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From: mitchell@Doesn't.Spam.Suck.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Stang Challenged to Arm Wrestling Trial
Date: 21 May 1998 21:40:59 GMT
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In article <3563ab14.24772451@news.io.com>, gggor@io.com says...
>
> Public Notice:
>GG Gordon hereby challenges Ivan Stang to an arm wrestling or nearole
>twisting (whichever he prefers) for impugning my sense of veracity and
>not geting the JOKE! Any time and any place (within reason unless you
>payin' Stang). Said Gordon demands a snivelling and cringing apology
>from said sacred scribe Ivan Stang or blood will surely flow!!!!

Whatever happened to MUMBLEY-PEG?!?

P.Lil

--
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| Lilith von Fraumench, Esq. | 1122 E Pike St, #769 |
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From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Stang Challenged to Arm Wrestling Trial
Date: Thu, 21 May 1998 18:18:51 -0600
Organization: The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
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In article <3563ab14.24772451@news.io.com>, gggor@io.com (G. G. Gordon) wrote:

> Public Notice:
> GG Gordon hereby challenges Ivan Stang to an arm wrestling or nearole
> twisting (whichever he prefers) for impugning my sense of veracity and
> not geting the JOKE! Any time and any place (within reason unless you
> payin' Stang). Said Gordon demands a snivelling and cringing apology
> from said sacred scribe Ivan Stang or blood will surely flow!!!!

I WILL TAKE YOU ON, MOTHERFUCKER!!! NO RULES. ANY hold you wanna take.
KNIVES OKAY. You AND the Samuels Brothers. HAVE AT IT!!! COME ON!!!

Only, what's a "nearole twisting?"

Okay, man, I apologize for thinking you might ever be FUCKING DUMB-ASS
STUPID CROSS-EYED RETARDED enough to consider NOT attending the X-Day
Brushwood Finale.

Okay? I apologize. I upturn my buttocks to you symbollically.

And as for the arm wrestling, HEY. YOU WIN. I don't doubt that a wiry old
assassin bastard like yourself could whip my weeny little skinny
Ivangelical ass. I'm a lover, not a fighter. I dared to rassle weak WOMEN
at the last Drill and they whupped me EASILY. And Susie the Floozie and
Friday Jones are not exactly the most hard-body American Gladiator
muscle-babes either. In fact they are both the most SOFTEST, FEMININE,
LUSCIOUS... uh... ahem. But they sure had more testosterone than I did,
apparently.

But why must we battle, anyway? Are we silly juvenile apelike Holocaustals?
Are we sissified intellectual Ivangelicals? No. We are Doktors. Original
Apostles of the Dobbs. We are civilized men. Upright primates who know how
to NOT FUCK UP.

If you really believe that a display of brute strength will clarify
anything, I'm perfectly willing to go toe to toe with you.

But man... wouldn't you rather go up against a REAL foe. Wouldn't you
rather FUCK OVER a Holocaustal. Wouldn't you EVER SO MUCH RATHER GRIND THE
FACE OF A LEGUMIAN HOLOCAUSTAL RIGHT INTO THE PAVEMENT WITH YOUR BOOTHEEL.
Just offering the suggestion.

--
Copyright 1998 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack

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From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Stang Challenged to Arm Wrestling Trial
Date: Thu, 21 May 1998 18:42:10 -0600
Organization: The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
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In article <6k1v01$1os@examiner.concentric.net>, Pee Kitty
<Pkitty@galileo.cris.com> wrote:

>
> Arm Wrestlin? Blah...wait til July; we're gonna bring out the tarp and get
> you two on there for some oil wrestling!
>

This time we're thinking of BLOOD wrestling. Blood, or SOMETHING red and
clotty. Mainly because of the visual potential. Hardly any of us are very
good looking, but you'd be AMAZED how many sins are hidden by BRIGHT RED
BODY PAINT. When we were doing the SubGenius-MTV minute with MTV, I bought
this JUG of RED BODY PAINT for the devil-girls in the "Bob" Offering Money
in Hell While Being Worshipped by Devil Women shot. Those three girls and
two guys (including former SubGenius Buck Naked) required only about 3
TABLESPOONS from this huge jub of red body paint, to cover their entire
disgusting physiques! And I'll tell you what. Two of those girls were
really just regular looking girls, but in the red body paint and devil
costumes they became the HOTTEST got-dayem thangs you EVER saw, and I AIN'T
LYIN'! I personally was about like to DIE during the shooting.

Anyway, the red body paint is water-based and EASY TO WASH OFF -- as
opposed to the oil; it took Susie and Friday and me HOURS to get that shit
off us... I'm sure you and Pasttor Craig had the same experience. It's
VISUALLY appealing. Looks most ARRESTING on film... not that I've ever
filmed it.* I brought the jug to both the Drills, but as usual forgot about
it, but someone else got into it during the Crucifixion last year and cut
quite a SEXY figure in the devil suit and red body paint. (WARNING --
SOMEONE ELSE HAS BEEN STUDYING BELLY DANCING FOR THE LAST 6 MONTHS).

