No! Legume at XX Day

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <MPG.11c09677b945e16d9896a8@news.mtco.com>, bmguth@mtco.com
(Reverend AmphibiousAssault) wrote:

>
> So, anyway, who IS going to this damn thing? (aside from me, obviously.)
>
> -Amph

I'm going. I'm so rich that I have the camping fee. AND the gas money. So
does Jesus. But that's because of His bartending job, not His
bobbietending job. I have it because of my blowjob jobs. Eh, it's a
living. I wish the bus station restrooms smelled a little cleaner.

Friday Jones, Sis Dec, Dok Frop, Susie the Floozy, Einstein's Secret
Orchestra, me, Wei, and I think GGG is planning to be there, Jesus and
Mary, Papa Joe, Onan, P-Lil, Little Fyodor, a shitload of rockets, and Regis the sound guy with all his gear... us and Locnar, and Joe Auffricht, that adds up to A PARTY! Oh yeah, and I forgot those few EXTRA SPECIAL guests... THE XISTS. The ones YOU FORGOT!!! Backsliders. Legume... too fucking macho to suck a few cocks for $20 a day. Back when I was a child like Legume, "Bob" only paid us $5
a DAY to do blowjobs for the Church! "You're all a bunch of PUSSIES!" --
Legume with a hat pin through his lip, and a cigarette pinned to it,
X-DayDrill96.

Legume's just afraid he'll get drunk and skewer his lips again! I don't
blame him.

Also, I think he's probably squeamish about what Friday's REALLY gonna do
to Joe.

--
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack

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From: legume@subgenius.com (Legume)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: No Legume at XX Day

In article <i.stang-0806990324100001@fcn105-109.tmi.net>,
i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:
>I'm going. I'm so rich that I have the camping fee. AND the gas money. So
>does Jesus. But that's because of His bartending job, not His
>bobbietending job. I have it because of my blowjob jobs. Eh, it's a
>living. I wish the bus station restrooms smelled a little cleaner.

Lair. You LOVE that smell. I've SEEN you eat the MINTS out of the urinals, you
nasty bitch.
>
>
> Oh yeah, and I forgot those few EXTRA SPECIAL guests... THE XISTS. The ones
>YOU FORGOT!!!

We didn't forget them...they forgot US. And if they show up this year, Cas
Smith's Rocket Rangers and my Subgenius Light Artillery Korps will BLAST THEM
FROM THE SKY.

> Backsliders. Legume... too fucking macho to suck a few cocks
>for $20 a day.

Damn, Stang. You must have REALLY improved your technique to be able to give
out TWO THOUSAND of your famous "Penny Head Jobs". Does the bank give you any
shit about that many unrolled pennies?

> Back when I was a child like Legume, "Bob" only paid us $5
>a DAY to do blowjobs for the Church!

And he was being generous at that, for a washed up hag like you.

> "You're all a bunch of PUSSIES!" --
>Legume with a hat pin through his lip, and a cigarette pinned to it,
>X-DayDrill96.

Quoting me out of context, are we? You don't mention that I was in a romm full
of fluffy little kittens. And I needed to have the cigarette pinned to my lip,
to free my hands up to scratch the little kitties behind the ears.
>
>Legume's just afraid he'll get drunk and skewer his lips again! I don't
>blame him.

I wasn't drunk last time...if I drink too much, I can't CUM from the pain.
>
>Also, I think he's probably squeamish about what Friday's REALLY gonna do
>to Joe.
>
Uh, yeah, actually, I AM. Ever since the Boston Devival, when I walked in and
caught Friday masturbating while watching "Schindler's List", I've kept her
name on the RED list.

Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume

Mecagum les cinc llagues de Crist,
mecagum D'eu, en la creu, en el fuster
que la fue i en fill de puta que va plantar el pi

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From: friday@subgenius.com (Friday Jones)

In article <7jjeme$nli$1@usenet48.supernews.com>, legume@subgenius.com
(Legume) wrote:

> In article <i.stang-0806990324100001@fcn105-109.tmi.net>,
> i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:
> > "You're all a bunch of PUSSIES!" --
>
> Quoting me out of context, are we? You don't mention that I was in a romm
full
> of fluffy little kittens. And I needed to have the cigarette pinned to my
lip,
> to free my hands up to scratch the little kitties behind the ears.

