Dec. 1 2004
My Back is Back
Before we left for the 2004 Euro-SubGenius Tour and 4th Anal Frop Cup, I remember posting something along the lines of, "I hope nobody has a car, and we have to walk everywhere."
I got my wish. My legs are like Conan's now. Mightily sinewed oaken stumps. I had injured my back through disuse during the summer, but regular yet cautious toting of swag bag and suitcases has healed it, so that now I may wreck it again by sitting at this computer all winter. We ate like little piggies, too, yet I lost so much gut that I had to punch a new hole in my belt just to keep my pants up.
When we got home last night, a day later than expected, I found awaiting me 4636 email messages, 40 phone messages, and a massive amount of Sub biz which appears to have stacked up and then been suddenly forwarded en masse from the now-defunct Austin and Dallas Sub PO Boxes.
Looks like I am gonna be busier than a set of jumper cables at a SubGenius Devival.
What first, though? Besides the obvious. Unpack? Prep the pics and write the write-up? Process swag orders? Pay bills? Answer mail? Cover ass? I guess the last should come first. What I'd MOST like to do is irresponsibly order a new 200-gig hard drive for $160 and start copying our video footage onto that. But first, the ass-covering.
Meanwhile, here's what I told the Euro-SubGenius yahoo
Made It Home In Only a Few Pieces
I thought I was kidding when I said there'd be some delay on the flight home, but I was predicting. The plane left London an hour late on Monday and so we got to the States late at night, and missed our connecting flight home to Cleveland. We were stranded for the night in... DALLAS! Luckily, American Airlines put us up for free in a really fancy Harvey Suites with free breakfast. This morning (Tuesday) We/I made the plane to Cleveland, where Rev. Stymie deBergerac kindly intercepted us and our 3 giant still-full swag-packs, and took us home. I had 4,636 emails awaiting me and 40 phone messages. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! The fools think I will ANSWER them!! BLEEHAHAHAHA!!!
We/I had another time of our lives! At various points we followed EACH of the Whiskey Popes, EACH of the Frop Popes, and even the Dogfood Pope, Pope Perro. Everybody took turns taking very good care of us, and we are MOST grateful to every single one of you fucked-up motherfuckers!
I can't wait to start monkeying with all the photos, videos and recordings we harvested on this mighty tour. Amazingly enough, it all seems to have survived. "Bob" may have our wallets, but we have ZE EVIDENCE... PROOF that IT ALL REALLY HAPPENED!!
THANKS TO ALL!!!! I will get cracking on the Report/Jack-Off and make it look even crazier and greater than it really was, which was already REALLY CRAZY and REALLY GREAT!
NEXT YEAR!!! AIIEEEE!!!