Subject: HellPope Huey Humps Seattle

From: HellPope Huey <>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Apr 18, 2000 2:50 PM
Message-ID: <8diape$79r$>

Seattle was a Devival of somewhat modest size this go-round, yet it
sinning for a few sick moments of pleasure and IT WAS WORTH IT! Now I no
longer have to labor under the fear that my prong is history: IT STILL
WORKS! PRAISE DOBBS!!! However, I must now carry the massive, enhanced
testes around in a Little Red Flyer wagon.

I'd never seen Little Fyodor in action, but now I am der believer.
Someone spliced together radical guitar work, Woody Allen, Carrot Top
and some sort of other-dimensional hit man! Sister Decadence is right,
we SHOULD collect a pot for his ticket to XXX-Day. Ye who haven't seen
just can't IMAGINE. Its almost as if Janor wrote still songs and HADN'T
gone irretreivably mad. Its ascended stuff! Trust me, I'm a doktor.

"Seattle Is A Great Big Pile Of Shit" should take its place next to
"Told The Judge To Suck My Dick." Its THAT GOOD. His ominous oratorical
skills also cries out for a SubG-reworking of Othello. The man is
descended from ataposaurs and Brazilian brujeria witch tribes, I'm
convinced of it.

Rev. Kali de Rouge and the Thigh-Melting Dance of the Kali were a
sight to behold. I wanted to BE that top hat SO BADLY...! She also
skillfully utilized two unsuspecting male units from the audience in a
beautifully constructed object lesson in DobbsParables. Great stuff! If
captured, never let them give you to the WOMEN....Our UberFemmes are
secretly pulling the strings that connect to the Illuminatical Points of

The Duke of Uke classily murdered several pop hits. I'd never heard
him either, but life is so much richer for having done so. I suggested
that he take to playing through a fuzz box like Nash the Slash and doing
big power chords. Mash him n' Fyodor together and you'd be close. Of
course, if you TRIED to mash them together, they'd shit in yer shoe and
make you eat it. Another Sub with a pure & functional vocal-cord

Kenneth Huey and BunnyBoy shocked the Pee outta me and I have a
really BIG Sub-BLADDER, so that's a heckuva job in itself. Geez,
SubGeniuses are suddenly bucking the trends and SINGING ON PITCH, IN BIG
have GREAT VOICES, ya'll. AntiMusic was fine as far as it went, but its
time for PROMusic to rule. Mere volume hasn't the blow-away power of
COMPETENCE! And competence hasn't the blow-away power of a LAWS rocket
aimed right into the belly of my 2nd-house-over neighbor's howling,
yowling mutoid dog, but that's another tale.

Rev. Judas scared me by ranting something that strongly resembled Ron
Hubbard explaining how the Norse Storm Giants were going to line up all
our balls on a shiskebob and wash them down with our pureed brains. I
got scared and had to drink 3 quarts of Danish beer to calm down. So
forceful, you'd think he was trying to sell both Amway AND Scientology
at the same time. Stang should pull the strings, but Judas should be the
press secretary. No one would DARE ask him leading questions for fear of
the 2nd-degree burns.

STANG is still STANG. PRAISE Saint Stang!!! He got a really long beard
hair in my opiated Ovaltine. I have a sinister ritual planned for it.

Popess Lilith crushed all remaining resistance with a stirring rant
that set off the smoke alarms. Lilith's SubLogic scares me, yet I cannot
look away. I'm always impressed when someone manages to splice LOGIC and
DOBBS together. She can do the Deed. You know that smell that hovers
around Lil at times? Its OZONE. Stay grounded or the charge will turn
your scalp into a charred wasteland from the discharge. It'll cure acne,
but its a high price to pay.

I got some gratifyin' response to my synth stuff. Onan says the world
needs a Pope Huey CD. I say it needs a 400 degree mineral oil enema.
Don't get inflamed egos, kids, just demure, keep practicing and balance
yer own damned checkbook, the accountant is a hack thief.

I got off. I was AMAZED to get off! It always happens when you're
nappin', as Saint Leon Redbone sez. I can still taste yer _____, my
darling! If I can off enough cats to make the air fare by selling the
heads to Science. I'm goin' NEXT year, too! MAHUNGA!

HellPope Huey,
AfterGlow, Sore Cheeks From Uncharacte

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