"Bob" still wants your cash!

From: Jaden@nospam.parkave.net (Jaden)
Date: Tue, 07 Jul 1998 03:41:49 GMT

On Mon, 6 Jul 1998 19:23:21 -0700, "Nuclear Waste" <bigjim@lemoorenet.com>

> Jahweh D. Lynch wrote in message <35a68341.2364026@news.newsguy.com>...
> >Thus spake HK:
> >
> >>Jaden wrote:
> >>
> >>> The SubSite at www.subgenius.com was down early on X-Day, but is now
> back up.
> >>>
> >>> And if you follow the link at the bottom, guess what...
> >>>
> >>> They're still trying to sell us crap! Yes, the Church of the SubGenius
> has been
> >>> undeniably revealed as a fraud by the X-Day fiasco (and who wasn't
> expecting it
> >>> to turn out this way, really?), but does that mean they should stop
> lining their
> >>> pockets by selling cheap plastic Dobbs trinkets by the roadside?
> >>>
> >>> Of course not!
> >>
> >>What's even worse, people will still buy the shit.
> >
> >What's even worse is that you people are supposed to be goddamned fucking
> >get?
> >
> What's even worse is that you people are supposed to be goddamned fucking
> aware of the fact that we are discordians and YOU STILL FUCKING TAKE US
> As far as how dense can we get, once the event horizon is reached,
> calculations break down. I will keep you informed though.
> In all future responses refer to us as snakes.
> Snakes have no legs.

If you think about it, that's a little creepy.

Jaden ~ thepope@catholic.org
*Suspicion Breeds Confidence*
members.xoom.com/ABMTAC ~ alt.discordia
There is no enemy


From: Timothy Sutter <tsutter@geocities.com>
Newsgroups: alt.discordia,alt.slack

> (Marc Lachance) wrote:

> > Er, wasn't the POINT of the CoSG? Aren't they the ones who claim to
> > deprogram you as soon as you join? It's all a Parody(tm). It may be
> > disturbing at times, but not half as disturbing as that peculiar American
> > blend called Fundamental Christianity. At least the SubGenii (most of
> > them, anyways) realise that the X-ists, "Bob" and what-not are just props.
> >
> > Meanwhile, we Erisians (espacially us over-30 types) "worship" a Goddess
> > who could care less how we do it. That means we have free reign to form
> > our church any way we please, and She'll treat us all the same. Hell we
> > could war amongst ourselves with REAL guns and knives, and She'll merely
> > shrug and say, "If that's what you want to do, OK." All of our religious
> > posing is just that: posing. Our ceremonies aren't for Eris. They're for
> > our own egos and sense of Community.

> > We now return to our regularly scheduled booger-mentality flame war...

> As I said in some other thread, 'tis all in good fun.

Michael Jackson tried to pick my nose, look where it got him.

I Won't Dignify That With a Response No One
It all comes down to the Virgin and the Dynamo


From: Zach Garland <zach@cyberramp.net>

Didn't stop Jimmy Swaggart, did it?

He's still out there somewhere even today sellin' his *version* of salvation. We may
think he's full of shit, but some little old lady in Bumfuk Arkansas is getting
slack from it.

The Church don't TRY to sell you nuthin'. If you fork over your thirty bucks it's
your choice. They give you the opportunity to find your own slack. Something no
other religion's gonna do for you.

If you didn't find it, well I can't help you. No one can help you.



From: Unit4@Sputum.Com (Doktor DynaSoar)

In alt.slack Jaden wrote:

^They're still trying to sell us crap! Yes, the Church of the SubGenius has been
^undeniably revealed as a fraud by the X-Day fiasco

No it wasn't. It was revealed as a fraud before Dobbs hired Stang.

(@ @)\DynaSoar\___, Doktor DynaSoar Iridium, Scienfictiontologist
ll ll Yetii Genetii Research InstiToot, Somedamnwhere, VA
Clench of The One True Pipe Dream, ElectroChurch of the SubGenius


From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)

In article <35A0C912.7358A73B@iglou.com>, HK <nethuntr@iglou.com> wrote:

>What's even worse, people will still buy the shit.

10:30 AM on Sunday, they were selling MORE CHURCH MEMBERSHIPS!

Praaaaaaiiiise "Bob"!


