- I'm going to Amsterdam to PARTY MY ASS OFF, such as it is! If I return to the States with ANY brain cells left, then I will have DISMALLY FAILED at my goal! But I am CERTAIN that I can live up to my calling as Sacred Scribe, and not only EAT that space cake, but eat the LIVING FIRE BREATHING *HELL* out of that space cake! In fact i bet everybody here a buck two eighty that I can eat Dr. PHILO DRUMMOND under the table! PRAISE FUCKING "GROB" and HAIL HELLION "CRONNIE"!!
Rev. Ivan Stang <stang@subgenius.com>
Cleveland, OH USA - Tuesday, March 06, 2001 at 12:36:52 (EST)

In preparation for a-damn, edict #4: drop everything and slack off.
Pope Bob Russell
paradise, ca USA - Monday, March 05, 2001 at 12:46:53 (EST)

Now, the seedling is beginning to hatch. I must know if Ward-Nichols is any relation to baseball star, Mike Nichols, whose father was a minister of Church Club regis at the corner of Ventura and Eddie Haskell on or about the date of 4-23-94. No t-shirts were dispensed and nothing prehensile offered up as sacrificial material. This type of information can be very useful at this point where up and low are now intersecting and activating quite effiiently. None of this concerned Bob, or boB, or bboB, bobbed, or Bob Dobbs or JR Bob Dobbs, or just Bob as in Cummmings, comings and goings, or either, or just Bob in and of itself. Or Roberta, Bobbi, Bobby, or Bobby the Hair, or just Bob, or bboBB. Transcripts of Reverend Nicholsí, or Nicholís, or just nichols, sermon given on said date at Club regis are missing from the archives. Whoever took them, give them back. If not, I too will get me coat and join Mickey on his way out. If not that, than,then, let the rain fall and the tulips drown in the holy spunk of Bob
St. iZone
notadamnthing, az USA - Sunday, March 04, 2001 at 17:31:48 (EST)

Hopefully after we have squeezed, squeezed, squeezed the spice out of the city until we can squeeze no more. And then we will turn it over to Sting. Er, Stang. One or the other. The rain can wait until we are done.
nu-monet
USA - Sunday, March 04, 2001 at 17:18:38 (EST)

Re: Amsterdam nite life. All the animal scome out at night-buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies. Sick. Venal. Some day a real rain will come and wash all the scum off the streets.
Anon.
USA - Sunday, March 04, 2001 at 13:45:22 (EST)

Well, I feel stupid - I thought we were praising "bboB" all this time. I'll get me coat.
rev mixkey finn <stone_junction@hotmail.com>
- Sunday, March 04, 2001 at 13:09:01 (EST)

