Subject: Big Brother is Watching Us... right now!

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@home.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: magdalen@subgenius.com
Date: Fri, Apr 30, 1999

The authorities of the Cambridge area have come to the conclusion that
we are a hate group, and they have combed through not only the official
SubG site, but also all the Holocaustal sites, and everyone else's sites
too. So far they have found what they consider to be an extreme amount
of "hate-filled propaganda". They do not think any of it is funny. It
is believed, but not confirmed that they are also currently monitoring
alt.slack. So: Dude, everybody act cool; the cops are here, man. Just
let us do the talking, we're more sober than you. Everybody hide yer
pipes, get yer clothes back on, and turn that music down fer chrissake!
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Subject: Re: Big Brother is Watching Us... right now!
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org

It just reminds me of the tale from back in the 1950's:

When the House Un-American Affairs Committee (not to be confused with
Senator Joseph McCarthy's Senate Hearings) was *successfully*
investigating Communist infiltration in the U.S. Departments of State
and Defense, unveiling large numbers of Communist spies and
sympathizers, they discovered that hard-corps fanatical idealists,
such as those they were searching for, were distinguishable by one
noteworthy characteristic:

They could not laugh at jokes.

Their hardened, fanatical little minds could not utilize the mechanism
of psychological protection known as laughter. All intellectual input
would either "fit" into their preconceived notions and philosophy, or
it was disregarded and utterly ignored.

(It should be noted that when such people are 'forced' by circumstances
into receiving such 'incongruous' information, they will invariably
experience a "flight or fight" response, instead of laughter.)

The world for such people is a complete dichotomy: Good versus Evil,
Communist versus Capitalist, Male versus Female, etc.; the polar
opposites of the dichotomy do not matter, only that there IS a dichotomy.

ALL THINGS must be catagorized into their polar extremes--there is
NO middle ground. And, importantly, that once one has strayed from
the GOOD side to the EVIL side, there is no return. An irresistable
force then claims the individual, and they are forever consigned to
EVIL and damnation.

This last point has been modified since that time. It is now a
generally accepted principal in the fanatical idealist set that, by
a process of "re-education", that is, the total re-domination of
the individual by the 'pure', that they may eventually be
conditionally returned to society. It must, however, be a total
destruction of their individuality and a return to uniformity and
normality, or the only alternative is for them to be destroyed.

Congratulations, "authorities of Cambridge", you may well now
consider yourself in the same mental camp as Bela Kuhn of Hungary,
Mao Tse Tung of China, and Pol Pot of Cambodia, even if you have
not yet reached their level of purity of essence.

I truly pity you. For even if you somehow transcend your bizarre
and anti-social thinking, it will destroy your conception of the
world utterly. It will be broken beyond repair, as will your
mind itself.

From observation, I believe it to be a predecessor condition to
pathological schizophrenia. I am not joking.

I appreciate all follow-ups to this post by such individuals,
and they will be shown consideration by me.
I also assume that, since there are many who object vehemently to
this characterization of the Church of the SubGenius as a "hate"
group, there will be also be acrimonious comments submitted.

Please ignore these in favor of a genuine exchange of ideas
and opinion.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Big Brother is Watching Us... right now!
From: Rev Carl X el-Hajj <carlg@pop.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack

Occifer, ya got it all wrong. We're a LOVE group. Christ, here's a $125
"donation" for the Policemen's Association. Haha, did you really
Glock--er, clock this newsgroup going 2000 in a 200-post zone? Honest,
this isn't a trenchcoat, I'm fucking Superman and this my cape. And
you're selling Amway soap too? I'll take a dozen. But I gotta tell ya
something. Lean real close, 'cos it's a secret...

FFFFF U U CCC K K Y Y OOO U U !
F U U C K K Y Y O O U U !
FFF U U C K K Y O O U U !
F U U C K K Y O O U U !
F UUU CCC K K Y OOO UUU !

In longer words, all the revenge fantasies, tasteless jokes, and
whatever are constitutionally PROTECTED and anyway contain less "hate
speech" (even by the loosest legal definition) than your average
pro-life newsgroup. The closest anyone here has come to actionable
speech were 1 1/2 cheers for the TCM. So fucking what? And using
non-Subg pineal extract to power a flying saucer is, given current
technology, A JOKE! Not exactly an incitement in real terms, is it?

