Rev. Stang will return aetherically to Earth from his Escape Vessel and grant all pagan survivors in the Brushwood area at least 3 hours of respite from otherwise eternal torment by the various vengeful anti-pagan Saved SubGenii. During these three hours, the pain of post-X-Day earth existence will cease. Stang will, however, feel free to verbally taunt the Unsaved for their terrible mistake while making everyone watch home movies of his Escape Vessel and Sex Goddesses.
IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT OF X-DAY BEING POSTPONED (AND STANG NOT BEING IMPRISONED):
1. "THE WORLD ENDS *TOMORROW*!!"/ "A FRESH BOWL"
Accompanied by Einstein's Secret Orchestra and Rev. Bleepo Abernathy, Stang will preach any Newly Modified Eternal All-Purpose Punchline of Prophecy, unveil "Bob" Dobbs' 5 Secret Keys to MaiJikc, and will submit to the taunts of any UnSaved ignoramuses unable to appreciate the Mystery of X-Day. If we have use of the video screen, this can also be the World Premiere of the SubGenius X-Day Farewell Videos (a la Heaven's Gate, to be shot just before X-Day). Since we will have dynamited The Bleeding Head of Arnold Palmer on X-Day at Brushwood two weeks earlier, we will unveil and Launch a NEW, EDIBLE, *FROZEN* MYSTERY HEAD, the identity of which is sure to offend everyone. The new "EARTH FIRST" fireworks-and-flags parade and SubGenius Lullaby will climax this devival, marking the Church's ascendence to a New Era.
Any props that remain in Ohio after X-Day (such as the X-Day Puppet Show Stage) may also be utilized to recreate meaningful moments from the erstwhile End of the World.
Rev. Stang will also accompany (on Mouth) Einstein's Secret Orchestra, and provide a new special video projection backdrop for their Pufferdome concert.
Stang will suffer post-X-Day taunting from low-lifes and nonbelievers all day Friday and Saturday at the Sacred Sales Table.
Stang be honored to join The Firesign Clones for "EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS WRONG"
Stang will present a short (1 hour) workshop, if there is sufficient interest, on "HOW TO MILK THE INTERNET FOR ALL IT'S WORTH, AND GET AWAY WITH MURDER, BEFORE THE CONSPIRACY FIGURES OUT HOW TO WRECK IT"
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Original file name: Starwood SubGenius
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