From: Timothy Sutter <tsutter@geocities.com>

Zach Garland wrote:

> Slack is stupid.

if slack makes you the bitter little asshole
that all of you are, then who needs it?

you do obviously, but nobody needs a
bunch of bitter little whining crybabies
cuz I didn't get all that love from home type smarminess.

shitheads who woke up one morning dissatisfied with
their white collar luxury and decided
"slumming it" was the way to go.

go lay in the gutter for real.
don't just pretend.
come on, it comes naturally.
no effort is needed.

"but mommy made me iron my OWN shirts and she was a christian."

"I knew right then and there that christianity was for the birds"

"gee I'm glad I found knew improved assholism"

"slack, i learned it in white bread college, so it must be true."

"won't somebody please help me tie my shoes?"


From: Zach Garland <zach@cyberramp.net>
Uh, excuse me. I said "slack is all." I never said "slack is stupid."
Get your eyeballs out of the Bobdamned martini glasses for one second
before somebody accidently eats them for you.

Praise me.


From: terrygibson@rocketmail.com

For those of you who actually attended THE EVENT,
there is a bit of sweet irony in the above text. You
will recall that actual literal SHIT was sold at the
BullDada Auction (tm) for a cool $27,the supplier
informing the crowd that she had enjoyed peaches
for breakfast. Now don't you boys wish you'd been

-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----
http://www.dejanews.com/rg_mkgrp.xp Create Your Own Free Member Forum


From: 1136767@skytel.com (Dr. Derek Robb, Kaiju Hakase)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia,alt.slack

IrRev. Friday Jones <friday@subgenius.com> exploded:

|10:30 AM on Sunday, they were selling MORE CHURCH MEMBERSHIPS!

|Praaaaaaiiiise "Bob"!

Yep. Hell. I ordained my CAR. Now, my car is fully authorised to carry out
all churchly duties. Anytime it wants to spontaniously drop its exhaust
manifold, well, that's within it's Slack. AND, anything my car says is
INSTANTLY True Church Dogma.

Anyway. $30 still gets you a big envelope of nifty crap, news on upcoming
devivals, a membership card which can be useful if used properly (I've
actually managed to flash the card on several occasions and get into
various "off limits" areas as police scenes, recently burned out
buildings, etc) and .. well, i get slack from subsidising weirdos. I'm
just funny that way, i guess. Every dobbshead ordered from the church!
Every alien head purchased from bill barker! Praise "BOB"!

Of course, i'd be happy to subsidise discordian endeavors, but none of you
erisians actually seem to *do* anything...

But, yeah. So the saucers didn't come... BIG DEAL. It was INHERENTLY BOGUS
from the get-go, and now it's even moreso... and it was accompanied by a
massive brain bending shit kickin' PARTY the likes of which ye sharl ne'er
see again (at least not for another 6663 years)... so i'd say it came
through FULLY. Gave me MY money's worth.

Some talk was ensuing later that morning after the xist no-show about this
shaking the faith of subgeniuses... if anything, it STRENGTHENED my faith.
It demonstrated that a bunch of subgeniuses can CELEBRATE like ALL GIT-OUT

You can't fight City Hall, but you can for goddamn sure blow it up.

http://www.tezcat.com/~aieeee http://www.nutmeg.net
reply-email to THIS: a i e e e e @ t e z c a t . c o m


From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)

In article <35a1cf0a.35110009@newserv.parkave.net>,
Jaden@nospam.parkave.net wrote:

>"No time for love, Dr. Jones..."



From: "Nuclear Waste" <bigjim@lemoorenet.com>

Pee Kitty wrote in message <6o2ufc$oft@examiner.concentric.net>...
>In alt.slack Nuclear Waste <bigjim@lemoorenet.com> wrote:
>> Modemac wrote in message <6nqhr9$mem@news-central.tiac.net>...
>>> And All I Got Was
>>> Eternal Salvation
>>> And This Lousy T-Shirt
>> Now THAT is cool.
>You oughta see the front of it... full color (not just 2- or 4-color)
>front, showing alien "Bob"ships and robo"Bob"s destroying a city on Earth.
>VERY slick looking. Rev. Betsy Fuckin Ross bought me one for my birthday.
>Of course, there's much to be said for the plain, simple, B&W dobbshead...
Now for one of those shirts, I will put out some of my ill gotten gains.

Send me an address.


From: Pee Kitty <Pkitty@mariner.cris.com>

http://www.subgenius.com for online ordering

1-888-669-2323 for over the phone ordering

SubGenius Foundation
P.O. Box 140306
Dallas, TX 75214
for snail mail ordering


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