YOU ARE NOW WARNED: This post will contain some thoughts that, to me at
least, are serious. I will probably be counted among those that have
posted over-emotional crap after X-Day, so skip this now if you don't
want to hear it anymore.
And now...we return you to your regularly scheduled program.
I've finally pulled most of my head back together, following X-Day. And
it only took a WEEK! Some of it is beginning to make sense, and being
the generous person that I am, I thought I'd share. Some of this will be
a repeat of what I posted last week, but I need to say it all, even the
repetitive parts, to keep it straight in my head.
First, some background information. At the beginning of June, I found
out that I was BROKE. Worse than broke, really. And I decided then that
I would have to scrap my plans for going to Brushwood. I just couldn't
afford it. At the same time, I went into a major tailspin, as 10 years
of depression that I had been fighting came crashing upon me, all at
once. I'll spare you the details, but let's just say that I was FUCKING
MISERABLE in every sense of the word.
I finally gave in. I let the depression wash over me, and started to
just let my life take me where it would. And after a week or so, I found
that the luck-plane had finally tilted in my favor. The money situation
got a little better, I got a very slackful assignment at work, and I
actually had SEX with a real-live GIRL!!! (It wasn't the first time, but
in some ways, it felt like it.) I began to feel like I was finally
finding true SLACK. (Weird...I had to accept that I was miserable before
I could be happy.)
With things looking better all the time, I decided that come hell or high
water, I WOULD go to Brushwood. Whatever it took. And in the end, it
wasn't that difficult to pull off. So, with a little cash in my pocket,
and no idea what to expect, I set off for the End of The World.
I won't bore you with the details of my weekend. Anyone who cares
already knows that I had a GREAT TIME. I hated to leave. But it was
only after I got home, that I realized just what was happening to me. It
primarily consists of two things.
1) As has been said by some others, I began to feel like I had a FAMILY
out there. A REAL family, composed of people who feel something similar
to what I feel everytime I look at this fucked-up world. And just
knowing that those people are out there makes life better. 'Nuff said
2) For lack of a better phrase, I feel like my THIRD EYE has been opened
fully. I'm laughing at this world now. I chuckle when I see the Pink
folks struggle for happiness, knowing that they will never find it if
they keep working so DAMN HARD at it. I just grin at the handful who
think I'm some kind of cultist, and that I went off to kill myself just
over a week ago. They're the funniest ones of all. They take it all so
SERIOUSLY. They can't see the JOKE...and the joke is not simply this
Church, it's this whole crazy WORLD. And in my laughter at the joke,
I've finally found peace within myself. $20 was a SMALL price to pay for
what I've found.
A Note To Ivan Stang: Something happened on X-Day that I can't explain,
but that I feel in myself and in a lot of other Yeti. This whole thing
may be a JOKE and a way to make a few BUCKS, and we all know that, but
I'm beginning to feel that you may have given birth to a REAL LIVE
RELIGION. Maybe I'm saying something that you and everyone else have
known for a long time, but it's coming as something of a surprise to me.
Underneath the laughter, deep within the sickest, funniest, and most
profitable joke I know of, is a lot of TRUTH. At least, a truth that
works for us. We'll never be a bunch of sheep like the other religions
have, and you'll never be an all-powerful father-figure like the Pope in
Rome, but some of us have found a calling within this Church. And the
world NEEDS this Church, to point out just how ludicrous this world has
become. I, for one, would like to thank you (and anyone else who may
have been involved) for creating this tool that allows me (and others, I
think) to express myself in the way I've always really wanted to.
OK....enough emotional, over-analyzing crap...let's get back to the HATE!
Church of the Inevitable Revolution
"History Ends Right Now!"
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