Fear and loathing in brushwood(or the true story of the shit in the hottub)

From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)
Date: Sun, 19 Jul 1998

In article <1998071823564800.TAA11145@ladder03.news.aol.com>,
p0pescum@aol.com (P0PE Scum) wrote:

>here's something rather amusing: After our guitarists accident in the hot tub i
>heard several people say " oh my god, that is so SLACK". Weeelll isn't that
>interesting.Let's just let that soak in for a minute shall we. I was
>particularly amused by the surly mob that hung around with sticks, etc to
>ensure that we left.

If someone had pissed into your amps by mistake, would you have considered
this equally "slack"?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "König PreuBe, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com>

Explain, please, WTF, slack has to do with equal?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: cht@NOSPAMgis.net (Rev. Jihad Frenzy)

Y'know. I have been drunk in my life. Massively, hugely, jesus christ,
maybe we'd better call 911! drunk in my life.

I have never pissed nor shat myself.

Methinks your band member is just an asshole.

--
Rev. Jihad Frenzy

"Gadzooks!", quoth I, "But here's a saucy bawd!"

I, Libertine
by Fredrick R. Ewing

<A HREF="http://www.gis.net/~cht"/A>

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: box2321@teleport.com (P. O. Box 2321)

Something I did not digitize (but may, now that I'm confessing to it)
was a well-known SubGenii suggesting then detailing a "Shit War" between
the Church of the SubGenius and the Date Rapists. I'd not wanted to
escelate the horror but... AAAIIIEEEE!

-O.

--
Rev. Dr. Onan Canobite - SubGenius since 1982 - onan@subgenius.com
Send One Dollar to http://www.subgenius.com/ for Eternal Salvation

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "König PreuBe, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com>

Obviously the man couldn't hold his mud!
You're not really drunk until you have to hold
on to the ground to keep from falling off.

IMHO the thing to do in such an instance is
to hold the perps head under water until they stop bubbling--

But I still think it's funny!

--------------BC2572551820ECD51A575995
Content-Type: image/jpeg; name="poolife.jpg"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: base64

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: sikhs@Kabob.com (yard man)

p0pescum@aol.com (P0PE Scum) wrote:

>here's something rather amusing: After our guitarists accident in the hot tub i
>heard several people say " oh my god, that is so SLACK". Weeelll isn't that
>interesting.

yeah, but that was only because they thought he did in on purpose. Now
that we know he was just a pitable, sick-bellied, loose-sphinctered
twat that oughta be wearing chucks under his Walmart spandex, well,
shit on him.

>Let's just let that soak in for a minute shall we. I was
>particularly amused by the surly mob that hung around with sticks, etc to
>ensure that we left.
>and, for the record: it was an ACCIDENT. these things happen. it was most
>unfortunate that this happened while nekkid in a hot tub, but nevertheless it
>was and shall remain an accident.

hey, it don't have much choice but to remain what it was if it was and
is, an accidental shit. But I'll admit that don't hold true when the
accidental shits gotta face down a surly mob what hangs around with
sticks. Funny how life irritates art, ain't it? Price you pay for
being no good at it. If you were the kinda no-talent guy that sings
for Aerosmith and looks like he's apt to turn himself inside out if
opens that horrid yap of his any wider, well, your spastic, two-chord,
dribbling-ass sizzling-axe man coulda crapped in stang's private
bassinette and he'd still have given you the keys to the trailer so
you could at least have pretended to get ol' squirty cleaned up before
embarrassing yourself on stage.

>i'm sure it wasn't the only time the hot tub got cleaned that weekend

SHEEEEYIT, I bet it's the only time it's been cleaned in a year!

>The bigger mistake was that we even bothered to go.
>Anyways, jesus i forgive you.

what the fuck jesus ever do to you? Yer asshole is dependable, right?
Well, there ya GO!.... OOOPS. Well, that was, is, and forever shall
remain an accident. Please forgive me, but fuck you if you can't. Now
Go Forth and be Getting thee from my face, my son.

>You did what you saw fit.

I never saw shit, and I didn't do shit. And I didn't even see a whole
lot that was fit for doing, or people fit enough to do it to.

>Although I think the
>matter could have been settled a bit more diplomatically (on both sides).

OH YASS! They shoulda called in Jimminy Cooter and had a Cramp
Davidian tent summit, and sorted out, calmly and rationally, the
proper JaccSpewzi RAPPARATIONS, then solemnly gaveled the full weight
of the law atchoo and harrumphed and ahemed and informed you that you
were to be chased at surly stick-point all the way back to the
parent's houses without EVEN being given a chance to stop and empty
the plastic bucket you keep taped to ol' Eddie Van Squirty's ass....
BUT quite deliberately neglect to inform you that they hired me (for
two fishsticks) to shoot ya all dead just before you got there, then
blame it all on a DIFFERENT bunch of religious cultists.

>It's a shame we didn't get to play for you, but fuck it. your loss.

hey, fuck your own losses. I'm having trouble finding mine.

>I won't be seeing you next year.

I didn't see ya this year.

>Pope Edsel Fnord (Hail Eris)

with stuff the size of golf balls

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Steve Slack <Obnostic@erols.com>

P0PE Scum wrote:

> and, for the record: it was an ACCIDENT. these things happen.

MEANING, he tried to blow a fart bubble and hit mud instead.
Yeah, some 'accident'; your friends' cute little prank
'backfired', so to speak.

>it was most unfortunate that this happened while nekkid in a hot tub

I guess that means when you're all travelling in the van, your
buddy shits his pants on a regular basis. "Duuuuude, it was an
accident, I swear."

>heard several people say " oh my god, that is so SLACK"

No doubt non-subs who hadn't made the distinction between
Slack and SLOTH. Jackanape behavior is NOT COOL no matter
where it happens. Oh damn, I just gave punker boy a new
band name.

Fucking rednecks who dress for Halloween and call themselves
'punk', always fucking things up for everyone else 'cause they
think it's 'cute'.

Mabye someday someone will 'accidently' shit in your guitar case.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: phinarco@my-dejanews.com

Does this incident mean the new catch phrase in the church is going to be "It
sorta makes me shit"?

--
-=-Phineas Narco
Online tape catalog: http://www.carhart.com/~phineas/

-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----
http://www.dejanews.com/rg_mkgrp.xp Create Your Own Free Member Forum

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <6p0lf0$5ia$1@nnrp1.dejanews.com>, phinarco@my-dejanews.com wrote:

> Does this incident mean the new catch phrase in the church is going to be "It
> sorta makes me shit"?
>

Nah, the new catch phrase is "KIDS... FUCK 'EM!" (copyright 1998 GGG)

I just got back from ACE's Starwood, an even bigger fest at Brushwood, and
nobody shat the tub the whole time.

Not sure what that says about our events versus ACE's.

--
Copyright 1998 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack

Back to document index

Original file name: Fear and loathing Brushwood

This file was converted with TextToHTML - (c) Logic n.v.