When Will You Grow Up and Leave This "Church"? (ExposeBob!)

From: exposebob@aol.com (Exposebob)

Well, so far, no reports of any suicides or stupid stunts like say, some young
high school kid with a gun killing "normals" for Bob. (Let's hope no such
reports come trailing in late). But I can't believe you people are still
acting as if nothing has happened. You've been HAD. You finally got PROOF of it
and you're still here. What will it take to show you it's all a fraud? Why do
you continue to follow this sham? This is amazing. And sad.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: saint andreux <saint@!bugger-off!prairienet.org>

Exposebob wrote:

> What will it take to show you it's all a fraud? Why do
> you continue to follow this sham? This is amazing. And sad.

"SHUT UP."

- Nenslo.

--
saint andreux --><--
"the pervert is back!"
www.prairienet.org/~saint/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Sketchy Albedo <revjack@radix.net>

Sorta begs the question - why are you following us losers around?

--
_________________
revjack@radix.net
You are an engineer

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Frank Sullivan <sullivan@chorkey.com>

Exposebob wrote:
>
> Well, so far, no reports of any suicides or stupid stunts like say, some young
> high school kid with a gun killing "normals" for Bob. (Let's hope no such
> reports come trailing in late). But I can't believe you people are still
> acting as if nothing has happened. You've been HAD. You finally got PROOF of it
> and you're still here. What will it take to show you it's all a fraud? Why do
> you continue to follow this sham? This is amazing. And sad.

What proof? Show me this proof. Fraud? What fraud?
You take these halucinations TOO seriously. It's sad, for you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: ghsst6@pop.pitt.edu (Geoff Spear)

In article <1998070719181800.PAA09773@ladder01.news.aol.com>,
exposebob@aol.com (Exposebob) wrote:
: You finally got PROOF of it
: and you're still here. What will it take to show you it's all a fraud? Why do

what do you mean "finally," Pinkboy? i think the fact that the SubGenius
membership card prominently uses the word "Fraudulent" to describe the
Church was clear enough to all but the most moronic members of the church
from the beginning.

i suspect you're a "Bob"bie who is very disappointed that all the other
kids who beat you up every day weren't destroyed by X-ist saucers.

sorry, kid, the beatings will go on until you get yourself some Slack.
--
geoff spear | please respond via snail mail;
http://www.pitt.edu/~ghsst6/ | i don't use computers.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Jonesin'" <slack@spam.net>

Are you serious? You make it sound as though being "had" is a BAD thing.
Unlike all other religions, the church of the Subgenius OPENLY ADMITS that
it is a "bogus cult." It always has! It says so right in their pamphlets
and membership cards, as if their tongue-in-cheekiness isn't obvious enough!
If you're going to join a bogus religion (all of them are) and send them
your money, at least join an honest one that admits its bogusness and only
charges $30.

(Not to mention guranteeing eternal salvation or TRIPLE your money back.)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)

In article <1998070719181800.PAA09773@ladder01.news.aol.com>,
exposebob@aol.com (Exposebob) wrote:

>Well, so far, no reports of any suicides or stupid stunts like say, some young
>high school kid with a gun killing "normals" for Bob. (Let's hope no such
>reports come trailing in late). But I can't believe you people are still
>acting as if nothing has happened. You've been HAD. You finally got PROOF of it
>and you're still here. What will it take to show you it's all a fraud? Why do
>you continue to follow this sham? This is amazing. And sad.

I have grown in ALL DIRECTIONS in this Church! The only way I'm leaving
this Church is FEET FIRST!

- IrReverend Friday Jones

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "kevbob" <kevbob.AlLsPaM@ecsis.net>

Exposebob <exposebob@aol.com> wrote in article
<1998070719181800.PAA09773@ladder01.news.aol.com>...
> You've been HAD. You finally got PROOF of it
> and you're still here. What will it take to show you it's all a fraud?
Why do
> you continue to follow this sham? This is amazing. And sad.
>

great,

i see there's still crack to be had.

excellent.