Dear Rev. Ivan Stang, You know, I think I really WAS confused. I was thinking you folks were the ones connected to a TriPrimality t-shirt I bought back in 1985 at some little head shop in the Haight. I thought you were the same guys I used to make tapes of off the radio back in the day when I lived in Glen Ridge, NJ and listened to (what I thought was) you on a little radio station called WFMU which used to broadcast out of East Orange, NJ (where my grandfather [The Rev. L.F. Nichols] was born in 1901). I think they now hail from "Jersey City" (or some such place). I really was confused, but when I typed the word BOB I really did think to myself "lower-case 'OB', Jim, and don't forget the apostrophes, don't forget them Jim - not only because they remind you of 'the 11:11', but because without them, you are muddying the waters of The Sacred Teachings of J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs - committing, in a sense, a form of deliberate and perverted blasphemy". That's what I really thought. I though that. I thought that for a fleeting instant and then, instead of correcting my folly, I hit SEND. An aside: Say, if The Name is within a sentence (as in the sentence right prior to these) is it appropriate to use single quotes? Is it EVER appropriate to use single quotes? I was confused. And since I was confused, it really doesn't seem right to even think about going with you all to A'dam. The $240 dollars I sent to Doc Frop for my downpayment and the $35.90 I sent for membership are yours (as humble gifts from an enthused, yet presently unworthy servant of "Bob"). Sorry for the false alarm. I thought we (You and I and "Bob") were ready for The Joining. Perhaps we shall meet at Burning Man? I'll be carrying a large sign. It looks like what you'll find in the 7.15 KB attachment to this e-mail (it's called 111_allseven.jpg). Until Then... I AM J'lahn. ----- Original Message ----- From: Rev. Ivan Stang To: The Rev. Jim J'lahn, MS, II_III_II Cc: jesus@subgenius.com ; frop@subgenius.com ; decadence@subgenius.com ; magdalen@home.com Sent: Saturday, March 03, 2001 2:42 PM Subject: Re: Rev Nichols? WHO?? WHAT??? (yikes) Ouch. wow... ummmmmm... ok... I mean --- HI. Thank you for the cordial all-purpose update/excuse/explanation. So who is this Rev. Nichols? You actually created an e-mail profile called "nichols" and it's tied to MY e-mail address??? WHAT??? YUCK!!! (ouch [again]) First of all, my "real" last name is WARD-NICHOLS. Where in BLAZES "nichols" came from, I'll never know. Plus ---- and this is the BIGGIE ---- I AM The Rev. Jim J'lahn, MS, II_III_II. Not "Rev Nichols". [I am sorry that Rev. Nickie's email header upset you so much. She uses the same email prgram I do, Eudora, and it automatically places a "nickname" with any email address that one uses frequently. It's not a "profile" that's being used on a network, it's more like a notation inside Nickie's email that's easy for her to locate.] [We always keep Members' real names on the mailing list because many postal workers choose to return all "funnily-addressed" mail stamped "NOT AT THIS ADDRESS".] [I suspect that Nickie may have derived the email nickname "nichols" that she had in her address book, from the Nichols part of Ward-Nichols. But don't worry, we won't divulge your name in our publications or shows.] OK, since you're not a "huge corporation" (like you said) and "don't have the manpower" you would think this type of "I don't even know my customer's name" type scenario would be less likely to occur, right? Small town country store type home spun folks (like I am imagining you to be) at least know their customer's names, right? And also --- IS THERE REALLY SUCH A HUGE RUN ON SALVATION RIGHT NOW ??? You're "flooded" ??? I'm not sure I would believe "yes" answers to either of those questions. Like I said, "ouch". This gets worse by the minute. It really does. BAD STUFF. No good. Nope. [I am very surprised that you are so upset by the responses from our office, which I assure you are quite honest responses. No one here is out to "get" you. It's not that we're flooded with orders, it's that we're flooded with things to do. Not just orders.] [If you are so upset at a delayed package -- maybe it's a good thing that you find out the truth about us before you spend too much money and time on the Church of the SubGenius. We may not be the kind of group you are seeking.] [We are not super geniuses, and it sounds like we might not be smart enough for your needs. You might want to look into other organizations that are more, well, organized, such as Mensa. There's a good reson that we and most other small mail order businesses say "Allow 6 to 8 weeks for delivery" on the order forms. Normally people get their stuff in a week or two if it's the books etc. from Dallas, in 3 weeks if it's the CDs or videos from me in Cleveland (I make those by hand, on demand.)] Praise BOB (perhaps he's getting a Real Good Laugh over this?). We can only hope... [Since the names are important to you, I should mention that we refer to J.R. "Bob" Dobbs as "Bob," not BOB.] [BOB is an invented Internet cartoon character that has a kind of fan club online. Perhaps you have confused us with that other group. We did some books (THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS, REVELATION X and a couple of others) and the HOUR OF SLACK radio shows, and are not connected with the BOB fans or the BoB fans, who are similar. Some of those people post to a newsgroup called alt.slack, which is also frequented by real SubGeniuses, and there is often confusion between the nit-picking ninnies for BOB, and the actual contributors to the Word of "Bob."] -- 4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.) P.O. Box 19355, Cleveland, OH 44119 (fax 216-738-0150) A subsidiary of: The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214 Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com For SubGenius Biz & Orders: Fax, call toll free to 1-888-669-2323 or email: jesus@subgenius.com PRABOB
J'lahn <jlwn111@worldnet.att.net>
Lawrence, KS USA - Saturday, March 03, 2001 at 19:13:24 (EST)

What's up with this ether? The last time I had that I was in a squid hospital having tonsils ripped out. They promised me ice cream, but all I got was pink. I want that goddamn ice cream and plenty of it too and put some in the true pipe for all mutants.
iZone
otadamnthing, az USA - Saturday, March 03, 2001 at 16:00:31 (EST)

More random info......................................... Another Sterno-tip: Ten-and-a-half hour plane rides SUCK! Wanna make your flight back from Amsterdam NOT suck? Buy THREE "space cakes" from Homegrown Fantasy (one minute walk from your hotel). Eat 'em JUST before boarding the plane. You won't even REMEMBER the flight home! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The best exchange rates are to be had at the airport and at the GWK stands, which are all over town, including right in front of Central Station . Hotels will give a slightly less favorable exchange, as will banks. The WORST exchange rates are at all the HUNDREDS of booths touting the "best exchange rates." Don't know about Euros. Go with guilders. It's about 2.2:1 guilder to dollar, so the conversion is still pretty easy. If it costs fl. 10 it's gonna be a bit less than five bux U.S. Besides, this is the LAST time you'll be ABLE to use guilders, if I'm not mistaken. Unlike the U.S., a lot of places in Amsterdam don't seem to like plastic. Cash is king. Oh, buy your strippenkaarten [tram tickets] at the airport at the same time you buy your ticket to Amsterdam Central Station; just ask for a strippenkaarten . . . they're about fl. 11 or so. Also . . . and this is IMPORTANT . . . DON'T get off the train at the first Amsterdam stop. Make CERTAIN the stop says Amsterdam CS and NOTHING else. Some people get fooled and get off at the wrong stop. You'll easily be able to walk from Central Station to your hotel -- Zafod -------------------------------------------------------------------------- OK, I've saved the BEST for LAST! Three words: Coffeeshop Dutch Flowers. Can't remember the address . . . look it up. Here's the deal: After you've gone to a bunch of coffeeshops, the prices for the top of the line 'frop and especially 'frash at Dutch Flowers seem TWICE as high as everywhere else. They are. There's a reason. - Sterno -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another Sterno-tip: When 'fropped to the gills, one of my fave things to do is to aimlessly wander around the Jordaan neighborhood. It's REAL PURTY and, strangely, there NEVER seems to be anybody else wandering around!!! At least compared to the Centrum. Anyway . . . it's a short walk. If you head out from Central Station (which is, itself, REAL CLOSE to your hotel) just wander off to the right, keeping Central Station sorta behind you. Pass over the Singel canal and you're there. It's about as close as the Red Light District is, which you get to by heading out of Central Station to the LEFT, keeping it sorta behind you. Anyway, there's not much going on in the way of coffeeshops or restaurants or stores in the Jordaan, just some REAL PURTY houses and, if you're lucky (or have a guidebook) you'll stumble across a BITCHIN' collection of fuckin' cool-as-shit Gable Stones. Don't know what a Gable Stone it? Another time, my friend, another time. Love, Sterno
Duke of Uke <jimcser@pacifier.com>
USA - Saturday, March 03, 2001 at 14:57:35 (EST)

