X-Day--just like it was foretold

From: richhughes@aol.com (RichHughes)

>On Wed, Jul 8, 1998 23:25 EDT AliceGj said
>It was great!
>
>7:00 and the ride was smooth. Planet-X sure looks a lot
>like where we left, but, what the hey!
>
>[snip]
>
>It doesn't get any better than this! Thanks Bob and Connie,
>Stang, Sterno, Hypercleats, etc.
>
>Now I think I'll go drink another frosty one.
>
> Fr. Coprolite
> Ex Impotentate of Fifth Avenue
>
I wish! The bastards picked me up right on schedule, too. But that was the
only thing that went right. There were six of us and only one sex goddess and
she and would only do one of us at a time. Guess who drew the short straw!
She looked a lot like Juicy Magilla-Cudly, who married Riki Retardo, the Q-band
singer, but not the Young Juicy, the OLD Juicy - she must have been pushing 65.
The pilot did look like Ricki Retardo, too, but he couldn't play bongo for
shit!

Then people got bored and started bitching. One guy kept asking, "Are we there
yet?" And another dude kept wanted to stop at every space station we passed to
take a leak . Someone wanted to go back because he left his oven on! My god.
Then I asked them to stop at the snake farm in orbit around Barnard's Star. I
guess that was the last straw. They turned around and dumped us back here
(literally - the mothers were hoovering 20 feet off the ground).

The pilot just shook his head in disgust and said in his Q-band accent, "You
guys just no be ready yet. Maybe nex' year."

"But what about the prophecy?" I said as he dangled me out the hatch by one
foot. "Fock the prophecy, mon! Stang, he weel figure out somethin' cleever to
cover for us."

"Stang?!" I shouted. "You brought him back, too? " "Never peek him up." he
said as he let me go, "His saucer's crew, they got los' and eendid up een
Buffalo - no hay slack nada there, amigo, so they go home."

I saw them disappear into the sky as I lost consciousness.

But hey, I figure it's like you can't have good without evil to compare it to.
If I did go to planet X where there was nothing but slack, how would I know
what slack really is. Maybe I truly am not redy for meta-slack.

//Those who are truly awake go through life in slack-jawed amazement at the
irrational antics of those who otherwise appear intelligent.//

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