--
"the middle just got harder."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Doug A. Hole" <nedwreck@bellsouth.net>

1. You could always blow your tiny little brains out.(HINT: Aim for your penis.)
2. If any High School kids start killing "normals" we'd be reading your obituary,
not your
stupid posting.
3. To say "Nothing Happened" would be a lie. A lot of "things" happened.
(heh-henh).
4. I get "HAD" every time I pay my "Bob"Damn taxes.
5. All I ever needed to do to remind myself this was a fraud was look at my
membership
card. It's all there in black and white. But I will always, ALWAYS, prefer to
pull the
wool over my own eyes.
6.Why do you continue to care what we do? Do you not have a life? What is
amazing
and sad, is the way SOME people choose to make complete knee-biting wankers
of themselves by posting anemic squitterings such as yours!
7. The quotation marks go around "Bob"s name, Bub.

But, I will answer the initial question, since you asked.
I am grown up, I am an adult. I am a 43 year old man. I have responsibilities. I
have
people who depend on me to honor these responsibilities. I can do no more than the
best that I am able, and I am proud to say, I hear no complaints.
What? Leave the Church? Why? If it were not for this "Church" I would have become
that which you obviously are; A big spoiled rotten crybaby who cannot tolerate
seeing
other people having fun and finding some way to enjoy themselves without attempting
to
cause hurt in some form or fashion.

Sebu en el planeta! Ned Wreck

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Prime@ni.net (Jeffrey Smith)

Let me quote you something from Carl Sagan's book, "Broca's Brain":

***************************
One prominent American religion confidently predicted that the
world would end in 1914. Well, 1914 has come and gone, and - whole the
events of that year were certainly of some importance - the world did
not, at least so far as I can see, seem to have ended. There are at
least three responses that an orginized religion can make in the face
of such a failed and fundamental prophecy. They could have said, "Oh,
did we say '1914'? So sorry, we meant '2014'. A slight error in
calculation. Hope you weren't inconvinenced in any way." But they did
not. They could have said, "Well, the would *would* have ended,
except we prayed very hard and interceded with God so He spared the
Earth." But they did not. Instead, the did something much more
ingenious. They announced that the world *had* in fact ended in 1914,
and if the rest of us hadn't noticed, that was our lookout. It is
astonishing in the fact of such transparent evasions that this
religion has any adherents at all. But religions are tough. Either
they make no contentions which are subject to disproof or they quickly
redesign doctrine after disproof. The fact that religions can be so
shamelessly dishonest, so contemptuous of the intelligence of thier
adherents, and still flourish does not speak very well for he
tough-mindedness of the believers. But it does indicate, if a
demonstration was needed, that near the core of the religious
experience is something remarkably resistant to rational inquiry.
**********************

So go pick on a Seventh Day Adventist and leave us alone. I don't
stick my nose in your theological affairs [1], kindly grant me the
same courtesy.

[1] Unless you're a Scientologist, in which case I wish to tell you
that you are an incredibly gullible fool.

**** **** **** ****
SubGenius Police, Usenet Tactical Unit (Mobile), aka S.P.U.T.U.M.
Unit CLXXXVII: "Primum Nocere
Parahuman Ragnarok Initiators,METAsysop Element
http://www.sputum.com/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: fwhite*NOSPAM*@colfax.com (Frank White)

Um... anyone with an IQ higher than a glass of water KNOWS this is all
in fun. A joke. An amusement. Nothing to get upset about.

Have you have YOUR IQ tested lately?