Yow! Only two weeks away, I can hardly stand it. On top of that, against ALL my better judgement I'm following Pope Black to Germany. Praise the Pope of All Europe-- HE IS the other half! Anyway, I unearthed Sterno's Official Recommendations from last year, and he did not steer us wrong. Rookies is the nearest to the hotel, the others are closer toward the Centrum (#2 train will be your friend) ------------------------------------------- Here are the ones NOT to miss: Rookies Korte Leidse Dwarsstraat 145-147 Phone - 639-0978 Rookies is BIG. AND it's not only a coffeeshop, but a bar. Those are VERY rare. Nice folks. Near the Leidseplein for when you're in that area. And that's a fucking GREAT area to hang out, eat, etc. All the big Museums are close by. Take Tram 5 from Central Station, get off at the Leidseplein stop and it's about two blocks. Homegrown Fantasy Niew Zidjz Voorburgwal 87a Phone - 627-5683 THIS is where you get your Space Cakes. It's a two-minute walk from Central Station. You'll see some of my art hanging above the bar. If Sara's there (BABE!!!) tell her you're a friend of mine. I always get FREE Space Cakes. EAT THREE!!! Grey Area Oude Leliestraat 2 Phone - 420-4301 Owned by two dudes from fucking RHODE ISLAND! John is REAL COOL! This is a TINY place, about 8 chairs, but they constantly WIN the Cannabis Cup Awards year after year FOR GOOD REASON. Ask if they have The Stumbler in stock. It ROCKS! Also, John will usually have some of this powdery blond hash stuff that KILLS! About a four minute walk from the DAM (Dam Square) Blarney Stone Irish Pub Nieuwendijk 29 Phone - 623-3830 NOT a coffeeshop, but a FUCKING COOL AS SHIT BAR! Plus, a friend of mine (Christy Ward - was in "Sling Blade") works there. Great place to hang. About a two-minute walk from Central Station. You can 'frop in there NO PROBLEM. Right in the front window if you want. The waitress will even bring you papers if you're out. Kadinsky Coffeeshop Rosmarijnsteeg 9 Phone - 624-7023 Another of my fucking FAVORITE coffeeshops. They have STRONG AS SHIT Black Hash! Also very small . . . not a place to take 30 people. In fact, of the above, Rookies and the Blarney Stone are the only places that would even FIT 30 people. Well, these are the best places out of the hundreds I've tried. You've got the addresses and phone numbers. Be sure to get a MAP of Amsterdam . . . a BIG, DETAILED one that cross-references all the streets. For instance, the street that the Grey Area is on is only HALF a block long! Hard to find if you don't know EXACTLY where it is.
Duke of Uke <jimcser@pacifier.com>
USA - Saturday, March 03, 2001 at 14:47:00 (EST)

Actually, Nu-Monet, hope you're not falling for the SMOKESCREEN that is the current FOOT et MOUTH thang. Our trustworthy government are merely trying to educate the masses in the ways of cannibalism, a taboo that doesn't even apply to us yetis. It can't be any coincidence that there have been numerous documentaries on the idiot-box about people-eating, and what with Hannibal just coming out, I think the inference is perfectly clear. They want us to EAT the unemployed, the Slack-est, the perceived "chaff". For once, THEY may have a point. Who among us hasn't licked their lips at the thought of roast pink, perhaps a cold slice of buttock to fuel our enterprises? Certainly, should I expire in A-Dam, I would only HOPE you'd all EAT ME, and I don't expect one fucking iota less from all of you. Hell, if I go home having NOT eaten someone, i'll consider this trip a failure. Tell yr. frenz - thinking of coming? rev mickey finn wants to eat you so the juice dribbles down his scabrous chin. (This may not swing the deal.) So soon, my pretties - a mere coupla weeks. Possibly my old hate-glands are mellowing, but I hold such WARM and BASKING VIBES to you ALL - I fear I may smile.
rev mickey finn <stone_junction@hotmail.com>
Europe-by-train - Friday, March 02, 2001 at 19:20:15 (EST)