/me purrrrs

> >Also, I think he's probably squeamish about what Friday's REALLY gonna do
> >to Joe.
> >
> Uh, yeah, actually, I AM. Ever since the Boston Devival, when I walked
in and
> caught Friday masturbating while watching "Schindler's List", I've kept her
> name on the RED list.

You know what 'Schindler's List' makes me think of? Hubcaps. Schindler
gives this big weepy speech as he leaves his factory for the last time
about what he should have sold, and how many lives he could have saved with
his money. But in REALITY, he drove away in a car whose hubcaps were
stuffed with diamonds!

And I thought Liam Neeson was scarier than Ralph Fiennes. I mean, Neeson
is HUGE. He's like a frickin' brick wall in a double-breasted suit. He
was SCAARRYYYY. I'd much rather have been trapped in a elevator with Ralph
as the Commandant than that scary Schindler.

--
*** SLAK WARS - EPISODE 1:THE SUBGENIUS MENACE ***
The most controversial SubGenius Devival EVER!
Visit http://www.fridayjones.com for details

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From: monsterwax@aol.com (Monsterwax)

I'm not about to weigh in on this conversation. Suffice it to say that Stang,
Legume and Friday are all atop of my A-1 Ass wipe list. I'm going to this X-day
for one reason, and one reason only: To CLEAR MY BAD NAME! (Okay, two reasons:
REVENGE! (Alright, maybe three reasons: HATE! (Oh, and maybe four reasons: THE
MONEY!)))

Truth? You want the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! If you could, you won't
be in this %*$@ Church!

And whatever they cook up for me in the LIES department, I'll be ready for
them. By the time my slimebag Jewish Vampire lawyer gets done with them,
THEY'LL be the ones running begging for mercy. Just you wait and see!

So sure, show up with your Papa Joe Paddles and Joe Mama Mashers- but don't be
surprised if what you REALLY need is Friday Fryers, Legume Lancers, and Stang
Stabbers! And while the rest of us are having fun tormenting those who DESERVE
to be tormented, you'll just have to sit and cry because you came unprepared.

... And I'll get to say I told you so.

PS.Schindler's List was a COMEDY! The only sad part was when they kicked the
chair out from under my buddy with the noose around his neck. What a waste of
talent. Come X-day, it will be MY TURN to kick a few chairs...

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Date: Wed, 09 Jun 1999 10:53:32 -0700
From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <19990609021236.02081.00002431@ng-co1.aol.com>, Monsterwax
<monsterwax@aol.com> wrote:

> And whatever they cook up for me in the LIES department, I'll be ready for
> them. By the time my slimebag Jewish Vampire lawyer gets done with them,
> THEY'LL be the ones running begging for mercy. Just you wait and see!

You really shouldn't talk about Locnar this way....

The Prophet Lilith

--
======== Popess Lilith von Fraumench * http://come.to/p.lil =========
== Seattle SubGenii! We are the future! http://ssucc.ragnarokr.com ==
==== In ecstasy I mock the world - Emperor, "Ye Entrancemperium" ====

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From: friday@subgenius.com (Friday Jones)

If Locnar is his lawyer, maybe we should skip punishing Papa Joe and just
punish Locnar.

--
*** SLAK WARS - EPISODE 1:THE SUBGENIUS MENACE ***
The most controversial SubGenius Devival EVER!
Visit http://www.fridayjones.com for details

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Pic by Legume. L 2 R: Papa Joe Mama, Rev. Nickie Deathchick, Bob Dean, Jesus Christ, Dr. K'taden Legume, Rev. Ivan Stang, J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, Dr. G. Gordon Gordon, Rev. Susie the Floozy, Pope Sternodox Keckhaver, St. Janor Hypercleats, Rev. Ed Strange, IrRev. Friday Jones