FW

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: <revjcii@0.0.0.0>

what am i supposed to do? believe in some invisible monster that helps little
sick kids get better but never has anything to do with them dying? always
has a finger in saving people from a storm that of course he never would
have created. how much sense does that make? pull the wool over your own
eyes dammit.

bleh. you need to get on with your life.
____________ _ ________
---- \\ ____/ --------------- _____\ \\ --------------------
:::: /___/ \__ e V E R E N D // \ ___/ c H R I S T . i i :::
------- //___// -------------- \_____/ -----( false jesii inc )-

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Dr. Jack MeHoff" <revjack@visi.net>

Let's see...

1) I sent $30 to a church that claims I'm a Yeti descendent destined
to kill everyone on the planet at a predetermined date,
2) I've gotten more entertainment and slack from this self-same church
than from all other conspiracy-tainted forms of time-wasting
(except, of course, your website...what a hoot! My $20's in the
mail...),
3) I've met more cool, smart, funny, weird, and/or just plain great
people since I joined the church than in the 30 years of life
before it,
4) I've become more outgoing and vocal about my views and ideas than
I've been in a long time,
5) I haven't had a bout with depression or angst since I sent my money
in,
and,
6) Not a thing anyone says about me, my family/friends, or the church
really matters to me anymore, beyond it's ability to make me zoom
Diet Mountain Dew out my nose (cool website, man!).

I may be going out on a limb here, but the only PROOF I've received is
the Church of the SubGenius screwed up a Rupture date, and STILL has
come through on more promises, and delivered on more laughs than any
other religion I've been exposed to.

A fraud? Dude, aren't you the guy who did the DOCUMENTARY on the
church?
Just when did the fraud part sink in? And just WHAT did you think the
church was all about, anyway? Look, any guy with a camera can get
caught
up in the moment so much, he/she/it's likely to have quite a bit of
perception skewed - you sure all those serious, convincing people you
saw talking about killing all the pinks weren't...well, pulling your
leg?
Telling you what you want to hear? Pulling the wool over your eyes? If
you haven't noticed, we kind of specialize in that here. And just what
the
sam-hill's so wrong about wishing death on your enemies? Isn't that
what
religion's for?

Look, I read what you said about your views on the church before you got
your boxers in a bunch. And, truthfully, how much worse is a few people
wishing death on faceless members of a pink society, than, say, a
prominent
tele-evangelist predicting destructive acts of God coming to a state
whose main business community promoted a fun day for homosexuals?
Where's
the ExposePat page?

Look, send in your $30, give the church a look-see again, and come back.
The initiation's not near as bad as it looks on film, and the splurting,
bleading head symptoms are just part of the procedure...

+==================+
Rev. Dr. Jack MeHoff
First Church of Total Relaxology "It's hard to act superior when
revjack@visinot.net covered in your own sick."
http://members.visi.net/~revjack -Rev. Jack
Slack Talk in Real Audio 5.0 (Remove "not" to reply)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: 1136767@skytel.com (Dr. Derek Robb, Kaiju Hakase)

Allow me to don my cult zombie hat and say "YOU JUST DON'T GET IT"...

If you weren't at brushwood, i can imagine how folks might think it was a
fraud... But, for those who attended, it was the GREATEST affirmation of
faith in the church of the subgenius... It PROVED that the subgenius MUST
HAVE SLACK...

Now, this is not a REQUEST or a DEMAND or anything like that.. it's a
simple STATEMENT OF FACT.. in much the same way that fire MUST be
hot,consume oxygen and feul... so it is that the subgenius MUST have
slack.

Proof of this was abundant at brushwood. Consider... 350 subgeniuses
PARTYING like HELL to celebrate ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. The subgenius NEEDS NO
REASON to FUNK OUT.

And sure.. the rupture didn't turn out to be TRUE according to the
prophecies, but.. more importantly, it DID turn out to be DAMN FUNNY.

Of course, you had to have been there to appreciate this... but, hey.
that's how most of the best jokes work.