Just want to reiterate what Doc Frop said about checking out those links. The tram/city/train maps & schedules can be EXTREMELY helpful if not downright necessary. Praise Rev. Izzo, henceforth to be known Saint Archbacon iZone. Nickie!!!! I love you! This will ROCK!!!
Sister Decadence <decadence@subgenius.com>
USA - Friday, March 02, 2001 at 18:52:19 (EST)

Still, those Certain Substances, eh? Gotta love 'em, rilly.
rev mickey finn <stone_junction@hotmail.com>
- Friday, March 02, 2001 at 17:48:23 (EST)

Humm...ermm..good thing I checked out this message board! On the one hand I am absolutely pleased and gratified that you all have gone to so much effort to try to get me there. I am going! Praise goddamned "Bob". I need it now more than ever due to various reasons I'm sure you'll all hear me lamenting over at length in the holy land while under the influence of Certain Substances. On the other hand.....I heard rumors of this raffle thing. What I DIDN'T hear about was the ether part. I love you all, you fucked up motherfuckers.
Rev. Nickie DeathCHick <nickie@subgenius.com>
Milfuckingwaukee, WI USA - Friday, March 02, 2001 at 12:42:20 (EST)

Alright you fuckers, here's a list of all that are onboard the saucer for the Holy Land. I haven't posted anything before now cause the damn thing keeps changing every week. I had someone sign on today even. At the moment, its Stang, Wei, Nickie Deathchick, Philo Drummond, Nu-monet, Crawford, Zafod, Duke Uke, Goya O Boya, Dok Dista and Susie Qster, Rev Praveen, Rev Ryan, the most blessed Rev Izzo and Little Connie, Rev Zorro, Rev Lute, Rev Carter and Dave, J'lahn, Little Fyodor, Sisters Lee and Lane, Rev Mickey Finn, Rev Priest, Long John Pope..etc and yetimate, Sister Decandence and me. That's 29 total. A few others, that are leperous beyond redemption, are going ON THEIR OWN! They are still blessed by Dobbs though and will be treated like little brothers and sisters....we'll watch out for them but hit them alot. Some helpful links from the Rev Zafod are http://www.ns.nl/reisplan2.asp that's a guide for Dutch train schedules. http://www.apti.is.nl/ that's a guide to A'dam public transportation. http://www.coffeeshop.freeuk.com/ that's a guide to coffeeshops. http://www.hotels-holland/amsterdam/cokbusiness.htm that's a guide to the Cok Hotel and such. PLEASE contact Rev Zafod directly if you need map info or anysuch. Write him at diverdan@flash.net. Put him to work, make him your map bitch. The only damper on all this is that Sterno, Jesus and Mary won't be there with us. Dobbs works in mysterious, and sometimes totally stupid, ways though. We shall pick up the standard and carry on and smoke even MORE 'frop in their absence! If anyone has roommate preferences PLEASE let me know NOW!! Otherwise, you get stuck with however the luck plane dumps in your lap. One last thing...I'm raffling off Nickie Deathchick and a bottle of ether as someone's roommate. Wipe the drool off your keyboard and realize this WON'T come cheap! Any offer had better have at least THREE zeroes after the first number or I'll make you room with Philo, and you know how he smells!
Doc Frop <frop@subgenius.com>
Frop fields, TX USA - Friday, March 02, 2001 at 03:23:50 (EST)

Not be eating from the gutter, eh? Well, that narrows it down, since you can't eat beef, pork, chicken, fish, dog, cat, rat, horse, insects, crustaceans, camels, birds, snakes, mooses, lions, tigers, bears, elephants, aardvarks, or rabbits. Especially rabbits. Geez, what is a non-veggie to do with you Euro-peeings? Are we gonna hafta subsist on tofu and beer? Or has the EU decided that beer is bad for you, too? Anyway, f'"Bob"'ssake, you'd better hang onto your pounds and gilders 'cause that Euro ain't fer shit. If it wasn't fer 'Frop, U.S. made junk food, and pussy, I'd lose a hell of a lot of weight there. Cheerios and king Tut.
nu-monet
USA - Thursday, March 01, 2001 at 23:12:06 (EST)

Sis? Doc? Can we have a list of pilgrims pleeeeeeeeease?
pope phil monty <pope_phil@ukdiuretics.com>
where?, here! - Thursday, March 01, 2001 at 18:33:37 (EST)

Stevie Wonder was blind drunk when he wrote that. The Straatparaaad will be GOOD. This time, however, I will NOT be eating things found in the gutter.
pope phil monty <pope_phil@ukdiuretics.com>
foot-and-mouth ville, englandland - Thursday, March 01, 2001 at 18:31:41 (EST)

