The SubGenius Internationale

From: (Kenneth Huey)


Had a dream a couple of days ago in which I had this unsettling feeling that I was going on about my business as if I had all the time in the world whereas I knew I had very good reason to believe that the aliens were going to be wiping out all life on this planet in just a few weeks.

And then I woke up, and counted the days until X-Day.


Subject: A Spectre Is Haunting Huey...

Okay, it's like this: I was listening to the Talk of the Nation show while eating lunch, and since it was the day before May Day and the 150th anniversary of the publication of The Communist Manifesto, Ray Suarez and his guests were talking about Karl Marx and his writings.

Someone was calling in with an opinion that I thought didn't require my attention, so I got distracted by the article I was reading in the new Nation magazine. Coincidentally, it, too, was about Marx. It included this familiar quote from the Manifesto:

"Constant revolutionizing of production, uninterrupted disturbance of all social conditions, everlasting uncertainty and agitation distinguish the bourgeois epoch from all earlier ones."

As I was reading along, I got an odd feeling, and absently tried to think what it might be.

"All fixed, fast-frozen relations, with their train of ancient and venerable prejudices and opinions, are swept away, all new-formed ones become antiquated before they can ossify."

With an uncanny sensation I realized that the voice of Ray Suarez, on the radio, was reading along with me... word for word!

"All that is solid melts into air, all that is holy is profaned, and man is at last compelled to face with sober senses, his real conditions of life, and his relations with his kind."

Desperately, I realized that there was only one thing to do. So I stood up and launched into a verse of The Internationale.

Arise, ye prisoners of starvation!
Arise, ye wretched of the earth!
For justice thunders condemnation,
A better world's in birth.
No more, tradition's chains shall bind us, Arise ye slaves, no more in thrall.
The earth shall rise on new foundations, We have been naught, we shall be all.

'Tis the final conflict,
Let us stand in our place.
The Internationale
Shall be the human race!
'Tis the final conflict,
Let us stand in our place.
The Internationale
Shall be the human race!

Then I felt better.

Your faithful comrade,


And, in closing, here's my adaptation of the above anthem to SubGenius doctrine.

"Arise!" The Videotape (TM) has shown us. "Arise!" the radio shows command.
It's time that we collect our bonus.
The saucers soon shall land!
No more shall Pinks and Normals taunt us. Arise SubGenii, and stand tall!
Human scum no more will haunt us.
"Bob" shall lead us; they shall crawl!

'Tis the final conflict,
Soon we'll rise into space.
The Church of the SubGenius
Shall crush the human race.
'Tis the final conflict,
Soon we'll fly off into space.
The Church of the SubGenius
Shall crush the human race!

(I'm attaching this as an .sea archive of an .aiff file-- hope that doesn't make your Mac explode.)


Please enjoy your individually-crafted
E-mail communication from:

The Studio of Kenneth Huey

"Cogito ergo cogito sum."

You may find a beautiful example of my digital illustration at: Church of the SubGenius: Salvation or Triple Your Money Back (Watch for the End of the World on July 5th, 1998!)

Up one level
Back to document index

Original file name: SubInternationnallle

This file was converted with TextToHTML - (c) Logic n.v.