BUT THEN.

Legume and Dr. Strange pointed out that it wouldn't be that hard to obtain
a bucket or barrel of PIG'S BLOOD just like in CARRIE. Yep, REAL BLOOD.
Sticky, salty, coagulating and utterly disgusting. Gross god damn diseased
scabbed-up pig blood.

This is where you begin to see the difference between the Holocaustal and
the Ivangelical.

The Ivangelicals will GIVE you, as an OPTION, the red body paint. The
Holocaustals will FORCE you to wear the PIG BLOOD. WHO DO YOU TRUST!??!?

*If there was any way for me to shoot a whole lot of 16mm color film on a
good camera, like an Arriflex or whatnot, of the stuff that happens around
the bonfires at Brushwood, well... it would be a DAMNED PRETTY film. I've
discussed that with the folks who run the big pagan events there,
Starwood... the problem is that most of these naked dancing weirdos have
real jobs and don't particularly want their bosses to see them on CNN's
"SATAN CULT SPECIAL". If it was editted to just include LIMBS and FLASHING
GLIMPSES OF FACES it might capture the strange Cro-Magnon sense of those
late nite drumming and trance-dancing sessions. I guess lots of films have
been done like this of Africans and Indians dancing around huge bonfires,
but there's a dearth of footage of Caucasian religious nuts dancing
themselves into a frenzy. it happens a lot more than most employers think.
And there are some GREAT squirrel-shots to be gleaned from such sessions,
thusfar going wasted.

--
Copyright 1998 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack

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From: nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Stang Challenged to Arm Wrestling Trial
Date: Thu, 21 May 1998 23:57:36 GMT
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mitchell@Doesn't.Spam.Suck.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)
wrote:
: In article <3563ab14.24772451@news.io.com>, gggor@io.com says...
: > Public Notice:
: >GG Gordon hereby challenges Ivan Stang to an arm wrestling or nearole
: >twisting (whichever he prefers) for impugning my sense of veracity and
: >not geting the JOKE! Any time and any place (within reason unless you
: >payin' Stang). Said Gordon demands a snivelling and cringing apology
: >from said sacred scribe Ivan Stang or blood will surely flow!!!!
:
: Whatever happened to MUMBLEY-PEG?!?

I read that as FUMBLY MEG. It was CUTE.

--------------------------------------------------------------
"I found this entire scene extremely gratifying, at once a
metonymy of the process and evidence of a new and refreshing
relaxation of out-moded shibboleths." --Damien Broderick
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--MegaLiz
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From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Stang Challenged to Arm Wrestling Trial
Date: Fri, 22 May 1998 00:11:36 -0400
Organization: PARTS
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In article <i.stang-ya02408000R2105981842100001@enews.newsguy.com>,
i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:

>Legume and Dr. Strange pointed out that it wouldn't be that hard to obtain
>a bucket or barrel of PIG'S BLOOD just like in CARRIE. Yep, REAL BLOOD.
>Sticky, salty, coagulating and utterly disgusting. Gross god damn diseased
>scabbed-up pig blood.

Remeber, if you wrestle in the REAL pig's blood, CONCENTRATE during the
Rupture and purge your body of trichinosis. Otherwise we're going to have
giant immortal worms crawling all over the Saucers and all the men madly
chasing & fucking them.

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From: Pee Kitty <Pkitty@viking.cris.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Stang Challenged to Arm Wrestling Trial
Date: 22 May 1998 01:48:44 EDT
Organization: Dobbstown Sane Asylum
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Rev. Ivan Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> spewed forth:

> Anyway, the red body paint is water-based and EASY TO WASH OFF -- as
> opposed to the oil; it took Susie and Friday and me HOURS to get that shit
> off us... I'm sure you and Pasttor Craig had the same experience.

Now the memory that jumps out at ME is that I was expecting baby oil, or
some sort of lotion, or maybe motor oil...but before I know what's going
on, these people are lathering me up with CRISCO! Cooking oil, my
friends...gobs and gobs of it...me in just my briefs...under a hot summer
sun.

By the end of the day I was so deep fried I was covered in BREADING,
dammit. And I was washing off corn oil - AND antichrist face makeup - for
the better part of two days. The smell never quite went away.

I'm looking forward to doing it again this year, by Dobbs.

--

Rev. Pee Kitty, of the order Malkavian-Dobbsian
Meow!

| "Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke is more than just a meaningless |
| slogan; it's actually a pretty serious statement, and one that I hold |
| true to, with a cream pie in one hand and a chainsaw in the other..." |
| -- Me |

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