Stevie Wonder once sang "Don't Drive Drunk", and maybe he should have said, "Don't post drunk", but he didn't, and I am, so i'll see you all in a couple of weeks, and we will have a ball -the Straat Parade sounds particularly good to me. Pope BlACK, it seems you really ARE the SubGenius man in the field. TO ALL CONTESTANTS - it'll be a real fucking pleasure, maan. Cannot wait. Orl mi luv, the Rev miCKey FinN
the rev mickey finn <stone_junction@hotmail.com>
WhatFor?, Hurts, In-Gland - Thursday, March 01, 2001 at 16:16:06 (EST)

Just to set the record straight. Jesus and Magdalen are NOT going to Amsterdam no matter how much money you raise. On the other hand, Nickie is going. Mostly thanks to the kind heart and deep pockets of Rev. Izzo. That's it.
Doc Frop <frop@subgenius.com>
Froptown, TX USA - Tuesday, February 27, 2001 at 20:51:52 (EST)

Alright. Just how many American dollars will it take to send Jesus, Mary and Nickie to Amsterdam and back? What hasbeen collected/pledged thus far? I propose that a tote board be set up updated on a regular basis much like the Jerry Lewis telethon. How close are we now to that goal? Time is running out rapidly and we need to attain that magic number!!! How close are we to $13013? Will you please take a moment and give till it hurts! Or kill me. Your prayer partner...... Rev.Ravin' Ryan
Rev. Ravin' Ryan
Norwalk, Ca. 90210 - Tuesday, February 27, 2001 at 19:15:58 (EST)

Thanks Rev. Jim. That helped to clear up a few concerns I had re: A-dam. But, can you help solve the question of whether J.M.& Nikki will go? Especially, would it be subsidizing the Con?
Rev. Raven Ryan
San Quentin, Ca, Oz - Sunday, February 25, 2001 at 15:07:13 (EST)

Hi Team. A few things to note prior to A'dam: 1) 111 (Base 2) = 7 (Base 10). 2) 111 = III. 3) III = 3. 4) 11:11 (Base 2) = 15 (Base 10) = HEX F = OMEGA. 5) II_III_II = ALL SEVEN = "Three opposite Three and One [BOB] is the rule deciding between them" And finally, as an un-numbered entry: The Universe was created "with Three Books, with text, with number, and with communication." PRAISE BOB. I AM J'lahn (Rev. Jim J'lahn, MS, II_III_II).
Rev. Jim J'lahn, MS, II_III_II <jlwn111@worldnet.att.net>
Lawrence, KS USA - Saturday, February 24, 2001 at 18:47:42 (EST)

I ain't got 50 bux but you can divert my mutant-porn membership fee to help ya M&J. I'm sure ya'll get there so stop trying.
Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus <RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com>
New York, NY USA - Friday, February 23, 2001 at 19:37:46 (EST)

I owe the Church some money. I plan on giving at least a large chunk of it in Amsterdam. If this will help the lord and the Mrs.lord get to Amsterdam then SO BE IT.
PopeBlack <popeblack@hotmail.com>
Dobbsburg, Scientology Free Republic of Germany - Friday, February 23, 2001 at 12:40:25 (EST)

Nope, I gotta go with the $million. "Who wants to be a Millionaire?" Americans are synonymous with $millions. Ten thousand dollars is almost comprehensible, but a million is sort of fantasy--like, "If I had a million..." Besides, it's "Bob"'s money to give away any way he likes. Retchid excess is sex at its best. How many Amsters are greedy enough to come to a devival on spec? How many would buy a tee-shirt just on the *chance* that "Bob" might give them a $million? How many guys who even vaguely look like "Bob" will get mugged on the street by idiots who think he is loaded? If Bill Gates can do it, sure as shit "Bob" can!
nu-monet
USA - Thursday, February 22, 2001 at 18:43:40 (EST)

hmmm. I mustn't have been drunk enough. I though Sterno had said $25 for each of Jesus and Mag. - not $25 per donation, and then misaccused Aaron of only pledging enough to send ONE of them. heck. My $50 pledge still stands. I'm going to fuck off now.
pope phil monty <pope_phil@ukdiuretics.com>
oop nurth, just south of scotlandland - Thursday, February 22, 2001 at 18:15:10 (EST)

Nu-Monet. this might _just_ work. mebbe the $1millon is a bit unrealistic, but I think people might go for it if we said $10,000 ...
pope phil monty <pope_phil@ukdiuretics.com>
oop nurth, englandland - Thursday, February 22, 2001 at 17:36:21 (EST)