Maybe next year, after we get First Lady Tipper Gore or some sourpuss
from the other branch of the Replicrat Party.

This is usenet, everywhere and nowhere, not some off-campus street you
can block off and troll for drunks. Wanna smash P-lil's taillight, write
a ticket and use that as "probable cause" to search her car? Wrong
state. Or to equate Konig Preusse and Legume's casual racism with a
dynamite bomb tossed in a black church window? Last I checked, they
don't live in your state either. Maybe you'll "find" drugs in my boat so
you can sell it before I go to trial and buy yourselves a new tank? Come
to Amsterdam and get it, dickheads. Offline, you smug fucks have a
saying--you can beat the rap but you can't beat the ride--meaning
there's no law against telling a cop politely to fuck off, but a
nightstick in the solar plexus or over the kidneys teaches a little
respect. But this is usenet, already illegal in many countries and
anathema to a few religions as well, so we're all lawbreakers here, or
somewhere. And you can't reach my kidneys from there.

This is a place where words, not bullets, fly. If the TCM had come here
first, they'd be making jokes about offing their fellow students, much
as we do sometimes, instead of actually doing it, and the only Nazis
Denver would have to deal with would be Boyd Rice and those guys who
capped the radio host some years ago. Words ain't bullets, and playing
"Police Truck" on the stereo isn't the same thing as assault, especially
when you can't make it so by breaking your nightsticks over our heads.
Not this time. The internet is where you hear the awful word "no." As
in, "no, you may not search my computer" and "no, I'm not coming with
you."

Now if you'll excuse me, the party's still roaring and I have to crank
up the stereo, smash a window to let in some air, and go piss in the
bushes. Come in if you like. There's beer in the fridge and a bowl of
face-fucking bat sperm antidote pudding on the table. Don't inhale the
nitrous directly from the nozzle and don't spill the bongwater, 'cos we
just laid the carpet. And speaking of being laid, if there's any sex act
that's illegal in Massachusetts, someone here's probably doing it. And
having sex with aliens is illegal under federal law, so maybe you'd
better call the FBI, if they're not here already.

Richard Tucker wrote:
>
>
> SCREW THE PIGS! Fascist little Pink Oinkers couldn't find their butts
> with both hands, a map, and a native guide! Hate group huh? Perhaps,
> personally I despise Liars, which includes damn near all of the Pink
> Government and their Hired Goons the Police. Tell us Officer Obie, how
> does it feel to be the unwitting pawn of the Power Elite? Does that
> Glock on your hip give you a sense of Invulnerability? Does it make you
> feel like a 'Big Man' to brutalize the innocents that your Pink Masters
> single out for extra persecution? enjoy it while you can Obie, the
> Stark Fist of Removal is inbound at this very moment, and the time of
> the Pink is woefully short.
>
> The preceding Rant is protected under the 1st Amendment, unless Clinton
> traded that to the ChiComms as well as the new guidance system from
> Loral Systems.
>
> regards...

--
The Bureau of Control - An official sponsor of the Millennium Bug!
http://www.vermilion-sands.com
Happiness is like a greasy dough--smearing over us and choking us
-- from Ingmar Bergman's "A Lesson In Love" (1954)
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Big Brother is Watching Us... right now!
From: David Tanstaafl <David@tanstaafl.cc>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: David@tanstaafl.cc
Date: Sat, May 1, 1999 4:14 AM
Message-ID: <372AC609.76B4@tanstaafl.cc>

I take it now would not be a good time to post the landing coordinates
for the X-ist Ships?
Rev. Moxie
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Big Brother is Watching Us... right now!
From: Depthfinder@nowheres.com (yuck)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: -------------------
Date: Sat, May 1, 1999 3:10 AM
Message-ID: <372ab5a3.631345319@news.mindspring.com>

"Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@home.com> wrote:

>The authorities of the Cambridge area have come to the conclusion that
>we are a hate group, and they have combed through not only the official
>SubG site, but also all the Holocaustal sites, and everyone else's sites
>too. So far they have found what they consider to be an extreme amount
>of "hate-filled propaganda". They do not think any of it is funny.

well, hell. Those dorks aren't as dumb as we would have hoped they
were, then.

How do you happen to know all this, by the way?

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