--
You can't fight City Hall, but you can for goddamn sure blow it up.

http://www.tezcat.com/~aieeee http://www.nutmeg.net
reply-email to THIS: a i e e e e @ t e z c a t . c o m

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: vt1@geocities.com (VT)

Funny thing is, nothing has changed about US, the ones who paid our
dues and got the card. We still are the bastard children of the Yeti,
whether or not "Bob" exists as the spiritual fulfilment of the 'not
quite right' people in this world, or just a piece of clip-art from
the Yellow Pages.

I was a Yeti, I am a Yeti, I will always be a Yeti !!

Anyway, I may get older, but who really wants to 'grow up'...

Reverend Brother VT

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: temujin9@spamless.mci2000.com (Nathaniel Eliot)
>Sorta begs the question - why are you following us losers around?

I'll give yah a hint:

Troll, troll, troll your posts
Make alt.slack-ies scream
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Flamewars are my dream

temujin9

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Sketchy Albedo <revjack@radix.net>

Yah, I'll give you that. Big ol' hook sticking out and I bite anyway.
Still can't resist sometimes. mmmmmm *CHOMP*

Interesting new meme coming out this time - Seriousness. Recursive
non-seriousness. I'm not taking you seriously. You're taking me seriously.
My last post was not serious but this one is because I have to explain
that I was not being serious. Although I reserve the right to say that
this one isn't serious either. I'm serious about not being serious. I'm
not serious about being serious. Etc. Sort of like an escape hatch on a
boat - just lands you in the bilge. Not sure what to make of it yet.

What makes trolling alt.slack different from trolling other froups is that
it gives us all more opportunities to Witless for "Bob", which is one of
the reasons we're all here. So who wins, who loses? That's one them
rhetorical questions, you don't answer it.

RJ, wrigglin' on that hook
--
_________________
revjack@radix.net
Hey Hey We're The Slackies

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: terrygibson@rocketmail.com

Well,well,well look who's here!!!!
Provided this isn't some sort of "spoof" posting
that is. I doubt it though.
Kurt, you are an arrogant, petty, evil minded little
monster. I actually believe that you hoped that
something heartbreaking would happen last
weekend,just so you could crow "I told you so" on
the Geraldo show.
THERE ARE BOBBIES HALF YOUR AGE WHO GRASP
THIS MORE THAN YOU!!!!!!! YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED
OF YOUR SELF, WISHING HARM ON INNOCENT
PEOPLE!!!! FUCK OFF!!!!!!

-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----
http://www.dejanews.com/rg_mkgrp.xp Create Your Own Free Member Forum

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Unclaimed Mysteries <cls@ro.com>
>

Usually I can discern a troll pretty consistently. You have to, when you
hang out on a big troll target such as news:alabama.politics. In this
case I'm not sure. This guy has sent me some disturbing e-mail. He seems
to think I'm "salvageable" because I'm not one of the heil-archy., err,
hierarchy.

Corry Lee Smith clsmith@nasw.org
Unclaimed Mysteries -- http://www.nasw.org/users/clsmith/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Stan" <sday@tp.net>

Eat shit pink-boy!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: twgs@whatsthepoint.net (Jahweh D. Lynch)

Thus spake Sketchy Albedo:

>RJ, wrigglin' on that hook

Well, it's the wrigglin'. All that wrigglin' is so damn sexy I could
scream.

--
"Wir feiern einen Party und du bist nicht dabei"
- Herbert Groenemeyer | remove whats to email
JIGGY WEEK: http://www.thepoint.net/~twgs/jiggy/jiggy.htm

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: David Voth <drv1@concentric.net>

Exposebob wrote:
>
> Well, so far, no reports of any suicides or stupid stunts like say, some young

<mercy snip>

Sham? You idiot.

It's a JOKE, get it? It's always been a joke, and it will always be a
joke.

You misguided twit. Get a life. No, get a job. You deserve it, stupid
fuck.