Last year, with all the flyers around town, everyone wanted to know who the strange PIPE-SMOKING MAN was. This year, I think I will tell them that "he is a crazy American Billionaire who we think is on vacation is Amsterdam. If he sees you with a tee-shirt or something with his picture on it, he may give you ONE MILLION DOLLARS! We plan to have a party for him, and think he might show up."
nu-monet
USA - Wednesday, February 21, 2001 at 18:43:43 (EST)

rev. Aaron - you got $25??? so, which one do you want to come to holland?
pope phil monty
USA - Tuesday, February 20, 2001 at 19:30:14 (EST)

heck. I got $50 I can spare. (I'd only be spending it of fireworks and Absinthe). shit - I donated $$$ to get Legume to Brushwood and all he ever does is SCOWL at me.
Pope Phil Monty <pope_phil@ukdiuretics.com>
oop nurth, englandland - Tuesday, February 20, 2001 at 19:29:00 (EST)

Say, I thimk we're onto something here...Mary, will this work? There's some charity thing for pink babies going on at work along the lines of "donate one hours earnings to the pink babies appeal" - which make me think, why not donate one days Con job wages for the "bring JESUS, MARY and DEATHCHICK back to Amsterdam appeal"? I PLEDGE $100. I may be drunk and stoned, but Rachel if you e-mail me and say if this is a good idea, I'll send it right along. So match me you fuckers, and lets see if we can't capitalise on the fact that we are one DobbsHead with many bodies. Whoa, i'm getting some MAJOR invincibility vibes right now. What ever else we all are, we are the AMSTERDAM CLENCH! SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL CLENCH!!
rev mickey finn <stone_junction@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, February 20, 2001 at 18:49:39 (EST)

I got 25 bucks.
Rev. Aaron <b4baaron@yahoo.com>
Atlanta, ga USA - Saturday, February 17, 2001 at 22:33:44 (EST)

If 50 TRUE SUBGENIUSES pitched in $25 each, Jesus and Mary Magdelen could go to Amsterdam. I ain't too late. I pony up first. These two fucking DESERVE a vacation . . . they helped SAVE THE CHURCH! I know *I* wouldn't be able to REALLY party over there knowing that our lord and savior and the mrs. were languishing back in fucking TEXAS!!! How ya gonna be some kind of high school lawyer and try to 'frop in Amsterdam WHILE YOUR LORD is doing Church drudge-work in Dallas? It AIN'T FUCKING FAIR!!! I can't afford to go this time, either, but I can certainly afford to pitch in $25 to make sure THE RIGHT THING IS DONE!!!!! I guess Mary could handle the "accounting" part of this, so send the money to her. If it turns out that the fucking PINKS prevail and not enuff money is raised, then they could return your pittance, so include a fucking stamp and envelope with your donation. Jesus fucking BUSTED ASS and FARTED MIRACLES last year to make it EFFORTLESS for those who attended. He NOW knows the ropes in Amsterdam. Your $25 would be WELL spent, even if you cannot attend this year. DO THE RIGHT THING!!!!!!
Rev. Sternodox <sternodox@aristotle.net>
Fissure Tissue, Uh Hypertrophied Papilla - Saturday, February 17, 2001 at 17:39:59 (EST)

Yetis and yetas born from the briar womb of Bob's true pipe. Heed the call to duty. We must stand together now in this hour of schism and face the official task. Buy swag! Buy it now and buy a lot of it, too. And remember, bleeding head good. Healed head bad.
knockturnalemission
Truth or Consequences, Walloonia - Friday, February 16, 2001 at 21:42:09 (EST)

PraBob
Bowler <bowler@bowler.com>
Bowler, Co USA - Friday, February 16, 2001 at 03:32:01 (EST)

The rants over this have not yet begun. This is an outrage in a shade of pink beyond pink, pink of another nature, from another spectrum conceived and given snake-birth by not only the cons but the hell-cons who have come to drink our slack like hot blood from the lamb, or the goat. By Bob, there will be justice. Jesus, Magdalen, and Nickie will be redeemed by the smoke of the true pipe and will hover over their heads like smoke signals calling for war. Let's not forget General George egg-Custard and what happened to him. That bastard.
archbacon iZone of Knottsberry
nothing, az volcania - Thursday, February 15, 2001 at 15:12:37 (EST)

No! I'll be the one to put in a bitter rant. Whose fault is this? THE PINKS! The utter collapse of the greed-based foolishness has dragged many of us down with them. It wasn't OUR greed that has many of us pleading for bread crumbs--IT WAS THEIRS! It wasn't US that sent oil prices troo da roof--IT WAS THEM! It is "Bob"'s PUNISHMENT for dealing with Pinks at all! There is no other choice than to WIPE THEM ALL OUT! Yetisyny for Yetisyny. Off the merehume!
nu-monet
USA - Wednesday, February 14, 2001 at 20:18:45 (EST)

Jesus, Magdalen, and Rev. Nickie Deathchick can't go to Amsterdam due to lack of funds. [bitter rant deleted]
Stang <stang@subgenius.com>
Cleveland, OH USA - Wednesday, February 14, 2001 at 13:57:25 (EST)

