Dear Rev. Stang:
First, let me say bless you and bless Bob. My time at Brushwood was filled with the kind of epiphanies not even Siddhartha experienced sitting under that damn tree. These include:
EPIPHANY 1: Bob is Love, Love is Bob. Until I took him into my heart I thought he was just some pipe-toting fropster with too much charisma. The veil has been lifted from my eyes.
EPIPHANY 2: The Church of the Subgenius is large enough to get its loving arms around just about every form of humanity you can imagine (no animals are permitted at Brushwood but I'm sure they would've been welcome aboard the Pleasure Saucers). I met church members from every conceivable walk (stumble?) of life, most of them were people I'd gladly associate with even outside of church events.
EPIPHANY 3: Slack is not an option, it's an imperative. I haven't had enough in my life. But since emerging from the warm womb of Brushwood I've seen to achieving far more in my life. Praise Bob!
EPIPHANY 4: The end of the world took place whether SubGenii knew it or not. It happenedd in my head and that's all that really matters, doesn't it? Far from tar and feathering you, Stang, I wanted to anoint you with fine-smellling oils and feed you stinky cheeses from a silver tray. You brought great joy into my life - and many naked chicks.
EPIPHANY 5: There can never be enough naked chicks walking around. To all of you female reverends who decided to go skyclad, bless you and praise Bob! Nudity is next to Bobliness.
EPIPHANY 6: Bob provides, if you trust in him. Just when I thought there wouldn't be enough drugs to see me through to Rupture, Reverend Ashman took up the Slack - and gave it all back. Bless you, Rev. Ashman! Praise Bob! Praise, too to Rev. Kaz and the one-and-only Lou Minotti.
EPIPHANY 7: There's always a Pink willing to harsh your mellow. It happened to me when my horribly expensive tape recorder got swiped during the weekend. Luckily, the thieving magpie who took it back to his or her nest doesn't know I've followed your lead, Rev. Stang, and have cursed the object for all time. May the thief always know the sting of complete miscommunication.
EPIPHANY 8: Some SubGenii couldn't achieve slack if threatened with death. I was in the main shithouse one morning, trying to to excremeditate in peace, when two Genii geekboys began spinning their outlandish tales of Dobbs and stars and moons and saucers and so on. For Bob's sake, people - LET A MAN SHIT IN PEACE!!! Praise Bob!
EPIPHANY 9: I had more epiphanies than I could possibly write here. Mind-numbing epiphanies. Life-altering epiphanies. I owe then all to you, Stang - and to Bob (and to Lou Minotti for convicing me to come to X-Day this year). Praise every one of you. Praise Bob!
Reverend Chris T., of the Ministry of Radio
Back to document index
Original file name: X-Day Next Day(ChrisT)
This file was converted with TextToHTML - (c) Logic n.v.