Reverend David Voth

--
All Hail the Knights of Xenu RC5-64 Crypto Cracking Team!
We're "upstat" and growing fast.
See http://www.xenu.net/archive/events/KoX-rc5des/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Dr. Phrederick Q. Armageddon" <phred@chicagonet.net>

What is real sad, is that in a vain attempt to start a "new and interesting"
(tm) thread, some Bobbie wasted time starting a new temp account on AOL to act like
a "Concerned Citizen" (tm).

"Exposebob@aol.com"? Per-leeze!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Unit4@Sputum.Com (Doktor DynaSoar)

In alt.slack Exposebob wrote:

^But I can't believe you people are still
^acting as if nothing has happened. You've been HAD.

Uh, U-huh. Uh, Rilly? Like uh, fer REELY REEEL?

You smart. Can I join yer rilijun?

--
(@ @)\DynaSoar\___, Doktor DynaSoar Iridium, Scienfictiontologist
ll ll Yetii Genetii Research InstiToot, Somedamnwhere, VA
Clench of The One True Pipe Dream, ElectroChurch of the SubGenius

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: temujin9@spamless.mci2000.com (Nathaniel Eliot)

On Wed, 08 Jul 1998 12:45:36 -0500, Unclaimed Mysteries
<cls@ro.com> wrote:

>Nathaniel Eliot wrote:

>
>Usually I can discern a troll pretty consistently. You have to, when you
>hang out on a big troll target such as news:alabama.politics. In this
>case I'm not sure. This guy has sent me some disturbing e-mail. He seems
>to think I'm "salvageable" because I'm not one of the heil-archy., err,
>hierarchy.

But does it matter either way whether it is a troll, as long as
we treat it as one?

temujin9
if a luser posts in a killfile, does anybody notice

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Carl Guderian <carlg@pop.net>

Well, lately I HAVE been praying "please don't find a Dobbshead, please don't find
a Dobbshead" every time they search a trigger-happy kid's room for clues. But, hey,
I think X-Day needed a little air let out of it. Some of you guys needed to be
reminded of the "inherently bogus" part and stop taking the Church so seriously.
Like this guy.

>
>
> Let me quote you something from Carl Sagan's book, "Broca's Brain":
>
> ***************************
> One prominent American religion confidently predicted that the
> world would end in 1914. Well, 1914 has come and gone, and - whole the
> events of that year were certainly of some importance - the world did
>

I thought it was the Jehovah's Witnesses, but whatever. And goddamit, Butthead
Astronomer didn't have much sense of humor. Anyway, aside from doomsday predictions
that don't come off, we've still got a serviceable theology here. And it's got as
much a chance of adding a few inches to Tom Cruise's height as that other greasy
sci-fi religion.

> [1] Unless you're a Scientologist, in which case I wish to tell you
> that you are an incredibly gullible fool.
>
> **** **** **** ****
> SubGenius Police, Usenet Tactical Unit (Mobile), aka S.P.U.T.U.M.
> Unit CLXXXVII: "Primum Nocere
> Parahuman Ragnarok Initiators,METAsysop Element
> http://www.sputum.com/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Carl Guderian <carlg@pop.net>

Nathaniel Eliot wrote:

> I'll give yah a hint:
>
> Troll, troll, troll your posts
> Make alt.slack-ies scream
> Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
> Flamewars are my dream
>
> temujin9

Mm-hm! Yummy worm! (spits out hook)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Pee Kitty <Pkitty@viking.cris.com>

Exposebob <exposebob@aol.com> spewed forth:
> Well, so far, no reports of any suicides or stupid stunts like say, some young
> high school kid with a gun killing "normals" for Bob. (Let's hope no such
> reports come trailing in late). But I can't believe you people are still
> acting as if nothing has happened. You've been HAD. You finally got PROOF of it
> and you're still here. What will it take to show you it's all a fraud? Why do
> you continue to follow this sham? This is amazing. And sad.

Have you no faith?