Dear Stang, I have recieved the video and CD's. Thanks a lot. I'll have a copy of Arise in the PAL format when you get to Amsterdam. As for Rev Aaron, even though he: 1. Always takes his shirt off and sits in front of me at the theater so I all I can see is that Bobdamned tatoo on his back...... 2. ALWAYS eats more that his share of the bucket of chicken wings we order............. 3. Never took me down to the redlight district in Amsterdam and bought me a reach around...... 4. Bogarts............. 5. Fart.... 6. Made me president of Bikers for Bob MC Club Europe and NEVER SENT ME THE MEMBERSHIP LIKE HE PROMISED. Even after all this, I think he's an ok guy. He must be because he's paid his $30, and no matter what you, he, me, any member of the CSG, or Bob for that matter says, come July 5th, he'll be carried on board the love saucer on a throne of gold like a Nubian king by his fertile, nubile, angelic hostesses, and his will shall be bidded for all of eternity. NO ONE CAN CHANGE THIS. The NEW EUROPEAN SUBGENIUS WEBPAGE http://eurosubs.subnet.dk "The Church of the Subgenius is the only religion in the world where shit comes out of your mouth and enlightenment comes out of your ass". IN AMERICA CALL POPEBLACK TOLL FREE AT: 1-877-380-9191 ext. 430 and leave a message! http://surf.to/popeblacktheslack http://meltingpot.fortunecity.com/metric/302/ His divine grace in the Scientology Free Republic of Germany, The SubGenius Man in the Field!, The Second Luckiest Man Alive!, The Magnet of Slack!, The Apostle Pope General Dr. Mighty David Lee Black Ph.d THC MMDA Minister of Religion Fortschritt Partei (Progress Party)Germany Emperor of the SubGenius Eastern Unorthodox Empire President of: Beta Omega Beta Bikers for Bob Motercycle Club Europe The European SubGenius Confederation The SubGenius Olympic Doping Committee The Warmou Straat Parades Commision The Anti L.Ron Hubbard Fan Club The Anti Metalica Fan Club The Anti John Trivolta Fan Club The Anti VengaBays Fan Club The Anti Tom Cruise Fan Club The Anti Wolfgang Petri Fan Club The Anti Elton John Fan Club The Anti Rod Stewart Fan Club The Anti Micheal Jackson Fan Club The Anti Men At Work Fan Club The Anti Kelly Family Fan Club The Anti Back Street Boys Fan Club The Anti Spice Girls Fan Club The Anti Michael Bolton Fan Club The Anti Boy Zone Fan Club The Anti Ricky Martin Fan Club The Anti Geraldo Rivera Fan Club The Anti Will Smith Fan Club The Anti Cher Fan Clun The Anti Brian Adams Fan Club The Anti Whitny Houston Fan Club The Anti Hansen Fan Club The Anti Pet Shop Boys Fan Club The Anti Robbie Williams and Anti Take That Fan Club The Anti Kelly Family Fan Club The Anti Kenny G Fan Club The Anti Mariah Carry Fan Club The Anti Simply Red Fan Club The Anti Tic Tac Toe Fan Club The Anti Celene Dion Fan Club The Anti Britney Spears Fan Club Vice President of: The Anti Garth Brooks Fan Club The Anti Bette Midler Fan Club FBI CIA NSA IRS ATF BATF DOD WACO RUBY RIDGE OKC OKLAHOMA CITY MILITIA GUN HANDGUN MILGOV ASSAULT RIFLE TERRORISM BOMB DRUG HORIUCHI KORESH DAVIDIAN KAHL POSSE COMITATUS RANDY WEAVER VICKIE WEAVER SPECIAL FORCES LINDA THOMPSON SPECIAL OPERATIONS GROUP SOG SOF DELTA FORCE CONSTITUTION SUBGENIUS BILL OF RIGHTS WHITEWATER POM PARK ON METER ARKANSIDE IRAN CONTRAS OLIVER NORTH VINCE FOSTER PROMIS MOSSAD NASA MI5 ONI X-DAY CID AK47 M16 C4 MALCOLM X REVOLUTION CHEROKEE HILLARY BILL CLINTON GORE GEORGE BUSH WACKENHUT TERRORIST TASK FORCE 160 SPECIAL OPS 12TH GROUP 5TH GROUP http://www.subgenius.com
PopeBlack <popeblack@hotmail.com>
Dobbsburg, the Scientology Free republic of Germany - Saturday, February 10, 2001 at 12:47:03 (EST)

I hadn't planned on posting anything till after the 1st of Feb, but here's a brief note about the trip. So far, I've received payment for 18 people. 3 others have made arrangements to pay in mid Feb. 3 others have said they are going but haven't paid as of yet. 2 others are maybe. These numbers don't include Stang/Wei and Jesus/Mary. This also doesn't include any of the European SubGs. I've worked out all the details, I hope, with the hotel and reserved the rooms with my credit card. I'm sending them half the money in a couple weeks and paying the remainder just before we leave for the trip. As best as I can tell, since I've never handled reservations for so many people before, everything seems to be going just fine. SisD and I plan to arrive the day before to insure all is well and lessen any complications....and to smoke a big pile of 'frop, of course! The hotel seems to be undergoing a name change. Their correspondence lists them as the AMS Hofpark Hotel now. They will always be the Cok to us though. Maps, etc will be sent out to all attendees in the near future. That's it. Email me any time with any weird questions. And, yes, Nu-monet, your check arrived without any con operatives interference! Next up, XXXXDay! Then....Burning Man!!!
Doc Frop <frop@subgenius.com>
Fort Worth , TX USA - Tuesday, January 30, 2001 at 15:51:42 (EST)

