The Brag of the Really Lame Subgenius

From: (Phineas Narco)

yay! I am a really good person and uh... let's see, I'm cool as a...
refrigerator! and I am able to do many neat things such as.. uhm,
well, I have good communication skills and I, well I'm good with pets
and children, well I don't like children that much but one time there
was this kid at the video store and his dad went into the porn section
and left him alone and before he got scared I showed him some disney
pogs to get his mind off it but anyway.. so I'm like really
RESOURCEFUL and I well I have lots of good qualities I could tell you,
I uh, I am well, hmmm...

I guess you could say I'm a people person. I'm very creative and I
come from a good background and let's see, I'm a pretty good cook. Did
you ever make spaghetti with Manwich sauce? It's really hard to find
at the supermarket. At Safeway they don't just tell you what aisle
it's on, they go and show you where it is, but I feel guilty cuz they
must get asked stuff like 'where's the Manwich sauce all the time'. I
mean is it canned meat or what? but I digress...

I am just really REALLY great! I mean, uh... I am... well, I'm really
reliable, you wouldn't believe. I always show up to work ontime unless
there's like a traffic jam or something and I, well, you know, I like
myself, I guess that's what I'm saying. I've learned to like myself
and I feel that I'm just a really good person. I don't have to come up
with all these metaphors and everything to show how great I am. I
don't need your validation. Why are you judging me? What did I ever
do to you?


I'm sorry. Oh. I'm sorry I flew off the handle like that. i guess
things haven't been going well lately. sometimes I lose my temper, but
I'm really an easy going person usually. That's another thing you
should know about me. I'm friendly. I just, I don't know, like one
time a friend of mine came over and he was just acting really
obnoxious and he kept playing with my stereo and I said 'don't play
with my stereo' and he just kept on playing with it and he would stop
I told him to stop and they he started making snide comments and I
just snapped and tore his shirt and .. well.. I think it's like a
sugar imbalance or something? I read in a Time magazine article it has
something to do with serotonin levels

I don't know...

But anyway,

Let's see, this is a brag? I don't know... I'm supposed to like list
good things about myself? Like affirmations right? "I am getting
better and better every day in every way" Sometimes I say that in
front of the mirror and it makes me feel good. I'm, let's see, I'm

I'm going to go take a nap, maybe I can work on this brag thing later
when I'm feeling less tired.

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Original file name: The Brag of the Really LameŠ

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