This was a small delay, not the end of things, my unbelieving friend. The
saucers missed the coordinates, true, but mistakes do happen. "Bob" shall
make it all right in the end.

And this time someone ELSE gets to carry the antennae. I don't think I can
survive losing ANOTHER internal organ to the fucking Yists.

--

Rev. Pee Kitty, of the order Malkavian-Dobbsian
Meow!

::: Official Martyr of X-Day! <http://www.cris.com/pkitty/xday98>

From: "Rev. Dr. Phrederick Q. Armageddon" <phred@chicagonet.net>

Gilbert The Magnificent wrote:

> Faith is like an ant.
>

What? With six legs and mandibles and such not? Explain this baffling concept to
us, O enlighten'd one, that we may bask in the brightness of your wisdom. Pray, favor
us with this one small favor, even though we are naught but spittle bedewing thine
offal covered boots.

Please? Mit zugar unt zpice?...
Pope Phred

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HK <nethuntr@iglou.com>
From: HK <nethuntr@iglou.com>
From: saint andreux <saint@!bugger-off!prairienet.org>
From: saint andreux <saint@!bugger-off!prairienet.org>
From: "Dr. Gilbert T. Sullivan" <gilbert@alt.net>
From: "Dr. Gilbert T. Sullivan" <gilbert@alt.net>
From: "Dr. Gilbert T. Sullivan" <gilbert@alt.net>

HK wrote:
>
> Timothy Sutter wrote:
>
> > Gilbert The Magnificent wrote:
> > >
> > > Pee Kitty wrote:
> > > >
> > > > Exposebob <exposebob@aol.com> spewed forth:
> > > > > Well, so far, no reports of any suicides or stupid stunts like say, some young
> > > > > high school kid with a gun killing "normals" for Bob. (Let's hope no such
> > > > > reports come trailing in late). But I can't believe you people are still
> > > > > acting as if nothing has happened. You've been HAD. You finally got PROOF of it
> > > > > and you're still here. What will it take to show you it's all a fraud? Why do
> > > > > you continue to follow this sham? This is amazing. And sad.
> > > >
> > > > Have you no faith?
> > > >
> > > > This was a small delay, not the end of things, my unbelieving friend. The
> > > > saucers missed the coordinates, true, but mistakes do happen. "Bob" shall
> > > > make it all right in the end.
> > > >
> > > > And this time someone ELSE gets to carry the antennae. I don't think I can
> > > > survive losing ANOTHER internal organ to the fucking Yists.
> > >
> > > Faith is like an ant.
> >
> > makes a neat colony in your head and even the aardvarks can't get'em all
> > out.
>
> Somehow, the Aardvarks of Faithlessness has a nice ring to it!

That's what your mother told me.-MoRoN

--
--Lord Gilbert T. Sullivan-=-<Master/Inventor of GPA>=-=
Ruler of: alt.Evil
alt.F.K.M.N
alt.Flame
alt.AVFFF

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=gilbert@alt.net-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jaden@nospam.parkave.net (Jaden)

Just out of curiosity, do you have a program that generates this automatically?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HK <nethuntr@iglou.com>
From: brpemb00@cslab.uky.edu (Brian Pemberton)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.fan.dr.gilbert-sullivan,alt.discordia,alt.flame,alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk
From: Deekoo L. <squoink.Uyk@xxx-18.com>

E> exposebob@aol.com (Exposebob) wrote:
E> Well, so far, no reports of any suicides or stupid stunts like say, some you
E> high school kid with a gun killing "normals" for Bob. (Let's hope no such
E> reports come trailing in late). But I can't believe you people are still
E> acting as if nothing has happened. You've been HAD. You finally got PROOF of
E> and you're still here. What will it take to show you it's all a fraud? Why d
E> you continue to follow this sham? This is amazing. And sad.

The Xists HAVE come!

None were seen at Brushwood because the Xists only landed in what they
considered ideal habitats. Mostly under large suspension bridges.

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