Sis Dec and Doc Frop: please be luvs and send out a broadcast email with the paid attendees names on it, so we will be absolutely, positively sure that our deposits weren't intercepted by the forces of THEM. thx in advance
nu-monet
USA - Monday, January 29, 2001 at 20:09:57 (EST)

Amen, zafod, amen. So there will be t-shirts without armpits?
knots
nothing, Az USA - Monday, January 29, 2001 at 11:19:52 (EST)

Just a quick note: All is proceeding with the trip but there's a few of you we STILL haven't heard back from. You WON'T go if you don't write and pay. Simple. Other than that, I know I am looking forward to another six days with my Yeti Brethren in the Holy City!!!
Sister Decadence <decadence@subgenius.com>
Ft. Worth, TX USA - Monday, January 29, 2001 at 11:17:58 (EST)

The NEW EUROPEAN SUBGENIUS WEBPAGE http://eurosubs.subnet.dk The NEW EUROPEAN SUBGENIUS WEBPAGE http://eurosubs.subnet.dk Come into the light. All are welcome in the light! Yes my Yeti children all are welcome to the Holy SubGenius Eastern Unonorthodox Empire european subsite, the light of from the glow of Bob's holy pipe. We in the eastern part of the ever expanding SubGenius Empire (tm) have needed a way to keep up with one another for quite a long time. Now we have our own official website, WHICH IS DOBBS APPROVED (see Book of the SubGenius starting own clinch chapter). Please enjoy this site. Feel free to contribute art, grafics, rants, comments or anything else. Inside you'll find: Other European SubGenii Events Current news Links Slack Radio featuring "The Hour of Slack" Rants Art Sex Drugs and last but not least Eternal Salvation with a TRIPLE YOU MONEY BACK GUERANTEE!!!! If you have tried other Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll, end of the world, UFO cults and you felt as if you were at the bottom of a pyramid money making sceme WITH NONE OF THE ABOVE. This is the place for you.
PopeBlack <popeblack@hotmail.com>
Dobbsburg, Scientology Free republic of Germany - Saturday, January 27, 2001 at 06:44:53 (EST)

BTW, that's "consider" not comsider, and $490 of that "almost $2000" was for church products for me and a friend. I wind up with less than half of the product order. The other $1500 was for basic support. This info is to allay inquiries from nitpickers who are too busy playing investigatve journalist to pay attention to what they need to be doing; i.e., sending their money to "Bob". Old curmudgeon: Zafod
Rev. Zafod Rockatansky <diverdan@flash.net>
USA - Saturday, January 27, 2001 at 01:55:14 (EST)

From Rev Zafod Rockantnsky, a genuwine elder: Here's my take on this trip. Numero Uno: Lots of you are sounding like "what's the church doing for me, or I won't go". "Whine, bitch." That's the Bobbie sector. Remember, you give your money to "Bob" and maybe he'll get you on the saucers. "Bob" don't owe you SHIT!! You owe your continued existence to "Bob". "Bob" does what he wants with the money et.al. you give him, including support the "Church workers". There's an oxymoron for you: "Church workers". Stang et al work harder for the church than you do, but get less "slack per hour" than you do. Numero two-o: As an "elder" both in years of support and at age 60, I'm ashamed to hang out with a stingy group of spoiled brat children like a lot of you. I don't like to go public with my contributions, but just to shame you, I've given almost $2000 to "Bob" in the past two months out of my retirement pay as a former US Government worker drone. And you cheap bastards can't afford to pay a few bucks extra to help take the "big four [Stang, Wie, Jusus, Mag] to A'dam??!! Numero Three-o, just get off your ass and contact Doc Frop immediately and grovel to be taken onto the saucers by giving a little bit whether you can go or not this year, and then eat beans [soak overnight for tenderness before cooking...see? I save my money for "Bob" too.] for the next 12 months and save [less what you tithe to "Bob" between now & then] so you can go next year. Without Stang, how can you call it a Subgenius trip? Will there be t-shirts? Sure; I'll be wearing some. You expect the Church to haul them there on spec and then they're sold out of your size [probably XXXLarge] and expect to get them for less than $100 a pop? This ain't no friggin' Rolling Stones Tour where the church clears $10 million per show. If you want to hang out with the big boys & girls, you have to pay to know what you really think. If not, fuck you if you can't take a joke. Either you're a subgenius, and you'll give everything [or at least something] to continue the survival of the Church till it gets you off the planet on X-day whenever it cums, or you're a bobbie; a meat-puppet to be used in anyway true Subs see fit. By the way, we WILL be t